These Sorrows We See

by Schultz, Tamsen

  “Dash?” He looked up to find Matty at the door to the office. “Are you coming?” she asked, holding out her hand.

  Dash gave a small smile and reached for her. When her fingers curled around his, he tugged her toward him. She came willingly and he wrapped his arms around her. “You’re really doing okay?” he asked, drawing his head back to look at her.

  She seemed to think about it for a moment before she nodded. “I am. I think it’s good to have everyone here. I’m glad you’re here, too,” she added.

  For a moment, he just looked down at her. He could worry about how they were going to work things out—families, jobs, houses, lifestyles. He could worry about being a small-town guy with a city girl. He could worry about her trust issues and their different backgrounds. There was a lot he could worry about. But right then, he was only interested in being there, with her, in that moment.

  “I’m glad I’m here, too.”

  CHAPTER 17

  AFTER THE EMOTIONAL DAY of the impromptu wake, Matty and Dash had tried to spend a quiet evening together, but that hadn’t quite worked out. First, her mother had called and insisted on coming up, which, after an hour or so, Matty had been able to talk her out of. Then Charlotte had called and insisted on the same thing. Matty had tried to talk her out of coming up too, but she was less certain of her success with her friend than with her mother. And then even Nanette, Charlotte’s mom, had called and offered to make the trip. After that, Dash’s parents had stopped by, and though in the grand scheme of things it wasn’t a flurry of activity, it was a constant stream of interruptions well into the night.

  At around eleven, after seeing his parents to the door, Dash handed Matty a shot of whisky and sent her off to bed. She tossed and turned for a while, until Dash joined her, curling his body around hers, and then she fell into a fitful sleep. A sleep filled with frenetic dreams of Brad, Dash, the earthquake in Haiti, and all sorts of random images. There hadn’t been a story to her dreams, as there usually was, just images. And so when she finally woke the next morning, just as the sun was creeping over the hills and shining its light through the window, she still felt exhausted.

  Leaving Dash in bed, she slipped into a robe and headed downstairs. After making a pot of coffee, she headed into the office to print up the daily crossword, a habit she’d had at home in DC but had fallen out of since her arrival in Windsor. She glanced around the office and a small frown touched her lips. It looked different, if only subtly so. Her laptop was off to the side and it looked like the cord connecting it to Brad’s printer had been pulled loose. The chair was positioned to the right side of the desk, which was odd because all the desk accessories were placed to the left, since that’s where she usually sat. Not to mention that she could have sworn she hadn’t even seen her laptop in the office the last time she’d looked for it.

  She paused in the middle of the room and turned around, surveying the rest of the space. The edge of a piece of paper was sticking out from the closed top drawer of the file cabinet and two of the three pictures on one of the bookshelves had been moved. Taking a closer look at the bookshelves, she thought it was also possible that one of the many binders that lined the bottom shelf was missing. She’d looked through them all during her search of the house but didn’t remember how many there were.

  “Everything okay?”

  At the sound of Dash’s voice, Matty whirled around, a little yelp escaping from her mouth as a hand came up to her chest.

  “You startled me,” she said, letting out a breath.

  Dash eyed her then stepped into the room. “Obviously. Sorry, I certainly didn’t mean to, but you looked like something was on your mind.” He reached out and brushed his palm over her cheek.

  She bit her lip and hesitated for just a moment before speaking. But then she remembered this was Dash; if she told him what she thought she was seeing, he would be a voice of reason, a voice of calm.

  “It looks different. Just a little off,” she said, turning back to the room.

  “What looks different?” he asked, coming to her side.

  Matty glanced around again before answering. “The room, the things in it.” Then she pointed out all the small things she’d just noticed. She watched Dash’s eyes sweep the space before landing on her computer. They lingered there for a moment, before returning to hers.

  “Remember, Ian, Carly, and Marcus were in here conducting a search the day you found Brad. Neither of us has really spent much time in here since then,” he offered.

  She tilted her head in thought. “I suppose things could have gotten moved around when they were in here searching. Or when all Brad’s friend were here. I didn’t see anyone come into this room, but there were a lot of people and it is right off the kitchen.”

  “That would be my guess, but if you’re concerned, given everything that’s been going on, we can ask Ian,” he offered.

  For a moment, Matty considered it. She wasn’t one to go running to the police every time someone said ‘boo,’ but she also wasn’t one to play the dumb victim, like all those horror movie kids who blithely tramp off into the woods when they know an ax murderer is on the loose. But then she thought about all the other things both Ian and Vivi were probably doing to find out what had happened to Brad, all the important things. She shook her head.

  “No, it’s fine. I’m sure you’re right—it’s just been a few days since I’ve been in here so I’m seeing it with new eyes.” She stepped over to her laptop and reconnected the printer cord tightly. “I was just about to print up a New York Times crossword, care to join me?” she asked, popping open her computer and keying in the URL.

  “As much as I would love to, I have a few clients I need to take care of at the clinic this morning.”

  She could tell by the tone of his voice that he didn’t like leaving her. “I’ll be fine,” she said.

  “I’m done around eleven-thirty and then I have to make a few calls out to some farms this afternoon. I wish I didn’t, Matty. I could try and cancel them.”

  “Don’t. I’ll be fine,” she insisted, giving him a smile. “Elise, my neighbor, was talking about showing me her collection of antique photos of New Orleans this morning. Then maybe I’ll go with you this afternoon, if you don’t mind the company?”

  He gave her a long look and she could see the struggle in his eyes. Finally, he crossed over to her and slid a hand behind her neck. “I don’t mind the company and it would be nice to have you along.” He looked about to say something else but then seemed to change his mind, dropping a kiss on her lips instead. “Lock the door behind me. I’ll grab some lunch and bring it back. We can eat here and then head out. Sound good?”

  She smiled up at him. “Sounds perfect.”

  The dogs made a beeline for the fields and yard as soon as Dash opened the door. Matty followed them all out, stepping out onto the patio behind Dash. Not yet touched by the morning sun, the flagstone felt cool beneath her bare feet. Even so, she could tell it was going to be another hot day as the humid air swirled around her bare legs.

  As his truck pulled down her driveway, she waved to Dash and then, in the silence that followed, took a deep breath. She could smell fresh-cut hay and hear bees already buzzing in the garden. Her eyes lifted to the hill and for a moment she stood there, caught between the peace the country seemed to bring her and the knowledge of the violence that had so recently touched it.

  She knew she needed to find out what had happened to Brad, what he’d been doing in Haiti and New Orleans and what, if anything, his employer thought he’d been involved in. But somehow, standing there on the patio with the clean, quiet air sliding over her skin and into her lungs, she couldn’t bring herself to think about it much. For the first time in a long time, Matty simply wanted to be. And so, in quiet, she went back into the house, poured herself a cup of coffee, walked back out to Brad’s garden—to the little swinging bench he must have put up at some point—and just sat.

  But life wasn’t so accommo
dating and within the space of two hours Lucy had been stung by a bee, one of the cats had deposited a dead mouse on the doorstep, and she’d gotten caught in the wild raspberries trying to toss the thing out. She was propped on the kitchen counter with her leg hanging over the sink, cleaning out the scratches, when she heard a car pull up. Dash’s reminder to lock the front door floated through her mind. Quickly scanning the counter, she spied a knife nearby. If worst came to worst, at least she had a weapon.

  Then a cooler head prevailed when she realized Rufus and the other dogs weren’t barking their heads off. If they were relatively quiet, that meant that whoever had driven up was known to them. And sure enough, within a few seconds she heard Vivi and Ian talking to each other as they came toward the house.

  “Come in,” Matty called when they knocked at the door.

  Vivi stuck her head around the door then stepped into the room. Ian followed.

  “Everything okay?” Ian asked, eying Matty.

  “Wild raspberries,” she responded as she pulled out what she hoped was the last thorn. “Just give me a second, I’m almost done. Help yourselves to some coffee while I finish,” she gestured to the pot sitting beside the stove as she rinsed her leg.

  “What were you doing in the raspberries?” Vivi asked. Matty told her about her hectic morning as Vivi poured a cup of coffee, handed it to Ian, and then poured another for herself.

  “Well, unfortunately, I don’t think we’re going to make it any better,” Ian said, leaning against the counter.

  “You have news?” Matty asked, drying her calf. She looked up when neither answered. Vivi wore a small frown and Ian stared at Matty with his characteristic straightforward gaze. “By the looks of it, I’m not going to like what I’m about to hear, am I?”

  “It’s, well,” Vivi paused, her lips pursed this time. “We don’t know what it means, but what we found is odd.”

  “And that is?” Matty swung herself off the counter and looked at the couple.

  Vivi glanced at Ian, who answered. “The bullet that killed the guy who fell from the tree and the bullet that killed Brad were fired from the same gun.”

  Matty blinked. “The same gun that was found with Brad?” she asked, confused.

  Vivi nodded. “Yes, but like I said, we don’t know what it means.”

  Now it was Matty’s turn to frown. “I don’t understand. It seems like that would mean that Brad killed the man in the tree and then killed himself.” It was a logical leap to make and, even though it didn’t make any sense to her why Brad would kill someone, it also didn’t make sense that Vivi was hesitating to see the logic.

  Vivi lifted a shoulder. “Normally, that is what we would think, too. But there were some inconsistencies that make that conclusion less certain.”

  “Inconsistencies?” Matty pressed, taking a sip of her own coffee.

  “We found a shoe imprint in the barn from someone other than Brad,” Ian said.

  “And we didn’t find the levels of gunshot residue on Brad that we would normally see on someone who’d recently fired a shotgun,” Vivi added.

  Matty looked at her visitors, trying to read their expressions, trying to figure out what they were saying. “So, maybe he didn’t kill the other man? Or himself?” she asked.

  Again, Vivi lifted a shoulder. “We think that either Brad killed him and then killed himself or that there was a third person involved.”

  “Someone who killed both of them,” Ian interjected.

  “And framed Brad.” Matty mulled the idea over a bit before positing a scenario. “So, maybe the man in the tree saw someone kill Brad and then was killed because he was a witness?”

  Ian dipped his chin. “We think that’s a possible scenario.”

  “And then the killer went back and placed the gun in Brad’s hand to make it look like Brad had killed himself after killing that man,” Matty voiced her thoughts out loud. Yes, she wrote thriller stories, but they were fiction. It was surreal to be having this conversation about real people, real events. Or possible real events, anyway.

  “I guess it’s a possibility,” she conceded. She hated that she didn’t know Brad well enough to know if he was capable of murder or suicide. But of the two options Vivi and Ian were considering, she preferred the option where Brad was killed—it sounded harsh, even in her own mind, but she’d rather not find out her half brother was a killer. There were already too many unknowns about him. And despite her own lack of relationship with her father and his wife, it was clear Douglas and Sandra cared deeply about their son and she still wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on either of them.

  “Did you ever find out who the man in the tree was?” Matty asked.

  Vivi nodded. “We actually ID’d him shortly after we last talked about him. The couple who own the property where the barn is located are weekenders and were away on a cycling holiday in New Zealand, unreachable by cell. They called as soon as they got our message and were able to give us a name,” she paused to take a breath. “His name was Randy Smeltzer. He is, or rather was, a banker from New York but had taken some time off work. He was up here staying at his friends’ house while they were away. No one had any cause to think anything had happened to him because he was not due back in New York until after Labor Day,” Vivi answered.

  Matty frowned thinking how sad that must be, that he’d been dead for several days while his family and friends assumed he was simply enjoying some time off. Not unlike Brad.

  “Do you mind if we go through Brad’s things one more time?” Ian asked, interrupting her thoughts.

  “We’d like to see if we can find any information that would point us one way or another,” Vivi added.

  For a fleeting second, Matty thought about the pictures and what she’d learned about the people in them. But Vivi had already seen those and Matty had no doubt that if Vivi wanted to recall the names of the people, whether they took a second look at the pictures or not, she would be able to.

  Matty nodded. “Of course.”

  Ian gave a small nod of thanks. “I’ll let Marcus and Carly know and they’ll probably be out here later this afternoon. I’ll come assist, but as sheriff, it’s better to have the police in on the search even if it is technically my jurisdiction.”

  “I may be out with Dash. We talked about running some of his rounds together this afternoon. I think I have an extra key, can I just give that to you?” she asked.

  “That would be great,” Vivi answered. “I’ll probably come along too, in my capacity as a consultant to the crime lab.”

  Matty set her coffee down and proceeded to test the extra keys hanging by the door until she found one that worked on the kitchen door. She handed it to Ian who thanked her, looked at Vivi, then said his good-byes before walking back to his truck.

  Vivi lingered for a moment, placing a hand on Matty’s arm. “How are you doing?”

  Matty was touched by the concern in the woman’s voice. “Hangin’ in there,” she answered with a ghost of a smile. “It’s all a bit surreal, that’s for sure.”

  “I’m sure it is. I’ve worked with death and violence every day for years, but when it was happening to me earlier this year, right here in Windsor, it didn’t feel real. It kept feeling like someone was going to jump out and yell ‘You’re on Candid Camera!’ or ‘You’ve been punk’d!’ or something like that.”

  Matty gave a soft laugh. “Yeah, it kind of does feel like that. Especially considering how little I knew Brad and how our lives never touched. Now, I’m living in his house, going through his things, and trying to figure out if he was a murderer or a victim.”

  Vivi gave her arm another quick squeeze and then let go. “It’s tough. If you ever need anything, you know where you can find me. Normally, we’d tell people to let us do our jobs and not do any investigating on their own, but if you think of anything, maybe something you learned living here, don’t hesitate to call me or Ian.”

  Matty let out a little breath. She wasn’t sure what she wa
s going to do in the long run about what she’d found out about the people in the pictures, or the visit from bank executive, but for now she held it back. Even as she did, she didn’t feel very good about the decision, but she just wasn’t ready to cast an even darker shadow over her half brother now that it was possible he was a murderer. It’s not that she didn’t trust Ian and Vivi, but her long-held prejudice against law enforcement in general was definitely rearing its head. If she had evidence that tended to point toward Brad, she feared it would become the only path they would look at. That was something she definitely didn’t want.

  “Thanks, Vivi. I know you guys are working hard on this and I know it’s got to be hard on the community, considering what happened here with you just a few months ago. If I think of anything, I’ll let you know.”

  Matty thought she saw a fleeting look of disappointment cross Vivi’s features, but if it was there at all, it was gone so quickly, she couldn’t be sure. They said good-bye and she walked Vivi to the door. She was still standing on the patio a few minutes after seeing Ian’s truck disappear down the drive when Dash’s truck pulled up.

  As if he sensed her need to avoid talking about Brad, he let her know he’d run into Ian and Vivi on his way up and heard the latest. After that, he said nothing more. They made a light lunch together, played with the dogs a bit, and then packed up to make the afternoon’s large-animal rounds.

  After visiting the third farm, Dash waited until she’d closed her door then turned to her and asked, “Okay, Matty, what’s on your mind?”

  She blinked at him. “Nothing?” She sounded about as convincing as she felt.

  “Bull. I know you well enough by now to know something is going on in that complex mind of yours. I know what Ian and Vivi told me, and I intentionally gave you some space to think about what they said, but there is something else bothering you and it’s been bothering you for a while now.”