Heal Me (Magnolia Series Book 2)

by Alexandra Page

  I fall, exploding into thousands of luscious splinters, wave after wave of pleasure engulfing me.

  Then he’s over me and, seconds later, inside me. Hard, hot, and stretching me perfectly. My throbbing walls pull him in and I tilt my hips to take him even deeper. Aftershocks rock through me spurring us to an intense pace.

  I love it when he first enters me, always letting out that deep satisfying groan just before he lets his need take over, fucking me hard and fast for a few strokes. Like he can’t help himself. It just feels too good to stop. He always has such a tight rein on himself, I love knowing my body can make him lose control for those few short moments.

  I’ve learned his body and its needs so well, I know with just a few squeezes and the right tilt of my hips I could make him come, but I don’t. Instead I revel in his pleasure, and mine, watching him above me as he slows down, his strokes now smooth and fluid, letting us feel every wonderful inch of one another.

  “Fuck, Ellie. You feel so damn good.”

  “You do too, baby.”

  The morning sun is streaming across us, throwing gold off his hair and glistening skin. It catches all the shades of blue and green in his eyes as he stares down at me. It’s hypnotic, like watching light dancing through a shallow sea. I could drown in them forever.

  His muscles and tendons glide and strain in rhythm with his movements. He’s a work of art begging to be touched. Begging me to feel every sculpted rise and fall under my hands. I do, rubbing up his hard stomach to his chest, ghosting my palms over his nipples.

  His eyes close and a small groan escapes his throat as he tilts his head back and thrusts forward. “Again.”

  He has a thing about me teasing them, it makes him come harder every time.

  “You’ve barely started, baby. You ready to come already?”

  He looks down, pupils wide, hips speeding up, his sexy mouth parted as he pants. “I was ready from that first taste of you.”

  God, how can one man be so fucking sexy?

  I can be sexy too, though.

  I slide my hand around his neck and pull him closer, but instead of going for his lips I have a taste of myself. I lick his chin, up the cleft then around it, slowly taking in my salty juices, which still cling to his skin and scruff.

  He groans and shudders. “Fuck, woman. Are you trying to kill me?”

  “Only a little,” I sigh, then drag my teeth over his chin and move up to suck his bottom lip between my own.

  His mouth attacks mine in a heated kiss and we both lose our senses until we need air.

  I kiss across his jaw and down his neck when he braces himself on one forearm above me. The other arm remains straight, holding him up at an angle, which gives my hand and lips access to one side of his perfect body. I take advantage, grabbing his ass and lightly biting and licking his nipple.

  His moans send a thrill through me, but I hold back. It’s his turn now.

  He tucks his face into my neck, curling his back, pressing his hips tighter against mine. His strokes becoming deeper and more insistent. I tilt my hips until he starts bottoming out then squeeze, letting my walls massage him in time with his strokes.

  “Oh. Fuck. Yes,” he pants, his hands grabbing my hair and a breast. Then it’s all incoherent groans and grunts as he comes hard, his hips slamming into mine over and over in short, hard bursts.

  A few more shudders and he collapses on top of me. He’s heavy as hell, but I couldn’t care less. I pepper kisses over his warm neck and shoulder while I play with his hair and he catches his breath. Every once in awhile I give him a good squeeze, which makes him groan.

  He finally comes back to himself, rolling off me and towards the back of the couch, taking me with him. He rubs me all over with his big hands while giving me sweet, lazy kisses and whispering how much he loves me.

  “Let’s take a nap before we go,” he finally sighs, snuggling into my breasts.

  “It’s barely ten o’clock, you goose, and I’m very sticky. Let me go clean up.” I kiss his pouty face and wiggle out of his arms. He whines, but lets me go.

  I hurry to the bathroom and pee, then wash up. I wet a washcloth for him and go back to the living room, laying it over his own sticky parts. He moans, reaching down to clean up, never opening his eyes.

  I find my panties and shorts and get dressed again. He’s snoring by the time I’m done. His shorts and underwear are still wrapped around his left leg and the washcloth is balled up in one relaxed hand.

  It’s probably the weirdest time, but seeing him like this – knocked out from making love to me – I’ve never loved him more. This week with him as been a balm to my heart – our talk, ring shopping, knowing he’s wonderful enough to take me on a vacation and go back with me to Copperhill….

  I adore him. Everything about him. He’s perfect. And I know he’s taking me home, but at the same time he isn’t.

  He’s my home now. Forever.

  TOURNIQUET

  ~

  Nik

  I glance over at Ellie. Her hand has gone slack in mine. She’s asleep.

  Not sure if that makes me feel better or not, but at least it’s an innocent reason for the silence. After six days of talking and laughter, the quiet has been deafening.

  We’ve had a great vacation, but now there’s nothing but road between us and Copperhill. No more stops or detours.

  With every mile the Corvette’s eaten up, the quieter she’s gotten.

  It makes my chest ache. I hate that fucking ache. Once this is over and we’re headed home, I hope I never have to feel it again. I know she needs to do this, but I wish to God she didn’t have to.

  She’d been doing fine since we’d left Savannah. Great actually. I don’t remember the last time I’ve enjoyed a road trip or vacation more and she’d been just as happy as me.

  On the way over to Destin, which took almost six hours – Savannah unfortunately is a long way from everywhere – we talked through how we were gonna start our lives together once we got back from Tennessee: where we were gonna live, what kind of wedding we wanted, if we each wanted to work or not.

  It took some convincing on both sides. I needed to know she was good staying where we were and didn’t need to start new, and she needed reassurance I wanted to live full-time at “The Marsh House,” as we dubbed it, instead of my townhouse. I knew where I wanted to be, but I was worried the Marsh House held too many memories for her. She assured me that there were now a lot more memories of me and us there than any from her past. She was more than fine with making it ours if I was.

  So, I helped her see that while I’ve always loved my house, I just couldn’t see it feeling like home anymore. Her place is where we fell in love. All of our memories as “us” are there, all of our firsts together. I didn’t just fall in love with her over the last few months, but the place too. It’s so peaceful. We’re secluded from all the busyness of town, there’s no honking horns, yelling people, or sirens to wake you up in the middle of the night. Just bugs, frogs, and the wind lulling you to sleep. It’s like an oasis to me. Close enough to zip into town and back, but far enough away you feel like you’re living a permanent vacation.

  And I didn’t tell her this, but I don’t want the memories of the other women I’ve had in my house invading on us for the rest of our lives. I know she swore they didn’t matter to her, but they still bother me. They’re something maybe Vicky and I should talk about. I’d like to put them in the past and keep them there.

  One of Ellie’s arguments was that living at the Marsh House makes my drive to work a bit longer, but I don’t care. It’s not so far that it matters. What’s another ten or fifteen minutes? Then she said we’d have to do some more updates – the master bath, the basement, addon a garage, and maybe replace the roof and windows – but those aren’t a problem either. If living in a construction zone gets too annoying. I’ll just leave my house off the market so we can stay there until the updates are finished. Six weeks, tops, should be all it takes to
get them done.

  It’s home now and I want it to stay home for good.

  I didn’t mention this either – I actually had to bite my tongue several times – but if she’s open to having kids, I’d much rather them grow up out there where they can run and play to their heart’s content than be stuck in the tiny yard at the town house.

  Having our own babies is one subject we’ve both avoided. I know without a doubt it’s something I want, but I’ll understand if she can’t go there again. I’m not sure if I lost a child I would be able to have another. I don’t know if I could stand to risk my heart. She says she doesn’t see me as a replacement for Josh and I believe her, but bringing a child into the world is a huge decision even under normal circumstances, and after Lucas I just don’t know. At some point the conversation will happen, but I’m just going to let her decide when that is.

  As for the wedding, we both agreed wholeheartedly on going small. Neither of us are flashy people and our circle of family and friends is small too. Leia is not gonna be happy with us, but it’s our wedding so she’ll just have to deal with it. We’ve decided to do it Forrest and Jenny style out in the yard overlooking the marshes.

  Ellie was gushing like I’d never seen her before talking about it. It was hard to keep up with her. Her dress, my suit, the flowers, decorations, the music, the food. I just sat back and listened to her, smiling at her enthusiasm.

  We’re thinking of waiting till the fall, maybe around my Thanksgiving break. We’d melt if we did it during the summer. The updates will be done on the house by then and there’ll be plenty of room for our tiny guest list. I think we came up with twenty-five people. It’ll be relaxed and intimate.

  She thinks it’ll be that much more special to us that way. We won’t have to be rushed, or stressed, put on a show for anyone; just us and our favorite people celebrating our love. I completely agree. I honestly don’t think you could get any better than that.

  We made it to Destin late Friday afternoon and had an amazing time. Our condo was right on the beach. We got up and watched the sunrise every morning, had some fabulous after-breakfast sex, then we’d hit the sand and waves for a few hours. I’d help her fix lunch, we’d rinse off in the shower and take a nap listening to the waves crashing. Two of the days we went back out and enjoyed the beach some more, the second day though we went out and played some putt-putt.

  She’s a competitive little thing. It didn’t take long for her to figure out I was letting her win. She wasn’t having that and threatened to whoop me with her club if I didn’t quit it. After that I still let her beat me, I just did a better job of faking it. I wanted to do go-carts after, but she was too scared to let me. She just knew I’d wreck and break my leg again.

  I didn’t make her worry. My long ass body doesn’t really fit in those tiny carts anyway. We took a ride in a huge ferris wheel instead.

  I took her out to eat every night. We even danced at one place. Both of us had a few drinks in us, our first cocktails together. She’s adorable when she’s buzzed.

  We walked hand in hand back to the condo that night. The restaurant had been just down the beach from us. It was pretty much deserted at that hour. I think I saw one other couple; at least, I think it was people. Hard to tell when it’s dark and you’re buzzing and all you can see is a shadowy blob moving around in the dunes.

  I’d never walked on the beach with a girl before. It didn’t take much for me to figure out why it was considered romantic though. She had on a sexy, little white sundress, her feet bare as she walked along the edge of the water. The moon was full, giving enough light that it almost made her look like she was glowing. Her eyes sparkled every time she would smile up at me, laughing at whatever stupid thing my half-drunk brain had let my mouth say.

  Seeing her, how beautiful she was, how light she looked, it felt like I was with an Ellie who had never known pain or loss. There were shadows falling over her face, but they weren’t her shadows. Her smile was that smile. The one I’d seen on Mom’s face all those years ago. I know it was dark and I was half-drunk, but it was that smile. I wasn’t seeing or imagining things. It was there and I felt completely drunk knowing I was the reason for it. She’d once again managed to make me even happier than I thought I could be.

  Half of me wanted to stop us right then and lay her down in the sand and worship her for hours. My other half won out. I had scooped her up and swung her around in circles until she was laughing so hard she begged me to stop. I probably shouldn’t have done it, because I made us both a little queasy and we almost fell in the water, but it was worth it to hear her laughter.

  I did wind up worshipping her for hours though, I just got us to the condo first.

  I saw that smile several more times while we were there. It even made it to Atlanta with us. But last night it left and the shadows came back, though she tried her best to hide them. She knew vacation was over and what today would bring.

  Memories. And not the good kind.

  I didn’t press her to talk or even try to coax a smile from her. She needed space, so I gave it to her, staying her silent support. It was the first night in weeks we didn’t make love before bed. I just held her, stroking her hair until she fell asleep on my chest while watching TV.

  She had a nightmare around four this morning. It was a bad one too. She screamed out for Lucas, scaring me awake from a deep sleep. It took a long time to wake her, at least it seemed like forever. Usually I just hold her while she calms down and she’ll eventually fall back to sleep. This time was different.

  To be honest, I’m still a bit shaken from it.

  She held onto me and cried for a while, then she started kissing me. At first, she kept them soft and gentle, but then she turned desperate. Her hands and lips were suddenly everywhere and she was begging me touch her as she tore at what little clothes we had on. I was in shock for a bit, as I’d never seen her that way and couldn’t help but wonder if I had made her feel as out of balance the times I had been so frantic to make the thoughts and feelings go away. I didn’t like knowing I probably did.

  But soon her mouth was erasing all my thoughts and I couldn’t help my body’s response. Once she had me throbbing for her, she climbed on top of me and fucked me harder than she ever had, screaming out my name. She was barely over one orgasm before she climbed off me onto her hands and knees and told me fuck her.

  I did, like a couple of wild animals until we were both exhausted. I’m sure the people sleeping in the rooms next to us had very unwelcome early wake up calls. She fell asleep sweaty and draped across me. I lay awake and stared at the ceiling until well after dawn.

  I was glad I was able to give her what she needed, but at the same time it left me feeling sort of empty. There hadn’t been any love involved and it reminded me too much of my manwhore days. I never wanted it to be that way with her. But I guess it’s unrealistic to think we would never have sex just for the sake of sex. We’re planning to spend the rest of our lives together, I’m sure in a lifetime of marriage there will be ups and downs in our sex life. I finally pushed it aside to think about later and fell asleep for a couple more hours.

  This morning didn’t have me anymore centered though. Other than a quick kiss and a “thanks for last night,” she acted as if it never happened. I wasn’t hurt, but it didn’t make me feel good either.

  But I’m determined to be here for her no matter what she needs. She always has been for me and I went off the deep end on her more than once.

  “In two point five miles, take exit fifty-four to state highway nine,” the creepy, disembodied GPS lady drones.

  I meant to turn that damn thing off.

  Ellie starts to stir, rubbing her face and stretching out the stiffness you can only get by sleeping in a car. It takes her a minute but she finally wakes up enough to look over at me.

  “Hey, beautiful. Sorry this thing woke you up.” I reach over and turn the volume off on it.

  “It’s okay,” she murmurs. Her smile is stil
l sleepy, but at least she has one. She stretches some more and lets out a huge yawn.

  Who knew those could be so adorable?

  After digging through her purse and finding her phone, she’s just staring at it, that bottom lip I love to suck on trapped between her teeth.

  I concentrate on getting us off at our exit and, since there’s no one behind us, I hold up at the top of the ramp. She’s still chewing on her lip.

  “Bird? You all right?” I ask softly, reaching over to brush her hair over her shoulder.

  She looks at me, her beautiful face scrunched up with worry. “Umm, Brandon texted me. He wants us to come to Betty’s. It’s the local restaurant. He and Anna are there.”

  “You don’t want to go right now?”

  “I do and then again I don’t. There’ll be so many people there. Ones I haven’t seen since…”

  Her chin is beginning to quiver. I move my hand from her hair to cup her cheek. “It’s okay. Why don’t you just tell him to meet us at the house?”

  “I don’t want to go there either,” she whispers, then dissolves into tears.

  Fuck! Way to go, dipshit.

  There’s no good way to hold her in this fucking car, so I put it in park and jump out, running around and opening her door. As soon as I squat down she launches herself at me. I wrap her in my arms and stand us up, then lean back against the side of the car. She tries to slide down my body, but I hold her tight.

  She cries pretty hard for a minute or two then quiets down to just sniffles. “I’m sorry, I’m being so stupid,” she mumbles into my neck

  “Hush, you are not. You’re about as far from stupid as you can get,” I whisper against her temple then give it a kiss. “I understand. If you want, I’ll turn this car south and we’ll go home. If you’re not ready, it’s okay. I can bring you back when you are. Just say the word.”