Heal Me (Magnolia Series Book 2)

by Alexandra Page

“You could’ve just asked me. I told you what he’s done for me. I told you he was a good man. For God’s sake! He risked his own life to save mine when he didn’t even know me! That should’ve been enough for you. I may have been in a bad place, but I wasn’t an idiot.”

  “Ellie, it’s okay. He was just doing his job. I understand and I don’t mind at all,” Nik says, scooting his chair closer to me and wrapping his arm around me, pulling me against his side.

  “Well, I do,” I fuss, pushing him off me.

  “I apologize, Ellie. For overstepping and upsetting you,” Mr. Hiram says, “but I gave my word when you hired me and I gave it to your family. Your best interest is number one for me. That said, you’re right. He is a good man.”

  “He’s the best man!”

  They both chuckle at my defensiveness, which only ruffles my feathers more. “You two better watch it.” I point at Mr. Hiram. “I can fire you.” Then I look at my smirking boyfriend. “And I can break up with you.”

  His face falls. “You wouldn’t.”

  Bless his heart, he honestly looks scared.

  I reach over and pop his leg. “You know I won’t”

  He’s like a balloon deflating as the relief rushes through him. Silly man.

  With him reassured, I turn on Mr. Hiram again. “Speaking of this good man. I need you to change my will. I want him to be the sole beneficiary.”

  “Ellie,” Nik breathes out beside me.

  I look at him, taking in his shocked face. He looks like he’s been trapped on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, bless him. I take his hand in mine, giving it a good squeeze. “It’s what I want, sweetie. I know you don’t need the money, but you’re going to be my husband soon. What’s mine is yours now. If I was a betting woman, I would say you have plans to do the same for me?”

  “Well, yeah. Of course. I do, but…”

  “But what? You’re my family now, Nik. I don’t have anyone else to leave it to.”

  We all go quiet for a lengthy spell.

  Mr. Hiram clears his throat. “Maybe it would be best to hold off until after the wedding, or at least until you’re engaged?” he suggests, staring at my empty ring finger.

  “No. There’s no need to wait. We’re here now. I want it done,” I tell him, my tone firm.

  “Sir?” Nik pipes in. “I see where you’re looking and know what you’re suggesting. You need to know her ring is waiting at the jeweler’s back home. It would already be on her finger if she didn’t want to be surprised. I have no intentions of leaving her side until I’m forced to by God Himself.”

  Mr. Hiram nods. “All right then, maybe a pre-nup? You are each wealthy in your own right.”

  “Mr. Hiram, I know you are doing your job, but you are really starting to rile me up. He’s is not a thief, and neither am I. We don’t need each other’s money. I do not want any damn pre-nup. Do you, Nik?”

  He was shaking his head, before I finished asking. “No, I don’t.”

  I look at Mr. Hiram again, daring him to piss me off further.

  His hands go up in surrender. “All right, all right. I know when I’ve been beat. I’ll get the paperwork started. I’ll need signatures from both of you. How long are you staying in town?”

  “How soon can you have them ready to sign?” I ask.

  “Well, I don’t have many cases pending right now, so…two or three days? I’ll work through the weekend.”

  “Thank you. We’ll be back Monday after lunch then?”

  “I’ll be here. Was there anything else?”

  “Yes, when the house sells, I want the money to go to Anna and Brandon, split fifty-fifty. If there’s any paperwork I need to sign for that, please have it ready too. And I don’t want them to know about till it’s done.”

  I can see his question rise up and nearly choke him, but he manages to keep it to himself. I love the man, but he really needs to remember he’s working for me.

  ~

  We left Mr. Hiram’s office after a quick goodbye – I was still about as cranky as a wet hen – then headed back across the state line, down to Blueridge. After grabbing a quick lunch at Sonic, we found the moving truck place and got a truck rented. They’re gonna drive it over to the house for us later in afternoon.

  Since we still have over an hour before we need to meet Patricia, we go to Ingles to pick up a few things we’ve run out of on our trip.

  Nik grabs a buggy from the cart corral, then grabs me and puts me in between him and back of it. “Put your feet down there and hang on,” he orders.

  “Nik, don’t be silly,” I protest with a laugh.

  “C’mon, don’t be a spoil sport. I wanna take you for a ride. Hop up.”

  His smile is one of those I’d do anything for, and even though I know he’s just trying to take my mind off things, I easily give in. I hop up on the buggy, leaning forward and balancing enough I can rub my ass against him in just the right spot. “How about after this one I let you take me for a different kind of ride?” I ask, looking back over my shoulder at him with my best sexy grin.

  He gives me a hungry look then leans over me, pressing his hips tight against my ass. “You can ride me anytime, any place,” he growls in my ear right before propelling me, himself, and the buggy across the parking lot like a rocket.

  I scream out in laughter then fright when he almost crashes us into an old lady shuffling out the sliding doors with her groceries.

  We quickly apologize, but can’t hold back our giggles when she mutters something about ‘crazy youngin’s actin’ like idiots’ as she totters off to her car.

  Deciding we better behave ourselves, we get serious about our shopping. We grab some more groceries since we’ll be here a few more days, and some toilet paper too. Eventually we make it to the personal aisle, which is the one we needed most. We’re almost out of shampoo and shave gel.

  There’s a couple, around our age, maybe, with a dark-haired baby boy bouncing in his daddy’s arms over on the baby side of the aisle. I steer Nik towards the shampoos just behind them.

  “Ellie? Is that you?”

  I spin around to see it’s one of my friends from elementary school. She’s a mama now, but I’d recognize her dark curls anytime.

  “Jennifer! My goodness, it’s been so long.”

  She steps over and gives me a hug that I return awkwardly. “Yeah, it has! How are you? What are you doing back here? I thought you moved off after…”

  “I did, I’m just back visiting. I live in Savannah now.” I turn and wave towards Nik. He’s got his sweet, friendly smile in place. “This is my fiancé, Nik. Nik, this is Jennifer. She was one of my friends in grade school.”

  Nik’s eyebrows rise a fraction at the word fiancé and his smile gets a hair brighter. It feels good to see him so happy and feels even better to say it out loud. I know it’s not official, but so what, it’s gonna be.

  “Nik Jensen. Nice to meet you,” he says reaching over to shake Jennifer’s hand.

  “You too. You picked a good one. Ellie comes from good people. This is my lucky charm, Bobby.” Jennifer says, scooting over a step to the good-looking guy beside her who’s smiling shyly now that he’s quit rolling his eyes at her nickname for him.

  He has beautiful green eyes to go with his chocolate hair and dusting of freckles. The baby has a mixture of his and Jennifer’s eyes – a striking pale blue rimmed in green. He has freckles across his plump, creamy cheekbones and tiny nose too.

  “Hi, Bobby. It’s nice to meet you. Y’all sure have a handsome little fella, by the way,” I tell them, reaching up to tickle the baby’s tight tummy. I feel his giggles in my own stomach.

  “Aww, thank you. That’s our little Jake. He’ll be a year old in just over a month,” Jennifer says proudly, in that way only new mamas can.

  The baby lets out an effervescent giggle, his eyes focused behind me. I turn and see Nik making silly faces at him, not caring a bit that he’s acting like a nut in front of strangers. Little Jake squeals, deciding he want
s to visit this funny new person. He stretches out his chubby little arms towards Nik, grunting like a pig for him to take him.

  Nik looks towards Bobby and Jennifer, his eyebrows raised in question. “Is it okay?”

  “Sure!” they chime in unison, Bobby passing him right over. “The kid doesn’t know a stranger. He’ll just about go to anybody. But for some reason he likes the tall guys best,” Bobby says.

  “You can see better from way up here can’t ya, buddy?” Nik smiles at him, goosing him under his arms. Little Jake scrunches up and one of those raspy chuckles from deep in his belly comes out, making Nik let out a laugh of his own.

  Something warm and intense swells up inside me, from my stomach up into my chest and then it floods my sinuses. My eyes burn and my throat’s tight. I may have even just gasped, but there’s no pain, no sadness, only a stunning realization. One I hadn’t let see the light of day, one I didn’t dare hope for. One I was too afraid to put words to.

  I want a baby.

  Nik’s baby.

  I want to see him holding, smiling at, and playing with a tiny little blue-eyed blond baby who smiles back at his daddy like he could give him the world.

  A baby of our own.

  My heart feels like it’s attached to a hundred balloons and they’re lifting it up and out of my ribs and floating away with it.

  Nik looks over at me, smiling bigger than I’ve ever seen him, so happy with that baby in his arms. I can’t do anything but smile right back at them.

  ~

  The rest of yesterday went fairly smooth. Patricia met us back at the house that afternoon and after showing her through it, we agreed on a contract. She took pictures inside and out and then walked the property. She seemed to think she could sell it quickly.

  I nodded and agreed with everything she said, only half listening to her. I haven’t been able to think of much else but having babies with Nik ever since our shopping trip. It’s actually been a nice distraction from the grief and memories I’ve been battling.

  He’s helped me pack all day today. I’ve tried to be quick and efficient, not letting myself get caught up in any more memories. Thankfully, I had already gone through Josh’s things before going to Savannah and I had a few boxes of mama’s, daddy’s, and Emily’s things upstairs. Aunt Maggie’s too. I added some photos and a few dishes of hers and Josh had some things of his mama and daddy’s so those are coming too. I can’t just leave them behind.

  By four, we had gone through almost the whole house. After loading Aunt Maggie’s sewing machine in the truck, Nik made me take a break, so I showered then started making us a snack.

  He’s still packing, though, in the room I can’t go in. I tried, just like I did dozens of times before. It didn’t work. He couldn’t stand watching me attempt to fight off attack after attack and finally begged me to let him do it.

  I’ve never felt so grateful and cowardly all at once.

  Vicky always told me not to push before I was ready, but to never stop trying either. I did try so I guess I get points for that at least.

  So here I am, trying and failing to fix cheese and crackers while my insides vibrate from the constant push and pull of my emotions. I need to be in there talking to him about this new and sudden baby craze I’ve been struck with.

  But I’m too scared.

  Of that room and him.

  He’s never mentioned kids, not once since I met him. What if he hates them?

  But that smile on his face yesterday was about as far from hate as you could get. He seemed as happy as could be holding that little boy. Someone who hates kids would never act like that.

  Right?

  Maybe he’s afraid too?

  Maybe he thinks I don’t want any, so he’s not going to mention it.

  But isn’t that something we should really talk about before getting married?

  It’s important. He needs to know how I feel, and I need the same from him. We have to talk about it.

  I could go right now. I can. I have too. For him, for me, and for Lucas. I have to be strong. It’s time to bite the bullet and be a steel magnolia again.

  I grab the tool bag out from under the sink – the one Josh gave me our first Christmas – and head down the hall. I find him standing at the dresser, his back to me. He’s taking Lucas’ outfits from the drawers and packing them. They look so small in his big hands. Some he holds up and looks at for a moment before carefully folding them and putting them in the container, treating them like precious treasures.

  I don’t think there are words to describe the emotions swirling through me at the sight of him in this room. The memories held in here are shrouded with the greatest grief I’ve ever known, grief I barely survived and know will never really leave me. But I feel a hope so bright I can barely contain it as I look at him and imagine him in another nursery, looking at the tiny clothes of another child our child, our children.

  Every other tear that slips down my cheek is filled with sorrow for what I lost, the rest with the promise of what can be.

  I guess my sniffle startles him because he jumps a bit, then spins around. Laying Lucas’ shirt on the dresser he swallows up the ground between us in three steps of his long legs. I’m already sobbing by the time he wraps his arms around me.

  The tool bag drops to the floor with loud clangs and a thump when I cling to him. He picks me up until I wrap my legs around his waist then starts out the door.

  “No. Please…I need to…stay,” I beg him.

  He holds me tighter, pressing his cheek against my hair. “Okay,” he whispers. Even through my cries, I hear his voice crack.

  I lose myself for a while in my grief and turmoil. It’s not until I feel slow steady rocking that I realize he’s sat us down in the recliner by the crib. His big hands are rubbing my back as I work to calm my breathing to some semblance of normal.

  “He loved me to rock him,” I whisper sometime later. “I did, every night. In this chair. For some reason, he wouldn’t let Josh.”

  “Mom was always better to cuddle with than dad,” he whispers back after I’m silent for awhile. His hands move from my back up into my hair.

  I stay laying against his chest, staring at the crib my son slept in.

  “I want to take it with us.”

  “The chair? There’s plenty of room. I can load it up tonight if you want.”

  “We can take the chair, but I meant the crib.”

  His lips press against the back of my head. “We’ll take both.”

  “Nik?”

  “Mmmm?”

  “Do you want to be a dad someday?”

  His hands and the chair stop their movement.

  I sit up and easily see the distress in his eyes. He is afraid.

  “Please. Talk to me. I need to know.”

  “Right now? Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” He takes a deep shaky breath and lets it out, sucking on his bottom lip. “Before you, no, I never even thought about it except to make sure it didn’t happen. Now? With you? Yes, I think I’d love to be a dad.”

  Despite how upset I was only minutes ago, my heart soars.

  He squeezes my hands, his eyes begging me to listen. “But only if you want the same, Bird. I swear to you, I’ll be happy till my dying day, even if it’s never more than just the two of us.”

  I wrap my arms back around his neck and hug him out of joy this time, instead of pain. “I love you so much, Nik.”

  “I love you too, beautiful.”

  I sit up again. “Was it Jake that changed your mind?”

  He smiles a little, but shakes his head. “No. He was great though, wasn’t he?”

  “Yeah, he was.”

  “I honestly couldn’t tell you what changed my mind about it. I think it just came with loving you. You’ve opened my mind up to actually imagining a future. Before I just lived one day at a time. But, having been there, I can appreciate how wonderful my life is now, you know?”

  �
��I know exactly what you mean. So…you’d be okay with it…if I wanted to have a baby then? Like soon-ish?”

  He cups my face, nearly swallowing it up with his big hands, a smile stretching across his. “I would be more than okay with it, Bird. I would love to make babies with you. And I’m good with soon-ish too,” he says with a wink, then kisses me.

  The crib was just as hard to take apart as I remember it being to put together. Neither of us minded though.

  ~

  The chains on the porch swing creak above me, cutting through the quiet afternoon as I slowly rock forward and back. I watch Nik put the last of our bags in the Corvette, then he gently closes the hatch. It’s after three, but we’re both ready to head south.

  We finished packing the truck a couple of hours ago. The driver will leave out first thing tomorrow with it. He’s under strict orders to be especially careful with the Harley he’ll be pulling, even though it’s strapped down tight and covered tighter. Nik got insurance just to be safe.

  Everything is squared away with Patricia; she’ll keep me posted on any potential buyers. I’ve been through every room, one last time, committing them to memory, not that I’ll ever forget an inch of it. So much of my life was spent in this house, lived inside its old walls. But it’s time to start a new life. I have another place to call home now.

  Mr. Hiram showed up this morning with the papers he needed signed. He apologized again, profusely, and I easily forgave him, giving my own apologies. After some time to think, I know he was just looking out for me, like my family would have. Once the papers were signed, he gave me a big hug goodbye. I didn’t keep my tears at bay that time. I swore I saw a few in his eyes as he shook Nik’s hand and asked him to take care of me.

  I’m not sure he’ll be up to coming to the wedding, but I’ll be sending him an invitation anyway. I don’t like thinking that might be the last time I’ll ever see him.

  We met Anna and Brandon at Betty’s again last night. They both had work and classes today. I was already wrung out from my mini emotional breakdown a few hours before so it was extra tough telling them bye, but I’ll see them soon. They both promised to be at the wedding with bells on. They’re planning on spending the week before with us too. I have a feeling they’ll both get on with Leia like gangbusters.