Broken Pieces (Riverdale #2)
Page 9
“Thank you,” He whispered gruffly.
She squeezed his hand and watched as he looked back at his daughter once more. He blew her a kiss even though she wasn’t looking at him. His daughter was about to get the most amazing guardian angel, who would undoubtedly always watch out for her. His lip quivered, but the tears didn’t fall. With Leah’s hand firmly locked in his, he took the first step, pushing his feet to join his brother, as he found the end of his journey.
* * * * * *
Nick stood a few steps behind Joe Lanza, watching him as he lit a candle for his son. The hospital chapel was dark except for the candles that illuminated the sacred room. Joe made the sign of the cross as he finished lighting the candle. Nick took a step back, his eyes followed Joe as he knelt before the altar and stared up at the crucifix that hung in front of him.
Nick bit the inside of his cheek, and watched the man he thought of as a father, lose himself; for the first time in all the years he knew him. Joe clasped his hands together in prayer and looked over his shoulder towards Nick. “Do you believe in God?” Joe asked. His voice was raspy and full of emotion.
Nick cleared his throat, finding his voice was just as full of emotion as Joe’s. “Somewhat, its times like this I ask myself why he does the things he does.”
“Say a prayer with me.” Joe said and turned back around and bowed his head. Nick took a deep breath and looked up at the crucifix. He knelt beside Joe, and made the sign of the cross. He bowed his head, just as Joe had.
“Our father, who art in heaven…” They began in unison and prayed to the Lord to take Jake’s soul.
* * * * * *
Cara lay nestled in the crook of Jake’s arm, her head resting on his chest. She counted the beats of his heart, memorizing the rhythm. The pace began to slow, and she knew this by her own ear, and not because her eyes were on the machine. She counted the seconds between heartbeats. She felt the rise and fall of his chest become more of a struggle. Tears shrieked her face, soaking his hospital gown. She could feel him slipping away from her. She closed her eyes and tried to will, him back to her. She begged her heavenly father, for mercy. Take her instead of him. If he had to go she wanted to go with him.
I sit at your bedside
Holding your hand in mine
You try to be so strong for me
But I feel you slipping away
You have always been my hero
I can’t let you go… because
Heroes don’t die
Deb sat beside Jake’s bed, holding onto her son’s hand. She closed her eyes and remembered the day of his birth. If she tried hard enough, she could still feel the little blue bundle snuggled into her arms. Where had the years gone? Where was the boy who tugged on her leg, begging his mom to read him a bedtime story? She closed her eyes and she remembered the day she realized her little boy had become a man. The day he decided he was going to take a wife. She opened her eyes and stared at her son. No mother should have to bury her child. No mother should hold the hand of her son when he leaves the Earth.
The door opened and Sam and Luke walked into the room, each of them holding one of their father’s hands. Nick and Leah followed them, closing the door softly behind them. The brother and sister walked their father to their mother’s side. Joe placed his palm over his wife’s shoulder, bending down he joined his hand to Deb’s. Together they held their son’s hand, staring at the man they created and raised together.
Like a light in my storm
You’ve guided me
You have been everything to me
Tell me how I live without you
Tell me how to go on
Without your smile
Sam and Luke stood at the foot of Jake’s bed, their eyes set on their brother’s face. The three of them had been raised to be as close as any three siblings could ever be. The love they shared for one another, unconditional and everlasting. No matter what obstacles came their way through life, the three of them had always stuck together. The three musketeers… only now there would only be two. No one had prepared them for that. Sam cried out, unable to stop herself and Luke wrapped his arms around her, tucking her head under his chin, they cried together, they only had each other now.
Jake’s eyes flew open, and his body constricted, causing Cara to raise her head in fear. Her eyes stared into his. They were halfway open, and he struggled to speak. Cara blinked away the tears, so her eyes could focus clearly on his beautiful face. Slowly, her hands slipped the oxygen mask down, allowing him to speak the words he desperately wanted to share.
I am selfish, I want more time with you
I know you have to go
You can’t take me with you
But you said you’d never leave me behind
I can’t let you go…. because
Heroes don’t die
“I’m going to be late to the church….” He gasped, filling his lungs with the air he ached for. His vision blurred, and he blinked, trying to clear his sight, to make out the beautiful woman before him. He needed to see his bride, his vision in white. He squinted and slowly the blurred lines cleared, and he saw her. His beautiful Cara, her hazel eyes shining back at him. A smile spread across his lips. “My beautiful,” he whispered before closing his eyes.
I feel your fight draining so…
Close your eyes now, my love
Let me be your hero
Let me take away your pain
I can’t let you go…. because
Heroes don’t die
Cara closed her eyes and pressed her lips softly against his. Her hands shook as they cupped his face. “I’ll love you forever.” She whispered against his lips. Slowly she pulled back, laying her hands on his chest. Her eyes moved to her hands as they rose and fell with his chest. Then she watched his chest fall for the final time. The beat of his heart played its final cord. She lifted her head and stared at the love of her life… He was gone.
“No… Oh God, no…” She sobbed and took his lifeless body in her arms, cradling him against her chest as the heart monitor sounded a slow steady beep.
Chapter Nine
Leah walked over to the machines that alerted Jake’s family that his life was over, and quietly silenced them. She didn’t know what else to do, she hadn’t known this family long, but she did know they all were suffering at that very moment. She watched Cara, nervously. The woman was falling apart, clutching her deceased fiancée in her arms. She rocked him back and forth as if he was a newborn. Someone had to call a time of death and disconnect him from the machines. Hoping not to disturb anyone, Leah walked towards Jake’s bedside, and pressed the alert button, signaling for a doctor. Cara turned around abruptly and shielded Jake in her arms.
“What’re you doing?” She spat at Leah. “You’re not taking him from me!”
Leah’s eyes widened, “I’m not… I want to make him more comfortable.” She faltered as she eyed Jake’s lifeless body that was still hooked up to monitors. His oxygen mask still hung around his neck. It was standard protocol, to remove all of that from the deceased, then give the family a moment to say their goodbyes before ultimately they brought Jake to the morgue.
“He’s dead! You can’t make him any more comfortable.” Cara shouted through her sobs.
“I’m sorry.” Leah whispered and took another retreating step backwards, bumping into the heart monitor that now showed a black screen. She swallowed and turned her head to look at Luke. She wasn’t expecting him to ride to her rescue, she knew he was grieving, but she expected him to shake some sense into Cara. He didn’t even look at her, instead, she watched as he held his sister. Samantha clutched his shirt as she wept on his shoulder. Luke seemed a million miles away as he petted Sam’s head absent-mindedly. His eyes were focused directly on Jake and Cara.
“I can’t live without you…” Cara whispered as she continued to rock Jake in her arms. She leaned down and showered his face with soft fleeting kisses.
Leah watched as a light flickered
in Luke’s dull eyes. He looked over his shoulder towards Nick, who was standing against the wall. Nick’s eyes met his and Luke’s eyes fell upon Sam.
Nick instantly pushed himself off the wall and walked beside his friend. Leah marveled at the friendship the two of them shared. It was as if there was some unspoken promise that they were always there for one another. Just one look and Nick knew exactly what Luke needed. Nick wrapped his arms around Sam, as Luke detangled himself from her stepping aside. The transition from one man’s embrace to another was so smooth, that Leah wondered if Sam even felt the difference.
Joe took his wife in his arms and started towards the door. The parents couldn’t handle another moment of seeing their son like that. Joe stopped in front of Luke. “I have to get your mother out of here.” He said as Deb wept uncontrollably in his arms. He looked towards the hospital bed. His lip trembled at the sight of Cara and Jake. He shook his head and looked back at his only living son. “Make sure you look after her.”
Luke nodded at his father. His responses were on auto-pilot, or so it appeared. He couldn’t even cry anymore, when everyone else couldn’t control their tears. The door opened and as the grief stricken parents exited the doctor entered. He offered his condolences to the parents, before he turned to witness Cara and her death grip on Jake.
Dr. Capernick turned his gaze towards Leah, his eyes questioning her, as if to ask her how they should proceed. She shook her head, she had no idea. Nick was the one who broke the silence, talking to no one other than Sam.
“Sam… baby, I’m going to take you home.” Nick said softly as he pulled back slightly. He brushed her damp hair, from the tears she shed, away from her face. She looked up at him and shook her head.
“But…” She sniffled and looked over her shoulder at her brother. There was nothing left for her to do. There was nothing left to say. She wouldn’t be able to hear his laugh again, or ever hear him tease her mercilessly. The color was starting to drain from his face, and all of a sudden she didn’t want to stay. She didn’t want the memories of him dead to overshadow the beautiful ones of him alive and well. She turned around and looked back at Nick, she nodded slightly.
“Okay.” She agreed and when he offered her his hand, she took it without hesitation. He escorted her towards the door and Nick looked over towards Luke.
“Call me if you need me.” Nick said adamantly and Luke simply nodded in return.
Once Nick and Sam left the room, Luke turned around and his eyes met Leah’s for the first time.
“Can you please get Ava from daycare and take her home for me?” He asked, his voice was barely above a whisper. His eyes so intently stared into hers. She looked at him for a moment, wondering what exactly he was thought he would be able to do. Did he really think he’d be able to reign in Cara? Leah glanced over at Cara, who was now laying down with Jake in her arms. Her eyes were open as she studied his face. She turned her eyes back to Luke’s.
“Sure.” She said, simply.
“Thank you.” He murmured, and stood still, waiting for her to make a move to go get his daughter. She realized he didn’t want an audience when he handled Cara. Leah took her cue and Dr. Capernick watched as she disappeared out of the hospital room. The doctor took a step towards Luke, and spoke very quietly, trying not to disturb Cara.
“We have to remove Jake from the machines…” He said sympathetically. Luke exhaled sharply, but nodded understandingly. “I’ll give you a few minutes, and then I’ll come back.” Luke didn’t say a word he only nodded his head again. “I’m so sorry for your loss, son.” Dr. Capernick said before leaving Luke alone with Cara and his brother.
Luke stood at the edge of the bed, unsure of how to proceed. He ran his fingers through his hair roughly and slowly felt his chest deflate as he let out a harsh breath.
“Cara?” he whispered as he moved closer towards her, reaching out and placing his hand on top of her arm.
“Isn’t he beautiful?” She asked as she smiled adoringly at Jake. “He looks so peaceful.” She said sadly.
“He’s at peace now.” Luke offered and rubbed her arm softly assuring her that Jake in fact was at peace. He watched as his words went unnoticed and she simply ran her finger along the line of his jaw, tracing it with her fingertip. Luke wondered if she had even heard him.
“Cara, the doctor has to take him off the machines.” Luke said softly, trying desperately to get through to her.
“I’m not leaving him.” She said determination evident in her otherwise broken voice.
“Jake would want you to go home, Cara.” Luke whispered, and then she turned to him, her stormy hazel eyes changing to a shade of green as she glared at Luke.
“Jake is my home.” She said staring at Luke as if he was the devil and he had come to take Jake’s soul.
Luke shook his head and reached for her hand, but she flinched, never taking her eyes off of his. “Jake isn’t your home, he’s the man you love. There’s a difference. You need to trust me, Cara. I know it appears as if you’ve lost the only person in your life but you’re not alone. You’ll never be alone, I promise.”
“You have absolutely no idea how I feel.” The tears slide down her angry face. “Don’t make promises to me that you can’t keep just because you think it’s what I want to hear.”
Luke gave her a long look, and shook his head. “I don’t make promises that I don’t keep.” He said in a raspy voice.
Cara held his gaze for a moment, noticing his own grief reflected in his eyes. She looked away, before her eyes fell upon Jake again. She stared at him, knowing he was gone, knowing he’d never open his eyes and look at her again. He’d never utter another word to her. Her whole life had revolved around this man since she was fifteen years old. How would she ever go on without him, when he was all she’d ever known?
Luke took a cautious step further towards her. Very softly, he spoke, trying to soothe her as if she was a small child. “Cara, you have to let him go now.”
She shook her head robustly, she didn’t want to. She knew she had too, though. She couldn’t hold onto him forever. This would be the last time she held him in her arms. She didn’t know how to pull away, facing that hard truth, that she’d never feel him against her again.
The door opened and Dr. Capernick stepped inside. Beside him was an orderly, who would take Jake downstairs. Luke looked at the pair of men that stood off to the side, waiting for him to deal with Cara. He took a deep breath, and channeled his brother’s spirit, begging for the strength he would need to take care of his precious Cara.
In one fluid motion Luke stepped to the bed, and pushed down the side railing. He slipped one arm firmly around Cara’s waist, and started to pry her hands off Jake with his other hand. She smacked at his hands and tried to break free of the hold he had on her waist.
“No, Luke! Get off of me!!” She begged, fighting him with everything she had left in her. He slid his other arm around her, and Jake’s body fell down onto the bed. She clenched her fists and beat Luke’s chest and shoulders. “Get off of me!! Jake…” She wailed as Luke started for the door. Dr. Capernick and his orderly held their heads, as Luke carried Cara out of Jake’s hospital room.
She didn’t know when her body gave up the fight, but as Luke carried her down the hospital corridor, she stopped pounding her fists against him. Instead, her arms snaked around his neck and she buried her face in his neck, crying quietly in Luke’s strong arms.
* * * * * *
Nick walked Sam up the walkway to her apartment. Her tears had dried, but she felt numb, like a light inside her had gone out. When she reached her door, she dug into her purse for her keys.
“I’m going to go get your suitcase out of the truck. I’ll be right back.” Nick said softly, reminding her of the whirlwind of a weekend. How had they gone from spending a beautiful day on the boardwalk, thinking Jake would be okay, to this? It was funny how life worked. She found the key and fitted it into the lock, turning it slightly. When she pu
shed the door open and stepped inside reaching for the light switch. She dropped her purse onto the couch, and kicked off her sandals as Nick walked through the front door, her suitcase in his hand.
She turned around and watched as he placed it down beside the door. He lifted his head, his eyes finding hers as he shoved his hands into his front pockets. They looked at one another for a moment, both of them clearly unsure what to say to the other. Sam knew that Nick was aching too, feeling the same lose she was. They both had lost a man they called a brother. He was just able to mask his grief better, or at least be strong enough to take care of her while she grieved her brother.
“Do you need anything?” Nick asked, breaking the silence between them.
Sam assessed him. He stood with his back straight as a rod. His shoulders were so broad they nearly took up the frame of her doorway. His eyes narrowed as he watched her tongue sneak out and run along her bottom lip. “Nick?”
“Yeah?” He said hoarsely, lifting his eyes from her lips back to her baby blues.
“Don’t go.” She whispered, before she held her breath and waited for his response.
Nick pulled his hands out of his pockets and as if he was contemplating her request, he ran his knuckles along the line of his jaw. She watched him anxiously and she was abruptly aware that at the moment all she wanted was for Nick to erase everything from her mind. She didn’t want to think, she just wanted to feel something other than anguish she had been feeling since they left the hospital. He turned around and she felt her heart plummet, how many times would this man disappoint her? How many times would she allow him to? Nick splayed his palm over the door, and pushed it closed.