Nellie smiled at Amos. “Will you help show me around until your father gets back?”
“Like I’m the boss?”
Nellie grinned. She supposed it was wrong to capitalize on the fact that Luke had told her Amos resented being bossed around by his older sister. But at least it was a way for Nellie to relate to the boy.
“In a manner, I suppose. We all know that the real boss is your father. And though you’re supposed to listen to me, I could use some help. Does that sound good enough to you?”
Amos nodded slowly. “You aren’t gonna make me take a bath, are you?”
“Does your father make you take baths?”
“Sometimes,” Amos mumbled.
Nellie ruffled the little boy’s hair, noting that there didn’t appear to be any lice or other creatures of concern, though it could use a good washing. “I’ll tell you what,” she said. “I do think it’s important for people to take baths. And it sounds like your father agrees. But I won’t make you take a bath until we’ve all discussed it as a family and determined what night bath night is.”
“Saturday,” Amos said, sounding disappointed that he wasn’t going to get out of taking a bath, but as he smiled at her, she realized he was also probably relieved that she wasn’t going to insist on baths more often.
Though Nellie probably would make changes to the family routine as time went on, for now, her plan was to do her best to keep them all on a comfortable schedule. As they seemed ready to make changes, Nellie would discuss them with Luke, seeking his advice. After all, they were partners. Or would be in time, once they got more comfortable with each other.
Mrs. Fitzgerald tucked her arm into Nellie’s free arm. “I’ll be honest. I tried talking Luke out of this foolish plan. But now that you’ve come, and I see that you have the family’s best interests at heart, I think this will work out very well. Luke is too proud to ask for help, too proud to accept it.” With a grin, Mrs. Fitzgerald gave her a squeeze. “But perhaps a wife is exactly what he needs. Someone to help him, without it feeling like an injury to his pride.”
Clearly this other woman understood Nellie’s husband very well. And based on Mrs. Fitzgerald’s warm welcome, Nellie’s nervousness at the family’s reactions to her was just silly jitters. She was meant to be here, with this family, and someday they’d find their way together.
Nellie just hoped that despite the rocky start, at least with Ruby, everything would turn out all right. Not that Nellie had expected a warm reception, but as she thought about the hatred in the little girl’s eyes, the anger, the fear, Nellie knew that the victories she had so far secured were very small compared to the battles that lay ahead.
* * *
Luke had been searching for the better part of an hour, and he still hadn’t found Ruby. He’d known that Ruby especially would not immediately welcome Nellie with open arms. But to be so hateful? To run? This was not the daughter he knew and loved.
Had Luke made a mistake in marrying Nellie so quickly?
He thought it best to present them with the deed already done. That way, they would have to accept it. But perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps he should have given them more time to get used to the idea. Though he’d been telling them for weeks that he was seeking a wife, it still clearly hadn’t been enough time.
Luke rounded the corner to the livery. Ruby often came here to pet the horses because they could not afford one of their own. Living in town, within walking distance to everything they needed, it seemed like a wasteful expense. But his daughter dearly loved horses.
“Hello, Wes,” Luke said to the proprietor as he entered the stable. “You haven’t seen my daughter, have you?”
Wes nodded but put his finger to his lips. “I hear you brought yourself home a wife.”
His daughter was here. Luke’s shoulders relaxed slightly as he felt his breathing return to normal. And Ruby had at least confided in someone about her pain.
“I did. I’ll always love Diana, and we all miss her deeply, but our house needs a woman’s touch. I know Ruby says she doesn’t mind taking care of the others and the house, but I want more for her. I want her to have the chance to go outside and play with her friends the way her brother does. I want her to go to school and not make up ridiculous excuses about why she needs to stay home for her siblings. And though I know everyone is happy to watch Maeve while I work, I will feel better knowing there is a woman dedicated to her care who is always with her and will watch over her the way I would.”
Wes nodded slowly. “And love? Have you thought of that?”
It was the same question Mrs. Heatherington had asked. Luke nodded slowly, remembering Nellie’s wisdom. “There are all kinds of love. Just because it doesn’t look like what Diana and I shared doesn’t mean Nellie and I cannot care for each other in different ways. We are of the same mind, Nellie and I, and I believe we will get on quite well together. She is a very good woman, and I would not trust my children with her otherwise.”
“Many a man has married for less,” Wes said. “I wish you all the best. Be gentle with Ruby. She doesn’t understand the ways of the adults. And she’s angry that you would forsake her mother so easily.”
Luke’s throat tightened. If only he’d had another choice. But he didn’t, not if he wanted Ruby to have any kind of decent life. How was he supposed to get his daughter to understand that, when she believed it was her duty to take on her mother’s responsibilities?
“I have not forsaken Diana. Some days, I wonder how I can even breathe without her by my side. But she is not here, and I am, so I must make the best decisions I can without her. I believe that Diana would not want our children to muddle through the way they have been.”
“You didn’t even ask us,” Ruby said, coming around from behind the counter. “We didn’t want a new mother. We told you not to look for a new wife. I took all those ads you tried to send and burned them in the fire so no one would come. Why didn’t you give up?”
At least now Luke knew why no one had ever answered his ads. “What you did was wrong,” he said. “You can’t meddle with someone’s personal correspondence. If you had concerns about my search for a bride, then you should have discussed them with me.”
Tears streamed down Ruby’s face, leaving little trails in the dust on her cheeks. She must have accumulated it while hiding in the horse stalls. “I did! I told you we didn’t need a mother. I was doing fine on my own. I am nearly eleven years old, almost a grown woman. I can do all the things a mother can do.”
Luke sighed. His daughter was partially right. But Ruby didn’t understand that a child needed more in a mother than she could provide.
“I know you can do everything around the house,” Luke said. “But I want you to have a better life than that. I know you don’t like to hear it, but can you try to understand that I only have your best interests at heart?”
Tears filled her eyes again. “But you didn’t even let us help you pick her out.”
“Well, maybe if you hadn’t burned all my letters, we could’ve read the responses as a family, and I would’ve allowed you to share your thoughts. But you thought you knew better than your father, and you took matters into your own hands. You don’t have the knowledge and experience that I do. That Nellie does. But we can help you, if you let us.”
His daughter’s face softened, and Luke hoped it was a sign that she was finally beginning to see reason.
Luke held his arms out to her, but Ruby didn’t budge. She stood there, tears rolling down her cheeks, sadness in her eyes. His daughter’s heart was breaking, and as much as Luke wanted to help, there wasn’t anything he could do. Nothing would bring her mother back.
“But we don’t need her help. We’re doing just fine.”
Luke took a step closer to his daughter. “Didn’t you just say that it was wrong to lie?”
&nbs
p; “We are!” Ruby’s voice wavered. “Don’t you always say that as long as we have each other, we have enough?”
“And we do. But we also need help. I know you think you can do it all, but you’re not ready yet.” Luke held his hand out to his daughter again. “I need you to trust me. Have I ever done anything to hurt you?”
Ruby started to shake her head no, but then she nodded. “Yes. You married that woman without telling us.”
As if a grown man needed permission to take a wife. Luke sighed. “Other than that? Have I ever done anything else to hurt you?”
“No.” Ruby sniffled loudly, then wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve.
“Then let’s focus on that. Remember all the times that I’ve looked out for you. I’m still doing the very best I can to give you and your siblings a good life. Nellie has promised to do the same. I’m just asking you to give it a chance.”
Ruby took a step closer to him, coming almost to his arms, but still out of reach. “What if she is not so nice after all?”
Taking a deep breath, Luke considered this. What if Nellie wasn’t good for his children? Luke shook his head. Of course she would be.
“We’ll find a way to work it out,” he said.
“But what if she’s really terrible? Will you send her away?”
Luke couldn’t imagine making such a decision because he couldn’t imagine Nellie doing anything so bad. But the hopeful look in his daughter’s eyes made him realize that if she thought there was a chance to get rid of Nellie, she would try. It was a sad thing to acknowledge about one’s own daughter, but until Ruby had confessed that she’d burned his letters, he would have never believed her capable of such a thing. Which meant Nellie was in for a far more difficult time than Luke would have imagined.
“I understand what you’re trying to say,” Luke said slowly. “But that is a decision and a discussion best left to adults. Nellie is here to stay. When you marry someone, you make the promise to stay married until death parts you. I made that promise to Nellie.”
Wes stepped around the counter and put his arm around Ruby. It pained Luke to see someone doing for his daughter what he wished he could do himself. But at least Ruby had someone she felt was on her side.
“It’s hard losing a parent,” Wes said. “But your father’s right—nothing’s going to bring your mother back. As hard as it is, we have to find a way to keep living the best we can without them. This Nellie woman, I know she’s not your mother. But I know your father and I trust his judgment. All he ever thinks about is what’s best for you and your brother and sister. If he thinks Nellie will do right by you, I believe him.”
Wes squatted so he was eye to eye with Ruby. “But if you run into trouble, you come see me, and I’ll do what I can to help.”
The glower didn’t leave Ruby’s face. “I didn’t ask for her to come. I don’t want her here.”
Wes nodded thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. “But she’s here. And a lady of the house makes everyone feel welcome, whether they are wanted, needed or asked for. Even the most unwelcome guest deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ruby asked, her voice quivering.
Wes looked at her tenderly. “I think you know what I mean. You haven’t even given Nellie a chance. And I’m sure she is feeling pretty terrible right about now.”
“Doesn’t it matter that I’m feeling pretty terrible?”
The righteous indignance on his daughter’s face made Luke want to smile. But that probably wouldn’t serve any good purpose.
“Of course it does,” Luke said, joining Wes in front of Ruby. “And I truly am sorry that I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. But what’s done is done, and the best we can do is move forward with grace. And it would mean a lot to me, to our family, if you would at least try.”
Ruby nodded, sniffed some more and once again wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. Then she squared her shoulders and looked at her father.
“I won’t call her mama. Or mother.”
They hadn’t discussed what the children were to call Nellie, and though Luke promised her that they would be a team, he hoped she would understand him making this decision without her.
“You can call her Nellie if you like.”
Ruby nodded. “I don’t want her acting like a mother to me. No kissing, no hugging, no tucking me in at night. I will not treat her like a mother. I will not forget my mother, and nothing you say or do will make me.”
Tears stung the backs of Luke’s eyes at his daughter’s insistence on clinging to her mother. He knew the children missed her, but it hadn’t occurred to him that bringing Nellie in would make them think that he wanted to deny their memories of her.
“I’m glad,” he said. “I wouldn’t ask that of you. Nor would Nellie.”
This time, when Luke held out his arms to his daughter, she came. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, kissing the top of her head.
“I love you, my sweet Ruby. I know it’s hard, and I’m sorry. I miss your mother every day, and I know you do, too. But we need Nellie. You probably don’t care about this part, but something tells me that she needs us. So let’s all do the best we can to be there for each other, even if it’s not the situation we want for ourselves.”
Ruby nodded slowly, her tears wetting the front of Luke’s shirt. She squeezed him back, and it felt good to be in his daughter’s embrace. And he hoped it felt good to her, as well. Even if she didn’t realize it now, he would always be there for her, always support her, always love her.
“Do you really miss her?” Big blue eyes like her mother’s looked up at him, searching his heart, then breaking it.
“I’ve told you I do.”
“Not very often,” she said. “Sometimes I think you don’t remember her at all.”
Her words turned his insides. Once again, Luke heard Nellie’s voice in the back of his head giving him permission to grieve the way he felt he needed to.
“Missing a person looks different to everyone,” he said. “I’m sorry that you can’t see inside my heart, but the pain of living every day without your mother is there. Nellie isn’t meant to take that away. But she can make some of the things that I’m struggling to do on my own a little easier. I need another adult in my life to help me. I know you want to be that person, but it has to be someone else.”
“All right,” Ruby said, sighing. “I don’t like this, not at all.”
Luke sighed. Ruby wasn’t bending on this point, but at least she’d somewhat agreed to cooperate. He supposed, for today at least, that that was as much of a victory as he could hope for.
Chapter Four
Luke hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said his home was small. The tiny cabin was but one room, containing a small stove in the corner that looked like it was used for both heating and cooking, though Nellie had no idea how anything could be cooked on such a contraption. Shelves along one wall contained what appeared to be the family’s meager supplies and very few dishes. A table and chairs sat on one end of the room, awkward and lopsided, like they had been placed there as temporary furnishings, and they’d never gotten around to finding something permanent. The sitting area seemed like another thrown-together spot, with mismatched furniture that appeared to be other people’s castoffs. Though Nellie understood why Luke had been hoping for a clean house, she could see the potential in this space to make it a home.
On the far wall, Nellie could see the makeshift ladder built into the wood to gain access to what she imagined must be the sleeping loft. The only other furnishing in the room was an old trunk, probably full of the other household goods. But as Nellie looked around the room, she saw there was no place to put anything else. She glanced at the two bags she’d brought with her. They seemed to eat up the remaining space in the pl
ace, and though she’d once lamented the loss of most of her personal belongings, Nellie couldn’t help but be grateful now that she’d had to leave almost everything behind. There’d be no place to put it.
“It’s not much, I know,” Mrs. Fitzgerald said from behind her. “Luke was going to add another room before Diana’s passing, but since she’s been gone, I think he’s lacked the motivation. Perhaps now...”
Her voice trailed off as she probably thought she’d overstepped. Nellie turned to her and smiled.
“It’s all right, Mrs. Fitzgerald. I know you mean well. Change will take time, and that’s all right. I’ve been in worse situations, and I know how to make the best of things.”
Nellie set Maeve down, and the little girl immediately scrambled up the ladder to the loft. Amos cast a glance at Nellie, then followed his sister.
“Just let them go,” Mrs. Fitzgerald said. “And do call me Myrna. We don’t stand much on ceremony here.”
The older woman looked around the room, then let her gaze rest upon Nellie again. “I apologize that I didn’t do more to clean things up in here. It’s easier to keep them all at my house when Luke isn’t home. I don’t know how he manages in such a small space. I tried to sweep, but there’s only so much you can do with these little ones running about in here.”
Nellie looked down at the dusty floor. “I can imagine.” Then she gave Myrna a smile. “I’m sure I’ll find a way to manage, just as Diana did.”
Myrna pressed her lips together, then looked around the room before pulling Nellie closer to the stove. “Now, I am not saying this to speak ill of the dead, but I think you need to understand a few things about Diana.”
Pointing to the stove, Myrna said, “That chocolate cake Amos wants. Do you really think you’re going to bake one in this?”
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