Finding Retribution

by Jana LaPelle

  Finding Retribution

  BOOK ONE

  A SOUL KEEPER TRILOGY

  A REALMS OF THE OTHERWORLD SEQUEL

  By

  JANA LaPELLE

  Jana LaPelle

  FINDING RETRIBUTION

  Copyright © Jana LaPelle 2020

  All rights reserved

  First published in 2020

  This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental. Any references to historical events, real people, etc. are used fictitiously.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the express written permission of the author.

  Cover design: Burning Phoenix Covers, all rights reserved.

  https://trishbeninato.com/burningphoenixcovers

  For all those who persevere through the dark times.

  Those that deserve mercy will find clemency and those that do not … Will find retribution.

  – Lillie Joanna

  1

  Who Am I?

  (Lillie Joanna Faerondarl)

  Honestly? Life in the realms should come with a freakin’ manual. Why is it that I’m the only one living in the shadow of our parents? My twin brother, Lachlan, has been able to carve out his own little niche in Faerie, albeit, he is a jokester of epic proportions and everyone adores him, but he makes it seem so easy, and I envy him for that. I’ve always been the more serious of the two of us and maybe that’s my problem. Maybe, I just need to loosen up. Have some fun and let my hair down for once in my life.

  I can’t help but feel that I’m just a little lost and can’t figure out where I fit in. Ever since finishing school and taking on my role as a Keeper. I have felt the need to getaway. The need to put some distance between me and my oh so perfect mother. It’s not like that. Don’t get me wrong. I love her beyond reason, she is my mother and she is so amazing. I could not have asked for a more loving and nurturing parent, but I’m floundering in the gigantic shadow that she cast. How the hell am I supposed to measure up to her and all she has accomplished in her short life? By the gods, she and Da together with the help of their many allies saved all The Realms from certain destruction almost twenty years ago. In doing so, they delivered the wicked phantom queen, The Morrígan, to the depths of hell once she became one of the Fallen. Why her fall from grace took so long, I have no idea. From the histories, as told by the Druids, she should have fallen long before the battle. It’s become an epic tale that has become legendary by now. Children all around this realm and the next, have grown up hearing how the Accords came to be and it’s all just a bit too much to live up to. That and the fact that my life has literally been planned out for me since long before my birth. I don’t even get a say in what my role is to be. Or, at least it feels that way. I’ll always be second fiddle to my mother as just a mere Keeper of souls in her order. Although, she has made it clear that I will be stepping into the role of her second, replacing Jasmine, but that doesn’t feel right to me. It never has.

  The histories tell us that all the gods and goddesses that reside in either The Mortal Realm or in Faerie originally came into existence as angels born from angel fire in The Overworld. They were chosen by our creator to oversee the mortals in their early years as well as the creatures of Faerie. The one catch was that they would have to give up their wings and would be locked out of The Overworld to fulfill their mission. That is of course, with the exception of my parents, who were born demigods and then ascended to their current station as the God and Goddess of Life. That makes me the first-ever born of flesh female goddess in The Realms and I don’t even know what the hell I’m a goddess of! My nonna, Danu, is Mother Goddess to all The Realms. My Gigi, on my father’s side, is the Goddess of Healing and yet, here I sit, not knowing what my place is, other than a mere Keeper of souls. A Keeper that delivers more souls to The Underworld than The Overworld. How messed up is that? I know that I will always choose the light. Always. It burns bright within me. I am my mother’s daughter where that is concerned, so why, am I the one Keeper in the short history of Keepers that has delivered more souls to hell than anyone else in the order? Did I mention that I’ve only been ushering souls since I turned seventeen? Three short years.

  Needing a distraction from all my serious contemplation, I look around the meadow, seeing all matter of bright colors. This place has an otherworldly beauty. I remember the first time Mama and Da brought us here. We were just wee little tykes. It was the first time for Mama to be there too. The four of us ran through the tall grass and multi-colored flowers, holding hands, giggling and laughing, only to discover that what looked like brightly colored blossoms were flower sprites. As we came upon them, they took flight all around us. Mama just spun in the middle of the field, her long caramel mane flowing around her, and her amber eyes sparkling in her joy and wonder. Caught up in memories past, her laughter is still contagious as I recall that amazing day. I’ll never forget the tinkling laughter of the sprites or the scent of honeysuckle and lemongrass. I remember that Mama dropped to the ground, laying back in the plush grass, pulling us to her as we watched the flower sprites flutter and dance in the air above us. So mischievous, so utterly carefree. They were all unique and beautiful, their flower-like wings fluttering on the breeze, the intense azure skies a backdrop for their majical splendor. It was an amazing day, one I will never forget.

  Pulling myself out of my revelry, I focus on my discontent as flower sprites take flight all around me and I marvel at their unique beauty. Most are less than ten inches tall, their willowy bodies are all differing shades of green and their wings are a range of a multitude of colors. So many things in Faerie are majical and different from The Mortal Realm, and I take comfort in the beauty around me. Take me for instance, as an elven goddess I reached maturity by age seventeen, but I’m also a panther shifter and that side of me will not reach maturity for another year or so. My first shift will come soon and that side of me could be awakened sooner rather than later.

  As children, my mother would tell us about a majical story of a boy that never grew up and a place called Neverland. I want to find my very own Neverland before it’s out of reach. Maybe if I can find where I’m supposed to be it will help me figure out what’s been eating away at me for so long now. I’m tired, so very weary, and I fear that I’ve lost my chance, it’s not that I want to remain a child, I don’t. I haven’t been a child for a long time now. I’m just afraid that if I can’t figure out who I’m supposed to be, I will fail those that I’m supposed to help. I huff out a breath as I look around me and I acknowledge that my physical Neverland is right in front of me, but the proverbial one is far beyond my reach. How I want it so, but it’s not to be. Faerie is so much more intriguing than The Mortal Realm, but I find that I gravitate toward the chaos and destruction of The Mortal Realm while my twin is content here. I don’t understand why I find all the chaos so captivating, but I do. Then there are times when I crave a quiet beautiful meadow full of flower sprites. I’m a constant writhing mass of contradictions and it's driving me insane. All I know is that I need to getaway. I need to put some distance between me and my family, and I fear that my decision will not be taken well, especially by Da and Lachlan. They’re so overprotective of me.

  Cara whines beside me, and I reach over to absently stroke and reassure her, running my fingers through her silky soft fur. I lean into her welcoming form. She’s my fennec fox, so beautiful. I love her overly large ears and her mischievous pointy face. As she grew, her white fur developed a sandy beige over layer that never reached her eyes, the tips of her ears, or her feet. I adore that her solid dark brown eyes and button nose are showcased by her white fur. Her siz
e is unusual. We all thought that Cara and Ban had reached adulthood and stopped growing when we were mere toddlers, but everyone was wrong, as Lachlan and I grew, so did they. Cara is an abnormally large female fennec fox, just about twice as big as her brethren but still just under ten pounds. She is my constant companion, my spiorad ainmhí, or spirit animal. We have been connected spiritually for almost as long as I’ve been a living, breathing person in The Realms. I can’t imagine my life without her, but she can’t come with me when I’m transporting souls and I’m not sure how I will be able to bring her with me to The Mortal Realm, but I’ll figure it out, and she whines again, not liking that we may need to be separated. Then there is my panther. She has been lying just beneath the surface for some time now. My life and my world are so utterly whacked! It’s now or never.

  My mind made up, I stand and so does Cara. I pick her up to caress the top of her head before tracing us home to Glenndale Loch. For some reason, I’ve always loved the terrace just outside the library. It overlooks the waterfall in the distance on the mainland that surrounds our little island Keep, and that is exactly where we appear as we step out of my trace. I admire the tranquility of the day for just a few moments. This is home, so why am I pulled to leave it for The Mortal Realm? I love the sights, sounds and even the scents of the cool water, grass, and the surrounding forest.

  I’m startled out of my quiet contemplation when I hear, “Where have you been, baby girl?” My mother smiles and rushes toward me to pull me into a hug. Holding her close, I return her welcoming embrace, and my torn heart warms in the love she so freely offers. I stand about four inches taller than she does, which is not saying much because she’s tiny at five foot nothing. For just a moment, I snuggle into her hug, not sure if what I’m about to do is the right or wrong call. Sensing that something is wrong, she pulls back, her delicate face etched in concern and her amber eyes narrow as she assesses me, before asking, “What’s going on, Lillie Joanna?”

  “Mother, I’m an adult, right?” I ask cautiously, suddenly feeling like a little girl again.

  She huffs, “I liked it so much better when I was Mama to you, Mother is so … proper sounding.”

  Sighing, she’s already changing the subject, but I take the bait for now, and reply, “Mother is a more grown-up name for you now, but you will always be my Mama and sometimes even my Mum.”

  “That’s better,” she smiles at me, taking my hand and leading me inside, Cara follows us and we leave the door open to the terrace in our wake. She squeezes my hand, gaining my attention as we walk, “What’s going on, Lillie? You’ve been distant for months. Normally I can read you, but lately, you’ve put a wall up, even Lachlan has been complaining about it. Don’t get me started on your father.” She rolls her eyes and I try to suppress a smile and fail miserably. Mama smiles and asks, “Talk to me, Lillie, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me. What’s on your mind? Can you feel your panther? Are you worried about your first shift?” She pulls me into the kitchen, over to the island where Maith’s chocolate, chocolate cake sits encased in a glass dome and I watch as my mother grabs two plates and forks, a cake knife and server, and lifts the gleaming glass dome. The smell of sweet chocolate invades my senses.

  I go get a couple of glasses out of the cupboard and some cold milk. Nothing goes better with Maith’s chocolate cake than a glass of cold milk. Sliding the glass in front of my mother, I’m not sure where to begin. I watch as she slides my slice of cake to me, and I say hesitantly, “I think … I think I need some time to figure things out.”

  “Can I help?”

  “I’m pretty sure this is something that I need to do on my own. This isn’t something that anyone can help me with.” I say, as I fill my mouth with a large piece of cake and moan in unison with my mother. She looks over at me and we both laugh, covering our mouths with our hands in an almost identical gesture. Maith’s cake is just that good. Hating to break the moment of bonding, I continue, “Like I said, I need some time away to work through some things.”

  She gives me a penetrating look before asking, “Lillie Joanna, what are you getting at?”

  My mind made up, I say, “I just need some space. Time to figure out what my role is, time to figure out who I am when I’m not…” I pause, not sure if I should continue, not wanting to hurt her.

  “When you’re not what?” She asks curiously.

  “When I’m not standing in your shadow.” I say quickly, watching as my words sink in and I begin shaking my head as my beautiful young mother tries to understand, and I quickly continue, “Mama, I love you and Da, but I have to find my own way. It’s not your fault, the way I feel. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be, what my role is. I need to get away for a while. I’m conflicted and not in a good way. This has been coming for some time. I’ve just been in denial. I want to go to The Mortal Realm and stay at your old homestead, for as long as it takes for me to figure things out.” There. It’s out. I’ve said my peace.

  My mother is utterly speechless, and I watch as multiple emotions go to war with one another across her face. She pulls me into a tight embrace and asks, “What do you need from me, Lillie Joanna? Whatever it is, I will give it to you freely.”

  I lay my head on her shoulder and snuggle into her neck like I did when I was a child, and choke back a sob before saying, “I just need time. Can you give me that? Time to figure out what and who I am. Who I’m supposed to become.”

  She sighs as she strokes my hair and I hold her close. She whispers, “I knew that one day this would happen, that I would no longer be able to fix things for you, no longer be everything to you, and that my role in your life would change. I just hate that today is that day.” She pulls back, tears glistening in her warm amber eyes. She places a gentle kiss on my forehead, before continuing, “You are my firstborn daughter, and you are smart, you are not lacking, even if you think you are, but you are right, this is your journey to travel, your path to take. I will support you in any way I can. I don’t like that I can’t help you with this, but I understand.” She pulls me into another fierce hug that I’m helpless to melt into and says, “If this is your decision, and what you need? Then go. Before the males in this family get home. I’ll run interference as best I can.”

  “Thank you for understanding. I love you, Mama.” I whisper before pulling away and then I trace Cara and myself to The Mortal Realm.

  2

  Be Careful What You Wish For

  (Lillie Joanna)

  I‘ve been at Mama’s house in The Mortal Realm for just under a day and Lachlan showed up this morning. By the gods, he’s a giant pain in my ass. We had an argument of epic proportions, but he is adamant that he’s my guardian and that where I go outside of Faerie, he goes. I have no idea as to how this will pan out because this is not my idea of working through my thoughts and trying to figure things out on my own. Just as I’m about to call him out on it, our parents show up and I sigh, feeling defeated before I’ve even had a chance to settle in here in our home away from home.

  Da marches over to me and pulls me into a hug and whispers, “I love you, little flower.” The closely cropped beard that he has been sporting over the last year tickles my cheek as he kisses me softly.

  I reach up and cup his handsome face in my hands and smile, “I love you too, Da, but lose the beard, I miss seeing your dimples when you grin.”

  “You and your mother,” he grumbles, before saying in jest, “but don’t I look dashing?”

  Laughing, I agree, “Always. It’s just weird having parents that never seem to age. Now I look like your little sister, not your daughter.”

  “See? I thought I was doing my children a solid by sporting a beard.” He leans in and whispers, “It makes me look older. Don’t you think? The sacrifices I make for you kids.” He winks with a grin and I chuckle at his light-hearted banter. He’s wearing jeans from this world and a snug-fitting black tee-shirt. My father is beyond handsome as I take him in, his cerulean blue eyes twinkling,
a perfect match to my own.

  My mother smiles at the two of us before turning to address my brother, “Lachlan, we’ve been over this. Your sister needs a bit of a vacation. Time to sort through some personal things, so … you are coming back to Faerie with us. No arguments.”

  Lachlan looks over at me, his handsome face, so like our father’s contorts in disbelief, and he sputters, “But, she needs my protection. I’m her Guardian. She’s my sister! My twin sister.” He insists as if that makes a difference.

  My mother looks over at me and nods, “Yes, she and you are close and depend on one another as is the nature of your sibling bond, but, my little Elf-Man, your sister needs time and we intend to give her that. So, come along.”

  “But…”

  “Come along, son.” My father winks at me and my heart melts for my two wonderful parents.

  “But … She needs me. I need to be here for her.”

  Walking over to my brother, taking his hand in my own, I look up at him and smile, “I love that you are so protective over me, and I adore that you want to be here for me, but brother, you know that this has been coming for some time now. I just need some space to figure some things out. I’ll try not to take too long. I promise.”

  Lachlan pulls me into a hug, and I’m swallowed up by his massive frame. He whispers, “Why won’t you let me help you?”

  “Because this is a journey that I need to take alone. I need to sort through,” and I wave my hands around my head, “all this stuff. You will be the first one to know if I need your help, you know that.”

  “I think I get it, but I don’t like it.” He pulls back and looks down at me, his face etched in concern, before grinning mischievously, his dimples popping, just like Da’s and announces, “I’ll give you some space, but I won’t let you shut me out completely. I get to pop in on you from time to time, or no deal. Have you even talked to Poppy about your little hiatus from us?”