Toxic

by Jacqui Rose

  Ma’s voice sounded puzzled. ‘What are you talking about? This ain’t my fault, none of it’s my fault. It’s yours. Nobody asked you to run away that night, but you did. You were pregnant, and you ran off, dragging Ryan with you. What did you expect would happen?’

  ‘Not this!’

  ‘You started to bleed and went into labour too soon, how’s that my fault, Bree? We did everything we could to save them. They were weak and underweight. They were ill. It broke my heart to see them born and needing morphine the minute they came into this world. But I blame you for that. If you’d just behaved yourself, just listened like you were supposed to, none of this would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have had to give it you, and them poor little mites wouldn’t have been born addicted to the stuff. What chance did they ever have? We buried them up in the woods, and I tell you something Bree, it was one of the worst days of me life. And I’ll never forgive you for that because you knew, you knew, that nobody leaves Ma.’

  Bree stared at her, then glanced down at the yellow cardigan and white knitted shawl. In a whisper she said, ‘What do you mean, them?’

  Nastily, Ma cackled. ‘Oh, did I forget to tell you, you had twins.’

  Without saying another word, Bree Dwyer leapt up and suddenly bolted for the door, running into the night.

  74

  ‘Hello! Hello! Sandra, you’ve had your joke, now just let me out. I ain’t going to be cross but enough is enough. Sandra, I’m talking to you.’ Eddie banged on the door as he listened to the footsteps in the house. He couldn’t see anything much in the pitch black and he needed to use the bathroom, but there was no way he was going to use the pink plastic bucket, he felt degraded enough as it was. He’d been humiliated and he didn’t appreciate what Sandra had done. He certainly wasn’t going to let her get away with it. But for now he’d play whatever game he needed to.

  ‘Sandra, I can hear you. Come on, just let me out. Come on darlin’. A joke’s a joke. I know you were upset but we can sort this out. Baby … Sandra!’

  A minute later Eddie heard the door being unlocked, and he sighed, relieved as he pushed down his rising temper. Who the hell did she think she was? Well he would show her.

  The door flung open and the light shone in. ‘Listen here, Sandra …’ Eddie trailed off. He stared open-mouthed. Standing in front of him was Johnny Dwyer.

  ‘Johnny … I … I …’

  ‘Wasn’t expecting me?’

  Trying not to sound nervous, his voice tilted on the edge of hysteria, Eddie said, ‘No, but what a nice surprise … This is Sandra’s idea of a joke. She thinks it’s funny to lock me in. Always did have a strange sense of humour that one.’

  Johnny held Eddie’s nervous stare. ‘Is that right?’

  ‘Yeah …’

  There was silence before Eddie tried to fill the uncomfortable, strained atmosphere. ‘So how did you get on with Jason? Or didn’t you manage to find him?’

  ‘Oh no, we found him alright. We didn’t find the diamonds though.’

  Eddie gulped. ‘No?’

  ‘No. Odd that, don’t you think, but not to worry, I did manage to have a little chat with him. It’s amazing what people tell you when they’re dying. People’s final words can be so revealing, wouldn’t you say, Eddie? I reckon you and me need to have a few words.’

  Alfie and the others hurried down the gravel driveway following Sandra. About to put the key in the door, she frowned. The door was ajar.

  Backing away slightly, she whispered to Alfie. ‘Alf, someone’s been in here.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Well I didn’t leave the door open, at least I don’t think I did.’

  Alfie, Vaughn and Frankie all pulled out their guns but it was Alfie who said, ‘Sandra, take Lola and Janine back to the car.’

  Janine hissed at the three men. ‘I ain’t going back anywhere. We came together, we’ll stick together.’

  Alfie’s face darkened. ‘This is not the time to argue, Janine.’

  ‘That’s right, it ain’t, now go on. This is important for us all.’

  Knowing he was fighting a losing battle and aware that the clock was ticking away when it came to Bree, Alfie glanced at the two men. ‘Come on, we’ll go first.’

  Familiar with the layout of the hall, Alfie tiptoed along the left-hand wall, gun drawn, finger at the ready. At the top of the basement stairs he waited, listening for any sound, before keeping his voice low as he spoke to Vaughn.

  ‘Vaughnie, why don’t you head upstairs, make sure there’s nobody about, and Frank, you watch the front door, we don’t want anybody coming in and giving us a nasty surprise … And girls, do us a favour and stay up top.’

  Alfie crept down the stairs, pushing his body against the wall with his gun held close to his body. He tried to concentrate, tried to ignore the fact that, despite his instructions, Janine was following him down the stairs, Lola and Sandra were too, but he was the only one who was armed. He glanced around again, stopping for a moment and checking there was no noise.

  Halfway down the stairs, Alfie stopped in his tracks again. He could see a pool of blood seeping from under the wooden door and, breaking into a run, he signalled to the others to stay back.

  Slowly and carefully, he crept forward, pointing his gun as he opened the door.

  ‘Jesus!’ There on the floor with a single bullet in his head was Eddie Styler. He turned to his sister. ‘Sandra, you might not want to see this.’

  Sandra, guessing what had happened, opened the door wider. Her voice was embittered as she thought about her lonely, miserable years of marriage life. ‘Oh, believe me Alf, I do. There certainly wasn’t any love lost between us … Are the diamonds still there? He had them in his pocket when I left him.’

  Alfie quickly searched Eddie’s pockets. He shook his head, anger coursing through him.

  ‘Fuck! Fuck! They’ve gone.’

  Janine, staring at Eddie’s lifeless body, asked, ‘Who do you reckon is behind this, Alf?’

  Alfie spoke knowingly. ‘I’ll bet me life on it that it was Johnny Dwyer.’

  Lola, her voice full of concern, looked at Alfie. ‘Then if he can do this to Eddie, what is he going to do to Bree?’

  75

  Bree could hear Johnny calling her name as she crept into the woodshed. It was dark and she could hardly see anything, but she knew she couldn’t put the light on and as silently as she could, terrified to make any noise, Bree looked on the shelves, squinting to see properly in the blackness.

  ‘Bree! Bree, where are you? Johnny’s coming!’

  Trembling, she pulled some boxes down, taking off the cardboard lids, but there were only screws and tools and nails.

  ‘Bree, you know I’ll find you!’

  She froze. It sounded to Bree like any moment now, Johnny would come through the door; his voice was getting louder and louder.

  Still shaking, she crouched on the floor, pulling more boxes out from underneath the workbench. Some were too heavy to lift and Bree winced at the noise of them scraping along the concrete ground, certain Johnny would hear.

  Opening the lid of a large white box, Bree finally saw what she was looking for. Johnny’s guns. With no idea how to use the two machine guns, Bree picked out a black, small calibre pistol.

  ‘Bree! Come to Johnny!’

  She gasped at his voice, trying to steady herself as panic began to overwhelm her. Her body jolting in spasms of fear as she released the single stack magazine of the pistol, checking it was loaded. Her heart sank as she saw there was only one bullet, and she quickly rummaged at the bottom of the box for more ammunition. There was nothing there.

  ‘Bree!’

  Terrified, Bree looked up at the small shed window covered in wire, watching as Johnny stalked past. Wanting to scream, she covered her mouth tight, desperate not to make a sound. Listening, she heard his feet on the gravelled path walking away towards the barn, and quickly she pushed the magazine back into the gun, slipping the pistol into her
pocket as she tiptoed to the door, waiting for her chance to run.

  Opening the door only a few centimetres, Bree peered through the crack, watching Johnny walk towards Billy’s car, which had just driven up with Kieran and Molly in the back. She watched as Johnny bundled them out of the car, making them go into Ma’s mobile home, before he angrily began to stalk about the grounds again, looking for her.

  Waiting for him to disappear into the darkness, Bree began to run towards the woods. She leant on a tree, crouching down. Somehow she had to go back and get them, as well as trying to find Ryan. From where she was crouching she could now see Ma was looking for her too, calling her name.

  ‘Bree! Bree, come on out,’ Johnny shouted. ‘You know that I’m going to find you eventually. Make it easy on yourself. Molly and Kieran are waiting for you, Bree. They want to see you! Ma’s told me what you did. You’ve been bad, Bree. Very bad.’

  Seeing Johnny walking towards where she was hiding, Bree ran back into the darkness of the woods, stumbling along the path, breathing hard as she made her way down to the outhouses.

  ‘Bree, I can see you.’

  Panicked, she spun around, looking all about. Her eyes trying to adjust to the night.

  ‘I’m coming, Bree! Ready or not.’

  Johnny’s laugh was high and manic as Bree set off running again, tripping over bushes and brambles, stumbling into the ditch, thorns and sticks tearing at her skin. Scrabbling back up covered in mud, Bree sprinted forward, keeping her eye out for Johnny as she slipped and staggered through the trees.

  She could still see the mobile site from where she was and if she just stayed put, maybe she could wait and watch out for Ryan. Creeping backwards she suddenly banged into something hard, then she felt someone grab her. She screamed as she began to fight, terrified and trembling, scratching at whoever it was who held her tight.

  ‘Bree.’

  She stopped struggling at the warmth of the voice. She turned. ‘Ryan?’

  He nodded.

  ‘Ryan, what were you doing? You gave me a fright. Come on, quickly, we have to go.’

  ‘Is that right, Bree? You ain’t leaving Johnny, ever.’ She screamed, pulling back as she realised it wasn’t Ryan, but Johnny, and in her terror she kicked out, catching Johnny hard in the groin. He doubled up in pain, giving her a chance to escape.

  She charged through the woods, banging into trees as she listened to Johnny shout.

  ‘Have it your way, Bree, I ain’t going to chase you, I got better things to do. Like have some fun with Ryan.’

  She froze, coming to a standstill on the muddy path.

  ‘Bree! I know you can hear me, I know you’re out there, so why don’t you come and watch the fun, because Ryan’s going to be in trouble. Big trouble.’

  Her eyes filled with tears as the rain battered down and trance-like she turned, walking back towards the mobile site.

  At the gravel path she saw them. Ma, Billy Baldwin and Johnny, chains in their hands, dogs at their feet, and Ryan, standing terrified, holding his head in his hands as he rocked back and forth on the spot.

  ‘Here she is. I knew you’d come, Bree. Ryan, look who it is. It’s Bree.’ Johnny snarled as he laughed.

  ‘Bree, Bree, big trouble, big trouble.’ Ryan chanted, his eyes full of tears as he shook, the front of his trousers damp from wetting himself.

  Rushing towards Ryan, Bree tried to soothe him. ‘It’s okay Ryan, Bree’s here. I’m here.’

  ‘Bree’s here. Bree’s here.’

  ‘That’s it, baby. Shhh. It’s alright.’

  Johnny spun the chain in his hand. ‘Me and Ma are going to teach you a lesson, Ryan,’ he growled menacingly.

  ‘Leave him alone, Johnny. Can’t you see he’s terrified.’

  ‘And who’s fault is that, Bree? You know what happens, if you mess up.’

  ‘Then do it to me, hurt me.’

  Holding the barking dog back, Johnny snapped. ‘That ain’t so much fun though, is it? Look at him. Look at your lover boy now.’

  Bree turned to Ryan as he sobbed. She took his trembling hand away from his head, holding it tight.

  ‘Why, Johnny? What did he ever do to you? What did I ever do to you? In all these years of you hating us, I’ve never understood why any of it had to happen.’

  Johnny’s voice broke with angry emotion. ‘It’s your fault. All this. You and Ryan’s.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘Because you were going to leave me.’

  ‘What? What are you talking about?’

  ‘Both of ya, that night, all that time ago. I heard you outside me window. You were planning to leave. You were both going to leave me! You were going to leave me with her! With Ma!’

  ‘Johnny, you could’ve come with us.’

  He screamed out in fury. ‘You never asked! You never fucking asked! And now he’s going to pay, ain’t that right, Ma?’

  Ryan began to chant again as Johnny, Billy and Ma walked forward. ‘Bree, Bree, Bree, Bree, Bree.’

  ‘It’s okay, Ryan. Stay away from him. Leave him alone.’ She pulled out the pistol from her pocket, pointing it at them and for just a moment a flicker of unease came over Johnny’s face. Then he grinned as he nodded to the gun Billy was holding.

  ‘What are you going to do, Bree. Take us all out? You’re forgetting that’s my gun, and I know how many bullets there are in there. Just the one!’ He laughed nastily as he spun the heavy chain in his hand. Speaking to his brother then, he said, ‘I’m coming for you, Ryan. She ain’t going to help you.’

  Ma laughed, staring at Ryan in disdain.

  Ryan turned around in circles on the spot, holding his head in terror. ‘Bree, Bree, Bree, Bree.’

  Bree, not unkindly, shouted at Ryan. ‘Stop! Ryan, stop. Look at me!’

  Ryan turned to look at her, his eyes wide and innocent.

  With her voice trembling and tears running down her face, Bree softened her voice again. ‘You were right Ryan, you were right about having to leave here and that’s what you’re going to do. I won’t let them hurt you anymore. I promise baby, I promise. No one will ever hurt you again. I love you so much. I never stopped loving you, I just couldn’t save you. But now you’ll be free, like that bird. Fly Ryan, fly.’

  And with that, Bree Dwyer pointed the gun at Ryan and pulled the trigger, blowing a hole in his chest, and to the sound of Bree’s anguished scream, Ryan slumped to the ground, his eyes rolling back in his head.

  Running over to him, Bree cradled Ryan’s head in her arms, kissing him gently on his lips as she whispered, ‘Come back to me Ryan, come back to me in my dreams.’

  76

  Hearing a shot, Alfie began to run. ‘Bree! Bree!’

  His voice called out in the darkness, drowned out by the noise of shots he fired into the air, causing Ma and Johnny and Billy to scatter, trying to see who was shooting.

  As Alfie sprinted over to Bree, his expression turned to shock. He crouched down by her side as she buried her face in Ryan’s body. ‘Bree, come on darlin’, we have to go. You got to leave him. It ain’t safe. It ain’t safe to be here.’

  She shook her head. ‘I did this.’

  He glanced around, checking for any of Johnny’s men. ‘What?’

  ‘I killed him, Alfie.’

  With his eyes darting around anxiously, Alfie said, ‘I don’t know what’s happened here, but Bree, we’ve got to go. Please.’

  ‘I can’t leave him. Not here.’

  ‘Bree, please, there’s no time. Vaughn and Frankie are down near the barn. We’ve parked the car along the track and we’ve got the kids.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘They were playing outside one of the mobile homes, we’ve put them in the car. Come on!’

  He grabbed her by the hand, then taking one last look at Ryan, they ran – back down the path, towards the track. Hearing a noise, they ducked down behind the chicken coop and Alfie watched as Johnny went into the barn.

  ‘S
tay here, Bree. Keep down.’

  Bree’s voice was tight and panicked. Shock of the night sinking in. ‘No, Alfie, don’t.’

  ‘It’s fine, he doesn’t look like he’s armed.’

  ‘But that’s where he keeps some of his guns. It’s probably what he’s gone in there to get.’

  ‘Trust me. I’ll be fine.’

  Without waiting for her reply, Alfie crept along to the front, slowly opening the creaking door. Staying low and hiding behind the bales of hay, he held his gun up listening for any noise. Creeping quietly towards the far end of the barn, a sound to the side of him had Alfie spinning around before a hail of bullets blazed down around him.

  Alfie aimed his gun, firing back as Johnny ran out of sight. More shots were fired from Johnny, but Alfie couldn’t see where they were coming from, so he sprinted along the wooden wall and took cover behind several large bags of feed. Alfie threw himself down, raising his gun and craning his head round the feed bags.

  He was breathing hard, unable to see properly in the dim light, then suddenly a shadow loomed above him. Alfie pulled the trigger, just as he felt the searing pain as a bullet ripped through his shoulder.

  Yelling in anguish, Alfie dived to the side, gritting his teeth as he pushed on his shoulder with his hand, trying to stop the flow of blood. He heard the barn door swing open, and just caught sight of Johnny running out.

  With the storm getting up, Johnny charged across to his mobile home, looking to see if Billy was about. Banging open the door, he rushed into his bedroom, stuffing his clothes into a bag. He didn’t know how many of Alfie’s men were about and he didn’t want to wait and see. And besides, he wanted out.

  Hurrying back down the hallway, Johnny stopped to grab the picture off the wall of him and Ryan when they were little boys, then running out into the stormy night he came to an abrupt halt as Ma stood in the driveway, a gun tucked under her arm.

  ‘Where’s Billy?’ Johnny asked.

  ‘He’s been shot. One of them men took him out in the woods.’

  ‘Fuck. Fuck.’ Johnny began to walk again, picking up his pace as he glanced around and headed for his car.