From Pemberley to Manhattan

by Laís Rodrigues

  “Stop being such a slut, O!”, Fanny warned her lower self, before realizing that situation probably proved one of her exes, Alex Duval, had been totally right: Fanny was a lunatic.

  “So, may I know what movie we’re watching?”, she was making small talk so her mind (and her Oracle) could ignore his warm, long fingers drawing circles in her palm. Oh, boy. She didn’t really care about the movie, for she wouldn’t be watching it at all.

  “Casablanca”, he answered, ruining her plans on making out with him the whole session. He’d mentioned it as if it weren’t her favorite film of all times, and as if it were more than natural going to the cinema for a production released in the Forties.

  “I didn’t know they were doing a rerun of Casablanca…” And that you’d been listening when I was talking to Nat about that movie, Fanny wished to say, but kept the words to herself. She also couldn’t believe how misinformed she’d been; in a sense, she worked in the movie industry, yet she’d had no idea about it.

  “Well, they aren’t. The owner of the place owed me a favor.”

  “So we’ll have an entire cinema for the two of us?” He’d managed to surprise her even further as he nodded in confirmation.

  Not only did he arrange a session entirely for her, but also there was candlelight dinner waiting for them at the theater’s reception, she noticed, completely openmouthed, as they entered the establishment. “Wow. What did you do for this guy?”, she was honestly curious, even though she could guess his answer. She’d seen him in action. Besides hot, Terry was also heroic and kind. Which was even hotter.

  “I saved his son’s life”, he declared matter-of-factly, not presumptuous at all. “He offered me money, which I obviously denied. He kept begging to help me in some way, so he’d be able to thank me for saving the boy when I was off-duty. I finally decided to ask him for a favor, and made him happy. You too, I hope.”

  “Are you kidding? I love this surprise so much that I’m thinking about cooking you dinner on our next date.” She winked at him.

  “I assume you don’t cook for just anyone”, he affirmed-slash-asked, hoping he was special to her like she’d become to him.

  “Normally, only for Nat. But not even she gets the dessert I’m making you”, she said with a sensuous smile.

  “What desert? My mouth’s watering just to imagine…” The possibilities filled his mind and other body parts…

  “A girl must have secrets too, you know?”, she told him, mentally adding Chantilly to her groceries shop list.

  They watched the movie, then ate, and talked, and danced (to Casablanca soundtrack, naturally). When they left the theater, Fanny was more than ready for the night to continue at her apartment. More precisely, in her bed.

  They began kissing deeply as soon as he stopped the sedan, in front of her doorsteps. Ten minutes later, the car windows were fogged up, their breaths were shallow, he was shirtless and her dress was up to her waist. The bake was practically baking.

  “Let’s go upstairs.” It wasn’t an invitation, it was more like a statement, like an undeniable fact, like an unavoidable event.

  He took a deep breath and put his shirt back on, which she considered as him getting ready to leave the vehicle. “I really want to go, Fanny. You’ve got no idea. But not tonight.”

  “What?! Are you blowing me off??!” He never got a chance to respond to that, since she left the car running.

  ♥

  Chapter 12

  Bobby

  “My Lord! These women are naked!” It was entertaining when Fitz found out something about the twenty-first century he considered offensive. His dark brows would go up, his lips would turn into a thin line, his shoulders would become tense. And the funniest thing about it was: the most ordinary things for me would do all that to him.

  “They’re called bikinis, Fitz. And, in my opinion, they’re one of the best inventions of the century.” I believed that statement even more fiercely when I glimpsed Anna in a tiny, red bikini. Oh, she was gorgeous. Right now, my shorts weren’t concealing how much I venerated her body. Damn!

  “What is a… Beekiny?” Fitz put his hand over his open mouth when Nat took off her beach dress, revealing a little less than Anna, but enough for Fitz’s eyeballs to try leaving his skull behind. I guess he was enjoying our century’s ways, after all.

  “It’s a type of bathing suit, Fitz”, I used a term he’d hopefully understand. In times like these, I could comprehend my mother’s advice that studying History would be useful someday. Unfortunately (for both Fitz and me), I never believed her…

  “Robert”, we were past the Mr. Brown pathetic phase, yet I still hadn’t convinced him to call me Bobby. “I am not very familiar with female fashion. Nevertheless, I can assure you these”, he was referring to the bikinis, “do not qualify as ‘suits’. I trust one could not even call them undergarments.”

  “Fitz…”, I sighed dramatically, knowing he’d take me seriously. “You’ve gotta improve your vocabulary, dude. No more using ‘undergarment’ or stuff like that, deal?”

  “Deal”, he answered, vexed. I started walking towards my hotter, sexier version of Beyoncé, when he grabbed me by the arm. “What am I supposed to do, Robert?”

  I glanced back at him when I heard the insecurity in his voice, something totally uncommon. The poor time-traveler was looking like a kid who’d just found out Santa wasn’t real.

  I felt bad for the guy; it must be awkward to be clueless about basic social rules. I put my hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “Just relax, Fitz. And take off your shoes and T-shirt, otherwise you’re gonna melt in this heat.” I advised him, doubting his ability to relax, particularly shirtless.

  ♥

  NATHALIE

  What’s Darcy doing? Why is he looking at me with that arched brow of his? Is there something wrong with my bikini? Are the girls on the loose? No, they’re well hidden, thank you very much. By the way, Mr. Darcy, they look amazing! So, mister, just take your shocked, gorgeous, deep blue sea eyes away from… Wow… He’s really handsome all serious like he’s about to spank me for being a bad girl. And I’ve been such a bad girl, Mr. Darcy…

  Oh. My. Sweet. Little. Duck. I sound just like Fanny.

  Take. Hold. Of. Your. Flocking. Self!

  DARCY

  Dear God! This is unacceptable! No man should see Miss Nathalie in such a position but her husband. Not even her intended has the right! Not before the wedding night! Oh, I feel sick. I should not think of Miss Nathalie’s wedding night at all.

  What in the world is she doing now? Why is she moving her legs apart in such exposed manner? What is she looking for under there? Why is she touching the bottom part of that preposterous and useless piece of cloth these people call a bathing suit?

  One must do something or she will be ruined!

  NATHALIE

  Why the shell is Darcy offering me a towel? I don’t need a towel! I need myself some sun! Then, some splashing in that pool. Only after that I’ll be in need of a towel! No, Darcy, I don’t want your fogging towel.

  Is he kidding me now? Why is he covering me with the towel?

  BOBBY

  Oh, shit! Is that Fitz covering Nat with a towel? He’s going to get himself punched that way. Seriously, dude! Not cool! Now I’ve gotta help him out. Lucky for him Doug went for a jog with Patricia earlier, otherwise he’d get himself punched and shot.

  NATHALIE

  Great. Now Darcy is covering Fanny up, too. What’s going on? And why isn’t Bobby doing anything useful about it? He’s just standing there, watching something on the beach. Is he high? Well, he’s concentrating too much to be high. Now Anna’s approaching him. Hopefully she’ll ask him to assist us with the whole Darcy situation.

  BOBBY

  Who’s that fox on the beach? She’s got amazing tits. Round and firm; the twins aren’t even shaking
as she walks. And that bikini’s doing all dudes a favor by not hiding much at all. Thank you, my Lord, for bikinis!

  Damn! Anna just caught me checking out blondie’s boobs. Maybe not, maybe she just thinks – OUCH! – Knee between the legs. Yep, I guess she saw me.

  DARCY

  Oh, dear. There are more ladies to cover lying on the sand. Why are they letting the sun hurt their sensible skin this way? Maybe this is how people do their penitence in this century. I must not forget to question Robert about it. If it is so, I must forgive the ladies lack of shame, for they are simply being good Christians.

  The penitence does not explain, however, their lack of a chaperone. Why are these two ladies alone, for instance? What ever happened to chivalry?

  Oh. The ladies in question are kissing on the mouth. Perhaps it is how female friends say hello now. Or how sisters show affection for one another. Was that a tongue?

  I am quite sure the ladies are not siblings.

  NATHALIE

  Is Darcy seriously offering those girls towels? What is it with him and towels? Where the gel is Bobby? Great, he chose this moment to argue with Anna. Just perfect.

  BOBBY

  Wow, Anna’s pissed. Congratulations on being such an idiot, Bobby. Where’s Fitz? Geez. Is he trying to cover up those gals on the beach? Seriously, dude! What does he have against girls with amazing bodies showing off some of their deliciousness?

  Hummm… Maybe he is…

  ♥

  Bobby

  “Fitz, do you play for the other team?”, I had to take it easy with him. After all, homosexuality was probably a crime in England when he came from. Like that movie Anna had insisted I watched with her (even though I’d been craving to watch some Fast & Furious), the imitation something.

  I’d slept through most of it, but one thing I remembered: there was a dude who was treated like a criminal for liking other dudes! I was so enraged when Anna told me the film was based on a true story I hadn’t even been able to sleep that night. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t considered the fact Fitz might like other dudes, too!

  I guess Anna was right when she called me an insensitive jerk. Actually, she usually was… Not that I’d tell her that in a million of years.

  “What team do you refer to, Robert?”, Fitz replied, and for a split of second I forgot what my question had been. Maybe I should stop smoking pot that Saturday. I’d had enough. “I believe it might depend on the sport I was intending to play and the other players available. I, for instance, am very fond of cricket. Why do you ask, if I may inquire? Would you like to play something?”

  “No, I was just curious…” Of course, Fitz didn’t understand what I’d really asked him. I was such an idiot! Well, this called for a more blunt approach. “Are you gay?”

  “Well, it depends on your meaning of the word, Robert.” Finally, now he got it! Just hold on a minute: what else could I mean? “If you mean the word as its original definition, which is joyful, I might tell you that, apart from the ‘bathing suit’ unfortunate circumstances, I am quite content now. However, if you are inquiring me if I am a gay man, the answer is no.”

  Okay, that was that. I was on the verge of talking about something else entirely when he continued, “I am not fond of brothels, Robert.” What?! “You should not go to these establishments either, my friend. Miss Anna is a very respectful young lady, and she certainly does not deserve to be left aside by a… working woman.”

  “A what?”, he whispered something I could not make out. “What?!”

  “A whore!”, he said, a little too loud now.

  Okay, I understood about twenty percent of Darcy’s speech, but I heard the words ‘brothel’ and ‘whore’, which was probably a strong indication that ‘gay’ might have a different connotation for him. I was starting to realize this would be a harder task than I’d initially imagined.

  “Forget about the gay thing, Fitz”, I instructed him. “What I wanna ask is… Do you wanna marry a man or a woman?”

  That was as clear as water! Right? “A gentleman cannot marry another gentleman, Robert.” He countered, his expression becoming seriously dark.

  “Actually, you can nowadays. But that doesn’t matter now. I mean, maybe it does.” Great. Now he looked serious and confused. “Look, if you could marry another guy, would you?” There was no misinterpreting this one.

  “Absolutely not.” His tone was higher, drawing the girls’ attention.

  “Okay, then… I just wanted to make sure that… You know… If you wanted to marry a gentleman, I’d still be your friend and you’d have my full support. My family’s too.”

  He considered my words for a moment and something changed in his expression. From almost enraged, he went to… Emotional? Oh, no. Please, don’t cry on me, dude! Instead of weeping, he just grabbed my hand and shook it. “Thank you, Robert. You are truly a good friend.”

  Geez, that was the most awkward conversation I’d ever had. And we weren’t even high. At least, Fitz wasn’t.

  ♥

  Nat

  “What the luck was that about, Bobby?”

  “You know that sentence makes absolutely no sense when you say ‘luck’ instead of fu–”

  “Don’t you dare mock my cussing, Bobby! Why was Darcy giving towels away?” There was no way I’d let him bullsheet me! I’d seen him having what looked like a very serious conversation with Darcy. He definitely knew what the whole towel fuss had been about.

  “I’m not supposed to tell, Nat.” A secret? I loved those.

  “I won’t tell anyone”, he looked at me suspiciously. “Not even Fanny. I promise.” I didn’t like letting Fanny out of good gossip, but I wouldn’t break a promise either.

  “It’s a sad story, Nat. He lost someone a while ago. Pneumonia.”

  “Oh!” Poor Darcy! “It was his sister, wasn’t it?”

  There was bewilderment in his eyes for a second, but soon after the confusion vanished, and he explained, “Yes. It was a tragedy. She was in his arms when she passed away. With her last breath, she had one request for her brother: he should never let another maiden die of pneumonia again.”

  That was horrible. I should be feeling terrible for Darcy, but I simply couldn’t shake the impression something was off about Bobby’s story. And I was right: Bobby was holding back a laugh!

  “You jerk! I knew you were full of sheet! You’d never call a woman a maiden! That’s too Darcyish! You shouldn’t joke about stuff like that, you know?” He was chuckling. Oh, but I’d rip that smile off his pretentious little face. “His sister is dead, Bobby.” That made him serious on the spot.

  “Thanks for the towel, Darcy darling, but I’m alright.” I heard Fanny’s voice. Her tone made me worry. She was using her You-can’t-possibly-resist-me tone. No way; not with him.

  “I’ll be back”, I told my brother, who became relieved. “Remember what happened when the Terminator said that, Bobby,” I warned him. He shouldn’t relax: that conversation wasn’t over yet. Far from it. Something was going on and I’d get to the bottom of it.

  “You look tense, Darcy darling,” Fanny continued, standing up slowly. “I think you need a massage on your back.”

  “A massage?”, Darcy was surprised with her suggestion, but I couldn’t say if it was a good kind of surprise or a bad one.

  “Sure! I’ve been complimented on having magical hands… And other body parts too.” She then winked at him.

  “Fanny!”, Bobby yelled, while Anna chuckled by Fanny’s side. I sure as hell wasn’t laughing. Yeah, that situation called for a real cussing in my mind. Noticing Fanny was ignoring him, Bobby shouted. “I need to talk to you! NOW!”

  My best-friend-who-I-now-wanted-to-kill-slowly-and-surely rolled her eyes and moved away from her almost victim. Not before telling Darcy, “If you need a massage on your shoulders…” Her eyes traveled t
o a lower level of his body. A dangerous level. “…or your head, I can assure you I’m your gal. I’ve been called a massage Goddess.”

  Oh. My. Goddess.

  ♥

  Chapter 13

  Nat

  The rain hit the ground as we were parking Dad’s car two blocks away from our building. We rushed home, and as I reached the familiar red door, a gigantic wave of relief went through my body. Even though I’d gone to the Hamptons to relax, I’d done everything but.

  First of all, there was the Darcy situation. Yes, I’d dreamt about him again last night, and yes, it had been a R-rated dream. Second, I had spent a total of ZERO hours doing some dot-dot-dot with Doug.

  The previous day, as he returned from his run on the beach, he got a call from his captain, stating an emergency was forcing him to call in all his detectives. Regardless of my acquaintance with Doug’s job, and the fact he had no other choice but return to New York, we ended up having an argument anyway.

  Last but not least, there was the Patty-Fanny situation. I’d been having way too many situations these days, which was annoying. I’d spent a good part of my weekend making sure Fanny wouldn’t cut Patty’s throat. Okay, I might have been overreacting, but Fanny definitely looked like she wished the world was rid of Patty.

  Poor Patty ended up returning home alone, for Doug was gone, Dad ordered me to be in his car as Bobby drove it back (apparently, he wanted me to make sure Bobby would stay sober all the way) and Fanny refused to ride with Patty. To be honest, Patty went home with her father’s driver, but I was trying to make Fanny feel bad for her. Which she obviously didn’t.

  So, basically, Fanny, Darcy and I had to squeeze ourselves in Dad’s backseat on the way back to New York, which didn’t improve the whole Darcy situation much. Quite the contrary.

  “Home, sweet home!”, I practically yelled as I crossed the threshold.

  As we entered our living room, a delicious smell of chocolate chip cookies reminded me of yet another reason to be excited about being back: Grandma was home!