Inescapable

by Nancy Mehl

  After the Zooks went back to their table, several other people approached us. Some of them just expressing joy that we were home. Two more people admitted to remorse for not being more supportive toward me. It was overwhelming. Finally everyone returned to their seats.

  “Why, if it isn’t Lizzie Lynn Engel!” a voice rang out. “What in the world are you doin’ here?”

  I turned to see Cora Menlo’s round, smiling face. She wore a dark blue dress with yellow flowers and green leaves, and over her dress was a red apron. I wasn’t sure there was a color she’d forgotten. But even more surprising was her complete lack of a head covering. Her hair had been cut short and curled around her plump face. To my further amazement, I realized she was wearing makeup. I could only suspect that she had fallen away from the church, like me. She toddled up to us, clutching an order pad in one hand.

  “My . . . my mother told me to give you this.” I took Mother’s note out of my pocket and handed it to her.

  She read it quickly. “You poor little lamb,” she said when she’d finished. “You come over here with me.”

  Charity and I followed her to a table in the corner, where she motioned for us to sit down.

  “How about some dinner?” she asked. “What kind of food does this gorgeous little lady like?” She winked at Charity, who giggled.

  “Cheeseburgers!” she said with glee.

  Cora laughed. “I can fill that order. And how about you, Lizzie? Everything I’m servin’ is on the menu board. Did you check it out when you came in?”

  I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even see it.”

  She clucked her tongue. “Seems I remember whenever we had church dinners you always gobbled up my fried chicken. How about some nice fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and gravy?”

  “That sounds wonderful,” I said gratefully. “Thank you so much.”

  “No problem, honey.” She glanced around the room. “I’ll get it to you as fast as I can. Things are really hoppin’ tonight, and my only waitress is too pregnant to help out anymore. How about startin’ off with some nice hot coffee?”

  “Please. But let me get it, Cora. You’re too busy.”

  She studied my face. “Honey, you look exhausted. You stay right where you are and let me take care of you. I sure appreciate the offer, though.” She grinned at Charity. “And a glass of milk for you, little miss?”

  Charity shook her head. “Pop!” she declared with enthusiasm.

  “Milk,” I responded firmly. “You’ve already had your pop limit for the day.”

  Charity’s bottom lip stuck out. “But I want pop.”

  “You know what?” Cora said. “Your mama always was the prettiest girl in Kingdom, and I heard tell it’s because she drank so much milk.”

  Charity mulled this over, her mouth pursed in thought. “Okay, milk,” she said seriously.

  I flashed Cora a thumbs-up, and she scurried away to fill our order. I glanced around the room, feeling rather conspicuous but thankful that almost everyone had gone back to their meals. Those who met my gaze smiled warmly at me. This was a much different reaction than the one I’d received after Charity was born. The town really was changing.

  But then I spotted John Lapp sitting at a table across the room. His expression was far from welcoming. After one angry glance, he refused to look my way again. He and his wife, Frances, had been my chief accusers. I could still remember Frances’s scathing diatribe condemning me and my “ungodly behavior.” I’d never denied that I’d sinned, and I’d told her how repentant I was. But that wasn’t enough for Frances. I had a feeling that tarring and feathering me still wouldn’t have fulfilled her need to see me punished. John was an elder in the church, cut out of the same cloth as my father. I’d bet everything I owned, which wasn’t much, that John was one of the elders who’d left with him.

  I looked the other way, ignoring John the same way he chose to disregard me. As a rather large family got up to leave, I noticed a young man who had previously been hidden from my view. He was sitting alone in the corner staring intently at me. His brownish blond hair curled over the collar of his blue denim work shirt.

  For a moment I didn’t recognize him, but it only took a few seconds before I realized the handsome man who seemed to find me so interesting was Noah Housler. I took a sharp intake of breath. He was even better looking than I’d remembered. I was so surprised to see him I couldn’t seem to think clearly. What was he doing here? He’d left Kingdom a couple of years before I did, headed for college and life somewhere else.

  It struck me as odd that, until that moment, I hadn’t thought about Noah for years. He had been my best friend. We’d shared many happy times together, running around Kingdom, laughing and talking about almost everything. He’d been the most popular boy in the Washington school. Although Kingdom children weren’t allowed to go further than the eighth grade, Noah’s father had rebelled against the church elders and demanded that his son stay and graduate.

  The main reason I liked school was because it gave me time away from Father and allowed me to spend time with Noah. As we got older he spent most of his time at his family’s farm, and in church, the boys and girls were carefully kept separated. But at school we had special classes and assemblies together, even though he was a year ahead of me.

  Without warning, a memory popped into my mind that I hadn’t thought about since I’d left Kingdom. My father had spanked me with a branch after some small infraction. I was eight years old and Noah was nine. He found me behind the church, crying. Instead of asking me what was wrong, he just came over and sat down next to me, holding out his arm so I could nestle against his shoulder. I’d never been that physically close to a boy before. It felt strange yet exhilarating. He smoothed my hair with his other hand.

  “It will be all right, Lizzie,” he’d said gently. “I promise you that someday everything will work out. Don’t be afraid. I’ll watch over you.” We never talked about it again, but I knew he was looking out for me from that moment on. No one bullied me at school again without Noah warning them to leave me alone. I suddenly remembered the time he beat up Roger Carson not long before I left school. Roger had been teasing me, and Noah lit into him without a moment of hesitation. It was the only time I ever saw Noah lift a finger to another human being. He got in a lot of trouble for it, both at school and in church. He apologized, but I knew he wasn’t really sorry. There were many times before I left when I wished he’d hold me again like he did the day after my father’s whipping. But he never did. No boy did. Until Clay.

  “Whatsa matter, Mama?” Charity said loudly. “Are you sick?”

  The sound of Charity’s voice made me jump. I’d been lost in my thoughts and was horrified to realize I’d been staring at Noah. I quickly looked away. “Hush, Cherry Bear,” I said under my breath. “I’m not sick.”

  She screwed up her face with concern. “But you look all funny.”

  I frowned at her. “If you don’t be quiet, I’m going to—”

  “Lizzie?” a deep male voice said.

  I looked up and found Noah standing next to me. My heart leapt into my throat. His emerald eyes bore into mine, and I couldn’t find my voice.

  He smiled. “It is you. I thought so.”

  I nodded like an idiot, unable to tear my eyes from his. They were even greener than I remembered. “Yes . . . yes it’s me,” I said finally, my voice squeaky. “How are you, Noah?”

  His hands clasped his wide-brimmed black hat. “I’m fine. Still living at home, farming wheat and raising milk cows.”

  “But you went to college. I didn’t think you’d ever come back to Kingdom.”

  “I did go for a couple of years, but my father died not long after you went away. That left my mother alone with my brother, Levi. He’s a good man, but he’s not a farmer. Never was. So I came home to help out.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” And I was. Even though I was thrilled to see him, he was someone who’d had a chance at a better life. And
here he was, trapped in Kingdom against his will, his dreams left unfulfilled.

  He chuckled, a deep throaty sound that made my face feel warm. “I was glad to come home, Lizzie. You may find this hard to believe, but I never wanted to leave Kingdom in the first place. That was my father’s plan, not mine. I happen to love it here.”

  If seeing Noah again hadn’t been enough of a jolt to my system, hearing him say he actually wanted to live in this small backward town certainly completed my sense of disorientation.

  “I don’t understand.”

  He nodded slowly. “No, I guess you wouldn’t. I heard that this town wasn’t kind to you. But I believe those attitudes can change, and I’m determined to make that happen.” He smiled shyly. “My brother and I were recently asked to accept eldership positions at church, and we’re both working hard to bring a new spirit to Kingdom.” He shook his head. “Unfortunately, your father doesn’t understand. He believes our goal is to destroy what he and others have tried so hard to build.” He gazed down at his hat, turning it round and round in his long fingers. “I won’t say anything bad about your father, though. He’s a good man who sees things in a different light than I do. I’m just sorry he dislikes me so much.”

  “I . . . I don’t know what to say, Noah.” I looked at my daughter, who was talking softly to The Princess. I swung my gaze back to Noah. “I truly hope you can make a difference here. This town has been a bastion of rules and regulations all my life. And God help those of us who prove too weak to measure up to the standard.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry, Lizzie. Sorry for your pain, and sorry that I wasn’t there for you. If I’d only known . . .”

  I tried to pull up a smile. “You had your own life to live. Fighting my battles was never your job, even though you seemed to think it was.”

  His eyes sought mine. “I liked fighting your battles,” he said softly. “And I never forgot about you. When I came home and found out you were gone, I tried to find you. But no one here knew where you were.”

  I nodded. “I didn’t tell anyone.” I glanced over at Charity, who was still busy with her doll. I couldn’t tell Noah I’d left town because of her. If she overheard me and understood, it would hurt her and devastate me.

  Noah followed my gaze and seemed to understand. He quickly changed the subject. “So you’re here visiting your parents?” he asked.

  I didn’t answer right away, trying to figure how to tell him we were here for more than a visit without going into details.

  “I’m sorry. It’s not my business . . .”

  “Oh no. It’s not that. I’m afraid there’s no simple answer, Noah. Maybe one of these days when you have time, I’ll tell you all about it.”

  He smiled at Charity, who had forgotten her doll and was now gawking at him with her mouth hanging open. I felt a rush of embarrassment.

  “I’d like that, Lizzie. Maybe we could get together sometime soon?”

  I nodded, trying to quell the nervous fluttering of anxious butterflies in my stomach. “Sure. That sounds good.”

  “Well, I’d better get back to the house. My mother will have dinner waiting.”

  I frowned at him. “If your mother’s making dinner, what are you doing here?”

  He laughed. “Cora makes the best apple pie I’ve ever tasted. I could never tell my mother that, so I sneak in here a couple times a week and order a piece. You just happened to catch me.”

  I grinned at him. “I won’t tell. I promise.”

  “Thank you.” He put his hat back on his head and said good-bye to Charity, who continued to stare at him with wide eyes. She didn’t say anything in response to his gesture.

  I started to chastise my daughter for being rude, but before I could get a word out, she took a deep breath, turned toward me and said, “Mama, this man looks just like Prince Phillip . . . from Sleeping Beauty.” She fastened her gaze back on Noah, staring at him with an expression that bordered on adoration. “Are you Prince Phillip? My mama has been waiting for you such a long, long time.”

  CHAPTER / 6

  I tried to choke out an explanation of my daughter’s fascination with the story of the sleeping princess while feeling the most mortified I’ve ever been in my entire life. Noah seemed to take it well. He just laughed, patted Charity on the head, and left. I could hear him chuckling all the way to the front door.

  A family I didn’t know, sitting at a table near us, found the entire episode very entertaining. I, however, did not.

  “Charity Lynn, don’t you ever say something like that again,” I whispered to her. “Prince Phillip is a character in your movie. He isn’t real.”

  “I’m sorry, Mama,” she said, totally unconcerned about my severe humiliation. “But that man looks just like Prince Phillip. I really think it might be him.”

  I sighed, wondering how in the world I could explain to my little girl that there weren’t really princes in the world who ride in on white horses and rescue sleeping princesses. But as I stared into her cherubic face, I just couldn’t do it. “Please don’t say that to anyone else, Cherry Bear. Okay? We’ll have to keep that secret between us.”

  That seemed to satisfy her—for the time being. My daughter loved secrets. The idea of having one would keep her quiet for a long time. I wondered if Charity’s inappropriate remark had scared Noah away. I longed for the friend I’d had as a girl. The boy I could tell almost anything to. But Noah wasn’t a boy anymore. He was a man, and I was a woman with a child. That old friendship was gone, replaced with polite banter. An almost overwhelming sense of sadness overtook me.

  Cora brought our food, which was absolutely delicious. My first bite of her fried chicken reminded me how much I’d loved it when I was younger. Her meatball sub forgotten, Charity proclaimed Cora’s cheeseburger to be the best she’d ever eaten. I’d noticed that she seemed much happier since we’d left Kansas City. I’d expected her to be somewhat insecure about leaving her home and her school, but that hadn’t happened. Thinking about school made me realize that I’d need to make a decision about her education before too much time passed. Since I had no idea how long we’d be in town, I had no choice but to wait for circumstances to guide me in an appropriate path.

  I glanced up at the clock on the wall as I finished my last bite of chicken. We’d been in the café for over an hour and a half. Where was my mother? As if answering my silent question, the front door of the restaurant swung open, and she came in, her black cape wrapped tightly around her. As she approached our table, I could tell she’d been crying. She sat down next to me, pulling her chair close.

  “I am so sorry, Lizzie,” she said quietly, trying to keep her voice soft so no one else could hear. “Your father refuses to allow you to come home.”

  Cora had come up next to us, probably to see if she could get my mother anything. She frowned at my Mother’s statement.

  “Charity,” Cora said, “would you like to come and see my kitchen? I can show you where I cook all the food. And I might be able to find a nice piece of chocolate cake if your mother will allow you to have it.”

  “Chocolate cake,” Charity said breathlessly. “My favorite food in the whole world.”

  I could have pointed out that whatever she was eating at the moment was her favorite food in the whole world, but instead, I just nodded. “That sounds great, Cherry Bear. You go with Cora, and I’ll wait here with Grandma.” I gave Cora a look of gratitude, and she smiled.

  I waited until Charity was gone. “He’s never going to forgive me, is he? Doesn’t he even want to see his granddaughter? She was only a baby the last time he laid eyes on her.”

  “Oh, Lizzie,” my mother said, wiping her eyes with a napkin she picked up from the table. “He is so embittered. Much worse than he was when you left. Truthfully, it would not be good for either one of you to be in our house right now.”

  “Well, that’s great. Now I have nowhere to go.” This turn in the road made it perfectly clear that the voice I’d heard telling
me to come back to Kingdom wasn’t God. I felt foolish for believing for a minute that He might be interested in my life.

  “I do not know what to say, Daughter, but perhaps we can find somewhere else for you and Charity to lodge.”

  I grunted. “There aren’t any hotels in Kingdom, Mother. And if Father won’t take me in, I doubt anyone else will.”

  “Actually, they would.”

  I jumped, not realizing Cora had returned. She stood on the other side of my chair. “Charity’s in the kitchen with her chocolate cake. She’s fine.” Cora sat down in the chair where my daughter had been only a few minutes earlier. “I overheard you say you have no place to stay.” She patted my shoulder. “I have an offer for you, Lizzie. There’s room for you here. In fact, there’s an entire floor upstairs. Most of it’s used for storage right now, but there’s also space for bedrooms. My sister’s stayed there when she’s come to visit. There’s only one bed up there now, but I have a cot in another room. You and Charity should be very comfortable. And with a little cleanin’ and some additional furniture, we can turn that space into a very nice apartment.”

  “I-I don’t have much money,” I said slowly. “I’m not sure I can afford it.”

  Cora chuckled. “I’m not chargin’ you anything, dear.”

  I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. You’re offering us a place to live rent free?”

  Cora grinned at me. “And you want to know what the catch is?”

  I nodded while the wind rocked the building with its bluster. I had no desire to take Charity out in the middle of a winter storm, but at the same time, a familiar sense of suspicion stirred inside me. It fought tooth and nail against that old saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

  “The catch is that you’ll work for me, Lizzie. Since Julie left I’ve been tryin’ to run this place by myself, and it’s just too much for me. So I’m offerin’ you a job and a place to live. All your meals will be free, and there aren’t any other bills for you to think about. I can’t pay you much, but since you won’t be buyin’ food, payin’ rent, or worryin’ about utility payments, I’m confident you’ll do just fine.” She frowned at me. “I don’t suppose you’ve had any experience workin’ in a restaurant.”