Inescapable

by Nancy Mehl

  Although I realized I might possibly be lying at death’s door, ridiculously, I couldn’t help but think about how great he looked.

  “Are you okay, Lizzie?” he asked.

  I shook my head and pointed at my throat, wondering if anyone in Kingdom had ever heard of the Heimlich maneuver. I needn’t have worried, because Noah pulled me up off the floor, wrapped his arms around me from behind, and pushed hard under my rib cage. The piece of sandwich lodged in my windpipe came flying out, almost hitting Avery in the face. Grateful to be able to breathe again and self-conscious beyond description, I tried to dislodge myself from Noah’s arms.

  “You can let go now,” I said, my voice raspy from my near-death experience.

  “If you insist,” he said in a low voice.

  I would have found having Noah’s arms around me rather appealing if it hadn’t been for the almost-dying-and-spitting-out-my-food thing.

  Cora had come running out of the kitchen when she heard the commotion and was quietly retrieving the remains of my lunch from the floor while Avery stared down at it with something akin to disgust.

  I wiggled away from Noah and turned to face him.

  “Thank you,” I rasped, certain my face was as red as my apron.

  “You’re welcome,” he said, grinning. “But if you wanted my arms around you, all you had to do is ask.”

  I was so flustered I couldn’t seem to form coherent words. “If I . . . ? If I . . . what?” was all I could manage to squeak out.

  “Maybe we better get someone else to take care of the door,” Avery said with a frown, looking concerned.

  I cleared my throat. “I-I can hold a door open, thank you. I have no idea why . . .”

  “My jacket was stuck on a nail outside,” Noah interjected. “I’d set the mattress down so I could get free. That must be when you decided to grab it.”

  “I guess so. I was just trying to help.”

  Noah gave me a lopsided grin. “I appreciate that. But maybe next time you decide to . . . um . . . help . . . you could wait until we ask you?”

  I glared at him. “I think I can handle that.”

  Avery’s grunt signified that he wasn’t as confident about my door holding abilities as his partner, but he grabbed the mattress once again, and the two of them carried it upstairs.

  It took about thirty minutes for them to get all the furniture into our apartment, and after recovering somewhat from almost terminal humiliation, I was thrilled with the results.

  “You two sit down and have some pie on me,” Cora said when they’d finished.

  Avery started to say no, but Cora insisted. “For crying out loud, Avery,” she declared, “you give Lizzie all this stuff, and Noah saves her life. A piece of pie isn’t too much to accept, is it?”

  “I’d love some pie,” Noah said before Avery could turn Cora down again.

  “Then that settles it,” she said. “You two have a seat.” She pointed at me. “Why don’t you help me, Lizzie? See what these two men want to drink.”

  Noah and Avery sat down at a nearby table, both of them asking for coffee. As soon as I reached the kitchen, I slumped against the wall where they couldn’t see me.

  “That may have been the most mortifying moment of my whole life,” I said to Cora. “And believe me, I’ve had experience with all kinds of indignities.”

  Cora laughed loudly. “And just who are you worryin’ about? Me? Avery? Or could it be that you’re thinkin’ about Noah?”

  Charity, who thankfully had no idea she’d come close to becoming an orphan, perked up immediately. “Is Prince Phillip here, Mama? Can I see him?”

  I pushed away from the wall and pointed at her. “Charity Lynn Engel, you stop calling him that. And no, you can’t see him. Not right now.” I softened my tone somewhat when I saw her bottom lip start to push out. “He’s in a big hurry, Cherry Bear. You can see him next time, okay?”

  “Okay, Mama. But I still think . . .”

  She caught my warning look and went back to her drawing. Of course, the piece of chocolate cream pie Cora handed her certainly helped to distract her from her illusion about Noah. All I needed was for her to run out there and start that prince stuff again. We’d definitely have to leave town after that, no matter what fate awaited us outside the borders of Kingdom.

  I ignored Cora’s question and grabbed the coffeepot. She chuckled as I pushed the door open and headed back into the dining room.

  “Cora will have your pie ready in a minute,” I said. “I hope you’ll excuse me while I—”

  “Here we go,” Cora hollered. “Pie for everyone.” She promptly slapped down four plates on the table. “Sit down, Lizzie,” she ordered. “You need somethin’ to make up for the lunch you lost.”

  My escape thwarted, I couldn’t do anything but slump down into a chair next to Noah. To make matters worse, I heard the kitchen door swing open again. Charity came skipping out, holding on to her small plate.

  “I’m comin’ too, Mama,” she called out. She immediately set her sights on Noah and headed straight for the empty chair on his other side. Before I had a chance to head her off at the pass, he got up and helped her into it. The entire time she never took her eyes off of him.

  “How’s that?” he asked when she was settled.

  “Just lovely, thank you,” she said, her eyes shiny with admiration. “You are a very nice man.”

  He grinned. “Why, thank you very much. And I think you are a very nice young lady.”

  Charity beamed as if she’d just been given a compliment from the real Prince Phillip. Somehow I needed to point the conversation away from anything princely before my daughter said something else I’d have to live down.

  “So, Avery,” I blurted out, “your daughter, Berlene. Where is she living now?”

  Avery launched into a long story about Berlene marrying a man from Summerfield and moving there. It was just the kind of distraction I needed for Charity, who still hadn’t taken her afternoon nap. As soon as her pie was finished, she started nodding off. Avery had just begun explaining why his new son-in-law, Herman, was a chucklehead for trying to grow soybeans instead of grain sorghum, when I was able to extricate myself by taking Charity upstairs for her nap. After I got her settled, I waited a while. By the time I ventured back downstairs, Avery and Noah were gone.

  I checked the kitchen, where Cora was working on the evening’s dinner specials. “You missed Noah and Avery,” she said when she saw me. “Noah left this for you.” She took a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and held it out.

  “Thanks.” I took it but didn’t open it.

  “You and Noah used to be such good friends,” Cora said, “but you seem to be so uncomfortable around him now. Why is that?”

  I cleared my throat and stared down at my shoes. “I don’t know. It’s just not the same. We’re not children anymore.”

  “That young man cares deeply for you, Lizzie,” Cora said. “I remember you two runnin’ all over this town together. Seems to me it wouldn’t be too hard to pick up where you left off.” She didn’t look at me, just kept stirring something that looked like gravy.

  “I feel like I don’t know him anymore,” I said softly. “It’s like we’re strangers.”

  She smiled. “I don’t think he sees it that way.” She finally stopped stirring and turned to frown at me. “Maybe I’m wrong, but you don’t seem to know how folks feel about you. I wonder if it’s because you don’t like yourself too much.”

  She waited for me to respond, but I was wiped out from making it through my first morning working in the restaurant, almost being smothered by a mattress, and nearly choking to death.

  “I have no idea. But regardless, I’m sure he’s not the least bit interested in any kind of relationship with me. No man in his right mind would want to spend time with someone who acted as goofy as I did today.”

  She shrugged and went back to her gravy. “I’m not tryin’ to tell you your business, honey, but I hope you won�
�t shut the door to possibilities. Life is full of ’em, you know.”

  Yeah, and so far all of mine have been bad. “Let’s concentrate on tonight’s dinner, okay? What do you want me to do?”

  She sent me out to the dining room to clean up the tables, stock the condiments, refill the salt and pepper shakers, and make sure every table had sugar. I was about halfway through before I remembered the note from Noah. I pulled it out of my pocket and unfolded it.

  Lizzie,

  I’m so glad you’ve come back to Kingdom. If there’s anything you need, I’m here for you. When you’re not too busy, maybe we could spend some time together.

  I’ve really missed you.

  Noah

  I reread the note several times before putting it back in my pocket. The idea of spending time with Noah stirred up something inside me I couldn’t completely comprehend. But the thought of being near him made me feel happy. Maybe I’d take him up on his offer. I put the note back in my pocket and tried to concentrate on my work. But the rest of the day, I couldn’t get Noah’s emerald-green eyes out of my mind.

  CHAPTER / 9

  The next few days passed quickly. Keeping my vow to Cora about not sharing her secrets proved to be one of the easiest things I’d ever done. I learned quickly that listening to her customers was a lot more interesting than talking about them. Exchanges between residents brought me a whole new perspective on Kingdom. Although being Matthew Engel’s daughter caused some of Cora’s customers to immediately halt their banter when I appeared at their table, most of them weren’t quite quick enough. I caught several snatches of conversation before people had a chance to change the subject.

  The number one topic of interest in Kingdom was the current upheaval going on in the church. Many of the older members were distressed about it, to say the least, but a majority of folks seemed to be all for it. Little by little, I began to understand that my father and his friends were in the minority, and that the rejection I’d felt when I’d gotten pregnant probably wasn’t because people felt unkindly toward me. Most likely it was because they’d been too afraid to speak their minds and cross the elders. Many who had stayed silent back then began reaching out to me.

  Except John and Frances Lapp, of course. Frankly, I was surprised they frequented the restaurant at all, seeing how my father felt about the place. Cora finally explained that Frances had been sickly for quite some time, and John couldn’t cook. Although several of the women in the church helped them when they could, Frances and John relied on Cora’s Corner Café to fill the gap. We didn’t see them on Monday, but Tuesday, they walked through the door. Neither one of them seemed surprised to see me working. I was confident that by then news of my arrival and job at Cora’s had spread throughout the town. When I started to approach their table, Cora, who had come out of the kitchen to see if I needed help, grabbed my arm.

  “I’ll take their order, honey,” she said. “You don’t need to put yourself through that.”

  I shook my head. “No, if I’m going to work here, I need to be able to serve everyone. I’ll be fine.”

  She grinned at me. “You got guts, girl. But if you change your mind, all you gotta do is let me know. I don’t expect you to deal with folks that are just plain rude.”

  “Thanks, Cora, but it’s okay.”

  And it was. I casually walked over to take their order. Talking to me seemed to put them in so much pain they could barely move their mouths, but we got through it. And to my surprise, once when I brought them fresh coffee, Frances even let a thank-you slip out. It may have been accidental, but I told her she was welcome and gave her a smile. Maybe it was only a small victory, but I counted it as a real step forward.

  True to her word, my mother came back on Tuesday around eleven. She brought all kinds of towels, sheets, and blankets with her. She also brought an entire tin of butter cookies. Charity clapped her hands when she saw them, but I was mortified. The tin she used was the one I’d taken money from when I left Kingdom. After Charity left with Cora to take the cookies into the kitchen, I confessed to my mother.

  “I knew you took the money, Daughter. It was saved for emergencies, and you had an emergency. My only regret is that it wasn’t more.”

  “Thank you, Mother,” I said, my voice catching. “I’ve felt guilty about it all these years. You were always good to me, and I took it without asking.”

  She was silent for a moment before saying, “I was not a good parent, Lizzie. If I had been better, I probably would have gone with you.” She shook her head slowly. “The way your father treated you broke my heart. I challenged him about it more than once and asked him repeatedly to show you some compassion. I even went to Pastor Mendenhall, and he spoke to your father too. Our pastor believes in strict discipline, but he believes even more in love. However, our words fell on deaf ears.”

  I was surprised by the revelation that my mother had tried to help me. “I thought you turned a blind eye to his treatment of me.”

  She shook her head so violently, her bonnet almost slipped off. She reached up to adjust it. “Absolutely not. But I was raised to believe that married people should not air their disagreements in front of their children. It can cause confusion. This is why I confronted your father privately.”

  “But he continued to treat me like dirt, Mother. I never felt a moment’s love from that man.”

  Tears spilled down her cheeks, and the anger I’d felt toward her turned to pity. My mother had been just as trapped as I’d been. She’d tried to find a way to protect me without being disobedient to her husband, but it had been a war she couldn’t win. Her visit today was in direct rebellion to my father. He’d clearly told us we were not to step foot inside Cora’s restaurant, and Mother was purposely ignoring his mandate. I could only surmise that he’d also commanded her to stay away from me, but I had no intention of asking her if that was true. No sense in stirring up something best left alone. For the first time, it seemed that my mother had chosen me over my father. It made me feel wonderful and guilty all at the same time.

  “Elizabeth Lynn,” she suddenly blurted out, “I am going to say something that you may not believe, but I cannot keep silent about it.” She clasped her small hands together as if she were preparing to pray. “Daughter, your father does love you. He loves you very much.”

  My mouth dropped open at her comment. “You’ve got to be kidding. He’s never cared about me one day in his life.”

  She wiped her eyes with her napkin and daintily blew her nose. “Matthew was brought up by a very stern father himself. You never met your grandfather Engel because he died before you were born, but he was the hardest man I have ever encountered. He drove a spirit of severity into your father, and he has not been able to rid himself of it. I never heard your grandfather say a kind word to his son. Not one.” She sighed. “It is sad, Daughter, but Matthew believes to this day that he has been a good parent. He has a difficult time understanding why you rebelled against him.”

  I was dumbstruck—but only momentarily. “He told me more than once that I was going to hell, Mother. What parent tells their child something like that? There’s no excuse . . .”

  She put a hand to her heart, as if she felt pain there. “You are not going to hell, Elizabeth Lynn Engel. You are loved by God and loved beyond description by your mother. I am so proud of you.”

  Her words, meant to comfort, only caused anguish. “How can you say that? I got pregnant, Mother. I knew better. I had a child out of wedlock. You can’t be proud of that.”

  “Yes, you sinned, Daughter. But God still loves you. Do you not see this when you look at Charity? Is she not a blessing from Him? Our heavenly Father gives us beauty for our ashes, Lizzie.”

  I stared at her without responding. My daughter was the greatest blessing of my life. Why would God give her to me if He had rejected me?

  The question rolled over and over in my mind the rest of the day. And that night before going to bed, I didn’t actually offer another prayer,
but I did manage to whisper, “Thank you for Charity,” before I drifted off to sleep.

  My first few days at the restaurant also brought some wonderful surprises. On Tuesday Ruth Fisher ate at the café. She and I tried to talk, but the restaurant was very busy. She invited Charity and me to her house Thursday night for dinner, so we could catch up without interruption. Cora quickly gave me permission to go, since Thursday night was always slow and she usually closed early. I could hardly wait to spend some time with my old friend and found that I’d missed her even more than I’d realized. She was a lovely substitute for my grandmother.

  Wednesday morning, Noah came in for breakfast. We were so busy, there was no time to visit, but I gave him a note I’d written in response to his. I didn’t want to seem too eager to accept his invitation, but at the same time, I really wanted to convey feelings that were a little stronger than just a casual friendship. I must have accomplished my goal, because when he read it, he smiled. Although we didn’t have a chance to plan a time to meet outside work, the anticipation excited me.

  Hope slipped in the door Wednesday afternoon. I was so happy to see her I almost spilled the coffee I was pouring for Harold Eberly, who owns the local hardware store and comes in for lunch every day. Thank goodness he caught my attention seconds before his coffee cup ran over. I apologized profusely, set the pot on his table, and hurried over to where Hope stood, just inside the door.

  “Hope,” I said, “I’m so glad to see you. I was going visit the quilt shop if you didn’t make the first move.”

  “Oh, Lizzie,” she said, “I heard you were back, and I could hardly believe it. Should I be glad or sad that you have returned to us?”

  I smiled and gave her a quick hug. “Long story. Why don’t you come over and sit down? As soon as I take care of Ebenezer Miller’s egg salad sandwich, we can visit.”

  Hope’s eyes darted nervously around the almost empty room. “My father doesn’t know I’m here, and I’m not sure how much time we’ll have.”