I wondered about Brian again. Why didn't he want me to call him by his name? Brian was a good sound name. Maybe he had been named after someone who he didn't like.
He was looking through the file. I could see it on his lap. It was all about me. My birth certificate, all of my report cards, and medical and dental records. “No tonsils,” he called out and Nanny nodded. They had been removed when I got to school, like five days later. I was constantly sick as a child. It got a lot better at school. I figured it was because my room in the basement was just too cold, especially in winter.
He looked at my report cards again and then at me surprised. I got straight A's from day one.
He handed the file over to Nanny who looked over it even more carefully then he had.
“You said you didn't like Math and Science?” he questioned me.
“I don't.” I looked him in the eyes. He looked confused.
“But you did so well?”
“I figured my dislike would only get worse if I didn't understand it.”
He snorted but smiled at the same time. He looked like he didn't know what to make of me.
Nanny looked somehow worried. I was just confused. I couldn't have done better. Were they disappointed in me. Maybe because my father didn't let me join any clubs or sports.
“Amelia, did lots of girls get straight A's like you did?” She asked very sweetly.
I shook my head. “I was the best.” I turned very red.
“Did you think about going on to college?” she asked.
“My father wouldn't have paid for that.” I was embarrassed, having to admit that.
“A scholarship could have solved that problem?” she asked even more confused.
I shrugged my shoulders. A scholarship wouldn't have put food in my stomach or kept me clothed.
“Didn't your school recommend that you apply for one?” She just wasn't dropping this topic. Her forehead was even wrinkled up.
I shook my head. They knew my family situation. They used to write to my father all the time demanding that he sent money for my uniform when my skirts got to short. In the end I had to wear donated things from the older girls until I was old enough to work in the kitchens to earn the money that I needed to buy those things. I hung my head and hoped that they would drop the topic.
“I know of a school especially for young ladies like you. All the girls who attend the school are married.” She was talking to him not to me. “I will arrange a visit if you would like, sir. All the ladies there have nannies who bring them to school in the morning and pick them up afterwards. All the teachers are also ladies.”
“I'll research it and think about it.” His word was the final one. Nanny said no more.
We pulled up to a mansion similar to the one I had just left but a little smaller. This must be what my father had meant by an influential family. He took my hand and guided me up to the house. He smiled at me the whole way. He opened the door for me. The floors were all wooden in here. It was a lot warmer than what I was used to. He took me from room to room and told me about the rooms that we were in. He showed me Nanny's room. They both insisted that if I ever needed anything, no matter the time that I could call on Nanny.
We went through a door in her room that led to my bathroom. “A bathroom? Just for me?”
“Yes, all the fine ladies have them,” he teased me. His good mood was contagious. I smiled right along.
Then came my closet. It was already full of the things that Nanny and I had bought. One dress was hung up to the side in a dark grey garment bag. I guessed it was my wedding dress. It had fit perfectly. There had been no need for alterations. I longed to pet it, as I walked by. This is your bedroom. He opened the sliding door to my room. That was when I noticed that there was a matching door on the other side of my closet. It had just been open.
He stepped into the bedroom, pulling me behind him. My mouth fell open. It was so bright and cheerful but still very cool. The walls were painted in vertical pink and white stripes. The furniture was all white wood. Shelves full of books just waiting for me to read them. There was a huge window which had a window seat. I could already picture myself relaxing against the pillows and reading. It even had heavy thick curtains. I could hide in there when I didn't want to be bothered, I laughed to myself. No draft would come through that window this winter. The bed was all white and the comforter looked so soft and warm. The floor was wood which had been painted white.
I turned to see what was behind us. There was a study corner. It was done up in dark wood and raised higher than the rest of the floor. I had to take a step up to get to the desk. I touched it lovingly. “I've never had my own desk before. Thank you. Is it antic?”
“Yes, it was hard to find but apparently worth the trouble.” He smiled at me. I smiled back shyly then turned to look at the shelves behind me. They were full of school books. He had been serious about letting me continue my education. There were learning games in there too. “Didn't you have a desk at school?” he asked me.
“No, we had tables in the lounges.” I stepped back down from the platform and looked at them and then to the door.
He followed my gaze and moved to it. “This is the door to my bedroom. I'll show it to you next Saturday. Until then it will remain locked,” he assured me.
I smiled again, blushing when I thought about Saturday.
“I think the best thing would be to give you a moment to look around all by yourself. Nanny will collect you for lunch in about an hour.”
They both left still smiling at me.
I waited for them to close the bathroom door to Nanny's room then I sat down on the bed. It was even softer than I had imagined it would be. Then I went to the window and looked out. It overlooked the garden which reached as far as I could see. I could already see Nanny and I taking brisk walks out there, I laughed to myself again. Could this all truly be just for me? This was so unreal.
I got up again and went to my mini schoolroom. I grabbed the wooden learning game that had caught my eye earlier. I sat down with it at my desk and went to work figuring it out.
I had just solved it when I noticed Nanny watching me. She smiled, “Are you hungry? You must be you haven't had breakfast yet.”
I nodded and cleaned up the game very quickly.
She looked so pleased with me. “If you are that good at concentrating then we can often use independent learning. Do you like the learning material I picked out for you?”
“Yes, it took me the whole time to figure out how it works but I got it now.” We chatted about the game until we got to the dining room.
Brian jumped up and pulled out a chair for me. He was really good at that. It honestly did make me feel like the lady of the house. He sat at the head of the table and I sat to his left and Nanny to his right.
“She was at her desk playing with one of her learning games. It will surprise you to hear that it was one about math.” Nanny smiled as she told him.
“Nothing surprises me anymore. Did you like the game?”
I nodded.
“Nanny, tell us more about these Montessori learning materials.”
She did and Brian, as I thought of him in my head, told her to feel free to order more, as needed.
We looked like a happy family. I even opened up and talked a little. Brian hung on every word I said.
The week had been moving along quickly. The Wedding inched closer every day. It was now only two days away. Nanny had me reading a couple of different books but with no pressure before the wedding. She had said she didn't want to make me any more nervous.
My period was over now. Nanny had been keeping close tabs on that. She worried that I wasn't getting enough vitamins, iron and the such. I wasn't used to this much worrying about me.
“Amelia?” she said to me that morning while we were in my bathroom. She was brushing my hair as she always did before I bathed. “We need to get you ready for your wedding night. We need to remove all the hair that is unnecessary.”<
br />
I nodded.
“That means your legs and under your arms as well as between your legs.”
That surprised me. I didn't know about things like that.
“It will hurt a bit and you will be sore. I would like to take care of it now so you will be perfect for Saturday.” She was going to remove it?
I remained quiet.
“Amelia, are you going to give me any trouble?”
I shook my head. I wasn't thrilled about the idea but if that was how things were done then so be it.
“He doesn't want you to ever have hair anywhere but on your head. This will become part of your upkeep.”
“He talked about . . . that?”
“He will be your husband in two days. You will belong to him and it is better for a man to say what he prefers then to keep it for himself and be disappointed. And you don't have anything to hide from Nanny either.” She sounded a little mad. I had offended her.
I nodded and she started to get things ready while I watched her wide-eyed.
“Amelia, you can undress now.” She had her back to me stirring the hot wax.
I nodded and started right in, knowing that she was watching in the mirror.
She had been so good to me. Her kind of care was easy to get used to. She picked out my clothes and helped me get dressed and took care of anything that needed to be done. She praised me a lot. She gave me the feeling that I was doing things right. She read to me at night before I went to bed. I was getting plenty of sleep. I had never felt healthier.
I trusted her. If she said this was how things were done than it would be true. I was just a shy person by nature and having someone do something down there embarrassed me.
She started in with my underarms. It went quickly. She rubbed oil in after she finished. It was painful but bearable. She moved to my legs after that. She ripped the hair that grew there out and rubbed in oil when she was finished with an area. That hurt even less than under my arms. She worked her way up having me turn this way and that. So she could reach everywhere without having to bend overly much. The only thing left was my most private hair. She had me sit down on the vanity table chair and lean back. I looked away in my embarrassment. She ripped and I flew along with her. It hurt so terribly.
“Amelia, you have to sit still. Lean back again.”
Tears were pouring out of my eyes.
“Amelia, he was real clear about this. You don't want to disgust him, do you?”
I shook my head and leaned back again. This time I grabbed onto the chair, trying to sit still.
“I need you to open your legs for me.”
I opened them slightly and looked away in my shame. I was already shaking.
“More.”
I moved them a little further apart.
“Much more. Amelia, please. Let's get this over with.”
I opened them even wider while I cried.
She sighed and opened them the way she wanted them. “I hope you don't act this way on your wedding night. He has been so very generous with you. A man expects a wife to be dutiful in return. Do you understand?” she scolded.
“Yes, Nanny,” I sobbed. She ripped again and again. I couldn't sit still.
“One last time and then it is over.”
I tried very hard to think about something else but it was impossible to do with someone down there. She ripped away the last of the hair and then inspected me, making sure that everything was gone that should be. “Stay the way you are.” She put more oil on her hands.
“Nanny, no.”
“Would you rather get a rash there? I don't think so. You want to look as good as you can on your wedding day.” She rubbed the oil in then. I thought I was going to die. It felt like I must be bleeding but there wasn't any blood on her hands. “We will have to repeat the oiling over the next couple of days. I hope you won't fuss about it.”
She had never scolded me before. I didn't want her to be mad at me. “I'm sorry, Nanny, I'll be good.”
“That's better. Let's get you in a nice warm bath and make sure we get all that wax off you.” She let warm water in the tub and added lots of bubbles. I dried my eyes while I waited for her to motion me forward. She took a washcloth and cleaned me up. She let the water out and had me stand up when the bath was finished. She showered all the soap suds away from me. She even lifted up my breasts and showered under them too, just like she washed under them too. I often longed for the old days when I got to do everything for myself.
She dried me off with a soft towel and oiled me again. I behaved while she did this and didn't say a word but she was still a little mad from before. “I think a nap before lunch would be a good idea.” She dressed me in a robe and marched me back to bed.
She held the covers up and waited for me to get in. I thought about how I would feel if I were her and I had to remove someone's hair down there and then have them be so unthankful about it. “I'm sorry, Nanny,” I said as I got into the bed. “Thank you for helping me. I'll try not to be such a baby about it next time.” My stomach did a little flip at the words next time. I was glad that I hadn't eaten breakfast.
Nanny kissed the top of my head then tucked me in lovingly, like she always did. She closed my curtains to darken the room before she left. I drifted off to sleep quickly. Forgetting my nervousness about the wedding and the wedding night.
When I woke up I needed to be oiled again. I tried to be very adult about it but I still hated it. Nanny got me dressed in a business suit like dress. She sat me down to a healthy lunch. She always ate with us. When he wasn't here it was just the two of us. “Today you have an appointment with the Pastor who will be marrying you. He is the family Pastor. He wants to talk to you and him all alone.” Her eyes darted over to Brian's empty chair. “I can't go with you. I am depending on you to be very good and not to embarrass him.”
I nodded. Meeting the Pastor was something to take very seriously. I had had thirteen years of catholic school to train me for this day. I wasn't too worried.
The limo brought Nanny and I to church. Brian had phoned that he was running late. Nanny was very nervous. She cautioned me to be good and not to babble on about anything. I agreed with everything that she said.
The Pastor was waiting for me when I drove up. Nanny decided to wait in the limo. I got out and shook his hand. His eyes were on the limo as he ushered me into the church. It was one of those old gray stoned types. It was beautiful. Just what I pictured. I stared in awe and looked around. He gave me a tour of his church and explained things to me. I loved history so I even knew the right questions to ask.
“I was surprised when your fiancé contacted me that he wanted to get married, and so soon. Why didn't you two want to wait? Why is everything happening so quickly?”
“That's kind of my fault. Circumstances made it necessary for me to move in with him already.”
His eyebrow raised.
“Please, don't worry. I have a chaperon with me at all times, she is waiting in the car right now, but something like that would only work for a week but not longer. Our reputation is important to both of us. We want to do this right.”
“I understand but still I feel that it is going very fast.”
“Sometimes it's better to do things quickly and appropriately. I realize the idea is very old fashioned but sometimes a romantic gesture is needed to prove sincerity.” I was blushing and shrugging when the door opened and Brian came in. He went right to the Pastor and shook his hand and then smiled at me as he took his place next to me.
After the greetings he went right back to his questions. “Your wedding is the smallest we have ever had here. Usually people want to share their love with the world. Why do you want such a small wedding?” His eyes rested on me.
“He is doing it out of respect for me. No one from my side will be able to attend.” I hung my head feeling all the shame that my father wanted me to feel from his hate.
The Pastor dropped the topic and talked about the wedding itself
.
Brian held my hand most of the time. I said little. Brian was the one who had everything under control. He knew all the answers to his questions, when the florist was coming, when the organist and so on. The wedding didn't sound so small to me at all.
The part that scared me the most was when the Pastor said I had to walk down the aisle all alone. That felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. I tried to settle myself down by telling myself that lots of fathers died before their daughters got married. I wasn't the first one to have to do it alone. The problem was my father wasn't dead, he just didn't want to.
When the discussions were over Brian claimed to have a lot to do. So Nanny and I went home alone. Once at home she insisted that I be oiled up again. Even though I got to lay on my bed for it I still hated it. I could do this myself but I had a feeling that a protest wouldn't be well received.
Brian had so much to do. I didn't have anything to do.
They had always made it sound like my life would be so busy and full. I was basically twiddling my thumbs, reading my new books and worrying about the future. I did the latter the most. I was worried that everything wasn't on the up and up here. Was this all some joke and my father would end up laughing at me. I mean, what are the chances that he just so happens to be there on the day I come home from school. This was probably all just a cruel joke . . . but why had they spent so much money on me? Meeting with the Pastor didn't fit into that picture, either. I was so unsure.
He was at home for supper. We all took our places at the table. I wasn't all that hungry or talkative. I noticed them exchange lots of glances.
Brian sighed, loudly. I looked up at him without saying anything.
“Amelia, you have hardly eaten. Aren't you feeling well?” he asked with that soft patient tone of his.
I looked down at my plate. It was still full. I had thought I had eaten more than that. “I'm fine don't worry about me.”
He exchanged another glance with Nanny. I got the feeling that not eating wouldn't be tolerated. I wasn't used to anyone caring if I ate or not.
Daddy's Sweetheart (Part 1) (Daddy's Sweetheart (Part1)) Page 5
