by Barbara Goss
“Enjoy your meatloaf,” she said, and left the room.
As Nora sat eating in her room alone, she thought about Nathan and Alex. Nathan appeared weak, gentle, and agreeable. Alex’s personality had started peeking through, little by little, and he was beginning to seem like a positive person who did what he wanted, when he wanted. Not doubtful or unsure, he was also likeable in that, despite his strength, he could be gentle when he wanted to be, which made it stand out even more, because it came as a surprise.
Nora noted that Alex seldom spoke during his nightly backrubs, but tonight he seemed rather talkative.
“What will you do with your life when or if I walk again?”
Nora thought hard, and she put more vigor into her massage. “Oh, I’ll probably go back to caring for elderly patients.”
He groaned in delight as Nora hit a spot that felt heavenly. “What about marriage and a family?” he asked.
“I think I’d like to stay single, at least for a while. I like being independent. In fact, I wouldn’t mind not marrying at all. My aunt Frances never married, and she’s lived a full and happy life.”
Alex moaned again.
Nora felt glad she was able to give him some pleasure at the end of each day. Being cooped up in this room and confined to a chair couldn’t possibly give him much joy. She actually enjoyed the rubs almost as much as he did—his back felt strong and muscular, which was an improvement over the elderly backs she was used to rubbing.
“I look forward to these rubs,” he almost whispered. “I’ve been sleeping so much better, too.”
“That’s the purpose,” she said, putting the top on the jar of lotion.
When she reached to pull his nightshirt down, he again captured her hand and kissed it. “Thank you, Nora.”
The following afternoon while Alex and Nathan were bent over newspapers, Nora decided to take a walk. Maybe she’d go to visit the ducks at the park. She went out the back door and as she was walking down the drive, a carriage pulled up. She walked past it, knowing it probably held a visitor for Sylvia.
“Excuse me," a female voice called to her, "Alex’s Aide!”
She turned to see Celeste gliding towards her. "Gliding" was always the word Nora thought of when she watched Celeste walk.
“My name is Nora,” she said without malice.
“Oh, please excuse me,” Celeste said smoothing her white gloves. “I’d momentarily forgotten your name.” She cleared her throat and said, “How is Alex today?”
Nora shrugged, “He’s fine.”
“I do hate to detain you. Were you going out on a mission, or simply for a walk?”
Nora gave her a puzzled look. “A walk.”
“Do you mind if I tag along?” Celeste smiled. “I’d like a word with you.”
Still confused but not concerned, Nora shrugged. “Sure. I was headed for the park.”
“Delightful,” Celeste said.
Nora couldn’t fathom what Celeste might want with her, seeing as how Celeste had always looked at her as if a hair were in her salad.
When they got to the park, Nora slid onto the bench she’d shared with Nathan, and made room for Celeste.
“What a quaint little park,” Celeste said, looking around.
“You wanted to speak with me?” Nora reminded her. She wondered what Celeste could possibly want to say to her.
“Yes. You must think me a horrible person to leave a crippled man and turn to his brother.”
Nora wondered if Celeste had expected her to deny that statement, and kept silent instead.
Celeste continued. “My lifestyle doesn’t include caring for a…a…well, a cripple.”
Nora wondered what all this had to do with her. Yet, she kept quiet and listened.
“What I want to know is, in your opinion, do you think that Alex will walk after all the exercises?”
Nora now knew how the conversation led to her.
“That’s impossible to say. I hope he will. He hopes he will, and he is working hard to make it so… but no one can say for sure.” Nora felt a bit disgusted with Celeste. If you really love someone, it shouldn’t matter if the person was crippled or not? How can you turn your back on someone you love?
“I see,” Celeste said.
Celeste seemed disappointed with Nora’s answer. In Nora’s mind, if she could assure Celeste that Alex would walk again, Celeste would not hesitate to run back to Alex. How calculating, Nora thought.
“What about Nathan? You are still engaged to him.”
“Oh, well,” she shrugged. “C'est la vie.”
Nora shook her head in disgust. “Celeste, are you aware that once Alex gets a proper wheelchair and installs ramps that he could live a perfectly normal and successful life? Even if he never walks again, he can still run his mill, and he’ll be able to get around almost as well as anyone else can.”
“Really?” Celeste looked thoughtful. “I wonder…if he could dance with his wheelchair?”
Disgusted, Nora stood. “I must get back.”
“You go ahead, Cora. I need to stay and think for a while.”
Nora felt tempted to correct Celeste, but shook her head, and walked away instead.
9
When Nora checked on Alex, he was sitting, staring out his window. Nora hoped it didn’t mean he’d gone back into his shell, but he turned and smiled at her as she walked in.
“What did Celeste want with you?” he asked.
Nora glanced at his window and realized he must have seen them walking to the park. How much should she tell Alex about her chat with Celeste?
“Celeste asked about your progress. I was on my way to the park so she joined me.”
“Next time, tell her it’s no longer her concern.” He sounded bored.
Nora nodded. “I shall.”
“Chess?” Alex suggested, brightening.
“I’d love to,” she answered. While he set up the game, she asked, “Did Nathan see any promising houses?”
“Yes. We’re actually interested in two of them. One has five bedrooms and a conservatory. The other is just as grand, with six bedrooms and a library. I can’t decide which I'd desire more, a conservatory or a library. What do you think?”
“Oh, absolutely a library." It dawned on Nora that she’d never seen Alex read. "Do you read, Alex?”
“I used to,” he said. “I’ve read all the classics in school. I haven’t been in the mood since… well, you know.”
Nora made her first move on the chessboard. “I used to play Chess with my father. He taught me. I finally got good enough to beat him, but now that you and I are playing, I’m wondering if my father let me win.”
“No, you play well… I’ve been playing longer. I can tell by your moves that you were well taught.”
Nora smiled at him, and he smiled back. His eyes sparkled with mischief. When she won the game, she knew that he’d let her win to give her back her confidence. These little acts of kindness, so unexpected from him, made him hard to resist. She’d have to guard her heart carefully.
After Nora had given Alex his backrub, she went back to her room to prepare for bed, when she heard a light knock on her door. She cracked the door and peeked out her head out.
“Nathan!”
“If it’s not too late, how about a walk?”
“Not tonight, Nathan, I’m exhausted,” she said. She actually couldn’t wait to jump into bed with the book she’d had just started to read.
“It’s important,” he said.
Inwardly sighing, she agreed.
Nora could tell something was bothering him. His usual cheerfulness had vanished, and he walked without talking for a whole block.
“It’s Celeste,” he said suddenly.
“Oh? What’s going on?” They sat down on the bench by the pond.
“She’s broken our engagement.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Well yes, but my mother has me confused. When she heard, it was like she didn’t even c
are. She’s been pushing Celeste on me for months but when I told her, she said, ‘Oh well.’”
Nora patted his hand. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, don’t be. It fits into my plans this way, I suppose. As soon as Alex is able to run the mill, I’m off to law school,” he said.
“There. One problem solved,” she said.
He put his arm around her. He kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll soon be an attorney because of you.”
“I’m sure it would have happened anyway.” Nora stood. “I really have to get back.”
When Nathan made no effort to stand or leave, she asked. “Are you sorry that Celeste broke the engagement? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“It is, but it feels different than I thought it would. When you have something for months and suddenly it’s gone, you do miss it. I feel somewhat empty.”
Nora tossed and turned that night, as she wondered what part Nathan had played in all this. He talked about how he'd wanted to break off with Celeste, but when she broke off with him, he seemed brokenhearted.
The next day, after lunch, Nora went to Alex’s room to check on him, was surprised to see Celeste sitting on his bed, and quickly excused herself. Alex looked neither happy nor sad, but simply sat, staring out his window. Back in her room, she wondered what Celeste had said to him. Then she reminded herself that she’d already promised herself she'd stop trying to figure them out and simply do her job. It was what she was paid to do, after all.
Nora picked up her book. She had yet to read even a single page when she heard Alex calling to her. He’d never done that before, so she rushed in, thinking perhaps something was wrong. When she walked in with a concerned look on her face, Alex seemed amused.
“I’m lonely,” he said as he flashed her a look that made him look quite forlorn.
Nora let out the breath she’d been holding. “You just had a visitor!”
“No, I had an intruder,” he said. Then, he brightened and gave her a warm smile. “A game of Chess? Checkers? Pick your poison.”
Nora returned his smile. “Gin Rummy. I know I can beat you at that.”
“Gin Rummy?” He scratched his head. “I never heard of it. You’ll have to teach me.”
Nora spread the cards out and explained the game to him.
“I think I have it. Let’s try it,” he said, “but promise me you won’t laugh if I make a mistake.”
“Of course, I won’t,” she assured him.
At first, Alex played hesitantly and cautiously, like any beginner to a game might, then suddenly, he sped up his game, and then slammed his cards down forcefully on the table. “Gin!” he said.
Nora stared at him with her mouth agape. “What?” Then, it dawned on her—she’d been duped. “You’ve played this before!”
He smiled mischievously, his eyes sparkling with glee. “I may have.”
Nora prepared to swat him lightly, but he grabbed her hand midair and kissed her palm. She felt the kiss tingle down to her toes. She quickly pulled her hand away.
“Do you have anymore games you’d like to teach me?” he winked.
Completely thrown off balance by his sudden kiss, Nora quickly stood. She didn’t know why it stunned her because he kissed her hand lightly every night after his backrub. Maybe it affected her because it happened in daylight, or because she knew it wasn’t caused by gratitude as his nighttime hand kisses were. Her hand still tingled, and she felt a strong need to bolt from the room. Yet, she held back from fleeing. Escaping would make her a coward and not solve a thing. She had to face him with this problem. She stiffened her back.
“Why did you kiss my hand?” she asked in a soft tone.
“I don’t know. It was an impulsive urge. I couldn’t stop myself. Did I offend you by it? I didn’t mean to.” His face and eyes reflected sincerity.
“It didn’t offend me. It’s simply not done by a patient to his aide.”
“It isn’t? he asked. “Why not?”
He looked so forlorn that she hadn’t the heart to berate him. She spoke kindly. “I‘m your companion and aide. Kissing my hand is not professional behavior.”
“So because you’re my companion and aide, I can’t show my appreciation? We can’t be friends?” His smile had faded, and he spoke seriously. “I can’t help but think the world of you, Nora. You’ve done so much for me, and you continue to brighten my life each day. If I’ve crossed any boundaries, I apologize. Sometimes I’m simply overwhelmed with—liking you so much.”
“L-liking me?” she stammered. Now, he had her completely at a loss.
He turned toward his window. “Isn’t it about time for my dinner?”
“Yes, yes. I’ll get it.” She fled the room.
When Nora returned with his dinner, he again pored over a newspaper with Nathan. She left the tray and turned to leave the room.
“Nora!” Nathan called. “I think we’ve found a house.” He put his arm around her to lead her to the table. Alex frowned.
“Nathan,” he said calmly. “Please don’t manhandle my aide. It isn’t professional behavior.”
Nathan quickly removed his arm from around Nora. He pointed to an ad. “I saw this one today. It has six bedrooms—one is small—it has four water closets, a conservatory, and a library. It needs little in the way of remodeling, and has a carriage house.”
“Sounds perfect,” she said, still shocked at Alex’s berating Nathan for ‘manhandling his aide.’ “Where is it located?”
“That’s the best part,” said Alex. “It’s two streets away.”
Nora smiled her approval. She then reminded Alex, “Be sure to eat your dinner while it’s still warm.” She quietly left the room and could still hear Nathan and Alex talking excitedly about the house as she walked down the hall.
When Nora came back for Alex’s backrub, he was ready for her, lying on his bed with the moonlight shining over him. The full moon’s brilliant rays caressed Alex’s back, causing it to illuminate the darkened room. The ambiance it created momentarily stunned Nora.
Alex lay quietly as she manipulated his back. Neither of them spoke, except for the occasional groan of pleasure from Alex. Both of them seemed mesmerized by the mood in the room.
“Are you still angry with me?” Alex said, finally.
“No. Why would you think that?”
“Because, I think you broke two ribs.”
Nora quickly removed her hands from his back. “Oh, Alex! I’m sorry. Was I massaging too aggressively? I was lost in thought.”
She reached up to pull his nightshirt down, and he grabbed her hand, but didn’t kiss it; he held it captive against his cheek, instead. “What has you so absorbed in thought?”
She tried to pull her hand away, but he held onto it tightly. He squeezed the captive hand to his cheek. “I could fall asleep like this.”
“Alex!” she scolded mildly. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because you implied that a patient could not kiss his aide’s hand. So to show my undying gratitude for all you do, I’m hugging it instead. I suppose that’s not professional behavior either?”
“No,” she laughed despite herself. “It is not.”
“Are you laughing?” he asked.
“Yes, a bit.”
He kissed her hand and freed it from his grasp. “I don’t give an owl’s hoot about professional behavior. Goodnight, Nora.”
10
When Nora brought Alex his breakfast tray, Celeste was perched on his bed again. Neither of them spoke, and Alex faced the window. She quietly set down the tray and left.
Nora couldn’t help thinking it odd that Celeste would be visiting him again, and that both times neither spoke. Did they stop talking because she’d walked in? But, Alex couldn’t turn to the window that quickly, could he?
Celeste’s visits bothered Nora, but she couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. She supposed it might be because she didn’t care much for Celeste, but she did like Alex, and more so each day. He’d become a delig
ht to be with. When she walked into his room, she never knew what to expect.
When Nora brought her own tray up, she passed Celeste on the stairway. Celeste nodded and said, “Dora,” and kept walking. One of these days she’d get her name right.
When Nora later checked in on Alex, he was exercising, but he stopped when she came into the room.
“Any possible way we could stop uninvited guests?” he asked, wiping his sweating forehead with a towel.
Nora felt unsure of how to answer that, so she said, “You didn’t eat your grapefruit.”
“I don’t care for grapefruit.”
“I’ll have to inform Tillie. Can I bring you another fruit?”
“No. I’ve had enough to eat. What shall we do today?” he asked cheerfully.
“I hadn’t given it a thought yet, but definitely not play Gin Rummy.” She picked up his tray.
“How about we give that squeaky old wheeled chair over there a final workout and take it to the park?” he suggested.
“Excellent idea. I’ll be back for you,” she said.
When Nora returned, he was already sitting in the chair. Nora thought again of how much he’d changed since that first day when they’d met. He credited it to her care, but surely his thoughts of a new house, and being able to get around alone had influenced his mood.
As they approached the park, Nora hoped that the horrid squeaking of the chair’s wheels wouldn’t scare away all the ducks. She parked Alex by the bench and sat beside him. They sat in companionable silence for a while.
Nora took a deep breath. The air smelled sweetly of the lilacs nearby. It was a lovely day, with the sun smiling down on them. They basked in the warm, mild breeze while birds chirped, and the ducks floated, carefree, in the pond. The leaves on the trees sounded as if they were applauding it all.
“This is beautiful,” Alex said. “I’ve always imagined heaven to be like this.”
Surprised, Nora asked, “Heaven?”
“You are a believer, aren’t you?” he asked.
“I am. I didn’t think you were. You never fail to surprise me.”
