The CEO's Christmas Wish (The Christmas Wish Series Book 2)

by Ostrow, Lexi

  “Tasha!” Leena shouted from behind her.

  Tasha froze halfway through the hall, just as Elaine opened the door and stepped into the hall.

  “What’s going on?”

  Tasha went to speak, but Leena cut her off.

  “Nick and Tasha weren’t a couple. Not when we thought they were. He was using her, exactly as he uses everyone.” Leena’s words were cruel.

  “It was mutual. So was falling for him after a few days. But Leena is correct, he did use me, and I’m not so certain he stopped because he developed true feelings or because his heartache made him think he had feelings for me.” She looked directly into Elaine’s crystal eyes and hoped the other woman believed her sincerity. “I am truly sorry for the deception. I want you to know that, and that I do have feelings for Nick. I’m just not certain he can return them properly, so fresh off a year-old heartache.” The last words were far more bitter than she’d intended them.

  “Tasha, can I just have a minute. Alone.” Nick sounded as if he was barely controlling himself.

  She turned slowly, not trusting herself to remember the simple fact that he might care. But it might only be because he’s accepted he can’t have Leena, not because he has honest feelings for me. Thinking the thought sent a stab of pain through her as if his betrayal was tangible and not merely emotional.

  “Fine,” she gritted out the words, hoping that anger and not hurt was audible in her single word.

  Leena stepped inside Elaine’s room, following the older woman, and the door closed. Tasha and Nick were as alone in a crowded winter lodge hall as they could be. It was dark outside, nearly eight at night, and only moments from when they were due to be in the reception hall to begin the well-known party.

  Instead, they were spread around this hall in rooms, and now, standing in it. They stared at each other, neither one speaking and it irritated her.

  “I didn’t ask to speak to you, please stop wasting my time,” she ground out.

  She watched as his shoulders slumped in a sigh. When he looked down and then back at her, his eyes held the same pained look as when he’d yelled at Leena on Christmas Eve. A part of her broke, not sure of who the pain was for.

  “I can’t fix what I felt a week ago, Tasha. I can’t take it back or act like I didn’t want Leena back when I first came up here. I can’t pretend like I wanted you emotionally the minute I laid eyes on you three years ago when you signed to my firm. All I can give you is that, right now, I want you. I want to see where our lives will go together. I want to spend many more holidays and days getting to know the woman I fell for so quickly when I didn’t think I could feel this way again.”

  She froze, uncertain if he was trying to say he loved her or not. He wasn’t saying the words, so she assumed she was reading too far into it. Which was fine, even prior to that moment, she hadn’t been in love with him. Close, certainly, but not in love yet.

  “You never told me that you still wanted to be with Leena when you first got up here. That information would have been crucial.” She heard her voice beginning to shake and her vision blurred as her feelings started to control her. Taking a deep breath, she pushed everything down, focusing as she would if she were playing a role. “You can develop feelings for someone quickly, and I do believe you care about me as much as you say you do.”

  “Then why are you walking out? I assume that is what you’re doing.” His voice slipped from the emotional man he’d been a moment prior, into the businessman she’d heard negotiate more than once before.

  “The problem is that if you were so ready to be with someone else days prior, I am in all likelihood, a distraction. While I’m not ready to commit anything to you beyond getting to know you, I know how strongly I feel, and I don’t want to be someone’s rebound.”

  She saw his fists clench together and him swallow so hard she could trace the action all the way down his neck until it disappeared behind the crisp white collar of his dress shirt. His lips were pursed together, and his eyes were utterly dead as he looked at her. Tasha could feel her heart shattering, losing something before she’d every truly had it. They stood together like that, facing one another, for what seemed to stretch on for minutes for before Nick finally spoke.

  “Then I will not stand in your way. You are too amazing to feel like the man you are with is only with you to pass some time. Not unless that is what you wanted as well.”

  The deadness in his voice, the CEO of DeMarco Communications persona, was the final shattering force. Tears slipped down her cheeks and she wiped them away, crying out as she pressed too hard against the cut marring her cheek.

  “Then I wish you a Happy New Year, Nikolas DeMarco, and I will see you for our quarterly meeting to discuss your marketing strategy.” It killed her to force the same amount of deadpan disinterest in her voice. Holding out her hand to him, she waited for him to take it. “Please, Nick,” she said, the desperation slipping into her voice.

  He gave a curt nod, slipped his hand into hers and shook it hard. “The same to you, Miss Morningstar. I wish you the best of luck on your newest picture, and I will be certain your marketing plan is flawless.” With that, he stepped past her and walked down the hall toward the stairs.

  When he was safely down the stairs, Tasha unleashed the sob she’d been holding back. Her body shook as the tears continued to fall again. She stood there, slightly hunched over, until she felt Leena’s hand on her shoulder.

  “I’m so sorry, Tasha,” her friend whispered softly.

  Tasha snorted, trying to stop the tears, and looked at Leena. “No, it was needed. I needed to know what he would do. I needed to know that he hadn’t been honest when he simply said he was pissed at you.” She shuddered and wrapped her hands over her arms, rubbing them briskly. “I’m sorry for what I did, but I really did care about him in the end.”

  Leena’s eyes were sparkling with tears as well, and Tasha felt terrible for ruining what was supposed to be a big night for her best friend.

  “I know, Tasha. I think it’s why I was so upset, because I could see how happy you were making each other. Do you want to leave?”

  Tasha mulled the question over just as Elaine stepped out of the room and wrapped her in a giant hug, one so comforting it made her miss her mother terribly.

  “My son, he does not think before he speaks. He has been a zombie for a year, give him time and I think he will realize that he didn’t truly still have feelings for Leena, and that he just thought he did.”

  Tasha gave a cruel laugh. “Somehow, I think he’ll just spend some more time moping than move on.” She turned to Leena and tried to give her a small smile. “Would I be the worst maid of honor if I didn’t stay for your engagement party?”

  Leena gave her a smile that was so full of warmth, Tasha couldn’t believe it.

  “No, because I’ll be the worst bride ever for taking off on my engagement party.”

  Tasha was stunned and immediately began to flail her hands in the universal gesture for stop. “I can’t let you —”

  “Tasha, you didn’t even ask me too. This is all my fault. Let me just go find Jake and let him know. We have years to kiss at midnight, third times a charm after all.” There was no acid in Leena’s tone, just support.

  Tasha nodded and hugged her friend before turning to Elaine. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”

  Elaine gave her a genuine smile. “My son is not always the smartest. He spends too much time in that office of his and forgets to think. Think nothing of it, and I have a feeling both of the wedding party will opt to take you back to Denver.” Elaine winked and disappeared back into the room to finish getting ready.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  “Tasha, you’re my best friend. There’s no way in hell I’d let you just mope in the lodge all night. Come on, you go grab everything from the room, I’ll get Jake and we’ll get you away from her in a jiffy.”

  Tasha was suddenly alone in the hall, and the sadness it created
enveloped her so fully, she wondered if she wouldn’t be the one spending a year dwelling in heartache.

  Tasha felt physically exhausted as she opened the door to her trailer. Unsuccessfully, she tried to drop onto the bed in her corset and petticoat. She felt barbs jabbing into her rib cage and stomach as she did so and jumped up, practically snarling.

  “This is why women invented better ways to keep our boobs in place and less concern over hour glass figures,” she said haughtily, even if the last part wasn’t true.

  She’d been on her feet since a quarter till dawn, and it was well past three in the afternoon. Her inner thighs were sore, having been on a horse far longer than she had in many years.

  “They probably figured I’m one with a horse,” Tasha grumbled as she resorted to leaning against the wall between the makeshift kitchen and sitting area.

  They’d been on set exactly two days. The director had the brilliant idea that a cold read sitting on horses was the best way to get into character. He’s an idiot, she thought abruptly. Minus the twenty awards that differ.

  She should have been enjoying herself. Despite the movie being an adaption, it was still the role of her dreams. Yet, she was constantly tired because, in the few quiet hours of the evening, all she was doing was thinking about Nick. She’d woken up the first night, on the plane, practically groaning his name. Thankfully, she had been quiet and everyone around her in first class had been asleep. Last night, she hadn’t been able to sleep at all. She’d kept seeing the haunted look in Nick’s eyes just before it had shifted to cold indifference in the lodge hall.

  It being a new year didn’t suddenly mean she could move on from what had happened at the tail of last year — even if her resolution had been to forget everything that had occurred and simply enjoy life.

  Her phone was blinking on the counter, and she caught it out of the corner of her eye. Painstakingly, she bent over and grabbed it, cursing the stupid costume again. Pushing the power button on the top, she saw messages populate on the screen. Two texts from Leena and a Facebook notification.

  Her finger hovered over Leena’s texts, before swiping them to the side, ignoring them. Her best friend had given up her engagement party to get her back to Denver. The problem was that she’d spent the entire time trying to rationalize ways Nick was probably sincerely into Tasha. By the time they’d finally stopped at Tasha’s high-rise, at sometime after one am in the new year, she’d been devastated. She’d fully supported Leena’s unspoken question to test Nick back at the lodge, but by the time the ride back to the city had been complete, she’d regretted it and partially resented Leena for doing it.

  Tapping the Facebook notification, she gasped, caught off guard. Pictures filled the screen, three that she could see without scrolling, of the past few weeks. The whole group of them in front of the lit tree and a picture of her and Leena messing around with brownie batter. The last one was of her sitting in Nick’s lap, hands on either side of his face, kissing him. She felt as if she wasn’t breathing any longer as she stared at the picture. When had it been taken?

  The day after the accident, she noted, seeing the slight bruising the makeup hadn’t hidden under her eye. Her whole body felt as if it was on fire as nerves gripped her.

  “Stop it, stop it.”

  She wasn’t sure who she was even speaking to as she practically dropped the phone back onto the counter, screen still on and staring at her. Snarling, she poked at it, trying to close the app. All she managed to do was slam her finger into the picture of her and Nick, blowing it up so it took up the full portion of the screen. Growling again, she knocked the phone off the counter entirely, feeling a sense of satisfaction as it landed face down on the linoleum, with a smack.

  “You will not sit here and feel sorry for yourself. You had a couple of nights of outstanding sex and a fun holiday break. It was never meant to be more. Why can’t you just forget the fact that it did?” At the mention of the sex, her body heated differently, from panic to desire.

  Images flashed of her and Nick. She would never forget what it had been like to have him take her against that wall. Sure, she’d been in intense sexual encounters before, but nothing like that. Nothing where she’d never been able to get enough of the man.

  “Well, it’s not likely to happen again, so just let it go,” she grumbled.

  The problem was her body was too keyed up. The memories had made her slick, and she wasn’t certain what to do. There was only an hour before the break was over and they started to mark out the first scene to shoot tomorrow. Her mind drifted to Jackson Leaghs, her co-star. Actors and actresses slept together all the time when they worked together, she had done so plenty of times herself. But the idea of sleeping with the stunningly attractive playboy held no appeal.

  “You’d better get him out of your head, Tasha. You can’t go to the wedding and still feel this way. He and Jake made up, he’s likely taken a spot in the wedding, and Leena doesn’t deserve you ruining her big day.”

  So many emotions slammed into her that she was picking up her phone without realizing it. The screen was fine, and of course, the fucking picture was still up. Tapping out of the app, she hit the phone icon and scrolled until Leena’s number came up. Taking a deep breath, she pushed on it and let it ring.

  “This is Leena. I’m not here right now because I’m freaking out that my wedding is in a few days! Leave a message after the beep, and I’ll get back to you!”

  The utter cheerfulness in the message alone did nothing to lift Tasha’s spirits. She’d wanted to talk to Leena to help her get passed this, but she should have known her best friend’s head would have been in other places.

  “Hey, sorry for the pause. I need to talk about…well, about Nick. I don’t know if I made the wrong choice, Leena. I was so damned angry, what if I just let irrational fears get in the way? What if he really didn’t have feelings for you when he went up there and just thought he did. What if everything he felt for her was genuine, and I just walked away from the first guy I’ve ever fallen in love with since I’ve been old enough to know the difference between a crush and love? Ugh, Leena, just call me back.” Her voice was loud enough that she’d bet anyone walking by the trailer could hear it, and her body was practically shaking from her borderline hysterical attack.

  When she stopped talking, she slammed her finger into the seven button.

  “Message will not be sent, if you would like to record another, please press one.”

  Slightly more calmly, Tasha pushed the one and cleared her throat as she waited for the beep. “Hey, Leena, been busy. Can’t wait to get out there, even if the director is pissed. I want to talk to you about Nick. Call me when you can. Love you.”

  That time, she pressed end and put the phone against her chest. With her hands there, she could feel how rapidly her heart was beating. She forced herself to take deep breaths in through her nose, blowing them slowly out through her mouth. There was no way she could honestly believe anything she’d said in that rant to Leena.

  She was lonely, and her feelings for Nick had been insanely strong. That was all it was. She just needed to throw herself into the role and forget that Tasha Morningstar existed. She was Scarlett O’Hare until she boarded the plane for a Parisian wedding in two days.

  Nick couldn’t stop watching the movies. Three days after he’d lost the best thing he’d ever had, and all he was able to do was sit on the couch and watch Tasha’s movies. It was as if by watching them, he could still pretend they were okay. The scene shifted into sex, and Nick growled at the movie, as if the actions on it were real or he had any control over Tasha being intimate with someone else.

  “You blew it. You never should have let yourself think what you had with Tasha was real. She and Leena were right. You were lonely and jumped at the first chance to be with someone.” He grabbed the remote and turned the movie off. “So why does it completely not feel that way? Wouldn’t you have moved on by now? Or does not having anyone to be pissed at anymore
mean you’re going to cling to your latest failure.”

  The blaring ring tone slicing through the apartment caught him off guard. He’d never changed Leena’s tone, and it was still simply him saying her name over and over into the speaker. Grabbing it out of his pocket he froze for a moment. He was still annoyed at her for destroying everything, but he refused to let himself go down that road again. Bringing it to his ear, he snapped at her as an answer.

  “What?”

  “Fix this, Nick. She cares about you. She might even love you.” Leena’s voice came out in a rush.

  He froze, startled by her words.

  “Nick? Nick, I know you picked up. Please say something?”

  “Where do you get off telling me something like that after you’re essentially the reason she walked away from me?” His words were angrier sounding than he’d intended. “Sorry, touchy subject right now.”

  Leena sighed loudly on the other end of the phone. “Because maybe I was wrong. Maybe you were able to develop feelings for her that were not born out of a need to move on. Maybe you are falling for her too.”

  He didn’t say anything. He’d already known he’d been falling in love with her and had written it off after she’d left.

  “I’m fairly certain I said that to her in the hall. She didn’t listen. It’s done, Leena. We’re adults and will behave ourselves at the wedding. I’ll be there afternoon your time tomorrow. Just let it go.”

  He didn’t say anything else, just ended the call and dropped his head against the back of the couch. The phone rang almost instantly, and he was too in his own thoughts to note the ring tone.

  “I said leave it alone, Leena. I don’t want to talk about Tasha,” he snapped purposefully.

  “Something about that statement says very differently, Brother,” Anna’s voice said.

  “Shit. Sorry. Leena has decided that she messed up my life…again. Literally, seconds before you called, I’d told her to knock it off. I let her cause problems for me too many times already. I’m not going to do it again.”