The Dust Will Never Settle

by Deva, Mukul

  ‘What for? They’ll take forever to respond and by then my kitchen will be a total mess.’ Simran was miffed. Ravinder sensed that there was something else bothering her too. ‘And by the time they fix it, something else will break down. Why can’t we stay in our own house instead of this dump?’ She was referring to the luxurious farmhouse in Chhattarpur that Ravinder had inherited. ‘It is lying empty as it is… such a waste.’

  ‘Simran, we have had this discussion.’ Of course they had. Many times. But despite his best efforts, he had been unable to make her understand that it would not sit well with the powers-that-be, for him to be living in such an ostentatious place. Not to mention that the remote farmhouse would be much harder to secure… something he needed to worry about with those two Jaish-e-Mohammed lunatics still on the loose.

  ‘The Sharmas have no problem,’ Simran sniffed, referring to his colleague who headed Delhi Traffic. ‘They are happily staying in his wife’s grand family home.’

  ‘What they do is their call,’ he pointed out patiently. ‘In any case, their house is in Model Town, literally a stone’s throw away from his office.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah! I know! We are always the special ones… we can never do anything normal.’ Simran’s anger was simmering. ‘I can never understand why you had to opt for the police when you had the option to join the Foreign Service.’

  Ravinder sighed. He had no response that would mollify her. Anything he said would only prolong the argument. Even after twenty-four years of marriage, she had not stopped griping about his career choice.

  He understood where she came from. Born into a Punjabi royal family, one not very different from his, she had expected to go on living as she had been used to, even after marriage. In those days it was considered prestigious to marry a civil servant. He remembered her fury when he, despite having topped his course, had chosen to opt for the police rather than the more glamorous foreign service. He knew that Simran would have called off the marriage if not for the ignominy that would have led to. There was, of course, also the fact that there were not too many men from a royal lineage available any more.

  Despite all this he did love her, but there was always a gap between them they had never been able to bridge.

  They were different people with different beliefs and ideas… and somewhere, somehow, Rehana had always managed to stray between them.

  They had married when he had returned from London. His parents, especially his mother, had forced him to come back when she heard he had married a Palestinian girl.

  He would never have returned if Rehana had not vanished, taking his darling Ruby with him. It had driven him to the edge. He had run around like a madman through the streets of Birmingham and London, chasing down every possible lead, but Rehana had disappeared, as though the earth had swallowed her up. He finally gave up and returned home to India.

  Even today, Ravinder was not sure what had hurt more, the fact that Rehana had left him or the fact that she had left without explaining why. Later, he realized that in the weeks before she left, she had been moody and withdrawn.

  No. Rehana had always withheld a part of herself from me… from our marriage.

  ‘Even if you had to join the police, why couldn’t you manage your postings the way others do?’ Simran’s voice intruded on his memory. ‘Four years in the faraway hills of Nagaland with not one decent shop for miles around and… and…’ Spluttering, she waved an angry hand. ‘Now finally we get to Delhi and you agree to take over the Anti-Terrorist Task Force. Couldn’t you have tried for an easier job? With a normal life?’

  ‘I didn’t ask for it, Simran, you know that. When Menon died, they had to move fast with the Games and all happening, there was no time to waste.’

  ‘And of course you were the only one they could find. No one else was good enough… or silly enough…’

  ‘Simran.’ Choking off a retort, Ravinder waved his hand placatingly, trying to calm her. ‘Could you please stop? I need to talk to you about something urgent. Will you please listen to me for a moment?’

  ‘What can be more important than this?’ she said, but gestured to the servants to leave the room. ‘What is it?’

  Ravinder did not know where to start. He had tried to think of a way on his drive back, but hadn’t found one. He decided to go it straight.

  ‘Do you remember me telling you about Ruby? My daughter from…’

  ‘From that woman.’ She hated for this topic to be brought up even after all these years. ‘Yes. What about her?’

  ‘That woman is dead,’ Ravinder said softly. ‘Oh,’ she said, her face inscrutable. ‘Ruby is here in India.’

  Simran blanched. ‘Why has she come here?’ She suddenly sat down. But ramrod straight, on the sofa’s edge, as though on guard.

  ‘To see me, I guess.’

  ‘To see you or to lay claim to your property?’

  ‘Simran,’ Ravinder was irritated, but he had to retain his cool or this could all blow out of proportion. ‘The girl has just lost her mother. Is that not reason enough for her to want to meet her only surviving parent? Please… let us give her a break.’

  ‘How do you know?’ Simran pushed back an errant hair which had come loose and fallen on her face. A very un-Simran-like gesture. Ravinder could tell she was nervous. ‘You are so gullible. You believe everything everyone tells you,’ she continued.

  ‘She has not said anything to me about property. She just came to the office to see me, that is all. I invited her to come and stay with us.’

  ‘You invited her to come and stay with us?’ Simran enunciated each word clearly. ‘Here? At our home?’ Her tone spiralled upwards, almost out of control. ‘Are you crazy? Do you know what will happen to our chances of getting a decent match for Jasmine if people come to know?’

  Ravinder had to let her vent for a while. When she halted to draw a breath he spoke again, his tone even and non-confrontational, yet firm. ‘You must understand that she is also my daughter. I cannot – will not – ignore her.’

  Simran could hear the steel in his voice. It emerged rarely. ‘How long will she stay?’ she asked in a resigned tone.

  ‘For a few days, I think.’ Ravinder saw her collapse into the sofa. He drew a deep breath. The battle was over, but he felt no satisfaction. Her anguish saddened him. ‘I did not get much of a chance to speak to her, but I guess it will be for a few days only.’

  ‘What will we tell Jasmine?’

  ‘Jasmine knows I was married earlier, Simran.’

  ‘Yes, but knowing something and having it shoved in your face like this are two different things.’

  Simran was on the edge of tears, as her carefully constructed world began to crumble. But she held herself together.

  Ravinder’s heart went out to her. When he spoke again, it was gently. ‘I agree, but I trust Jasmine enough to know that she will handle it maturely.’ He reached out and took Simran’s hand.

  ‘So you say.’ Simran freed her hand and put it back in her lap. She kept looking down at her hands, as though something precious had trickled out from between her splayed fingers. A moment later, her fingers closed into tightly clenched fists, the knuckles white with tension.

  Ravinder did not reply. There was nothing else he could say to make it easier for her.

  ‘When is that girl coming here?’

  ‘Ruby will be here,’ Ravinder checked his watch, ‘in another hour.’

  ‘Today?’

  Ravinder nodded.

  Simran gave him a long look. ‘Fine,’ she muttered through clenched teeth. ‘But promise me that you will not mention this to anyone else.’

  He nodded again, knowing that the views of society, especially of their relatives, mattered a lot to Simran.

  ‘Let me get the guest bedroom ready.’ Simran got up. ‘But I am not going to sit around chatting with her, be clear on that. Keep that girl out of my way.’

  Ravinder sighed.

  Now Jasmine.

  He steeled him
self. Knowing that Jasmine was due to return from college soon, he got up and went into the garden, hoping that she would come before Ruby did.

  Throwing another look at his watch, he began to pace the garden. His body needed to be in motion. His mind needed rest.

  Ruby got to work the minute she got back to her hotel room. First she called Mark. She had been dying to call him from her mobile while in the car, but did not want the driver listening in.

  ‘How’s it going?’ Mark sounded upbeat. India seemed to be suiting him.

  ‘It’s going well. Listen carefully now. I am checking out of here in a couple of hours. I will be staying with… at a friend’s place… not far from here. Make sure you don’t call me. I will call you.’

  ‘What if there is an emergency?’

  ‘Send me a text… something personal… like asking me out on a date or something.’

  ‘I like that!’ Mark laughed. ‘Yeah, right, but don’t get too excited,’ Ruby could not help chuckling. ‘I’m a woman, remember?’

  ‘Pity. What a man you’d have made.’ He laughed. ‘Have you got hold of the team?’

  ‘Yep. All three will be here tomorrow night. The Aussies at Maurya Sheraton and the German at Taj Mansingh. All booked.’

  ‘That’s perfect.’ She noted down their room numbers. ‘They’ll have enough time for a thorough recon then.’

  ‘Yes… umm… they asked about the payment.’

  ‘It will be waiting when they get here,’ Ruby replied, making a mental note to call one of the financiers Pasha had informed her about. ‘When is the stuff from Chennai due to reach?’

  ‘I spoke to the transport guy. He said it’s en route… by tomorrow for sure.’

  ‘Fine, then we’re on schedule.’ Ruby felt satisfied. ‘Now you have to let me know when and where we meet your man.’

  ‘I’m still thinking about the venue.’ Mark hesitated, unsure whether he should share his misgivings about Nanda.

  But Ruby picked up on them. ‘What is it?’ she probed. Mark told her what had happened after the meeting with Nanda.

  ‘I don’t know what exactly he was up to, but I have a bad feeling…’ He broke off. ‘Well, maybe not bad, but I don’t have a good feeling about this bugger now.’

  Ruby understood. It was something all operatives encountered every so often in the field. She had found it was always a good idea to trust this feeling. ‘I hear you, Mark,’ Ruby empathized. ‘And I agree… we need to be careful.’

  ‘That’s why I’ve got to ensure it’s a safe place.’

  ‘What do you have in mind?’

  ‘Nothing yet, but I am going to recon a couple of places today. Public parks, monuments… that kind of thing.’

  ‘Good idea. Let me know.’ She was about to end the call when it hit her. ‘Does he know where you’re staying?’

  ‘Are you kidding me? He doesn’t even know my full name. Just Mark.’

  ‘Well, as long as he doesn’t treat you like one, we’re good.’

  It was almost four by the time she checked out and headed for Ravinder’s house.

  Colourful banners dotted the roads and huge billboards with advertisements and Bollywood stars added to the frenzy of a city preparing to host the Commonwealth Games the coming Monday. With Diwali also around the corner, the madness was complete. But Ruby hardly noticed any of it. The stress of how Ravinder’s family would react to her mounted as the car nosed its way through the crazy traffic.

  Ravinder was pacing the garden when a Toyota Innova halted outside the black gates. One of the security guards went out to check while the other two covered him, their weapons at the ready. Ravinder was pleased that they were alert. Mohite was obviously ensuring that the duty officer briefed them daily.

  The rear window of the car slid down and Ruby’s face emerged. She was about to say something to the guard when Ravinder called out, waving at the guards to allow her in.

  The gates swung back and the car drove in.

  She immediately spotted the harried look on Ravinder’s face and felt a wave of morbid satisfaction. She had no intention of being taken in by his tall tales now, with Rehana no longer around to tell her side of the story. Yet, a part of her felt his pain. And Ruby again regretted that Rehana had never spoken to her about what really happened between them.

  ‘Take the luggage to the guest room and then get us some tea,’ Ravinder told the servant as he held the door open for Ruby. ‘Come, let us sit in the garden for a while… it’s a lovely day.’

  Ruby looked around – it certainly was. The rain had melted away and the sun, now on its way down, bathed the garden in a red glow. Rows of colour-coordinated flowers bordered the neatly tonsured grass, separating it from the high yellow brick boundary wall that ringed the house. The grass was still wet with rain.

  On one side of the garden was an old banyan tree, its leafy branches providing an umbrella-like shade. Under it was a wrought-iron garden table, with matching iron chairs with bright cushions and an ornate garden swing to one side. At the far end, she could see an aluminium ladder with a pair of garden shears balanced on the top step. The gardener who must have been using them was nowhere in sight.

  Despite the road being only a few metres away, the bungalow was enveloped in a peaceful silence, broken only by the occasional car driving past. A tranquil picture, in contrast with the turmoil gripping most people here.

  Ruby followed Ravinder to the garden table. Then skirting past it, she went to the garden swing and sat facing him.

  Before either of them could speak, a servant came out with the tea.

  An elaborate silver service was placed in front of them. Along with it came some delicately cut cheese and cucumber sandwiches, an assortment of biscuits and some walnut cake. Simran had ensured everything was just right. Ravinder could see her peering out from the dining room window, curious to see Ruby, but too proud – or insecure – to come out.

  Ruby was slowly rocking the swing back and forth. She finally broke the silence.

  ‘Will you tell me what happened, Father? Back then?’

  ‘It’s a long story.’

  ‘I have waited a long time.’ Her bitterness reached out to him.

  Despite his fears and her anger, he mustered the courage and sat down on the swing beside her. A world of gentleness was in the hand that reached out and stroked her hair.

  Ruby felt herself tearing up. The woman craved the contact, the warrior resented it. She blinked, trying to fight it off, but not quite managing. The woman fought back harder; the woman who wanted to know more about her past, the life she should have had, without an incomplete childhood, those untold bedtime stories, birthday parties, family picnics, and all those dreams that had been snatched away.

  ‘Mom never spoke to me about all this… about what happened between you two. I think I need to know… I deserve to know.’

  From inside the house, the whistle of a pressure cooker sounded, clear as a bell in the silence between them. It subsided abruptly.

  ‘Yes.’ Ravinder looked away and nodded. ‘Yes, you do.’

  ‘So, why did you leave?’

  The pressure cooker whistle exploded again.

  ‘Is that what Rehana told you?’

  Ruby pondered before she said, slowly, ‘No, she never actually said that.’ Ruby searched for the right words. ‘But that is what she always implied.’

  ‘I did not leave, Ruby.’ His voice went soft. He felt bad having to discredit Rehana. ‘Your mother did.’

  She cringed away even though somewhere, deep inside, she instinctively knew he was telling the truth. This had to be why Mom was always reluctant to talk about it.

  ‘Why?’ she whispered. ‘What happened between you two? And whatever it was, why did I have to pay the price?’

  ‘You should not have had to pay the price. I am not sure what happened but I think the rift between us began when I came home one day and found her hosting a meeting of Palestinian activists; an unsavoury bunch. I kne
w that, sooner or later, they would get Rehana into trouble. She got worked up when I forbade her to have such people in our house again.’

  Ravinder paused, feeling his way through the fog of distant memories and trying to recall that day.

  ‘She did not say anything to me, and I did not even sense it then… but later… when I thought about everything, I realized that from that day something about her changed. She began to shut me out more and more. And then,’ Ravinder was having trouble talking, ‘one day I came home and found she was gone, and so were you. She had left me a note, which really said nothing.’

  Ruby teared up as memories of that horrible day trickled back to her.

  Rehana had bundled her out of the house right after Ravinder went out that morning. Two suitcases were already packed. Brushing aside Ruby’s questions, they had gone straight to the airport. Ruby was excited by the surprise adventure, but later she began to tire. She soon wanted to go home, and she wanted her father.

  ‘Why is daddy not with us?’ The first few times she asked, Rehana had fobbed her off. Eventually, when Ruby did not stop, she lost her patience.

  ‘He is not.’

  ‘Why? I want him to tell me a story.’

  ‘I will tell you a story if you stop crying.’

  ‘No! Daddy always does that.’

  ‘Well, he will not do that any more.’ Ruby could remember how much that had hurt. ‘Though Rehana had been uneasy for some weeks, I had no idea she was so upset. I never actually came to know what had happened.’

  They lapsed into silence. Neither knew where the conversation was headed, but both knew whatever it was, it needed to be out in the open now.

  ‘Where did you guys go?’ Ravinder asked.

  Ruby was about to reply when she realized that she could not tell him that Rehana had taken her to Palestine. She sensed that it must have been the cause of her people that had made Rehana leave. She had always placed that far above everything else – even me.

  ‘We moved so often… before we finally settled down in London,’ Ruby said carefully. Rehana’s love for her cause and the manner of her death were two facts that might well make Ravinder sit up and take notice – even question Ruby’s sudden arrival here.