A Boy to Remember

by Cynthia Thomason

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll succeed.” Alex nodded at the box. “I have to be on my way now. Can I carry this?”

  “Probably, but why should you? I’m the jack-of-all-trades around here. Is your car out front?”

  “Yes, but I think I’d better stop and pay.”

  “Oh, sure. Pop would appreciate that.”

  Alex reached out a hand almost as if she would touch Daniel’s arm, but immediately pulled back. “He’s okay, isn’t he? Your dad, I mean. He seems a bit frail.”

  Daniel’s face clouded with an emotion that could only be pain. “I don’t suppose there’s any reason not to tell you, at least not now that certain decisions have been made. Pop’s ill, Alex. He has bone cancer. Even a bone marrow transplant won’t help him now.”

  Her heart clutched in her chest. “I’m sorry, Daniel. This must be so hard.”

  “It is. He’s got some time left. A few months, so the doctors tell him. That’s why I’m here and why I took hiatus from my senate job this month. I’m helping him clear out inventory so the building can be put up for sale. Once that’s done I figure he might take a short trip, see some of America he never had a chance to visit before.”

  “Will you go with him?”

  “I can’t. I wish Mom were still alive, but his sister has agreed to go. They get along well. And I’ll stay in touch with them every day.”

  “Why doesn’t he try to sell the business?” Realizing she might be crossing a line between concern and poking her nose into someone else’s family matters, Alex amended, “What I’m trying to say is, this store has been here for decades. It’s a shame to see it close and the building be turned over to some other establishment. This town would miss Chandler’s Hardware.”

  “You just said it, Alex. This store is Chandler’s. That’s why people keep coming back. If it changed hands, I think the big-box stores around Cleveland would get our local customers.” Daniel sighed. “I think Pop’s right. It’s been a good run, but it’s time to close it up.” He picked up the box. “You stop at the register and I’ll meet you outside.”

  Alex paid her bill. She tried to keep her voice cheerful, but she could no longer ignore the lines etched in Gus’s face, the signs of the pain he must be enduring every day. And that cane, propped against the counter like some bleak reminder that everyone’s future had an ending.

  “You have a great day now, sweetheart,” Gus said when she was ready to leave. “It was great seeing you again.”

  “Same here, Gus. I’m sure I’ll be back a time or two before I return to Chicago.”

  Marveling at the way Gus kept his spirits up around other people, she went outside, motioned to her Honda CR-V and beeped the hatch open in back.

  Daniel slid the box into the cargo area. “Nice seeing you,” he said when he’d closed the door.

  “Again, Daniel, I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks.” He paused while she went to the driver’s side and got in. “Oh, Alex, before you go...”

  “Yes?”

  “Would you like to get together while you’re in town? Maybe take in a movie?”

  Was she reading his question correctly? Was he suggesting they take up where they left off eighteen years ago? Didn’t he remember she was a widow? “Are you asking me on a date, Daniel?”

  He grinned. “And if I were, what would you say?”

  I would say that my racing heart couldn’t take an entire evening with you. She cleared her throat. “Considering the recent events in my life...” and a few significant ones from the past “...I’d have to say no.”

  He leaned his forearm on the top of her car. “Okay, then. I’m not asking you on a date. We’d just be two friends going out for the evening to catch up on time lost. What would you say to that?”

  She smiled. “Still no, but thanks anyway.”

  “You know where I am if you change your mind. Either here, at Pop’s house or at the theater. People can always use friends, Alex, and you and I were tight once, as I recall.”

  That was the way he remembered that night under the dock, the last night of the summer? They’d been two hormone-driven teenagers who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. He’d had a few beers. She’d had one powerful one. And to inexperienced Alexis Foster, Daniel had been much more than a friend. He’d been the brightest star in her summer, maybe in her entire life, and he’d just reduced the most important emotions she’d ever experienced to the word tight. He might have been talking about teammates on a sports roster.

  She put her car in gear before she said something much too meaningful for this moment. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Daniel.”

  “That would suit me fine. I’ll be looking for you.”

  * * *

  “WOW, COULD YOU have made it sound any worse?”

  Daniel didn’t even realize he was speaking out loud until his father said, “What’s that, son? Couldn’t quite get that.”

  He tried to put his asinine comment about being tight with Alex from his mind as he walked to the counter. He hadn’t been talking to his best friend from high school, for heaven’s sake. He’d been crazy about Alex.

  “Nothing important, Pop,” he said. “I was just giving myself a personal evaluation.”

  Gus chuckled. “How’d you do?”

  “I failed.”

  “I doubt that.” Gus continued flipping through the day’s invoices. “She’s a pretty one, that Alexis Foster,” he said.

  “It’s Alexis Pope,” Daniel said.

  “Oh, of course. I always remember her coming in here with her daddy. I don’t usually keep up with the social news around here, but her marriage was something of a surprise. She married a colleague of her father’s, much older man. And I remember your mother commented that they didn’t have a big hullabaloo of a wedding like you’d think for a Foster girl.”

  “Strange you or Mom never mentioned that marriage to me. I even asked about Alex a couple of times.”

  “I guess it slipped our minds,” Gus said. “Or we didn’t think you’d be interested. Besides, the wedding seemed downplayed to me.”

  That was odd, Daniel thought. Most girls wanted big weddings, didn’t they? Why did Alex make up her mind and tie the knot within weeks?

  “What else did you hear, Pop?”

  “Not much, but a few months back, a customer mentioned that the doctor had died. A shame. That pretty lady won’t wither long on the vine, though. Some lucky man will snap her up.”

  Daniel thought of one man who had tried and failed. Back then he’d been a struggling college kid who earned tip money by catering to the people who had it. Maybe Alex had appreciated his charm, but she sure tossed him aside when something better came along. All the charm in the world couldn’t compete with a successful doctor on his way up the ladder.

  Going back to his inventory of the warehouse, Daniel continued on this train of thought. Besides having his heart ripped out and stomped on, he had been disappointed in Alex. He hadn’t pegged her as the kind of girl who would marry for money or prestige. Meeting her again after so long, she still didn’t seem that way. Sure, she was classy and cultured and could hold her own in any crowd, but there was still some of that shy, eager small-town girl who had shown up at Birch Shore that day. So why had she married the much older doctor?

  Maybe Daniel had pegged Alex wrong. Maybe he’d pegged himself wrong, too. Maybe he hadn’t been as charming as he’d thought back then. Maybe she’d seen something in him that summer that made her rethink her interest after they parted.

  He shrugged his shoulders, trying to shake off his memories of Alex. Did it really matter why she broke up with him? His father was probably right. Soon enough, some lucky man would snap her up. Maybe another doctor.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ON THURSDAY MORNING Alex quie
tly entered her mother’s cheerful, serene room and padded across the plum-colored carpet, past the single bed where her father had slept every night for over four years. Pulling up a delicate, petit point French armchair, she settled next to the large double bed where Maggie Foster lay peacefully.

  “Good morning, Mama,” Alex said. “Daddy’s gone to the office, Rosie’s out doing the marketing and your nurse won’t be here for another hour, so it looks like you’re stuck with me.”

  The heavy lids over Maggie’s dull blue eyes lowered for a moment, and Alex could almost convince herself that her mother was trying to clear her vision to see her better. “That’s right, Mama. It’s me, Alexis.”

  She cradled her mother’s palm in hers and imagined a smile curving the rosy lips that had kissed her forehead so many times in the past. Alex stared at her mother’s hand. Heavily veined now, the skin was still subtle and smooth, the fingers delicately bent at slender knuckles. If only those fingers could contract and grab hold of Alex’s hand like they used to.

  If Maggie’s mind hadn’t started to fail her, slowly and deliberately beginning six years ago, she would probably still be the vibrant, energetic and caring woman who had stood by her husband’s side and raised three daughters. Today her heart was strong, her vital signs healthy. But her mind, once merely confused, was now mostly dormant, like a pond that once rippled in a breeze but now remained still as a mirror.

  “I’m kind of in a pickle, Mama,” Alex said. “It’s about what happened eighteen years ago, the thing I told you and Daddy about.” Alex sighed, gathered her thoughts as if the words she was about to say really mattered to the person hearing them. “You and Daddy were both so caring when I came to you with my problem. You didn’t pressure me to tell you the name of my baby’s father. You let me keep my secret. And you didn’t argue when I said I wanted the baby.

  “I loved you for your understanding then, and I still love you for it today.” Drawing a deep breath, Alex continued. “But I saw him, Mama. I saw Lizzie’s father. I never expected to, and now I don’t know what to do. He’s a decent man. He’s accomplished and well liked and—” Alex let a small smile precede her next words “—I have to say he’s quite good-looking in that tall, dark and handsome way we Foster women have always been drawn to.”

  Alex leaned closer to the bed and lowered her voice. “The thing is, Mama, Lizzie has met him, too, and she likes him. So you can see what a muddle this all is. Lizzie misses Teddy so much, which is why this is so hard. If only things were different. This man could never take Teddy’s place. No one can fill the void left by Teddy in Lizzie’s life. And even if it were possible, I can never tell her. Not now. Not ever. Lizzie would never forgive me.”

  Alex scrubbed away a tear she realized had spilled onto her cheek. “I thought I was doing the right thing all those years ago. This man...and I still won’t tell you his name...” Alex chuckled at the absurdity of her words.

  “He wasn’t a Fox Creek boy, not that it would have mattered to you and Daddy. He came from a good middle-class family. His parents both worked and he had a job at his father’s place from the age of thirteen on. He was his family’s pride, their hope for the future. Circumstances weren’t as easy for him as you and Daddy made them for me. He scrimped and saved for college and now has made a name for himself. He couldn’t have done that if I’d saddled him with a baby, and I have a pretty strong hunch that he wouldn’t have allowed Daddy to support him.”

  She gently squeezed her mother’s hand. “He wouldn’t be where he is today if I’d made him marry me, Mama. In fact...and this is what hurt the most at the time... I don’t believe he even loved me, at least not the way you and Daddy taught us about love. Oh, he liked me well enough. He even called a few times. But the bottom line is, I screwed up, Mama. One time, but I’ll never be sorry. Not as long as I have Lizzie. I would do anything to keep my daughter’s love and respect.”

  She bent over the mattress and kissed her mother’s cheek. “Thanks for listening, Mama. You always do, and even if you don’t know it, it always helps. I know I can never make this right, not with Lizzie, not with Dan...” She stopped herself. “I would lose too much, more than I already have, and I can’t risk it.”

  As if hearing her words for the first time, Alex paused before saying, “Does this seem selfish to you, Mama? Maybe it is, but Lizzie is all I have left.” She thought of Daniel and realized that he would probably never be more to her than a faded memory from her past. “And all I’ll ever have,” she added.

  Alex stood and went to the window. “Jude is riding this morning,” she said. “She is beautiful on that horse, Mama, just like you were. I think of the three of us, Jude is most like you, and I’m thankful every day that your light still shines through her.”

  She sat again in the chair, picked up a book and began to read aloud until the nurse arrived.

  * * *

  AT FOUR O’CLOCK Alex drove to the Red Barn Theater to pick up Lizzie. She no longer thought about avoiding Daniel. In the past week she’d realized that he could be anywhere, doing who-knew-what good deeds for the community and his father. He was on a monthlong hiatus from the senate, and she would have to adjust to seeing him around the area.

  Like she did when she entered the theater.

  Her breath caught. In faded jeans and a T-shirt, he looked so like the boy she once knew. Only today he wasn’t wearing the ball cap, and his hair, slightly long for a politician with aspirations, reached to his crew neck and fell over his brow. Maybe this was his idea of “hiatus hair.” Whatever, it worked, and Alex reminded herself to remain aloof.

  “Hi, Mom!” Lizzie called from the stage, where she was stapling material to a backdrop. Alex never knew her daughter was adept with a staple gun, but then, Lizzie probably never knew that herself until now.

  Alex stayed at the back of the theater and waved. Daniel looked up from a project he was working on, smiled and continued with his job. He didn’t call out to her. Maybe he’d gotten the message yesterday. That was good, wasn’t it? So why was Alex disappointed?

  Lizzie put down the stapler and came off the stage. “I tried to call you,” she said when she reached Alex. “I wanted to ask you if I could stay later today. We’re all sort of in a groove here with the set. I’d like to help out.”

  Alex took her phone from her pocket and checked the screen. Yes, Lizzie had tried to call and somehow Alex had missed it. “How much longer do you want to stay?” she asked.

  “Probably nine or so.”

  “So long? But dinner...”

  “It’s no problem. Glen is going to order pizza.” She leaned close. “And besides, Daniel just got here a few minutes ago, and he’s promised to give me some acting lessons later.”

  Alex couldn’t keep her attention from darting to the stage again. Daniel was deep into his work and didn’t look up. She might not even have been there.

  “Isn’t he just the coolest guy?” Lizzie said. “So handsome.”

  Alex forced her gaze back to her daughter. Lizzie and Daniel together another five hours? So not a good idea. “I wouldn’t know about that. What I do know is that I’m not too keen on going home for five hours and then coming back out on these dark roads to pick you up.”

  “Oh, please, Mom. Glen says Daniel is the best. He can really help me with my part. You have to let me stay.” Lizzie smiled in that little-girl way that always earned her mother’s sympathy. “Can’t Auntie Jude ride out here with you later so you won’t be alone?”

  Now Alex felt like a simpering weakling. “I won’t need Jude. I’ll come back. But be outside at nine. I don’t want to have to come in after you.”

  “I’ll be ready. And thanks. Can you imagine? A former actor and a state senator helping me? It’s way cooler than anything!”

  It’s downright scary, Alex thought. Introducing Lizzie to Glen had seemed such a good
idea. She didn’t know she’d also be introducing her little girl to her fa— Don’t go there, Alex.

  Thankfully, Lizzie had always had a good head on her shoulders, but Alex felt she had to say something now. “Just don’t lose sight of your future, young lady,” she said. “When the summer is over, it’s over. No more acting gigs, no more hanging out in theaters. It’s college time.”

  “I know that!” Lizzie darted away, heading back to the stage. “See you later, Mom.”

  Alex returned to her car. A sinking feeling settled in her stomach as she started the engine. Her daughter had just called her biological father the coolest guy. Hadn’t Alex thought that herself about Daniel some years ago? This was going to be a long five hours and an even longer few weeks.

  * * *

  AT NINE O’CLOCK Alex pulled into the theater parking lot. Her daughter and Daniel were sitting on a flower box next to the front door. A single light illuminated their faces. The only other car in the lot was a Ford SUV, probably Daniel’s. Glen and the other volunteers had obviously gone home. Alex stared at the two of them a moment while trying to control the pounding of her heart.

  The similarities astounded her. Both dark-haired and with almost olive complexions. Both with strong, wide shoulders as if they could build sets for the world. Both with those incredibly deep green eyes. Both of them good-natured, helpful, charismatic. And each of them could be deeply hurt if they knew the truth about each other. The sight of them on that flower box, their heads together, their hands animated in conversation, was enough to make a lying mother spin out of control.

  Not now, Alex, she told herself, opening the car door. No spinning allowed.

  She walked up to the flower box and was greeted by both her daughter and Daniel.

  “We were just talking about ways to make the Wells Fargo Wagon scene more authentic,” Lizzie said. “Daniel has such wonderful ideas.”

  “Don’t give me too much credit,” he said, chuckling. “I’m just enjoying using my hands again and not having to decide policy for a few weeks. Besides...” He smiled fondly at Lizzie before switching his attention to Alex. “Your kid here is the one with the hammer skills. If she doesn’t pursue a career in acting, she can join a set-building crew.”