Exposed (Free Falling)

by Raven St. Pierre

  “Oh…well that was sweet of him. He really seems to be trying,” she replied sympathetically, knowing to tread lightly when it came to this subject matter. “I have a feeling you two will work it out. Watch.”

  Her optimism is usually infectious, but not this time. Her turmoil with her own father only solidified my belief that not all parental relationships were salvageable.

  “Yeah…maybe,” was my only response.

  “Well, listen, I’ve gotta go hard in the paint to get this article on Sherry’s desk, but I’m gonna call and check in on you as soon as I take lunch, k?”

  I smiled a little and reared back in my seat again, nodding like she could see me. “Okay.”

  “I love you, Anthony Hahn, my fiancé.”

  I chuckled at the corny statement and so did she. “I love you, too.”

  We ended the call and I expected for my thoughts to be on Kira now, but that wasn’t the case. Almost instantly, I revisited the same images of Sam that prompted me to call Kira as a distraction in the first place. The one of us waking up side by side in her bed was now stuck in my mind and I sighed heavily, realizing that I could still feel her skin against my hands and smell her sweet scent lingering in the air.

  Terrell’s plea came back to mind, but I quickly dismissed it. There was no way in hell I’d call her – not after all this time, not even to ‘clear the air’, or whatever he said. One thing I’d learned over the years is that Sam and I are better off left in the past. She clearly felt the same way seeing as how our current arrangement was all her doing.

  We were living proof that no matter how strong your feelings are for a person, that doesn’t always mean that you’re meant to be. She and I simply weren’t written in the stars and I was glad that I was finally able to accept that.

  Chapter Three

  Sam

  Twice, I double-checked the side pocket of my purse for my and Jason’s plane tickets. Granted, Boston was less than a three hour drive away, but neither of us felt like spending a better part of our morning driving. A thirty-five minute plane ride sounded much more appealing.

  Maisha had everything all planned out. At noon, the entire bridal party was due to meet in a small banquet room of the hotel she’d booked for us. There’d be a meet and greet there with light refreshments, and then we needed to head over to the church for rehearsal. The wedding would take place the next evening at 5:00 pm, followed by the reception. Sunday morning would be a quaint farewell breakfast at her and Terrell’s house before the newlyweds bid us all adieu and boarded a plane headed for the Bahamas. Just thinking about it all had me feeling like taking off work Monday was a good idea. Being on the go all weekend would surely leave me exhausted.

  In my last session with Dr. Gill, we discussed the idea of AJ and me speaking again. I explained that I wasn’t opposed to saying a quick ‘hello’, but especially given the fact that he was newly engaged, I didn’t think it was a good idea. She didn’t agree, but respected my opinion all the same.

  Jason’s ringtone distracted me from my thoughts.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, babe. I already called your cab. It should be there in ten.”

  I zipped my last bag and rushed it to the apartment door to set it beside the rest of my luggage. “Ok, I’m ready. You headed out now?”

  In the background, I heard Jason telling the driver his destination, which answered my question.

  “Yep, I’ll wait for you out front.”

  Grabbing my keys and purse, I nodded. “Ok. See you in a few.”

  We ended the call and, right on time, the cab pulled up to the curb outside my building. The short, African-American man driving stepped out to load up my suitcases. Jason had already told him where I needed to go, so I climbed in and watched the tall buildings pass by as we drove. As promised, he was waiting out front to help with my bags. In no time, we were checked in and seated on our flight just waiting for takeoff.

  “You alright?” Jason asked, gripping my hand when he did.

  It wasn’t until he spoke that I realized how tense I was. Forcing a smile, I replied, “Yeah…I’m fine.”

  He studied my expression for a moment and then let my response be good enough. As my gaze drifted out the window, I tried to steady my breathing. It wasn’t lost on me that as soon as this plane landed I would be about an hour away from what I’d dubbed “the moment of truth” – my first encounter with AJ in five years.

  I’m honest enough with myself to admit that I was feeling some type of way about meeting his fiancé, too. The only thing Terrell or Maisha had ever mentioned about her was her name – Kira. I tried to imagine AJ with someone else, and could never seem to do it. I couldn’t imagine him holding some other girl’s hand, kissing her…touching her. Whenever I questioned myself about what created this mental block in my head, I reasoned that it was because of the sense of being the only woman that existed that I always had when it came to him. He made it seem as though he couldn’t even see other women – another reason I felt so guilty about my reaction in the past, thinking he’d cheated. Even if the letter I’d just found hadn’t told me so, I realized quite some time ago that AJ was nothing but faithful to me. However, being young and dumb, I couldn’t accept that as the truth at the time that it actually counted.

  Water under the bridge, though, right?

  The short flight came to an end and everyone was up and moving about grabbing their carryon bags from the compartments above. Everyone except for me. I was in such a daze that I barely even noticed that we’d touched down.

  “Ready, Babe?” Jason asked with a smile.

  I nodded and followed behind him, trying to force myself to snap out of it. After claiming our luggage and retrieving the rental car that we’d reserved, we drove the short distance to the hotel. I was trying to recall the calming techniques Dr. Grill went over in my session, but none of that was working now.

  Jason startled me from my thoughts when his hand came to rest on my thigh. “Hang tight. I’ll go check us in and then come back for you,” he offered. Our lips touched briefly before he left me alone in the car to breathe through my anxiety. I waited until he’d disappeared inside the building to let myself freak out.

  “Get a grip, girl,” I whispered to myself. Grown women aren’t supposed to freak out over having to be around an old high school boyfriend. I mean…that’s basically what AJ’s and my relationship boiled down to, isn’t it? I tried to gather my thoughts.

  This wouldn’t be so bad, right? It was just one short weekend and then “boom” it’d be over.

  Shaking my hands to bring the feeling back to them, I noticed a woman parked in a car beside ours from the corner of my eye. After I caught her staring, she gave a tight smile, and then quickly turned away. However, when she did…something about her seemed so familiar. An uneasy feeling settled in and I studied her features. As soon as I made the connection, my heart nearly stopped cold in my chest. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that the Asian woman in the parking space beside me…was Reina? I’d remember that face anywhere, but…

  My stomach twisted and turned, but I ignored it, deciding to look away. The sound of Jason’s car door opening made me whirl my head in his direction. I hadn’t even noticed him approaching.

  When Jason started the engine, I questioned him with my eyes. “We’re leaving?”

  He shook his head. “Nope, I’m just parking in the back.”

  I nodded, but said nothing as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing. The first thought that crossed my mind was that she had to be here with AJ, but I knew for a fact that his fiancé’s name was Kira. However, my eyes were not playing tricks on me. I had Reina’s face memorized. You don’t forget the face of the chick you catch naked in your boyfriend’s bed.

  Ex-boyfriend’s bed.

  Jason put the car in reverse and braced his hand on my headrest. The wheels began to roll backwards as he pulled out of the space and my eyes lifted toward the front entrance of the hotel w
hen the gold-trimmed doors shot open. It was like stepping into a time machine as my gaze settled on the one ghost from my past that I still hadn’t managed to outrun. My palms went sweaty and a chill ran down my spine. AJ stared at the set of keycards in his hand for a second or two and then shoved them in the back pocket of his jeans. I froze when the next thing those eyes settled on was me. He did a double-take, and instantly his pace slowed.

  There’s no word in the dictionary in any language to describe the feeling that washed over me. I hadn’t seen this man in years, yet in that moment it was almost like no time had passed at all. He was still the same old AJ that I remembered and thought of often. He’d changed some – bulked up a little in his arms, shoulders, and chest…which I tried not to stare at. It was like reliving that moment at the dance when we locked in on one another right before he left Leila standing in the middle of the dance floor and came to me instead. That carelessly stylish mess of black hair on top of his head brought a fleeting memory of running my fingers through it, and I wished the thought away, practically smelling his fragrance from where I sat. The way he stared at me right then and there had my pulse racing a mile a minute. It was mostly nerves, though, I figured.

  Like a switch flipped and the Earth began to rotate again, I cleared my throat and AJ snapped out of the daze as he looked toward the woman sitting in the passenger side of his car. Before Jason could realize what’d just happened, I closed my open mouth and turned to look out my window casually.

  “You wanna grab something to eat before we get settled?” Jason asked, touching his foot to the brake while waiting for my answer.

  Even if I had been hungry, seeing AJ stole my appetite. “No, I’m good. There’s gonna be food at the meet and greet anyway,” I replied distractedly.

  “That’s right. I almost forgot we had to go to that,” he said to himself, rounding the corner to our new parking space. The locks disengaged and Jason was out and coming around the back of the car to open my door for me. When I stepped out, I subconsciously scanned the lot.

  “I can manage our bags. Mind opening the door, though?”

  Still looking around, I went to do as Jason had asked. We walked the white tiled hallway that led to the elevators, and I stood there with my arms folded over my chest, reliving the moment from the parking lot. I couldn’t shake the feeling of static coursing through my body, manifesting itself as a thin layer of goose bumps lining my skin. Just knowing that AJ was in the vicinity had me all out of sorts.

  Two sets of footsteps were approaching from behind and I wouldn’t even turn around. I couldn’t see that it was AJ, but I felt him, like the air around me changed all of a sudden. A gentle, high-pitched laugh accompanied the padding of soft-soled shoes as they came closer.

  My entire body stiffened. Standing across from me, facing the couple, Jason raised his brow at my off-kilter behavior. Clearly, I was being more awkward than I realized, so I tried to loosen up. Taking a deep breath first, I spun on my heels and met the smiling face of Kira…or Reina…or whoever she was, as her eyes came to rest on mine. Her smile slipped away almost instantly. Beside her was a tall, familiar frame that I refused to acknowledge with even a glance.

  I found myself studying her features. She stood at about 5’1 or 5’2, wore clean-cut bangs that edged just above her brow, while the rest of her brown tinted locks were swept up into a messy bun on top of her head. She forced herself to look away from me as she stood there clutching that toned, tan arm of the man standing beside her. I cleared my throat, unable to admit that it was AJ. Seeing them together stirred an emptiness from somewhere deep within me. I looked at Jason and forced a weak smile or my true emotions would’ve spill out through my expression.

  Saved by the bell.

  The elevator dinged and Jason let me step inside first, followed by AJ’s fiancé. She clearly knew who I was; I gathered that just from her body language. However, I wasn’t sure if Jason had made the connection yet.

  AJ cleared his throat and stood motionlessly as the numbers rose….2…3…

  It felt like an eternity had passed before the doors finally opened. Jason couldn’t get out fast enough for me. As soon as he was off the elevator and in the hallway, I nearly jumped out behind him, never looking back as the doors closed behind us and we were alone again. We found our room number in silence, and it shocked the hell out of me when Jason asked, “See that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  I looked at him as I passed through the threshold of our room. When I didn’t respond, he chuckled a little and added, “Seeing AJ?”

  My heart skipped a beat. “You knew?”

  He shot me an incredulous look and set our bags down on the luggage rack. “Kinda hard to miss your girl’s name inked on some other dudes neck.”

  My cheeks felt hot again. I honestly thought AJ had gotten rid of that thing years ago. Especially when I got wind of how serious he was about his new girl.

  “Did his girl recognize you?” He asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure she did. Maybe she’s seen a picture or something.”

  Jason was thoughtful while slipping his shirt down his arms and tossing it over the back of the chair. “Well, now all you have to do is actually speak to the guy and all will be right with the world.”

  Jason was no stranger to the guilt that I carried for leaving Charleston like a woman on the run. He understood why I did what I did, but he also agreed with Dr. Gill that in order for me to heal, I needed to face my demons – apologizing to AJ, or even just speaking to him to ease some of the torment that I put myself through.

  “You sound like Dr. Gill,” I said with a smile, digging my makeup bag out of one of my suitcases.

  “I knew that was why you’ve been dreading this. Ever since you found out that he was actually in the wedding, your whole attitude about it changed.”

  He was right about that. Something about knowing how closely AJ would be involved in the hoopla surrounding the ceremony – the meet and greet, the rehearsal, the reception, the farewell breakfast – it left me feeling uneasy. However, in that moment, realizing how supportive Jason planned to be in all this, I relaxed a little.

  We freshened up for the meet and greet taking place downstairs shortly. I picked out a pair of gray, dress shorts that were shorter than I remembered them being, topped off with a white boyfriend-style blouse, leaving it unbuttoned a little at the top so that my layered silver necklace could show. I slipped on the matching gray blazer, stepped into a pair of silver sandals, and was ready to go.

  Jason touched the soft curls I’d just tightened up with my flat iron and smiled. “You look…hot…like ‘maybe we should stay in’ hot,” he said, smiling wider now. Those smoldering green eyes of his always reveal more of their gold tint when he’s in the mood to go for some.

  Shaking my head, I shoved against his back, ushering him toward the door. “Don’t start with me, Jay,” I warned playfully.

  I stood beside him while he checked to make sure the door had latched properly, and then we walked the hallway hand in hand. He looked me up and down a few more times when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, forcing me to fight back a smile when he did. We waited silently for the elevator, and I was pleased that my nerves were at least less frazzled than before…for now, anyway. Maybe it was because the initial “reunion” was out the way for AJ and me, or maybe it was knowing that Jason had my back no matter how it all went down. Thinking about it, I squeezed his hand and stepped into the elevator behind him.

  The lobby was much more crowded than when we arrived. Chatter and laughter filled the air as Jason and I stepped forward. Across the seemingly endless sea of people, I spotted Maisha. Her bright smile warmed my heart. It’d been almost a year since I’d seen her and my self-professed big brother, Terrell; however, it didn’t feel like that much time had passed because we still managed to talk a few times a week.

  “Oh my gosh, girl! You look amazing!” She screeched, checking my outfit out from head to toe. �
�You been working out?”

  I blushed. “Uh, no. Who has time for that these days? However, I do pretty much walk everywhere I go, living in the city.”

  She nodded knowingly. “Well, clearly, it’s working for you.”

  I smiled again when she leaned in to hug me. When we separated I couldn’t believe how happy she looked! She was practically glowing!

  “Terrell’s gonna want to see you. He’s inside talking to my brother,” she said, pointing just through the double doors. I took Jason’s hand and wouldn’t look at anyone around me as we made our way to the front of the room where I saw Terrell. However…that feeling of electricity made the hairs on my arms stand on end, so I had a pretty good idea who else was in the room.

  Terrell hadn’t noticed me yet. When I touched his arm lightly to get his attention, I was taken into his constricting embrace the next instant. It was pointless telling him I couldn’t breathe; he already knew and just didn’t care.

  “Y’all made it!”

  I smiled. “Of course! You had me at ‘free food’,” I joked.

  Noticing Jason standing behind me, Terrell reached past and shook his hand with a polite, “Whassup, man?”

  Jason nodded. “Not much. Ready for the big day?” He asked.

  Terrell shrugged, laughing a little. “If I’m not, I will be come tomorrow. I put too much money into this,” he replied.

  I smacked his arm like Maisha would’ve done if she’d heard, shaking my head as I finally allowed myself to scan the room. The smile faded from my face when I locked in on AJ’s deep stare already set on me. Feeling the temperature rise in the room a few degrees, I ran my fingers through my freshly-highlighted hair, letting it settle on my shoulders as I sighed. Just like old times, realizing that I’d caught him watching me didn’t make him look away.

  His fiancé was still attached to his arm, mingling with a couple standing nearby, but AJ wasn’t paying the conversation any attention. To my surprise, his focus was completely on me. I cringed at the thought of how he must hate me. I imagined him standing there thinking of all the things he wanted to say to me as soon as he had the chance – cuss me out for making a move that had to seem completely selfish to him at the time.