Exposed (Free Falling)

by Raven St. Pierre

  She continued to observe the changes that she saw in me from the previous Wednesday.

  “Well, I think that’s amazing. You look ten times more at ease than I’ve ever seen you. Seriously.”

  I didn’t know what to say, mostly because I didn’t know how I felt about AJ being the only factor that had changed between then and now.

  “So, what’s going on with Angel’s move? How many days left until you’re on your own?”

  “When Jason and I got back in town Sunday night she was basically all packed up,” I smiled, feeling genuinely happy for my cousin and the love that she’d found. “She spent the weekend making some aesthetic changes to her boyfriends’ place and she says she’ll be completely moved in by this coming Saturday!”

  Dr. Gill nodded. “And I must say, you really do seem like you’re going to be okay with this.”

  I thought about her statement and agreed. “I am. I’m turning her bedroom into a studio so I can start painting again.”

  “I think that’s an excellent idea!” Dr. Gill chimed in.

  I nodded in agreement.

  “So, I take it that this means you’ve made your final decision about taking Jason up on his offer?”

  I let out a sigh and honestly felt somewhat guilty for being so set in my ways on this one, but I couldn’t deny that the idea of moving in with him just wasn’t what I wanted. It had absolutely nothing to do with him or my feelings for him; it was just simply that I wasn’t ready.

  With a hint of a smile, I answered Dr. Gill’s question. “I have, and I’m looking forward to being on my own.”

  She smiled at that.

  When my session was over, I hailed a cab as usual, and answered my mother’s phone call without even having to look at the ID.

  “Hey, Ma.”

  “So…how was it?” she replied.

  I smiled. “Fine. Actually, better than fine.”

  “Really? You sound good.”

  I climbed inside the cab while I answered. “I think it’s just this beautiful weather we’ve been having,” I lied, knowing that there were other factors contributing to my good mood. Looking up at the mostly clear sky through the open window, I smiled.

  “Are you headed back to work?” She asked.

  “Yep. I’m on my way there as we speak.”

  “Well, I won’t hold you up. Just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you,” she added, causing my smile to widen.

  “Miss you too,” I said back, trying to calculate how long it’d been since I’d seen her and Daddy. If my memory served correctly, they were here in the city roughly six months ago.

  “When do you think you’ll come visit again?” she asked. “Here in Virginia?”

  That question made my stomach drop and I didn’t respond.

  I think it was at that exact moment that my mother recalled the same memory that came into my mind. “No rush,” she amended. “I was just thinking it’d be nice if you dropped in.”

  There was silence between us for a while. “Yeah…we’ll see,” was all I said in return.

  The last time I came into town, right around the time Jason and I met two years ago, I ran into Antonio’s mother, Mrs. Martin, at the grocery store while I picked up a few things my mother needed. It took me the entire weekend to recover from the conversation that took place – the one where she accused me of everything from setting Antonio up or provoking him, to arranging to have him beaten up afterward.

  “Don’t worry about it,” my mother said sweetly, almost sounding like she felt guilty for bringing it up. “We’ll try to make it out there sometime this summer. Whenever your father is able to take off. Sound good?”

  I nodded like she could see me, still thinking about my last visit to Fairfax. “Sounds good,” I said back.

  As soon as the call ended, the driver stopped in front of my office building. I paid him and added a tip before stepping out onto the sidewalk. When I did, I stopped cold in my tracks. Right there, out in plain sight, was Jason. I closed the door to the cab behind me and watched as he smiled and placed something in the hand of a woman that I was pretty sure I recognized as our waitress from the lounge we visited the week before. Curious as to how this would play out, I folded my arms over my chest and just observed.

  Jason smiled a bit at the girl again and I recalled the way she’d flirted with him right in my face before. Flipping her hair behind her shoulder, she looked him over from head to toe when he walked away. He was nearly all the way to me when he noticed that I was standing there.

  “Oh, hey babe,” he said sweetly, placing a kiss on my cheek when he did.

  “Hey,” I replied dryly, not returning his hug.

  He stepped off and walked toward the building, holding the door open for me. When I didn’t move, he let it go. “What’s up?”

  I looked him in his eyes and cocked my head to the side. “Tell me I didn’t just see you give that girl your business card. That was the waitress from the other night, right?”

  Jason smiled and lowered his head. “It was. And what you saw was me networking.”

  I folded my arms over my chest and kept my eyes trained on him. “Networking, huh?”

  His smile turned into laughter. “Babe…I just ran into her and she mentioned that she’s on her way to meet her sister. They’re looking for a condo together. I gave her my card so I can help. Make a little cash? That is what I do for a living, you know,” he added, trying not to laugh again.

  He stared, still smiling, waiting for me to get my emotions in check. When he saw my expression soften, he leaned in and kissed me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get jealous,” he added, pulling me in by my waist even though I wasn’t responding to him physically. Once I realized that I’d overreacted, I leaned into him a little.

  Jason let me go and went to reopen the door to our office building, trying to hold in his laugh. We stood at the elevator and I gripped his hand when he laced his fingers with mine. Silently, we rode to my floor and he kissed me one last time before I took off, headed for my desk.

  Once I read through the three emails that I missed while I was out, I sat back and stared out the window while chatter and the regular commotion of the office went on around my cubicle. Laughing a little, I couldn’t believe I’d jumped to conclusions with Jason a short time ago. Knowing he’d reached his desk by this point, I dialed his extension. When he picked up, I tapped my pen against the surface of my desk.

  “Jason Fenelus,” he answered.

  “Soooo…I know a girl who needs to apologize to her man for thinking he was flirting with another girl. What you think he’d say if she said she was sorry?” I asked coyly.

  I could hear him laugh quietly through the phone. “I think he’d tell his woman that she doesn’t have to apologize, but to take a look in the mirror and ask herself if she really think’s he’d cheat on someone as beautiful as her.”

  I blushed and tried not to grin. “You accept then?”

  “I let it go while we were out on the sidewalk,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone

  “That’s why I love you.”

  He laughed again. “And here I was thinking you were with me for my good looks.”

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head. When someone stepped into his office talking business, I slipped off the phone with a rushed “bye” and then got back to work.

  There was a stack of paper on my desk that I couldn’t even see over, fabric samples awaiting my approval, and the light on my phone was flashing that I had new voicemail. Even all that wasn’t enough to dampen my mood. Dr. Gill was right; I did feel different. I hadn’t realized how heavy it’d been weighing on me that so much negativity still lingered between me and AJ until after it’d disappeared. Well…practically disappeared. We didn’t talk through any of the issues, but he kind of forgave me. And that was huge.

  I got my second wind and breezed through the paperwork and was out of the office by five on the dot. A little more tired than usual, I dragged myself ins
ide to the apartment, finding Angel sprawled out on the couch looking like she’d just finished running a marathon.

  I smiled at her. “What you been doing?”

  She wiped the sheen of sweat from her face before answering, “I just got done running the last box down. You didn’t see Lamar on your way in?”

  I shook my head. “Nope.”

  “You must’ve just missed him then.”

  “Last box? I thought you weren’t leaving until this weekend,” I inquired.

  She nodded and took another deep breath. “I wasn’t, but Lamar’s buddy who was supposed to let us use his truck this Friday and Saturday has to go out of town for his wife’s grandmother’s funeral. It was either get it all out today, or pay an arm and a leg to rent a truck from a moving company. Lamar called about an hour after I got to work, and we both had to cut out early.”

  I nodded and then looked around at my now half empty apartment. Most of the decorations were gone because they belonged to Angel. Trying not to let it show that I was a little emotional, I set my purse down on the table and sat.

  “So…you’re leaving for good…tonight?” I asked.

  She nodded and aimlessly scratched her arm. “Yeah…all my stuff is with him now. I’mma have to take off a few days from work so I can get organized; I don’t have much of a choice. Otherwise, I’ll be living out of boxes for weeks and I’m not about that life.”

  I smiled again, but felt my good mood slipping away. Angel noticed the look on my face and turned toward me while she continued to lie there on the couch.

  “Aww…I’m gonna miss you too, Sammy!”

  I shook my head at her and swiped away a tear. When she realized that I was crying, she got up and came to sit on the arm of the chair. Cradling my head, she kissed the top of my hair and I heard her sniffing too.

  “Now you’re making me cry!” She said, chuckling as she fought it.

  I rubbed her arm. “I’m happy for you. For real. I’mma miss you, though,” I admitted.

  She leaned away and looked me in my eyes. “We have to start having dinner and drinks together at least once a week. And I’m still gonna be coming by.”

  I nodded and felt embarrassed that she felt like she had to baby me. “I’m fine. Seriously.”

  She searched my face until she believed me. As soon as she nodded, she stood and straightened her shirt. She looked like she felt so guilty for leaving.

  “I have to go meet them at Lamar’s,” she said, motioning over her shoulder toward the door.

  I nodded. “Yeah, of course.” I stood from the chair and tried to look a little less pathetic. “I’ll shoot you a text or something later.”

  Angel hesitated for a second before grabbing her purse and keys and closing the door behind her for the last time as a tenant here. I stood there, looking around at the empty space that was now mine alone, and wondered how long it would take to get used to that feeling.

  *****

  “Whassup, punk,” Terrell said loudly into the phone.

  I set aside the book I was reading and lay my head against the pillow. “Don’t you have some honeymooning you should be doing,” I replied with a laugh.

  “Hey, Sam!” Maisha said in the background.

  “Hey, girl!” I smiled, realizing I was on speakerphone. “How’s the vay-cay so far?”

  “A blast,” Maisha replied. “We’re actually just in the room changing before we go have drinks on the beach. It’s supposed to be some moonlit serenade something-or-other the resort has going on. There’s gonna be a band and everything.”

  “That sounds amazing! Drink some for me too,” I added.

  Maisha laughed.

  “Quit hijacking my phone call,” Terrell interjected, talking to Maisha. The sound of him getting smacked on the back of his head followed, but he kept going like nothing happened. “So…guess who I talked to today.”

  I stared at my book, wanting to get back to it to see how the next scene played out. “Spill it.”

  “Ya’ boy!”

  Waiting for further explanation, I cocked my head to the side.

  “AJ,” Terrell clarified as if I didn’t know who he meant.

  “I figured as much, but why are you taking the time out of your night to tell me that?” I asked.

  It sounded like he was smiling. “Because…I called to check on him because I hadn’t heard from him since the night of the wedding, and him and ol’ girl didn’t show up for breakfast Sunday, so…”

  “Terrell!” Maisha and I yelled in unison when his answer dragged on.

  “Dang! If you’d let me finish, I was getting to my point. I was just thinking that you should give him a call to set something up.”

  Here he goes with this again. “Terrell, I told you I am not about to start calling that man. He has a life. I have a life. There’s no point”

  “Not even to give him a tour of the city?” He asked.

  Wait…what? “He’s visiting here?”

  “Nope! Next guess?” Terrell answered, sounding full of himself.

  My brain short circuited.

  “Oh my gosh!” Maisha interjected when she became annoyed by Terrell’s antics as usual. “He’s moving there, Sam.”

  Now I was sweating, had to toss my sheet back and everything. “What? When?”

  “This weeeeekennnnnd,” Terrell sang into the receiver.

  But that didn’t make sense!

  “I – I don’t…” My sentences slipped away and my thoughts went blank. “Why?” was the only word that would come out.

  “Got a promotion and the new job’s there.” After waiting for me to say something, Terrell chuckled at my silence. “Well, on that note, I’mma leave you to a sleepless night, ‘cause that’s what next on your agenda. Me? I got drinks and a mariachi band waiting down on the beach.”

  “We are not in Mexico, fool,” Maisha said to him under her breath.

  Terrell ignored her correction and went on. “So…tell my boy I said ‘WHADDUP’ when you see him.”

  I didn’t even say anything after that, just hung up.

  AJ was coming here? To live? I sat there staring at nothing in particular, unable to determine why this news had me all up in arms, but then I recalled the chemistry, the fire I felt between us just being in the same room that past weekend. How would it be knowing that we were going to be residing in the same city? Would we speak again? If we did, would we ever acknowledge what we felt, thinking we’d left that experience and the last of those feelings out there on the dance floor in Boston? However, now, fate was basically getting ready to drop all that had resurfaced that night off at my doorstep.

  What the hell?

  Chapter Eight

  AJ

  Something was definitely wrong, something more than just knowing that I’d be leaving in the morning. I came back into the bedroom from the closet and hung my ties in the garment bag. Kira’s face was completely void of expression. The last thing I wanted to do was leave D.C. on a bad note. She’d have to own up to whatever was eating away at her.

  Her eyes lifted to meet mine when I walked around to the other side of the bed, wrapping my arms around her waist when I got there. She managed to smile a little when my lips touched the side of her neck.

  “This distance isn’t gonna be easy for either one of us, which is why keeping the lines of communication open is so important,” I said, lips still pressed against her skin.

  She relaxed in my arms and let her fingers trail down my hand while I held her.

  “Tell me what’s on your mind,” I beckoned softly.

  There were a few seconds of silence before Kira worked her way out of my grasp and sat on the edge of the bed to face me. She kept her eyes trained on the floor.

  “I’ve been holding this in because I don’t want it to lead to an argument. That’s the last thing I’d want to happen before you leave.”

  Taking a deep breath, I sat in the armchair beneath the window. “If I promise that it won’t go the way
you’re thinking, will you tell me what’s on your mind?”

  She looked skeptical, but eventually I saw some of the tension leave her posture. Her foot tapped anxiously on the floor, though. She sighed and looked up with sadness showing in her eyes. “The close proximity….it’s a bit much for me,” was all she said.

  At first I didn’t understand, but then that same look of insecurity returned to her face – that look that she wore basically the entire time we were in Boston – and I put two and two together. Sam…

  I should’ve guessed that would be an issue for Kira. Honestly, knowing that Sam would be so close was a bit much for even me to digest, so I could only imagine what was going through Kira’s mind.

  “I’m listening,” I replied.

  She shrugged. “That’s it really. I’m just…having a hard time imagining living that close to the one girl you’d be with if you and I weren’t together. I mean…I know the history you two have – the insta-chemistry, losing the baby, all of it.”

  One of the downsides of Kira and I being friends for so long before we hooked up was that, in the beginning, I confided in her as a friend, not knowing that one day she’d be more to me than that. Now, she knew all the nitty-gritty details of my feelings and attraction to Sam. I even recalled a conversation that we had early on about me and Sam’s sex life – how often, how good it was, and what I missed about it. Just thinking about that now, I lowered my head in embarrassment. How could I expect Kira not to be uncomfortable?

  “How will you handle it if she tries to start coming around again? Like, calling and stuff.”

  I didn’t answer right away because I wasn’t expecting the question. “Well, I – I don’t really think she’d –“

  “But if she did, what would be your response? Would you tell me about it?”

  I frowned. “I’d put the situation to rest before she could even get any ideas,” was the response that I gave Kira, but in my mind, I had a hard time imagining that I’d be able to be that cold toward Sam even if I wanted to.

  “Would you tell me?” Kira repeated.