Exposed (Free Falling)

by Raven St. Pierre

  Kira fell silent for a bit. “Are you mad?” she eventually asked.

  I let out a breath. “No. I just want you to be careful.”

  She snickered. “Be careful? Reina’s bed-ridden and thousands of miles away. I’m pretty sure she’s harmless.”

  I scoffed at that. Reina was anything but harmless, but still, I kept my mouth closed. Kira mistook my silence, assuming I’d dozed off. When she dismissed herself from the call, I let her, not having any desire to continue the conversation about her sister anyway.

  I lie there in the dark reminiscing and thinking about the past and how different things might’ve been if Reina – and a host of other people and situations – hadn’t intervened. When I imagined someone familiar, someone other than Kira, standing beside me at the altar, I forced the thought aside and drifted off.

  The second my alarm went off the next morning, I hit ‘snooze’ and acknowledged what day of the week it was…Wednesday.

  It wasn’t lost on me that, today, the nice old guy who ran the kiosk down on the street was supposed to be doing me what had to seem like a very strange favor.

  What if he forgets to give Sam my message?

  What if she just chooses not to call?

  I ignored the questions that came, opting not to dwell on them while I showered. I’d go about this day like it was any other day, because basically it was. The only difference being that I’d set something in motion a week ago that would either sink or swim come noon today.

  While straightening my tie, I did all I could to ignore the guilt gnawing away at me. On the one hand, I couldn’t figure out why I was so pressed to talk to Sam, but on the other, I already knew the answer.

  Every time my eyes drifted to the clock on the wall while I worked, I calculated how much time until she would stop at Giuseppe’s for her ‘usual’, only to find that there was more waiting for her than just a smoothie this time. The thought of putting myself out there like that made me both excited and sick at the same time. I couldn’t seem to just leave well enough alone when it came to her. Just like back in the day, it was like…like we had to have some sort of contact.

  Not knowing her…

  Not talking to her…

  This simply wasn’t an option after she and I collided in the hallway our senior year. This time, I swore I wasn’t after anything more than her friendship.

  At least…I was pretty sure that was all I wanted.

  Chapter Eleven

  Sam

  My day started off so sucky that I was two seconds from calling Dr. Gill to cancel, instead opting to go back home and crawl into bed. However, when I got to Giuseppe’s kiosk ready to hand over what I owed him for my drink, things took a very interesting turn.

  “No worries, Miss. Someone’s already paid for it,” Giuseppe said with a grin.

  Confusion crossed my face as I looked around for whoever this mystery person was who’d covered my tab. When I didn’t see anyone standing nearby, I turned back to Giuseppe. “Huh?”

  He laughed a little and pulled out a napkin from beneath the register. “The man who paid for your beverage also asked me to give you this.”

  Okay, this is weird.

  I accepted the napkin and had to read the name written across the top twice. Words came to my mind and left again so quickly that I was rendered speechless.

  Giuseppe smiled when he saw my face. “You know him, yes?”

  It took me a moment to snap out of my daze. “Uh….yeah. I do, actually.” I moved closer to the booth. “Where…I mean, how…?” I had to stop and laugh a little because none of this was making sense. “How did you get this?”

  “Last week, after you paid me and walked off down the street, a gentleman rushed down from this building like it was on fire.” Giuseppe paused to laugh again while pointing toward the red, brick building behind me. “He tried to catch you, but you were gone already. When I told him that you’re here every Wednesday at this time, he paid for your smoothie and then asked me to give you this,” Giuseppe said, gesturing toward the napkin again.

  I stood there with my mouth open, reading the digits, and the name written across top, over and over again. My heart fluttered like only AJ had ever been able to make it flutter. A burst of heat crawled up my back, ending with a smile on my lips that I hadn’t invited to take up residency there. Finally lifting my eyes to Giuseppe, I thanked him.

  “No problem, sweetheart. Let me know how it works out.”

  I smiled at him again and continued down the street to Dr. Gill’s office. I’d never been late to one of my appointments before, but I was on this day. The extra push that it usually took to get me through her door at exactly noon wasn’t in me today. I walked as if time itself was going to stand still for me. All I could think about was him.

  “Ok, let’s start with whatever has you on cloud nine,” Dr. Gill said with a smile while I sat dazed on her couch.

  I looked down at AJ’s name written in blue ink and shook my head. “I um….” When words escaped me, I handed the napkin over to Dr. Gill.

  She examined it and read the name she’d heard me mention at nearly every session we’d had to date. When she met my gaze again, I tried to straighten my expression, but I couldn’t.

  What were the odds that AJ would find me here? And without Terrell or anyone else pushing us….he found me. My heart did that fluttery thing again and I looked down when I felt my cheeks burn hot.

  “Did you run into him somewhere?” She asked, handing the napkin back so I could place it in my purse.

  I shook my head. “No, we just…this just always seems to happen with us.”

  Dr. Gill was so silent that I had to look at her again to see why. She smiled. “What is it?” I asked.

  She shook her head at my naivety. “Now will you talk to the guy?”

  I laughed a little and then nodded, letting what felt like a lifetime of emotions flood my mind and body like a dam had broken.

  “Yes, Dr. Gill,” I smiled. “…I think I will.”

  *****

  I paced back and forth in front of the living room window – AJ’s number in one hand, cell phone in the other. I blew all the air from my lungs and looked at the clock. 10:00…I’d already let another hour slip past me.

  When I first got home, I managed to talk myself out of thinking that I was ready to do this. I showered, cleaned out my closet, and changed my bedding before accepting the fact that I really, really wanted to call him. Yes, I was stalling, but who could blame me? It felt like forever ago since AJ and I were close enough to bother talking on the phone and I hadn’t forgotten about the whole…’fiancé’ thing.

  I blew out a breath and kept reminding myself that Dr. Gill was thoroughly convinced that this was a good idea. That was the push I needed to dial the last digit.

  I sat while it rang, then stood, then sat again. I was in the middle of deciding that I was most comfortable pacing when he answered.

  “Hello?” He sounded unsure too, probably realizing that it was me by the area code that came up on the ID.

  …that voice, though.

  “Uh…hey,” was what tumbled from my mouth in response.

  Smooth, Sam…real smooth.

  There was silence on the other end and my heart thundered against my ribcage while I waited for him to speak. Maybe I was calling too late.

  “Oh my god; you weren’t asleep were you?” I started apologizing instantly, scolding myself for taking so long to grow a pair and actually make the call. I did a face palm and bit my lip when embarrassment froze me in place.

  “No, I’m up. It’s fine,” he replied casually. “I just…wasn’t sure if you’d call.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t exactly admit that these doggone nerves of mine were the reason it took me so long. “I had a few loose ends to tie up first,” I lied. “Time just got away from me.”

  He chuckled knowingly, but didn’t respond right away. A lull in conversation made me break out into a cool sweat.<
br />
  “It’s fine. It’s just good to talk to you again,” he finally replied after a few seconds passed.

  I shifted on the couch, anxiously. “You too.”

  “I hope it wasn’t too weird having that guy give you my number. I uh…I saw you out at his stand the other day, but by the time I got down there to speak, he said you were gone.”

  In my head I imagined AJ flying out the door like Giuseppe explained it – ‘like the building was on fire’. I smiled to myself, feeling some kind of way about him doing all that to get to me.

  “No, it wasn’t weird at all,” I blushed. “You live in that building by his stand?”

  “Yeah. Third floor.”

  “I hear those units are pretty nice.” At least that’s what Jason said.

  “I’ll let you know once I have some furniture in here,” AJ joked.

  I smiled uncontrollably and he hadn’t even said anything substantial. Just hearing his voice was enough to do the trick.

  “Are you liking the city so far at least?”

  He hesitated and then laughed a little. “Ehh…It’ll take some getting used to.”

  I remembered us discussing living here in the past; he wasn’t all that keen on the idea back then either. “It can be a little overwhelming at times. Give it a month and you’ll know the streets like the back of your hand.”

  He laughed again and replied with a doubtful, “We’ll see.”

  “The restaurants are amazing, though, right? Tell me you haven’t had some of the best food you’ve ever eaten since you moved here.” I leaned back into the couch and crossed my legs, trying to picture him at home doing whatever it was he was doing when I called.

  “I haven’t had the chance to really venture out. By the time I get off work, I’m beat. I’m almost embarrassed to tell you what my diet has consisted of lately.”

  I smiled again. “I’ll have to show you where some of my favorite spots are sometime,” I said without thinking, making it known that I had every intention of not only talking to him again, but seeing him too. Realizing what I’d done in this careless stupor he had me tangled in, I fell silent.

  “Sounds like a plan,” he replied without hesitation.

  My mind wandered and I scrambled for something to say. “Have you talked to Dee and Karl lately?”

  “Actually, no. Karl’s been pretty busy with work just like I have. We always seem to miss each other when we call. What about you? Have you talked to Dee?”

  I thought back to the last phone call she’d made to me – the one where she told me about AJ’s proposal. “No, it’s been a few weeks.”

  “I’m sure they’ll be here to visit sometime soon,” he added.

  “Yeah. Probably.” I remembered that this was just a friendly call and that I should at least ask about his….Kira. “Your, um…fiancé, how is she?”

  It burned my throat like you’d never believe to say those words aloud, but I was trying to be mature about this, wanting him to know that I was going to be respectful of the life he’d made for himself. I owed him that and then some for the way I’d left things.

  He hesitated – like, really hesitated. “Good. She’s good,” was all he said back, sounding a little shocked that I’d even asked.

  Should I not have said that? Did he think I was overstepping my bounds? I was just trying to –

  “And how’s…..what’s his name again?” AJ asked.

  I couldn’t tell if the oversight was made purposely, but either way I found it funny. Jason was so far from my mind, I too almost forgot his name. “Uh – Jason. He’s fine,” was the only answer I had because I’d ignored every single one of his phone calls for an entire week straight. All I knew was that he was breathing and still had use of enough of his fingers to dial my number. I cleared my throat to rid my mind of the lingering negativity that came when I thought about the wife and kid Jason kept hidden in Boston.

  Freakin’ bastard.

  “How’re your parents doing?” AJ asked, interrupting my train of thought.

  “Good! They’re doing some renovations to the house, so that’s keeping them pretty busy.” To be polite, I asked, “How about yours?” Honestly, I couldn’t have cared less about his father, but he and Mrs. Hahn were a package deal.

  The sound of AJ chuckling softly into the phone almost made me melt off the edge of the couch. I felt all giddy like I used to when we first started talking back in high school. I missed this. Missed...him.

  “My mother’s fine,” he replied, leaving Mr. Hahn out of the equation.

  I had to laugh too, wondering if he’d only done that for my benefit, or if they still had the same strained relationship they had back in the day. His father hated the idea of us being together ever since he discovered that I was black. He assumed that I wouldn’t be good enough for his son, and caused trouble in our relationship whenever given the chance. There was another lull in conversation as I drifted deeper into thought.

  AJ broke the silence with a request. “Tell me about your life.”

  The ambiguity of the question left me scrambling for a starting point. “Well…I work for an interior design firm. I’ve been there ever since I interned for them a couple years ago. Up until recently, Angel and I were sharing an apartment, but now it’s all mine.” I tried to smile so he wouldn’t sense the air of sadness that came along with acknowledging that she’d moved out. “Hmm…let’s see. I’m making her room into a studio,” I added, not sure if that was even interesting enough to share.

  “That’s cool. I always wondered if you still painted or not,” he interjected.

  I got stuck on the word ‘always’ – as in he’s thought about me often over the years.

  “Not as much as I’d like to, but that’ll all be changing in the next couple weeks, though. I should have everything set up by then, so…” I looked up at the time, fifteen minutes had already passed. “What about you? Do you still run every day?” I asked.

  “Not every day, but sometimes. I split my time equally between that and the gym.”

  Clearly. That explained the notable definition in his arms, back, and chest when I saw him in Boston. I replied with a casual, “Oh, okay.”

  “In fact, I was looking for a good gym I could walk to from my building. Got any recommendations?”

  I wracked my brain. “Mmm….nope. Sadly, the only ‘gym’ I’m familiar with is ‘Jim’ – the owner of the bakery next door. That man makes a mean cannoli, too, by the way.”

  AJ laughed, leaving me to swoon at the sound of it. “Well we can’t all look as good as you do without having to work at it.”

  The compliment went over my head at first, but when it came back around and my brain actually registered it, I got chills. “Actually, I could stand to get up close and personal with a treadmill, to be quite honest,” I countered, unsure how else to respond.

  AJ sighed heavily. “I beg to differ…but I’ll leave it at that.”

  Another hot flash. Oh, god, please don’t flirt with me. I’m not as strong as I like to think I am…

  Images of him up in my personal space while we danced a few weekends ago hit me square in the face and I could see, smell, and feel him like he was there in the room with me. I’d almost forgotten that I was on the phone until AJ spoke.

  “You know what? I haven’t eaten yet and I’m starving,” he announced. “You hungry? We should go grab something together – finish our conversation face to face.”

  My chest got tight. “Um….sure,” I replied, cringing at the sound of my voice going up an octave with excitement.

  “There has to be a good pizza place around here,” he added.

  I felt that same warm sensation overtake my cheeks as they tightened with a smile. “I can name twenty without even giving it much thought,” I bragged. My heart went to racing at the thought of getting to see him tonight. That was unexpected.

  Already I was trying to think of what I’d wear. I was halfway to the bathroom to plug in my ceramic curling iron
, thinking I should go ahead and call myself a cab now, when he added, “Mind if I come pick you up?”

  A very specific memory returned. I remembered the rush I used to feel sneaking out of the house to run to his car in the middle of the night. The hours we’d spent together in school never seemed to be enough, leaving us with no choice but to defy our parents’ rules and sneak off to our spot. Just like it used to do back then, my body nearly overheated and I smiled extremely hard.

  “Sure…I’ll be waiting.”

  *****

  A strapless, brown and navy maxi-dress with a denim jacket to cover my arms was what I settled on. I grabbed my gold hoops and necklace because Angel said gold accessories made the highlights in my hair ‘pop’. I put on a light layer of bronzer, lip gloss, and gold sandals. AJ texted about twenty minutes ago acknowledging the address I’d given him to my apartment and I was expecting him to arrive any second.

  When I heard the knock at the door, I froze in place.

  ‘This isn’t a date, Sam,’ I chanted internally, trying to settle my nerves. With my hand on the knob, I blew out a breath and then pulled the door open. There he stood, staring back at me, and I took him all in – his towering height, those smolderingly dark eyes….his body. I finally looked up at his face again after catching myself blatantly checking him out in his dark jeans and white t-shirt – looking casually sexy just like always. He looked and smelled absolutely amazing. When I realized that I’d practically undressed him with my eyes, I cleared my throat.

  This felt strange and familiar all at the same time. Strange because I never imagined that AJ, the man I wrongfully walked away from years ago and left to wonder what had become of me, would ever speak to me again, let alone did I expect him to be standing at my door. However, here he was, in the flesh.

  “Ready?” AJ asked after what felt like a lifetime.

  I couldn’t speak, just nodded my head. I turned to lock the door behind me and adjusted the strap of my purse over my shoulder before following him to the stairwell. We descended in silence and then walked out into the night air where his car sat parked along the curb. He unlocked it as we approached, stepping forward to open the door for me. As I passed in front of him, he stared down on me with a familiar look in his eyes. A look that I knew very well.