Jason called my name several times, gathering the attention of other patrons as I made my exit. The tears streaming down my face probably only made the scene more dramatic. I jumped in the first cab I saw and told the driver my address. Just as we were pulling off, Jason rushed outside and spotted me. Luckily, the driver had already taken off, leaving Jason standing there on the sidewalk with his hands in the air as I watched him from the rear window.
I forced myself to stop crying and turned back to face forward, upset about too many things to lay more blame on one situation than the others. As far as the Jason situation, while it hurt to end things, I was positive I’d done the right thing. There was no quick resolution to his family situation and I couldn’t get wrapped up in that. However, I couldn’t help but to hang on every word he’d spoken in regards to me being callous toward him in our relationship. Thinking about it, I tightened my arms over my chest. Was I progressing more slowly than I realized? Was I really still as damaged as he’d just made me feel like I was?
I paid the driver and walked to my building with my keys already in hand. When I made it up the stairs and to my door, Jason’s words were still playing on a loop in the back of my head like a broken record…’cold and emotionally unavailable’…apparently that’s who I was.
The door slammed behind me when I entered my apartment and dropped my purse on the table. Looking around at the bare walls – void of pictures and decorations – a wave of emptiness filled my senses and a chill ran down my spine. Feeling myself getting ready to spiral, I shook it off and refused to go there.
Instead of falling on the couch and staying there all weekend like I wanted to, I went to the bathroom and ran myself a bath as hot as I could stand it. I emptied the rest of my lavender bubble-bath into the water and lit every candle that I could find. After stripping down, I climbed in while steam continued to rise from the faucet. Sinking beneath the water, I inhaled the calming lavender aroma and felt some of the tension leave immediately; however, I knew this would only be a temporary fix. I’d have to find plenty to do this weekend to keep my mind off of my breakup with Jason….and off the hurtful things he’d said to me in the process.
The sound of my phone sounding off prompted an eye roll. My first thought was that it was Jason calling to apologize and lie again about not meaning the things he’d said. However, seeing AJ’s name on the screen canceled out the frustration and replaced it with excitement.
“Hello?”
“Busy?” He asked.
I sat up in the tub and leaned on my towel that hung over the edge. “Not especially. Just got home not too long ago.”
“I’m just getting off work myself.”
I smiled, wondering if I was the first call he’d made after leaving his office. “That’s right, you did say you’d be working late tonight. How’d that go?”
“Terrible,” he replied with a chuckle. “But better now that it’s over….and now that I’m talking to you,” he added.
My heart fluttered and I smiled. “Don’t start.”
“Start what?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“Flirting on the sly.”
He laughed and so did I. “What can I say? Old habits die hard.”
He wasn’t lying about that. I’d stopped myself several times from doing and saying inappropriate things while in his presence.
“So, I’m thinking about checking out this Italian restaurant I found today. Feel like hanging out for a while?” he asked.
I looked around at all my candles and wiggled my toes beneath the water. “Umm…right now?” Honestly, I dreaded the idea of abandoning my bath so soon, but I would do it in a heartbeat if it meant I’d get to see him.
“Well…I was gonna go home and grab my car first, then I’d come pick you up.”
When I hesitated, he spoke again, trying to sound indifferent. “If you don’t really feel like hanging out, it’s cool.”
“No, it’s not that,” I quickly interjected. “I was just…I’m in the tub and I-“
“Hmm,” he mumbled in the middle of my sentence, bringing a smile to my face with the way he said it.
“What’s that mean?” I asked.
He sighed, but ignored my question. “Just finish what you were saying.”
I chuckled again and continued. “I was just gonna ask if we could go a little later. Rough day,” I added, not feeling the need to reveal the fact that my lengthy relationship with Jason had just crumbled and died about an hour ago.
“Oh, okay. Well, you probably should just chill then. We can go some other time. No rush.”
I perked up. “No! I wanna go; I just need like an hour.”
“Seriously, I understand; I had a long day too. The more I think about, it’s kind of late anyway. Why don’t we just go for lunch tomorrow or something?” he suggested. “Got anything going on?”
I thought of how utterly empty my life was. The only plans I had were to paint from sunup to sundown to keep my mind from over-analyzing the events of the day. “No, I’m free. Lunch will be fine.” I was already smiling, thinking about getting to spend more time with him.
“Cool.” AJ paused. “Anything happen today that you wanna talk about? I’m a pretty good listener.”
My smile grew, hearing him show genuine interest in my day. However, I didn’t want to talk about my woes. “I’m fine. There’s just a lot going on at work and stuff,” I replied, letting the ‘and stuff’ statement cover the Jason situation.
“Well, if you decide to vent, you have my number.”
I nodded like he could see me. “I do.”
I listened while AJ thanked the cab driver who’d just driven him home, and then closed the car door behind himself. “I guess I’ll let you finish up your bath then,” he concluded, sounding like he’d spoken the words through a smile. “And for future reference, you have my number if you need help with that too.”
I blushed like crazy and was thankful he couldn’t see me. “You’re being bad tonight! What’s gotten into you?”
He sighed and chuckled. “I know. You’re right. I’ll stop.”
Who said anything about stopping?
“What happened to the nice guy I had dinner with last night?” I asked coyly.
AJ sighed and I could hear his hollow footsteps in the background, like he was making his way up the stairwell headed toward his loft. “Just…ignore me,” he laughed. “I’m in rare form today.”
Meaning he hadn’t gotten any in a while and it was starting to get to him.
I shifted beneath the water, trying to ignore the fact that I was in the same boat – not that I’d cared about sex all that much before he came back into the picture, but lately, every time I was around him, I had to force myself not to think about it.
“It’s cool. You get a pass,” I replied.
“Thanks. But be forewarned, I may need several.”
“Duly noted,” I laughed again. “So what’re you gonna do tonight since we’re postponing our plans?”
He sighed. “Mmm….I’ll probably just head to bed early. Well…head to my ‘air mattress’ early,” he restated with a laugh.
“Aww, poor baby. When’s your bed coming?”
Another sigh. “When everything else comes.”
Including Kira, I thought to myself. The sobering reminder left me with nothing else to say at the moment.
“It’s not as uncomfortable as you’d think, though. You’ll see,” he added slyly.
I raised an eyebrow and forced the laugh that almost slipped out to manifest itself as nothing more than a grin. “Really, AJ? ‘I’ll see’?”
He laughed at his less than subtle innuendo. “In my defense, I did say I’d require several passes during this conversation, right?” There was silence while I sank further down beneath the water. “And it’s not totally my fault,” he added. “Hearing you over there sloshing around in the tub isn’t helping.”
Now I laughed out loud. “First of all, I’m not ‘sloshing’, thank
you very much. Second of all, it’s not my fault that you called while I’m bathing.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “Yeah…I know. Leave it to us and our impeccable timing.”
I smiled at that. We did have incredibly eerie timing.
“Alright, well, we’re gonna have to change the subject now, or I’m gonna end up saying something far worse than I already have. I can feel it,” he stated, sounding amused and a little bit irritated all at the same time. Knowing what it was that he needed, knowing what I could do to him that would fix his mood, my heart sped up. I felt that same tingle between my legs that he’d induced the night before and squeezed my legs together again. I couldn’t help but to toy with him, though…just a little.
“Booooo!”
He laughed again. “Did you just boo me?”
“Sure did. I’ve never known you to hold back what you’re thinking.”
He scoffed and yawned at the same time. “I’m only holding back because you can’t handle it.”
“Whatever.”
“Didn’t you just tell me to stop flirting with you?” he asked.
“I just asked what’d gotten into you; I never said to stop. There’s a difference.”
That sexy laugh of his sent a chill down my back despite the fact that my bath was nearly scalding hot.
“If I start down that path – saying and doing whatever I want when it comes to you – I might not be able to stop,” he warned jokingly.
I stared at the candle flickering beside me and then said something that I knew I shouldn’t say. “Then don’t stop.”
He fell silent.
“I still think about it,” I admitted.
“About what?” It was clear that my previous statement still had him distracted.
“Us. Together.” He knew what I meant without needing to spell it out.
“So do I,” he confessed. “Often.”
“Since we’ve been hanging out?” I asked.
“No…since always.”
Hearing him say that he’d fantasized about our past trysts stroked my tattered ego after the things Jason had said to me earlier.
“Tell me what you miss the most,” I urged.
AJ sighed heavily and then laughed. “About the sex? That’s probably a bad idea.”
“Yes, about the sex. And am I gonna have to ‘boo’ you again?”
Another sigh and then he confessed what he wasn’t able to before. “If I had to pick any one thing that I couldn’t get enough of, I’d say it’s the sounds you made.”
I smiled and felt my body going through changes it hadn’t gone through in forever. Licking my lips at the thought of him touching me, I almost begged him to tell me more.
“What about you? What do you miss?” he asked
There were too many things to name – how sexy he used to make me feel with just a glance, the way he’d own my body while we made love. Oh….and let’s not forget orgasms. I missed that part most of all. My pride wouldn’t let me admit that that hadn’t happened since the last time we’d had sex, so I summed these feelings up by simply stating, “All of it.”
He got quiet again.
“Ok, I’ll leave you alone. You’re trying to be good now and I’m corrupting you,” I said, feeling like I should retreat before things got too far out of hand like he’d warned. “Even though you started it,” I added with a smile.
He laughed a little. “Now who’s punking out?”
“Whatever…”
AJ fell silent when I put the phone on speaker. “What’re you doing now?” he asked, unable to hide the genuine curiosity in his tone.
“Washing, so I can get out and go to bed, Nosy.”
Silence.
“You got quiet on me,” I said teasingly, reaching for my sponge. “You okay over there?”
“Been better,” he replied with a heavy sigh of frustration.
I laughed, imagining him sitting on the other end of the phone, hard as a rock thanks to our suggestive conversation.
He sighed into the phone again. “Is it terrible that I can envision exactly what you look like right now?”
I paused and stared at my phone incredulously. “AJ, you haven’t seen me naked in years, so I highly doubt – “
“Trust me…,” he interjected. “I’ve been staring at you enough these past few days to know what you’d look like without your clothes on.”
I burst out laughing. “Quit before you get yourself into trouble, Anthony Hahn.”
He chuckled. “I know you meant to scold me, but why does it sound hot when you use my full name? I think you should say it again.”
I rolled my eyes and fought back a smile, deciding not to say anything at all.
“Do you have any idea what I’d do to you if you’d let me?” His voice was so serious that I paused with my sponge at the back of my neck, imagining it.
“Nope. But why don’t you tell me,” I said by accident…kind of.
His tone was different when he answered – deeper, breathier. “Or….you could let me show you?”
At first I couldn’t even think, imagining the way his hands would feel against my skin, remembering what it was like to kiss him, but then I sobered up quickly. I didn’t want to mention Kira’s name out loud because it would ruin the mood, but in the back of my mind, I knew that neither AJ nor I were willing to put any of these words into action because of his relationship. However, he wasn’t acting like any of that mattered at the moment. All he seemed to be focused on was me.
“You should let me come over,” he managed to say without sounding like he was begging.
I rinsed my sponge and pulled the plug to drain my water. “Or not,” I said playfully while blowing out my candles. “Besides, you’re probably already stretched out on that super-comfy air mattress of yours,” I joked as I wrapped myself in my favorite purple towel and walked to my room to find some pajamas.
“Let me come over,” he said casually once again.
I looked at myself in the mirror over my dresser while I listened to the silence on the other end of the phone.
“AJ….”
When he didn’t respond, I cocked my head to the side. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” I quickly realized that our game had transitioned into a real-life dilemma. I honestly thought he was just talking junk for hell of it.
“I’m definitely not playing,” he laughed softly. “Is that a yes?”
His persistence did something to me.
“I….wait…come over for what?” I asked naively.
This amused him even more. “Because I’m tired of wondering.”
I ran my hand down the side of my neck anxiously while trying to deny how badly I wanted to give in and invite him over. The moment we shared in the hallway the night before confirmed that the chemistry I thought we revisited on the dance floor at the reception wasn’t a fluke. The spark between us was still very much present…making him coming here a terrible idea.
“Wondering what?” I finally asked, biding myself some time while searching for a substantial response.
AJ’s next statement made my heart stop cold in my chest, sending me into a frozen state of shock when he replied with a challenge of sorts: “Open the door and find out.”
Chapter Fifteen
Sam
Instantly, my eyes darted through the dark living room, to the entrance of my apartment. Sure enough, a shadow blotted out the sliver of light that should’ve been streaming beneath the door from the hallway. With silent footsteps, I crept to the window and peered down to the street below. Seeing AJ’s car parked beside the sidewalk gave me a hot flash.
“But….,” I stammered. “When did you…I thought…”
“Are you gonna let me in?” He asked, shutting me up instantly.
What the hell was he thinking coming here? Didn’t he know how bad this was?
Twice, I doubled back, thinking I should put clothes on first. Deciding not to leave him standing out there, I just re-secured my to
wel over my chest and crossed the living room. I snatched my ponytail-holder from my hair and shook out what was left of my curls – the few that my long workday and the steam from my bath hadn’t ravaged. My fingers lingered on the knob and my thoughts ranged from ‘leave the door closed and send him home – he’s engaged’ to ‘why the hell isn’t he already in your bed?’ I shivered and chewed my lip nervously as I opened the door and stared into the eyes of the one man who’d always been able to peel away my inhibitions and make me do his bidding.
There he was, hands braced at either side of the doorframe, looking like he’d just stepped off somebody’s runway right before heading over here to see me. My eyes trailed from the tie hanging loosely around his neck to that smile that’d been my undoing since I was a young, unsuspecting, teenage girl. This man was the embodiment of sex and I felt my legs getting ready to give way just at the sight of him.
I pressed the ‘end’ button on our call when I realized that I was still holding the phone to my ear and then the next sound I heard was that of my cell hitting the floor and my bedazzled case shattering to pieces. My hands were on top of AJ’s when he gripped the sides of my face and touched his lips to mine, kicking the broken case aside and only pulling his hand away long enough to slam my door shut behind him. His tongue wandered inside my mouth as a white-hot flame of lust stole every ounce of oxygen from the room.
I couldn’t breathe.
…didn’t want to.
All I needed to survive was this kiss.
My lips were his and he took them like he knew this to be a fact. I noticed that his hands were trembling despite how sure he seemed about being here…about kissing me. As badly as I’d wished I could just be in the moment, I couldn’t help but to think of all he was risking, all he’d built since I tore his world apart in the past. I reclaimed an ounce of the strength he’d stolen from me and pressed my hands to his chest, creating a few inches of space between us.
“What’re you doing?” I asked, breathless, staring at his lips through the darkness. I wanted more, but my subconscious was too loud to ignore.
Exposed (Free Falling) Page 18
