Exposed (Free Falling)

by Raven St. Pierre

  His eyes shifted as he searched for an excuse for his actions, still clasping my cheeks in his hands. The truth is, there was no excuse – not one that made what we were doing okay. AJ was simply overtaken by the same energy, the same magnetism that I’d been fighting since we reconnected at the wedding. I watched him, my hands still braced against his chest.

  When he breathed the words, “Kissing you,” I’d nearly forgotten the question I asked only a few seconds ago.

  Remembering, I blinked several times and refocused. “I mean, I know that, but…what about-“

  “Don’t say it,” he uttered softly, running his thumb over my dampened lips right before I would’ve slipped and said Kira’s name. “You want me to stop?” he asked.

  ‘No, don’t stop! I want this. I want you!’ was what I wanted to stay, but instead, I lied. “I just don’t think this is a good idea.” The words sounded so weak and flimsy leaving my mouth that even I didn’t believe them, but I was trying with all my might to do what I thought was best for him…not me.

  Sure, he wanted this right now, but I wasn’t positive that regret and resentment wouldn’t be awaiting us when this was all over.

  I watched AJ’s every move as he ignored my plea and slipped one hand away from my cheek, tilting my chin up toward him. I’d just finished telling him that this shouldn’t be happening, but when he came closer, all I did was close my eyes and let him kiss me again.

  Slowly, he sipped at my bottom lip as if sampling the flavor first. It made me dizzy, standing there perfectly still while he lit my body on fire from the inside out. A contradictory chill raced down my spine at the exact same time. The warmth of his hand on the side of my neck made the last of my thoughts jumble and I forgot about the conviction that had almost stolen this pleasurable moment from my grasp. His tongue traced my lower lip before he took it into his mouth, the warm moisture causing something inside me to stir.

  This isn’t right….

  We’re not supposed to be doing this…

  My mind told me to pull away, but I couldn’t. I fought it as hard as I could, but my moral qualms were no match for this feeling that AJ’s touch evoked. His tongue caressed mine over and over and over again, coaxing me into kissing him back. The wet stroking motion taunted me as I was overtaken by a myriad of dirty thoughts and vivid images – remembering how he used a similar technique when he’d go down on me, wondering if he knew how wet I was, wondering how hard he was…thoughts like that. Most of all, I wondered how far I would let this go.

  AJ sensed my weakness and continued to push, slowly inching me backwards until my calves touched the couch. Without separating his mouth from mine, he undid his shirt and tie, tossing both aside before lowering me down where I lie sandwiched between him and the cushion. I pressed my palms flat against the warm skin of his toned back while his fingers dragged longingly up my naked thigh. This felt so right. It was like no one but him was ever meant to touch me.

  Raking my fingers through his hair, the hunger between us grew and intensified. With haste, he pushed my towel aside and snatched me down a few inches by my hips until the persistent bulge at the front of his pants pressed against my sex. He cursed softly against my lips when our bodies made contact, only separated by the thin material of his pants. Imagining what it would feel like to have him inside me, I sought after his tongue again.

  I hadn’t wanted a man this badly before or since him…not even Jason. In the back of my mind, I was focused on the mounting tension between my legs, the sensation that left me wondering if tonight would be the night that AJ proved that I wasn’t incapable of enjoying sex again. Not being able to climax was probably to blame for the coldness Jason had accused me of earlier, if there was in fact any truth to it at all. It was no secret that I’d been a little tightly wound these days.

  AJ pulled away and I managed to steal one last kiss before he was out of reach. Slowly, with his eyes locked on mine, he unfastened my towel from around my chest and let the material fall aside. The sight of my breasts made him bite down on his lip with lust heavy in his expression as one hand gravitated to them. I lie there beneath him, completely nude, feeling like I’d dreamt this all up. Clearly, I’d fallen asleep in the tub and all our flirting and fantasizing induced this hallucination. There was no way on Earth he was here touching me right now. This couldn’t be real.

  As if to kill my theory, AJ craned his neck down and traced a slow, teasing circle around my nipple with his tongue before drawing it into his mouth. My head pressed into the cushion as my back arched toward him, silently surrendering whatever power I hadn’t already handed over. There was a familiarity in everything that he did – every touch, every kiss – and yet, this all felt new somehow.

  AJ’s lips returned to their rightful place against mine, but his hand slipped between our bodies where one finger, and then two, explored just how wet his teasing had gotten me.

  The rhythm of him dipping and stirring his long fingers inside me and then grazing them delicately over my clit was addictive. Deliberately slow. Breathtakingly deep. That was his method. I lie there panting, defenseless, and half-dazed as he released a single, breathy statement against my ear. “Let me make you cum.”

  Blood pumped through my veins so quickly that I could feel my pulse beating behind my ears.

  His lips touched my neck lightly and my eyes rolled back in my head. “Just say yes,” he beckoned, sealing his plea with a kiss beneath my chin.

  How in the hell was I supposed to say no to that?

  AJ stared down on me with sex-drunk eyes….and…I gave in.

  I wanted him too badly to pretend like I didn’t. When I nodded, granting him permission, a slick smile spread across his face. He devoured my tender lips again as our suppressed feelings and lust for one another boiled over. I couldn’t get enough of him. One gentle kiss to the side of my face, followed by another to the front of my neck, and then he stood from the couch.

  That confidence of his that lured me in from day one was practically spilling from his pores. He seemed so sure of himself – of his abilities – that I got more excited as the seconds wore on. I hadn’t been this turned on in so long that I couldn’t even remember when, if ever. Sex with Jason – when we actually had it – was more of a chore than anything. I was forced to acknowledge the possibility that, maybe he was right about me. Maybe I was emotionally unavailable…..for him anyway. Maybe my heart had been somewhere else all along and although Jason couldn’t have possibly known the details, he felt it.

  AJ had me literally squirming with anticipation. He knelt down on the floor and fastened his hands behind my knees, pulling my naked body to the edge of the sofa and closer to him. My heart raced and the last image I had before my eyes slammed shut was that of his face disappearing between my thighs. His arms came to rest over the tops of my legs as his fingers gently parted the lips of my sex seconds before his tongue met my flesh. I moaned loudly at the feel of him sucking and licking with a level of perfection that was far beyond what I remembered.

  Chill bumps covered my skin despite the fact that he had me nearly sweating. I brought my hands to his hair, gripping it as his tongue and lips showed my clit the attention she was begging for. When I moaned again, he gripped my hips and dove deeper. I looked down at his face buried between my thighs and the imagery left me shivering in his grasp. My eyes rolled back in my head and much sooner than I would’ve liked, the sucking became gentler, eventually dying down to sensual licks that left me twitching, and then AJ stopped altogether. When he separated himself from me, I looked down and met his licentious gaze just as he stood to his feet and reached for both my hands. I followed when he led me to my bedroom and turned off the lamp on my dresser. The next sound that filled the air was that of him undoing his belt and zipper, followed by his pants hitting the floor.

  This is really about to happen.

  I inched my way up the bed and lay there on my side waiting for him to join me. Despite the darkness, I could see everything
. The moonlight filtering in through my window blessed me with a clear visual of his flawless, nude physique – wearing nothing but my name on his neck.

  The symbol of his commitment to me had been there for years – his way of making sure that neither I, nor the rest of the world, ever forgot who his heart belonged to. And despite where we’d been or how much time had passed, I had a feeling that this fact still remained.

  When AJ finally graced my sheets with his presence, I didn’t even think twice about turning over onto my back and pulling him on top of me – something I typically wasn’t comfortable with. However, with him, submitting felt like second nature. I couldn’t think of one single person on this planet that I trusted more than him. Not one.

  The need to be in control wasn’t present while I lie there staring up into his entrancing eyes, letting him slip in between my legs. The feel of his blazing hot, rock-hard erection against my lower set of lips made my mouth water. Slowly, he let one hand drift over my breasts and stomach wantonly. Judging by the look in his eyes, he felt the same way I did – it was far past time to end our years-long sexual estrangement and destroy the last traces of uneasiness that existed between us. There were now only a few remnants of tension responsible for preventing us from being the ‘old Sam and AJ’ that we were both so desperate to be once again…as much as our present situation would allow, that is.

  As if having the same exact thought, AJ licked his lips, planted his palms firmly into the pillow where I rested while gazing up at him. My heart threatened to leap up through my throat when anticipation nearly consumed me alive. Just when I didn’t think I could stand to wait any longer, just when I thought I might actually be reduced to begging…AJ saw fit to give me what I wanted.

  The contrast of pleasure and pain as my saturated walls engulfed and devoured his dick, was so delectable that I let his name slip from my lips amongst a myriad of obscenities. There was just the right amount of tantalizing friction as he pulled out and again sank his entire length inside me for a second time, hitting every single nerve ending and pleasure point. I swear this man stared straight through me as I moaned and grabbed at his back like I’d drown if I didn’t hold him tight enough.

  How can I describe the feeling of having my first real dose of him in ages? How would I explain the exact moment when there was no longer any perceivable distance between us – physically or otherwise? It was like I’d been emotionally exiled all this time without even realizing it. Having him here, making love to me, was the equivalent of finally being rescued. Our eyes were still locked as he pulled out and plunged in again at the same unhurried pace. Before this, I knew that I’d missed him, but now…I felt like I needed to live and breathe him – morning, noon, and night for the rest of my life.

  Don’t, Sam….don’t get too attached. I closed my eyes and tried to heed my own warning, but…it felt like he was mine. However, the fact still remained, he wasn’t.

  Staying fully submerged and locked between my thighs, AJ lowered himself to kiss me – long, slow, and deep. I melted into him and ran my hands down his toned arms. If it’d been at all possible, I would’ve opted to stay connected to him like this always – that’s how good it was. Already, I was hooked all over again.

  In the back of my mind, I wondered if the feeling was mutual. Was this moment doing nothing more than satisfying a curiosity for him? Answering the question as to whether or not sex with me was the same as he’d remembered? Was he just horny because he’d been here for a while and hadn’t gotten any? Was that it? Was he here merely out of convenience?

  Shut up, idiot…of course that’s not it, I thought, scolding myself for even going there. With any other man, these theories would probably all be true, but not with AJ. Pushing the questions from my mind, I focused on him instead as he abandoned the kiss and went back to skillfully working his hips.

  After no more than a few minutes, I felt the sweet beckoning of a long-awaited orgasm preparing to take center stage and sing AJ’s praises. I almost didn’t believe what was happening, but soon, there was no denying it. I held him tighter, and in a fit of unfathomable ecstasy, I dragged my nails down his back about halfway before realizing what I’d done. He didn’t even flinch, though. Instead, all of his attention was focused exclusively on my tense expression and breathy moans. This was the part he admitted to liking most about our sexual encounters, so I didn’t shy away from his stare as my inner muscles tightened and literally trembled around his shaft. My face twisted into a scowl as a surge of energy slowly crept up my legs and then the rest of my body, setting each and every nerve ablaze in the process. By the time the feeling had filled me completely, moans had become screams that filled the air and ricocheted against my bedroom walls. My nipples hardened against AJ’s chest as he grazed them to the tempo of the sensual rhythm that he hadn’t lost even in the throes of passion.

  I couldn’t control myself as the feeling seemed to own me for the better part of a minute. AJ’s hair was tangled in my fingers and I’d involuntarily buried my face in his neck when I heard him release a throaty groan in my ear. As if I wasn’t already feeling high enough, I was overcome with an unmatched pleasure at the thought of making him cum too. I hadn’t even fully ascended from my own climax yet, but already I was obsessed with the idea of pleasing him.

  With each thrust, he breathed deep against my skin and my eyes rolled back in my head as I continued to hold him as close as I could. A chill raced down my spine when he whispered my name on the tail-end of a sigh. The muscles in his back tensed and writhed against the hand I ran down between his shoulder blades. He was about to go over the edge. His pace quickened and I clamped my lip between my teeth as his entire body went rigid on top of mine the next second.

  If my neighbors didn’t already know what was going on in my apartment when AJ had me screaming a moment ago, they did now. I wasn’t expecting him to be so verbal, so outspoken – that was new…but I liked it. He cursed loudly enough that I glanced over to make sure my window wasn’t open; the entire city would’ve been all up in our business if it had been. He let out one final grunt and finished releasing before finally lying there completely still on top of me. While he caught his breath, I embraced him and wiped the light sheen of sweat from his forehead.

  A few labored breaths puffed from AJ’s lips, but he said nothing.

  As amazing as that was, as powerful as that was, neither of us dared to admit such a thing out loud. Like I feared, the death of the adrenaline rush instantly brought reality crashing back down on us.

  I stared down my body as AJ placed a gentle kiss between my breasts and then laid his head back down on them, clearly reflecting on how we ended up here. A moment later, he lifted his weight off of me and I watched as he stretched out all six-feet two-inches of his perfection in my bed. He stayed close, placing his hand on my thigh beneath the sheet. As he sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, I wondered to myself what would happen from here.

  Was he leaving?

  What would he say if I asked him to stay?

  Would he be uncomfortable around me now?

  Chapter Sixteen

  AJ

  I stared at her sitting Indian-style on the other side of the bed, wearing the shirt I’d just taken off, buttoned only once just above her navel. She smiled shyly when she caught me gawking as she fought with a wayward string of cheese connecting her lips to a slice of the pizza we’d just ordered. This wasn’t exactly the type of Italian food I had in mind when I called earlier, but I was admittedly satisfied just being here with her – eating pizza by candlelight while sitting in her bed.

  Everything about our evening together had been intimate on a level that I hadn’t expected – even beyond the physical connection we’d made. It wasn’t lost on me that I wasn’t supposed to be here, shouldn’t have been enjoying having Sam’s time and attention as much as I was, but…I couldn’t seem to stay away. Deep down I knew that this inability to control myself when it came to her spoke volumes in terms of
how I felt about this woman – even after all these years. Still, this wasn’t an acceptable excuse. In that moment, I lowered my head as thoughts of how disappointed and hurt Kira would be, if she were to find out, began to creep in.

  What have I done? There was no going back now…

  Sam was quiet too, but I couldn’t guess what she was thinking. Did she feel bad too? She wiped her mouth with a napkin and finished swallowing before she spoke. “So…I’m curious about something,” she said quietly, maybe because I hadn’t been very talkative myself.

  Confused, I drank from the small bottle of Sprite that we ordered to share. “Curious about what?”

  She kept her eyes trained on me. “Did Terrell say something to you about Jason and me?” she asked. “I just get the feeling that you already know.”

  I thought back on the conversation that he and I had regarding this very topic. When a faint smile crossed my face, Sam shook her head and laughed a little.

  “I knew it. That dude holds water like a wicker basket,” she said, lightheartedly. Terrell was hard to get mad at, especially because you knew that his intentions were almost always good. “Did Maisha tell him?”

  I shook my head. “No, he just overheard you two on the phone, I think.”

  She rolled her eyes, knowing that the word ‘overheard’ most likely meant ‘eavesdropped’. Since she brought it up, I went ahead and pressed for more details, though. “So…are you guys still together, or…what?”

  Her eyes locked on mine for a moment before she reached for a second slice of pizza. “Uh…not anymore, actually. Not as of today.”

  I had no idea. I sat there quietly, wondering what happened, but knowing better than to ask – wasn’t really my business. In this particular situation, I had no clue as to what would be considered proper protocol. We’d just finished having mind-blowing sex, so consoling her concerning the breakup issue seemed like the wrong thing to do. “Uhhhh…so, you’re okay?”

  She looked at me with a serious look on her face that faded into a smile. “Yeah. I’m good. Perfect, actually.”