by Lynn LaFleur
Summoning up all her willpower, she pulled his hands from her underwear. “Later, all right? I want us to make love together.”
“I enjoy giving you pleasure, Jade.”
“I know that.” She squeezed his hands. “The feeling is mutual. But we have dinner reservations, and I don’t want our lovemaking to be rushed.”
“All right.” He kissed her softly, then gave her a crooked grin. “I could still make you come.”
She laughed. “Yes, you could. There’s no doubt about that.” She began walking down the hall, tugging him behind her. “You can pick out the dress I wear tonight.”
*
Jade leaned against the doorframe and stared at the tiny sliver of moon. Tonight had been wonderful. A delicious dinner, a sinful dessert, dancing with the man she loved. She felt as she’d floated on a cloud all evening. And that was before she and Zach made love.
Every time he touched her, every time he slid his cock inside her, she loved him more.
She wiped a tear from her cheek. She should be lying in bed next to Zach. Instead, she stood at the patio door in her living room, alone in the dark, at one in the morning.
She loved Zach fiercely. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. But she didn’t know how that could be possible.
Loving him meant putting his needs and desires above her own. No matter how much she loved Zach, she had to think about him and his future. She had to do what was best for him.
That meant she had to end their relationship.
He’d find someone else…someone closer to his age, someone who could give him children. A man so good with kids would want his own. Perhaps children weren’t important to him now, but they would be someday. She had no doubt about that.
To give him happiness, she had to give up her own. She loved him enough to do that.
She started when she felt Zach’s hands on her waist.
“What’s wrong, babe?” He kissed the side of her neck. “Can’t you sleep?”
How can I do this? How can I break up with him without falling apart?
She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes before he saw them. “I’ve…been thinking.”
“About what?”
“About us.”
His arms slid around her waist. “I like the sound of that.”
“No, I don’t think you will.” Her heart pounded in her chest. Swallowing hard for courage, she turned to face him. “This isn’t working, Zach.”
“What isn’t working?”
“You and me.”
He took a step backward. “What?”
“I said I’d give us a chance and I did, but it isn’t working.”
He moved away from her. A moment later, he turned on a lamp. Jade blinked at the sudden light. “What do you mean, it isn’t working?”
His eyebrows drew together and he frowned. His confusion didn’t surprise Jade. She’d given him no indication that something could be wrong between them. “I can’t… I can’t get past our age difference, Zach. Ten years is too much.”
He shoved his hair off his forehead and huffed out a breath. “Jade, we’ve been over this a dozen times. I love you. I don’t care that you’re older than me. It doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter now, but what about in the future? What happens when I get wrinkles and gray hair?”
“What happens if I gain fifty pounds? Will you stop loving me if I no longer look like a stud?”
“Of course not. Love isn’t based on physical looks.”
“Then why do you insist on worrying about something that may never happen?”
“I have to, Zach. I have to think with my head and not my heart.” Her voice broke on the last word. Jade blinked back tears that rushed to her eyes again. She couldn’t weaken now.
“We made love a few hours ago,” Zach said, pointing toward the bedroom. “We made love, Jade. It wasn’t sex. Our souls, our hearts, connected as well as our bodies. How can you give that up?”
“A relationship has to be more than sex, Zach.”
“Shit!” He turned, took two steps away from her, then faced her again. The blazing anger in his eyes made her take a step back and cross her arms over her stomach. “We have a lot more than sex, Jade, you know that. I can get sex from any woman.”
She pointedly looked at his naked cock. “I’m well aware of that.”
His eyes narrowed. “Is that a dig about my former job?”
“No, it isn’t a dig. I know you’ve had sex with a lot of women. What happened in the past doesn’t matter.”
“Neither should our ages.” He walked up to her and clasped her upper arms. She now saw anguish mixed with anger. How she hated hurting him. “You wouldn’t do this if our ages were reversed, if I were ten years older than you.”
“That’s different.”
“Why? Because it’s ‘socially acceptable’ for the man to be older, but not the woman? I don’t give a damn about what’s socially acceptable or not. I only care about being with you.”
“I can’t have any more children, Zach.”
“I don’t care! I’ve already told you that.”
She opened her mouth to argue further, but he spoke again before she could utter a word. “And don’t give me any bullshit about me wanting children down the road. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. And maybe I’ll get hit by a truck on my way to the grocery store. I won’t let the fear of that possibility keep me from driving.” He squeezed her arms. “I want a life with you, Jade. You. I love you.”
Tears filled her eyes and overflowed. “I can’t, Zach,” she whispered. “I just can’t.”
He released her and stepped back. “So this is it. You’re throwing away what we have because of fear.”
“Yes,” she rasped.
He stared at her another moment, then turned and walked down the hall.
Jade covered her mouth to stifle her sobs. Her knees buckled. She locked them to keep from falling to the floor. She had to do this. No matter how much it hurt her and Zach now, she had to do this. He would find someone else to love, someone who would make him happy.
He came back in the living room, now dressed. He strode directly up to her, grabbed her neck, and kissed her savagely.
Surprised at his action, Jade stop breathing. When his tongue dove past her lips, she inhaled sharply and moaned.
God, she loved him.
The kiss ended as quickly as it had started. “I’m so angry at you for doing this. I’m angry that you aren’t strong enough to fight for something so good. But I’m not giving up on us. I’ll give you time to think about what you’re doing. When you decide you’re ready to spend your life with me, come to me. I’ll be waiting.”
He walked out the front door…and out of her life.
Chapter Eighteen
The headache pounded behind Jade’s eyes. Sitting across the wide oak table from Doug Lassiter wasn’t helping her pain to lessen.
She could feel him watching her. Refusing to play his perverted game, she concentrated on the Chairman of the Board’s words. Everything he said began to run together. She felt as if there wasn’t enough oxygen in the air.
If she didn’t get out of this room soon, she feared she might faint. Or scream.
Ten minutes later, the chairman called a halt to the meeting. Silently breathing a sigh of relief, Jade began to gather up her paperwork, intending to make a fast getaway.
“Jade, I need to speak with you…in private.”
He’d finally cornered her. She’d avoided him for almost four weeks, thinking he’d give up on his silly blackmail threat. Apparently, he didn’t give up easily…along with several other men who worked in the hospital. Jade had never fended off so many interested suitors in her life. If she accepted dates from every man who asked her out, she’d be booked every night for the next month.
A daring dress and a younger man had certainly perked up everyone’s opinion of her sexuality. She didn’t know whether to be flattered or angry.
“This won’t take much time. We can talk in my office.”
There was no way she’d be alone in an elevator with him, even in the hospital. “I need to take care of a couple of things first. I can be in your office in fifteen minutes.”
A hint of a frown drew his eyebrows together, but he nodded. “Fine. Fifteen minutes.”
Jade took her time getting the rest of her paperwork together. If Doug Lassiter had to wait a few minutes for her, fine. He’d soon learn he couldn’t blackmail her into anything.
It didn’t surprise her to find his office door closed. She knocked once, then turned the doorknob and stepped inside without waiting for him to bid her to enter.
He sat behind his massive cherry-wood desk. The hospital’s administrator didn’t even have a desk that huge. The man was so full of himself, Jade was surprised his head didn’t explode from his oversized ego. “You wanted to talk to me?” she asked.
“Close the door, Jade.”
“I’d rather leave it open.”
“As you wish, but I wouldn’t think you’d want anyone who happened to walk by knowing your business.”
He had a point there, damn him. Jade shut the door and leaned against it. “I don’t have much time, Doug.”
“Then I’ll get right to the point.” He stood, rounded his desk, and leaned against it, ankles crossed. “I’ve given you four weeks to think about my…proposal. That’s plenty of time.”
“You’re right. That’s plenty of time. I don’t need a second longer to tell you to stuff your proposal right up…” She stopped and smiled sweetly. “Well, you get the idea.”
Doug made a “tsking” sound. It grated on Jade’s nerves and made her long to slap the smug look off his face.
“Now, Jade, you know I hold all the cards. Why don’t you just give in gracefully?”
Slowly, she strolled toward him. “It’s been a month since the gala. I just spent two hours in a meeting with every member of the board. Not one of them has said a word to me about my dress, my date, or possibly losing my job. In fact, Dr. Jennings praised my work today, saying he’s totally satisfied with my performance.” She stopped in front of him. “Now, why do you suppose he would say something like that if the board meant to fire me?”
His cocky smile slipped a little. Jade fought to keep from grinning in triumph. “Cat got your tongue, doctor?”
“I-I can still destroy you—”
“Oh, save it for someone who might believe you. I know your reputation, Doug. You’ll have sex with any woman who raises her skirt. I don’t know why Marianne puts up with it, but she does because I don’t believe for one moment that she doesn’t know about all your affairs.” She rammed her finger into the middle of his chest. “Well, you know what, Dr. Lassiter? I’m not that desperate for sex, nor will I ever be that desperate for sex.”
His lips thinned into a hard line. “No, not with your young stud fucking you.”
Jade almost flinched, but caught herself before he had the chance to see how much his words hurt her. “The age of my stud is none of your business, nor the business of anyone else in this hospital. I keep my personal and business lives totally separate.”
She turned and hurried to the door. With her hand on the knob, she looked at him again. “I’m a professional at this hospital, Dr. Lassiter. It’s too bad you can’t say the same thing.”
Head held high, Jade left his office and headed for the stairs. She needed the brisk walk up two flights of steps right now to cool off.
Zach would’ve been so proud of her.
She wouldn’t allow any tears to fall. Once inside her office with the door closed, she closed her eyes tightly and bit her bottom lip to keep from crying.
She missed him so much. This last week without him had been the hardest week of her life. The pain had almost destroyed her when Carl walked out of her life. That pain was a ride on a Ferris wheel compared to this.
Being strong really sucked.
The ringing of her cell phone dragged her away from the door. Picking it up from her desk, she peeked at the display to see Breanna’s phone number. She swallowed hard before she flipped open the phone.
“Hi, honey.”
“Hi. You busy?”
“I just got out of the board meeting.”
“Borrrrring.”
“Yes, but a necessity.” She sat down in her chair and pushed her hair back from her face. “What’s up?”
“You wanna hang out with your daughter tonight? Go out to eat, see a movie, stuff like that?”
“What? You don’t have a date?”
“Mom, it’s Monday.”
“There’s a rule you don’t date on Monday?”
Jade smiled when she heard Breanna sigh. “Mommmm!”
“Sorry.”
“Do you want to go out or not?”
“Sounds great. When and where?”
“Let’s try that new Chinese place in Burleson. I’ve heard it’s—”
“Burleson? Honey, that’s miles from where you…” She stopped when she realized what her daughter was doing. “No.”
“I think you should show me Zach’s house. You said it’s gorgeous. I want to see it.”
“No.”
“Maybe he’ll be there, working on it.”
“No.”
“Then you can talk to him.”
“NO.”
“Mom, you can’t leave it this way. You’re miserable without him.”
“Breanna, whether or not I’m miserable isn’t the issue. I want what’s best for Zach.”
“He loves you. You’re what’s best for him.”
“Oh, honey.” Jade leaned her head back on her chair and rubbed her forehead. Her headache began to pound again. “You’re still so young and have so much to learn about life. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the ones you love.”
“I understand that, Mom, I do. But this isn’t what you want, and it sure as hell isn’t what Zach wants. And don’t tell me to watch my language. I’m mad. I cuss when I’m mad.”
Jade couldn’t help chuckling. “Yes, I know.”
“Please, Mom? Will you talk to him?”
“No, Bre, I won’t.”
“I can’t believe you’re so stubborn!”
“I’m doing what’s right. Zach…” Her voice cracked on his name. She had to swallow before she could continue. “Zach will find someone else to love, someone closer to his age.”
“You know what? If you weren’t my mother, I’d slug you.”
“I love you, too, Bre.”
Breanna sighed heavily. “Will you still go to a movie with me, if I promise not to bug you about Zach?”
An evening with her daughter would take her mind off the man she loved…at least for a while. “I’d like that.”
*
“You okay with this, Zach?” Brent asked.
“Yeah. Whatever.”
Zach stared out the window at his sister. She’d been excited earlier because she’d found some kind of flowers on sale. Now she was outside, happily planting them in the flowerbeds.
“So you agree we should let Michelle dance naked in the yard to entice new escorts, right?”
“Yeah. Sure.”
“With flowers hanging from her nipples.”
“Sounds good.”
“Zach. Zach. ZACHARY!”
Hearing his name shouted finally sunk into Zach’s head. He turned and looked at his brother. “What!”
Brent scowled. “Well, finally I have your attention. Where the hell are you today?” His scowl deepened. “Or should I even ask that?”
“Don’t bug me today, Brent. I’m not in the mood.”
“Apparently. You haven’t been in a mood for anything lately, especially business.”
Zach looked out the window again. “You don’t need me for the business. You and Michelle can run it without m
e.”
“You’re an equal partner, Zach. We need your signature on the dotted line, too.”
After one more look at his sister, he wandered over to Brent’s desk and flopped down in a chair. “Put whatever you need in front of me. I’ll sign.”
“Jesus, you’re pathetic.”
His uncaring attitude made Zach’s anger flare. “Well, excuse me if I don’t feel like turning cartwheels.”
“If that’s what love does to you, I want no part of it.”
Zach pushed his hair back from his forehead. He rested his head on the chair and stared at the ceiling. He didn’t care if he ate or slept. He worked every moment he could on his house, until exhaustion drove him to bed. Only then could he sleep without dreaming of Jade.
He never would have believed love could hurt so much.
“You need something to get your mind off…her.”
“I’m working on my house.”
“That isn’t enough. You need to go out, have a good time, get laid.”
Zach lowered his head and glared at his brother. “Brent—”
“Take out one of these ladies,” Brent said, holding up several sheets of paper. “They’re clamoring for you, man. Dipping your dick into a honeypot will put the smile back on your face.”
“Aw, shit!” Zach stood up so quickly, the chair fell over and crashed to the floor. “I don’t believe you. I don’t fuckin’ believe you! You’re twenty-eight years old. When the hell are you gonna grow up? Sex with some nameless woman isn’t going to put a smile on my face! I love Jade. I know you can’t understand that concept, but I don’t want to be with any other woman.”
Frowning, Brent also stood and leaned on the desk. “No, I don’t understand that concept. I’m sorry you’re hurting, but—”
“You aren’t sorry.” He gestured toward the papers on Brent’s desk. “All you care about is making more money. I’m Coopers’ Companions highest paid escort. A nice percentage of what I bring in goes right into your pocket.”
“I’ve never seen you turn down a paycheck, big brother, especially since you started building your fancy house.”
Zach stared at his brother. There were other things he wanted to say…hurtful things. He had to get out of here before he said or did something to drive a further wedge between them.
