by Lynn LaFleur
“I’m outta here,” he muttered.
Once outside the house, Zach took a deep breath of the warm spring air, hoping it would calm him. He didn’t like arguing with his brother. He was just so damn angry.
He was angry at Brent, at himself, and especially at Jade for hurting him.
He needed to do something physical. He needed to pound nails, use a power saw, haul two-by-fours. The work at his house had kept him sane the last week. Working up a good sweat would be great for getting rid of his frustration.
Michelle looked up from the flowerbed as he walked toward her. “You leaving?”
“Yeah. I’m going out to the house.”
She sat back on her haunches and shielded the sun from her eyes with her hand. “Did you and Brent fight again?”
“We can’t seem to do anything lately but fight.”
“He loves you, Zach. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know that, and I love him, but he…” Not wanting to say anything negative to his sister, Zach stopped. “We disagree on some things.”
“He wants you to be an escort again.”
“That’s one of the things we disagree on.”
“Do you think you’ll ever change your mind?”
He sighed. “I don’t know, Chelle. Maybe someday, but no time soon. I’m just… I can’t think about being with another woman now.”
“You could escort some of our regular clients, the ladies who don’t want sex.”
“I wouldn’t be very good company for them.”
She stood, wrapped her arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly. Zach returned her hug, then simply held her for several moments, absorbing her love and caring.
“Do you need some help at your house?”
Zach clasped her hands and squeezed them. “Sure. How are you at painting?”
She grinned. “Almost as good as gardening.”
“Sold.”
“I’ll come out this afternoon.” She tilted her head and bit her bottom lip. “Do you want me to bring Brent?”
“I could use his muscle with the sheetrock, but I don’t want to argue with him anymore about escorting.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure he knows talking about anything to do with Coopers’ Companions is not allowed.”
Chapter Nineteen
Jade plucked a weed hiding beneath a patch of red pansies. The beautiful spring day had beckoned to her, calling her out of her house into the sunshine. She’d done little more than go to work and hibernate inside the house for the last two weeks…ever since Zach walked out of her life.
Thinking of him sent a stabbing pain through her heart. She’d lost seven pounds because food held no appeal to her. Her eyes burned from lack of sleep. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry. Once she started crying, she was afraid she’d never stop.
Not even her divorce from Carl had caused her this much agony.
Every day, she told herself she should go to Zach. Every day, she told herself she couldn’t. For him to be happy later, she had to hurt him now. Her own pain didn’t matter. She only wanted Zach to be happy.
She looked up when she heard a vehicle pull into her driveway. She didn’t recognize it. Pulling off her gloves, she stood and waited for the driver to get out of the vehicle.
She was shocked to see her ex-husband climb down from the SUV.
“Carl?”
“Hi, Jade.”
He walked toward her. Jade let her gaze quickly travel over him. He wore a pair of faded jeans and a short-sleeved polo shirt. Strands of gray liberally streaked his dark brown hair. She hadn’t seen him since their divorce hearing. Always a good-looking man, he’d retained those good looks as he’d grown older.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’d like to talk to you.” He gave her a small smile. “Can we go inside, maybe have a glass of tea?”
Carl hadn’t come to see her in two years. She had no idea why he would be here, unless he needed to talk to her about their daughter. “Uh, sure. Of course. Is this about Breanna?”
“No.”
He didn’t elaborate. Jade glanced at him over her shoulder as she led the way to the kitchen. “Then why are you here?”
“Let’s talk while we drink our tea, all right?”
She motioned toward the kitchen table. “Sit down and I’ll get the tea.”
Jade glanced at Carl often while she washed her hands and prepared their drinks. He fidgeted. Carl had never fidgeted. He was a strong man who knew exactly what he wanted. Right now, with his eyes darting around the room and his feet shuffling beneath the table, he didn’t look strong. He looked nervous.
She joined him at the table, setting their glasses down before taking the chair opposite him. “What’s going on, Carl? Why are you here?”
He took a gulp of his tea before he spoke. “I guess you see Bre pretty often, huh?”
“I talk to her every day and see her two to three times a week.”
“Did she tell you about…Melody?”
“She told me y’all broke up.”
“Yeah.” He huffed out a breath and sat back in his chair. “I screwed up, Jade.”
Now his fidgeting made sense. He regretted his breakup with Melody. She reached across the table and touched his hand. “Talk to her, Carl. Maybe you can work things out.”
“I didn’t screw things up with Melody. I screwed them up with you.”
Jade snatched back her hand as if his skin were burning hot. “What?”
“I never should have left you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”
She had absolutely no idea what to say to his declaration.
Carl leaned forward again and rested his arms on the table. “You aren’t involved with anyone, are you, Jade? Is there any way you’d give me another chance?”
“You aren’t serious.”
“Yes, I am. I didn’t realize how good I had it with you until I lost you.”
“You didn’t lose me, Carl. You left me.”
His gaze lowered to the table a moment before he looked at her again. “I regret that, Jade. I can’t tell you how much I regret that. I want another chance to make everything right with you. I’ve missed you.”
“Oh, Carl.” Reaching across the table again, she took both his hands in hers. “I love you. I’ll always love you. You were my first lover, my husband. You’re Breanna’s father. But I’m not in love with you.”
A tiny flare of hope flashed through his eyes. “Maybe you could fall in love with me again?”
Sympathy swelled in her heart. He looked like a lost little boy instead of the domineering man she knew him to be. Jade shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. I don’t… I can’t feel that way about you again, Carl. I’m in love with someone else.”
The hope died in his eyes. “Oh.” He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed the back of both. “I thought it was worth a try.”
She blinked away the tears in her eyes at his tender action. “I really am sorry.”
“Yeah. Me too.” He released her hands. “You really love him?”
“I really do.”
“Then I guess I’d better get out of here.”
“You’re always welcome in my home, Carl.”
He smiled sadly. “Thanks, Jade.”
She walked him to the door. He opened it, then looked back at her. Cradling her face in one hand, he lightly caressed her cheek.
“You’re lucky to find love again, Jade. Don’t ever let it go, no matter what. I did, and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
Her throat tightened when he kissed her softly, making speech impossible. She closed the door behind him and leaned her forehead against the wood. Her throat began to burn. Tears flooded her eyes. A sob tore from her mouth.
“Zach,” she whispered.
Jade’s legs buckled and she slid to the floor. Covering her face with her hands, she shed the tears she’d been holding back for two weeks. Sobs racked her body. She wrapped her ar
ms across her churning stomach as the tears flowed down her cheeks. She’d pushed away the man she loved because she’d been afraid of losing him, afraid he’d want more than she could give him.
She missed him so much.
I’m not giving up on us. I’ll give you time to think about what you’re doing. When you decide you’re ready to spend your life with me, come to me. I’ll be waiting.
Zach’s final words echoed inside her head. Jade drew her knees up to her chest, propped her elbows on them, and pressed the heels of her hands into her stinging eyes. She had been stupid—incredibly stupid. There were no guarantees in life. A relationship took effort to make it work. All couples had problems. But with patience, understanding, and a lot of love, those problems could be worked out.
She and Zach definitely had a lot of love.
Did you mean it, Zach? Will you take me back if I go to you, if I tell you how sorry I am to have let you go?
She had to try, right now, this moment. He might throw her out on her butt, but she had to try. She didn’t want to live one more hour without him.
Pushing herself up from the floor, she headed down the hall toward her bedroom. As soon as she showered and dressed, she was going to find the man she loved.
*
“How’s it look?” Michelle asked.
Zach wiped a smudge of pale blue paint from his sister’s nose. “Like you’re getting more paint on you than on the wall.”
Michelle swiped her brush at him. Zach quickly darted to the side to avoid getting a blue chest.
“I could be lying by a pool somewhere with a gorgeous hunk. Instead, I’m helping my brother paint his house. You should consider yourself lucky to be getting all this free labor.”
“Hear, hear,” Brent said with a grin. He walked into the guest room carrying three bottles of beer. “You’ve definitely taken advantage of us these last few days, bro.”
“I want to get the house finished.”
Michelle accepted a beer from Brent. “Working yourself to death won’t make you forget her, Zach.”
Zach froze with the beer bottle halfway to his mouth. His gaze darted to his sister. “Forget who?”
She scowled at him. “Don’t act stupid. We know you’re hurting. We just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret.”
Swallowing his mouthful of beer, Zach wiped off his lips with the back of his hand. “If you’re worried I’m gonna put a gun to my head, you can relax. Life’s too short to consider suicide.”
“There are other ways to hurt yourself. You’ve lived in this house the last two weeks, working almost nonstop. You sleep on a pallet, when you sleep at all. I’ll bet you don’t get more than three or four hours a night.”
“If I’m lucky,” he muttered.
“Zach—
“I’m fine, Chelle. No one dies of a broken heart.”
“No, but they can hurt like hell,” Brent said.
Zach faced his brother. “You were the one who didn’t want me to get involved with Jade.”
“Yeah, well, I was being selfish. You know I do that very well.” He clapped Zach on the shoulder. “I want you to be happy, bro. That’s the most important thing.”
The support of his siblings meant the world to Zach. They’d been by his side at every possible moment the last two weeks as he tried to put his heart back together. “Thanks, man,” he said, his voice husky.
Michelle’s eyes glistened with tears. If she started crying, he’d lose it. “Okay, break over. Back to work.”
She blinked away her tears and frowned playfully. “Can’t I even finish my beer?”
“You can drink and paint at the same time.”
“Slave driver.”
Zach grinned and kissed her cheek. “Yeah, but you love me.”
He turned to leave the room, but stopped when he thought he heard a noise outside. He looked back at his brother. “Was that a car?”
“It sounded like it.”
“Who’d come out here to the boonies?” Michelle asked.
“It might be the carpet people,” Brent said. “I’ll check it out.”
*
Jade climbed from her car. She smoothed her damp palms down her denim skirt and checked to be sure her T-shirt was tucked into the waistband. She’d taken a chance that Zach would be here, working on his house. She didn’t see his car, nor did she recognize the two pickups parked beneath the huge oak tree.
“Well, you definitely aren’t the carpet guys.”
She looked back at the house when she heard the male voice. A handsome blond man stood on the porch, wearing a pair of denim cutoffs. He didn’t look happy to see her. “No, I’m not the carpet guys.”
His gaze slowly passed over her. Jade had the feeling she’d just been inspected. “You must be Jade.”
He knew her? “Yes, I am.” She cleared her throat. “Is Zach here?”
The blond pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. “He’s inside.”
She took three steps toward the porch. He didn’t move from his spot in front of the door. “Are you the guard?”
“If I need to be to keep you from hurting my brother again.”
His brother. Then this must be Brent. She could think of a dozen better ways to meet the man who she hoped would be her future brother-in-law. “The last thing I want to do is hurt your brother.”
His scowl indicated he didn’t believe her. She stood still, waiting for him to move. It was obvious he didn’t trust her, but she would not leave until she spoke with Zach. If he threw her out, so be it. She at least had to try to convince him to forgive her.
Brent stared at her another moment, then turned and walked inside the house. “This way,” he called over his shoulder.
Jade followed Brent into the house. She looked around her, admiring all the work Zach had done. The house was beautiful…spacious, airy, light. The carpet hadn’t been laid yet, but the rooms she walked by were complete. A peek into the kitchen as she passed it made her gasp in pleasure.
He glanced at her. “You okay?”
“Yes. The house is gorgeous.”
“Zach’s a talented carpenter.”
She could hear muted conversation and The Eagles’ “Take It to the Limit” as they walked down the hall. The sound of Zach’s deep voice made her stomach do flip-flops.
Brent led her into what she remembered as being one of the guest rooms. “Zach, Jade is here.”
He turned to face her. Jade stopped breathing. The sight of him sweaty, dressed in nothing but a pair of denim cutoffs like his brother, caused her heart to skitter in her chest.
The anger in his eyes made her cringe.
“Hey, Michelle,” Brent said, “I’m getting hungry. How about if we go pick up some pizzas?”
The lovely brunette standing next to Zach frowned. Her gaze traveled between Jade and Zach, as if she were considering whether or not to leave her brother unprotected.
“C’mon, Chelle. They need to talk.”
Michelle looked at Zach again. He nodded.
If looks could kill, Michelle’s glare would have turned Jade into a pile of ashes. Both she and Brent obviously loved their brother very much.
Jade silently stared at Zach until she heard doors slam and the start of a pickup’s engine. The noise jarred her into taking a step toward him. Not sure what to say, she said a simple, “Hi.”
“Hi.”
Well, that didn’t work. “Your house is beautiful, Zach. You’ve done so much work on it in a month.”
“Brent and Michelle have helped a lot.” He set the bottle of beer he’d been holding on a windowsill. “I doubt you came here to talk about my house, Jade. Why are you here?”
Jade clasped her hands together to stop their trembling. “I had a visitor today.”
His eyebrows arched, but he said nothing.
“Carl came to see me.”
“Your ex-husband?”
“Yes. He asked me if I’d be willing to give him another chance.”
>
Pain darted through his eyes before he looked away from her. His reaction gave her hope. He wouldn’t hurt if he didn’t still care for her. Jade took another step closer. “I told him no.”
Zach looked back at her. “Why?”
“Because I’m not in love with him. I’m in love with you.”
A pulse beat in his temple. “Then why did you break up with me?”
Three more steps brought her close enough to touch him. She laid one hand in the middle of his chest. His heart pounded beneath her palm. “I was scared, Zach—scared of how quickly I fell in love with you, scared you’d decide you’d made a mistake in becoming involved with an older woman, scared you’d want the children I can’t give you.” She touched his mouth with her fingertips. “Carl told me I’m lucky to find love again and shouldn’t ever let it go. He was right.” Tears flooded her eyes. “You told me you’d wait for me. Did you mean that, or am I too late? Do you love me enough to give me another chance? Do you love me enough to forgive me for hurting you?”
His eyes narrowed. A muscle jumped in his jaw. “So if your ex-husband hadn’t come to see you today, you wouldn’t be here.”
Jade started to disagree with his statement, but she honestly couldn’t. “I don’t know.”
He moved back from her. “I think you’d better go.”
The possibility that he wouldn’t forgive her made her stomach tighten into a knot. “Wait. Please hear me out.”
“There’s nothing for me to hear, Jade. You just admitted Carl’s visit made you come here. So if your ex-husband hadn’t suddenly decided he wanted you back, you never would have come to me. I wish you hadn’t. Seeing you makes me angry all over again.” Turning away from her, he gestured toward the door. “Get out of here. I have work to do.”
Jade swiped at the tears on her cheeks. “Zach, please listen to me. I don’t know if I would’ve come to you today, but I would have come. I’ve been so miserable without you. A day, an hour, hasn’t gone by that I haven’t thought of you.” She stepped close to him again. “Carl’s visit made me realize how much I need you. Don’t turn me away. Please.”
He whirled around to face her. “That’s exactly what you did to me, Jade. I gave you my love, my soul, and you turned me away. Now I’m supposed to simply forget the way you trampled on my heart and forgive you?”
