Even Heroes Cry, Fords of Nashville, Book 1

by Hildie McQueen

  He decided it was best to get out of the house, and since he was exhausted from exercising, he drove to town. With the windows down and the just-cool-enough breeze, Adam relaxed.

  The bell over the door jingled when he entered the Miller's hardware store.

  "Hello, Adam," Mrs. Miller called out to him from somewhere in the back.

  Adam went to where pet supplies were kept, he stood in front of the shelves trying to figure out what to get. He'd put off long enough getting the dog, and decided the coming weekend would be a good time to get him.

  "Getting a dog?" Mrs. Miller appeared next to him, her face brightened by a smile.

  "Yes, ma'am."

  "Well, you need to be prepared. Let's get to work. First you need feeding bowls, a crate..." As she rattled off her list, she pulled items from the shelf for his inspection.

  Before long he loaded his truck with all the dog supplies. Mrs. Miller walked out behind him with two gallons of paint. "Can you drop these off to Tesha for me? I promised to stop by, but had to cancel. My sister is in the hospital in Michigan, I'm flying out in the morning."

  "I will take care of it," Adam told her although he was not quite sure he was up to it today. "Hope your sister is all right."

  Mrs. Miller chuckled. "It's nothing too serious. I'm more worried about the store and my replacement here. Jerry Pike is filling in for me. Bless his soul, every time he does, he loses something."

  The drive home was shaping up to be as relaxing as the drive in and Adam hoped it meant his evening would be without incident. Something rolled into the road and he stopped breathing. He jerked the wheel to the left and the truck swerved, tires screeching. Brightness filled his vision and he pushed down on the brakes while maneuvering the truck toward the edge of the road. His hands shook on the steering wheel. When he held them up, blood dripped from them. So much blood. Someone screamed and he jumped at the sound. He fought with the door handle and jumped from the truck to find himself standing in a dirt road he didn't remember turning off on. The only thing in the middle of the road was a dried bush the wind had blown over.

  He stumbled to the side of the truck and fell against it squeezing his eyes shut. This sucked. Not knowing when the damn flashbacks would occur was the worst. Adam lifted his hands and they were clean. No blood.

  Once he arrived at his house, he took his time unloading his purchases. It didn't take too long to set everything up in the screened in porch. It was time to deliver Tesha's paint.

  Cars drove by and circled. It seemed Aaron Moore was having one of his social events by the three cars already parked along the road. He remembered receiving an invitation for something from the neighbor whom he'd only met once. Adam wondered absently if Tesha would go to the gathering. If she'd already left, he could just leave the paint and not have to face her. He was on shaky ground; it was best to keep a safe distance tonight.

  Besides, once he saw her, he'd have to tell her they'd not be seeing each other any longer.

  On the way home from town, he'd made the decision to cut things off between them, it was best not to speak to her until he could handle things better. As insightful as she was, once he faced her, she'd immediately know things had changed between them.

  Unfortunately, she was home and looked gorgeous and immediately all his resolve flew out the window. He could barely swallow at seeing her in a calf length sleeveless dress. It was a bright green with small black flowers along the bottom and under her breasts. In her hair, she'd pinned a cloth flower in the same green hue. Her lips glistened with some sort of lip color when she smiled up at him. "Hello, Adam."

  Her eyes were warm at meeting his and it took all he had to keep from blurting out he didn't want her to go to the neighbor's house. What if another man saw her, took her from him. Damn he was a confused fool.

  "You can just put those inside the door," Tesha moved back and went to the kitchen counter where she'd left a glass of wine. "Would you like some wine?"

  "Are you going to Moore's party?"

  She frowned and studied his attire. "I take it you're not. Yes, I'm going. It's my chance to see the interior of that house." She cocked her head to the side. "Why don't you come with me?"

  It was so tempting, especially when she placed the glass down and walked away to peer out the front window. Her pert butt filled out the dress perfectly and he wanted nothing more at the moment than to grab it as he pumped into her.

  Tesha gasped when he took her arm and swirled her to face him. His mouth crashed onto hers and he pulled her against him with enough force she would not have any doubt how much he wanted her.

  Every curve of her called to him. It was as if he'd not known another woman. As if her fresh smell, the taste of her lips, every inch of her silken skin was made especially for him. Although he'd have a hard time describing what he felt for her, it would rank past lust, although desire was definitely a part of it.

  She wiggled in his arms, her hands pushing against his chest. But he couldn't stop, had to have her. His smell would be on her when she went to that party. There would be no question she was another's. He yanked her dress up.

  "Adam, stop." Her words penetrated the fog, just enough to make him wonder what they meant. "You're hurting me." She attempted to shove him away.

  Every movement she made drew him to want her more, to take her over and over until she could say nothing more than his name. Tesha had become something important to him. He was in love with her and fought to tell her through his kisses, and touches what couldn't be spoken out loud.

  The slap echoed in his ears. It was a second or two before he realized Tesha had struck him. She scurried away from him, to stand beside the door. "What is wrong with you? You were hurting me." It was then he noticed the tears. Her face was pale, eyes wide. "Leave." Her bottom lip trembled.

  "I'm sorry." Adam could not look at her. He moved closer and she moved away. "Let me explain." He couldn't end things like this. Not by hurting her.

  "Get out!" She pulled the door open and held it. "We can talk later, but not now. I don't know what's come over you, but I need you to leave."

  Minutes later he stumbled into his house and picked up the closest object, a plate. The dish exploded into thousands of pieces when he threw it against the wall. "I hate this." He growled in frustration and stalked from one side of the room to the other. "I can't be with Tesha, can't be with anyone. I hate this shit!" No matter how calm of an existence he tried to lead, how much he exhausted his body with fruitless activity, the result was always the same. His disorder robbed him of any kind of normal. "Fuck."

  The knock on the door made him jump. He hoped it was Tesha and he could apologize for his actions. He opened the door and found her standing on the porch, her arms tight across her chest. "Are you okay?"

  He shook his head and looked down to the floor. "I don't know. Please forgive me."

  How he wanted her to come inside and sit down, talk with him and give him a chance to tell her how badly he wanted normalcy. Convince her to forgive him. God how he wished it was possible to be in a true relationship with her.

  She didn't move and he didn't invite her to enter. He was too unstable, feared he'd lose it again.

  "I am not mad at you, Adam. What I am is concerned."

  Adam nodded, and closed his eyes. When he opened them, she was gone.

  Night came and he peered out the windows toward Moore's house. The party seemed to be in full swing. Several people lingered on the porch, cocktails in hand. It had been his life once. He'd thrown cocktail parties in his house near Nashville for clients and employees.

  Now it seemed like someone else's life, a faraway part of himself he'd never see again. He looked back over his shoulder. The brochure on the kitchen counter caught his attention. In two days, his mother expected him to join her at the clinic. Instead he planned to go pick up the dog.

  Adam found himself on the front porch. It was a warm night, soft music and the sounds of laughter traveled from the party. He n
arrowed his eyes when several women walked outside. It was not Tesha. At her house only the downstairs lights were on, which was normal. He had no way of knowing if she'd gone to the party or been too upset after what he'd done to go.

  Jealousy. The feeling had taken him by surprise and he'd reacted in a horrible way. He'd never been the type to not trust someone, to feel that another could take a woman's attentions from him. Of course, he'd never been broken before either. Since returning from the war, he'd been with a few women. Mostly one-night stands he'd met while in Nashville. Women who'd not tempted him to more than a one night tryst.

  In Lovely, he'd considered beginning a relationship. Getting to know someone. Yes, he'd planned to several times, had gone as far as to buy condoms, but when the time came to ask a woman to go out with him, he'd not been able to. Tesha was the first woman he allowed close. He regretted it now. Mainly because of the pain he already felt at losing her.

  And lose her he would.

  The phone rang. Jensen again.

  Chapter Twelve

  Tesha couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. The look in Adam's eyes, as if he struggled to remain in control shook her. What would it take to get him help? Obviously his family was trying, they gave him brochures and checked in on him. They'd probably spoken to Adam and tried to convince him to get help.

  What needed to be done was to not give him a choice. Someone going through so much could not make a wise decision. At this point, it was unlikely Adam was able to understand what was best.

  The air was brisk as she made her way around to the side of Moore's house. It was a beautiful house inside and out. The details of every space in the house were done with care and knowledge. Through the window the voices of people carried along with the music and she drank her glass of wine content for the moment.

  It was such a different life from the hustle and bustle of Atlanta. She missed her friends and the convenience of large chain stores. But Nashville was only an hour away and everything she needed right now was here in Lovely. Fireflies danced in the air and she couldn't take her eyes from them. It had been years since she'd seen them.

  They flew in the direction of Adam's house. Through the living room window she saw his lights flickered then went out. Something happened. Not stopping to think, she placed her glass on the railing and rushed over to check.

  She stood on the porch and put her ear to the door. Adam's house was quiet. She wasn't sure whether to knock or just walk in. "Oh for goodness sakes. You've seen the man naked, why not walk in." Tesha mumbled and she opened the door. "Adam?"

  A groan sounded and she went toward his bedroom. "What's wrong?"

  He was on the floor, kneeling beside his bed. His right knuckles were bruised and bloody, probably from hitting something. She looked to the wall beside the door. Holes were punched into the drywall. Tesha hesitated, not sure what to do.

  "Please, go home, Tesha." He sounded tired, defeated. "I'm a lost cause."

  "No, you're not." Tesha went to the bathroom and ran a washcloth under the water. She neared slowly and wrapped his hand with it. "You're a good man, Adam."

  He chuckled, but it was not with mirth. "That's right, I'm a fucking hero." He pushed away and stood. "I keep forgetting. I'm a God damned hero."

  "I'm going to get you some water."

  "No." His entire body trembled.

  She wondered if it was because he held back. Tesha ignored the shiver of apprehension. Adam wouldn't really hurt her. "Tell me what I can do to help you."

  It was heartbreaking to see the proud, beautiful man slump. "Help me by forgetting I exist. Don't let me near you again." He swallowed visibly. The pain in his eyes was piercing when he looked at her. "You deserve better than me. I can barely make it day-to-day, Tesha. Stop wasting your time with me."

  "I want to help you," she whispered, not wanting to give up. Couldn't he see, it was too late? She was already in love with him. Needed him like she needed air. Wanted no one but him.

  "That's the thing." He walked to the window and looked outside. "I don't want your help. I don't want anyone's help. I'm sick and tired of everyone offering to help. I want to be left the fuck alone."

  "Why?" Tesha wanted to push the locks that fell down on his brow and kiss the pain away. "Tell me, Adam, why do you want to be alone?"

  A single tear slid down from the corner of his eye, it trailed to his jaw and splashed onto his shirt. "I can't talk anymore. Please leave."

  The crickets' songs from outside were the only sound in the room. Tesha wasn't sure what else could be said. If Adam refused help, didn't want to try, there was little she could do. It certainly was beyond her capabilities to help him.

  "The war killed David, my husband. The vehicle he was in drove over an IED. He didn't have a choice. You on the other hand, have a choice, yet you allow the war to take your life, too." She could not keep the tears from falling when he didn't react. "Fine, Adam. Give up. Some hero you are."

  When she reached the front room, she heard him scream, followed by a loud thud against the wall. A loud crash was next followed by an inhuman groan.

  He was losing it. A cell phone on the counter got her attention. Through the tears and fear of what Adam could be doing, she blindly pushed the buttons.

  The screams and thuds continued. While she waited, she'd almost dialed the local sheriff twice. Finally, a bit over an hour later, Tesha stood outside on the porch when the black Lexus SUV pulled up. Three men jumped from the car and rushed to where she stood. She barely had time to register the replicas of Adam, who got out of the vehicle.

  Her jaw fell open. Jensen Ford, the movie star, stood in front of her. "Thank you for calling about my brother. This is it. No more talking. We've had enough. It's time for Adam to get help."

  She could only nod when the other two neared. The next brother was taller than the others, he moved with smooth grace and elegance. That and the tailor made suit, told of his affluence. The last one was almost identical to Adam. His hair was cropped military short, his eyes held a wariness that reminded her of Adam's. Jensen must have known she recognized him, as he didn't introduce himself. "The guy in the suit is our oldest brother, Tristan and the mini Adam, is Caden.” Both men were already moving inside.

  Tristan stopped before entering. "Thank you for calling Jensen. We appreciate it."

  Tesha nodded, her eyes already welling with tears. "Just please help him."

  They went inside leaving the door ajar.

  She wasn't sure what to do, part of her wanted to run home, while the other needed to be there for Adam. But it was a family situation. No matter what she felt for Adam, it did not give her the right to pry into what would happen between him and his brothers.

  Adam cursed and screamed at his brothers to leave. Tesha reached for the wall beside the doorway and leaned on it. Her legs threatened to give out. After a few minutes of the brother's shouting, she moved away and paced up and down the driveway. She kept vigil, not daring go inside her house. Not yet. A few minutes later, she went to her side yard and sunk onto the bench with her arms crossed for warmth.

  "Hello?" Jensen walked through the opening where her garden gate would be and came to her. Even in the dimness she could make out his handsome features. He was a bit shorter than Adam, and slimmer than he appeared on the big screen. But the brothers resembled in the broadness of shoulders and muscular physique. He didn't look anything like the cocky actor she'd caught glimpses of on television, instead vulnerability was the only thing she could see in his eyes.

  Tesha stood and rubbed her hands down her arms feeling suddenly chilled. "I'm here. Is there anything I can do?"

  "Can you keep an eye on my brother's place?" He held out a key ring and a card. "Here's my card. But if anything comes up, please call the number on the back, it's Caden's, he lives closer, in Nashville. He's a cop so he can handle any trouble."

  "Of course. But this is a quiet town, I'm sure everything will be all right. Don't worry." Tesha touched his
forearm. "Can I call to ask how he's doing?"

  The actor's face softened and he exhaled. "Yeah, of course. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. I better go help." He jogged away and Tesha followed him as far as the front yard.

  A few minutes later, the brothers exited, with them a struggling Adam. He was in a rage and didn't seem to notice her. His hair was plastered to his head with sweat as he tried to punch and kick free of their hold. Caden and Tristan held his arms while Jensen had the unfortunate task of holding his feet. It took some work and a lot of cussing by all three, but they finally managed to shove Adam into the SUV and drove off.

  The bedroom's only light came from the moon, the tree outside cast shadows that moved over Tesha's bed. What was happening? Where were they taking Adam? If only she'd asked Jensen more questions.

  When the tears flowed, she couldn't stop them, then hiccups followed and she got up and found a box of tissues and brought it to the nightstand. It struck her that grief often came without warning. How could it be that after so long on her own, the man she decided to date was tormented by the same war that killed her husband? If only she'd maintained more of a distance, not allowed Adam close. Now her heart was breaking all over again, not just for herself, but for how much Adam was hurting.

  Tesha prayed that he'd do well in whatever treatment his brothers found for him. Now knowing his brother was a movie star, she expected Adam would receive the best treatment since cost would not be much of a hindrance.

  Morning came with startling brightness. Tesha lay in bed and studied the room. The tall windows were dressed with long sheers of the palest yellow that draped onto the floor. She'd kept the Victorian look with soft floral wallpaper printed with bouquets of yellow and pink rosettes. Her dressing table was a distressed white sideboard cabinet, which she'd shortened the legs on and repainted herself.