Counting the Days

by Hope Riverbank

  As soon as Jenny closed the door, I ran to the telephone and dialed Danny’s number. I explained to him all that had happened and when I told him that I was going to stay with Jenny until I got on my feet, he protested. He explained that his girl was not going to stay with strangers. He knew that Jenny wasn’t a stranger, but, truthfully, I really wanted to be with him. So I quickly wrote Jenny a note and left it on the night table. Then I quietly snuck out.

  While I was outside waiting for Danny, I contemplated reasons behind possibly calling my father. What can I tell you about my father? He is the total opposite of my mother. He’s never given me anything unless I asked for it. He is what you would call a deadbeat dad. It’s not that my father doesn’t work, he works and he makes very good money. He just doesn’t believe in paying child support. I guess he figures that since my mother refused to marry his sorry behind, he didn’t have to take care of me. Granted, when I really needed something, he always bought it for me. Whatever it was, he bought it. He never said no. But money for food and shelter would have been nice too. If he’d paid child support, then my mother wouldn’t have had to work so hard and could have spent more time with me. Don’t get me wrong, he also was always there when I needed him. That’s the only good thing I could say about Mr. Eric Edwards is that once in a while he was there. But that’s about it. I resented him so much while I was growing up that I just couldn’t give him any kudos for being any kind of father figure. I mean, he’s a nice guy and all, but he’s just not what I would call a real ‘Dad’. When he’s in the mood and doesn’t have a love interest, we might spend an entire weekend or holiday together, but beyond that, nothing. He really isn’t interested in me. Really talking to me once in a while just isn’t his thing. As a matter of fact, this whole mess that I’m in right now is his fault, so, no, I will not call him.

  I was only waiting around for about fifteen minutes before Danny arrived. Immediately my heart began racing when he pulled up. I hopped in and off we went. When we arrived at Danny’s, he asked me if I was tired and I said no. I was too excited to be tired. I was surprised to find out that he had an entire separate apartment in his parents’ home. It was a pretty big duplex. It had two bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms, a full kitchen, an office and a living room. I was very impressed. He told me to make myself at home. I asked if I could take a shower and Danny showed me to the linen closet and the master bathroom.

  After Danny excused himself, I turned the water on so that it was scolding hot. When I stepped into the shower, I could instantly feel my body relaxing from the heat of the water. It had been a long day filled with lots of emotional ups and downs. I stood under the shower with my eyes closed. The hot water pouring over my head and coming down over my chest and back felt so good. I stood there absorbing the heat and warmth of the water.

  I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn’t realize that Danny had stripped and joined me. In fact, when I noticed him, I jumped because he startled me. He was just standing there watching me. For the first time in my life, I felt very self-conscience and immediately began to cover my body with my hands. I have never been naked in front of a man nor have I ever even seen a man entirely naked. Not a real live tangible man.

  “Relax,” Danny said as he began stroking my hair. “You are so beautiful.” He put his hands on my face and pulling me close, he began kissing me. His arms slid down around my shoulders and embraced me. Slowly, he removed my hands from covering my breasts and immediately pulled me near him. I could feel his chest touch mine. I froze as he put his arms around me and we began kissing again. I was excited and scared at the same time. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I think I’m ready. I think.

  He slowly leaned me against the shower wall. I felt the cold wall on my back as he pushed me up against it. He began kissing me passionately. It was pure electricity that resulted in sweet pleasure. We made out a few minutes and then Danny backed away from me. He grabbed a bar of soap, handed it to me and said, “Wash yourself.” I began soaping up, but he quickly stopped me saying, “No, slowly. I want you to gently caress your entire body with that bar of soap.” I was so scared, but I did as he asked, seductively, as he watched. I was embarrassed and humiliated, but also a little excited. I’ve never done anything like this ever before. Danny just sat there and watched. Nothing else. After I rinsed off, he left the bathroom without saying a single word. I felt so ashamed and guilty. May God forgive me for secretly enjoying every bit of this evening. I shut the shower off and followed curiously to find him dressing in the bedroom. He told me to get dressed and meet him in the kitchen. I silently did as he asked.

  When I got to the kitchen, Danny had a couple of candles burning and two glasses of wine. He had some fresh fruit out and some soft music on. Was this guy for real? I was awestruck. This was totally romantic. Impressive. The rest of the evening we talked, ate, laughed and danced. At the end of the evening he escorted me to his bedroom and we got into bed. He turned me away from him, wrapped his arms around me and explained that he respected my wanting to get married first. He kissed the back of my neck, said goodnight, and held me in his arms all night long.

  Jenny and my mother were so wrong about him. They were totally off base. The next morning to my surprise, we went to Town Hall and got married.

  1496 Days Left

  “Danny, man, don’t you love girls who have big brown nipples?” Chris asked staring intently at my chest. We were all hanging out at a local bar, drinking and enjoying ourselves. Chris, Danny’s friend, had a little bit too much to drink and was beginning to get out of control.

  Danny ignored Chris’ question and asked me, “Honey, do you want to dance?” I shook my head yes and we walked hand in hand to the dance floor. Danny and I danced in silence to a couple of slow songs and then the DJ started playing some disco. We stayed on the floor dancing until we were both dripping with sweat. This was our first night out on the town as husband and wife, and until Chris’ question, we were having a great time. I could tell that Danny was greatly disturbed by it and it was definitely dampening the mood.

  Instead of returning to our table, we headed to the bar for a couple of drinks. I waved hello to Jenny and Paul who came in from the patio and sat down at the table with Chris. Danny glanced down at my chest and said, “Marilyn, didn’t I ask you not to flirt with my friends?” His eyes were bright eyed and wild looking…a little crazed. It scared me.

  I couldn’t believe that I was getting accused for Chris’ bad behavior. I forced myself to answer him. “Danny, I wasn’t flirting with Chris. He’s just had a little too much to drink and is getting rambunctious.” Oh boy, here we go again.

  Danny turned to the bartender and asked for two beers. I could see that he was holding his tongue, but he was visibly getting upset. “He hasn’t had too much to drink and he wouldn’t just say an off color comment about your breasts if you hadn’t led him on in some kind of way. Look at you. Can’t you dress a little more decently? I hate it when you wear stuff like that, showing off your tits like a twenty dollar hooker,” he said as he pointed to my chest. “For goodness sake, Marilyn, you can see your nipples right through that blouse. Are you trying to embarrass me on purpose?”

  “No, honey, I’m wearing exactly what you told me to wear,” a white halter, blue jeans and black pumps. “You bought this blouse for me. It’s a halter-top, so I can’t wear a bra with it. Nothing’s exposed or anything.”

  “You should only be wearing outfits like that for me in private. Those,” he said angrily pointing to my breasts, “belong to me and no one else should be able to see what belongs to me. We, you and I, will talk about this further, when we get home tonight.” Danny started back for the table. I followed him like a child. I felt dread within all my soul.

  We’ve only been married for a little over two weeks and things have been fine. We haven’t had one fight and life seems great. I’ve been the perfect little housewife. I’ve kept the house clean and I always have dinner ready for Danny when he get
s home. Of course, I won’t be going to medical school right away, because now I’m a housewife. For now I have other responsibilities and a new life course. I’ll go to school eventually and I’m okay with that. I am now Mrs. Daniel Monroe.

  Last week Danny went out drinking a lot with his friends. It bothered me a little, but I made the most of it. Every night I dolled myself up and put on a sexy little nightgown. I made sure scented candles were lit and exotic foods were waiting for him when he got home. Sometimes he was too drunk to make love, but it was okay, most evenings he was hungry and he made up for the nights he wasn’t.

  Tonight, even before we left the house, I had a feeling that it was going to be a long evening and we were going to have our first fight. When we got to the table, Danny turned to Chris and said, “Now back to your question about big brown nipples.” All eyes and ears were on him. Chris began to grin. Jenny and Paul had no idea what was going on and looked totally confused, so Danny turned to them and said, “While you guys were out on the porch, Chris here asked me if I liked girls with big brown nipples.” I could feel my face turning beet red from embarrassment, to avoid looking into the faces of my friends, I stared down into my beer.

  “So, do you?” Chris prompted.

  Danny looked at me and said, “Man, let me tell you, I love them.” He pointed to my breast and continued, “Look at my wife’s chest, you can see her nipples right through this blouse…and let me tell you, they are big, round and dark brown ones.” Danny put his arm around me and began caressing my right nipple, right there in front of everybody. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I tried to push Danny’s hand away, but he just tightened his grip. He was pinching me so hard that I wanted to cry out. I glanced over at Jenny and Paul and could see they were absolutely mortified.

  “Yeah, she’s got some nice ones,” Chris said and laughed as he glared at my chest. “They’re about the size of silver dollars. And they look nice and dark too. Nice, man.”

  “Danny, please stop,” I begged and once again tried to push his hand away. “You’re embarrassing me.”

  “Come now, honey. Why are you embarrassed? Isn’t that why you wore this blouse? So that you can show off what you’ve got. Now show it off,” Danny said as he pulled the top to the side exposing one of my breasts.

  “Cut the crap, Danny!” Jenny angrily shouted, “For goodness sake, she’s your wife. Give her some dignity.”

  Danny shot Jenny and Paul a look of hatred before he covered me back up. “I’m going to the can. I’ll be back,” he said to me. Chris got up and left with him. They gave each other a high five, complimenting themselves on how awesome they were, as they laughed the entire way to the restroom.

  Never in my life have I ever felt such a humiliating and demeaning experience…ever. The tears began running down my face. Jenny scooted over into the seat next to me and putting her arms around me apologized, “I’m so sorry. If we could have foreseen what was going to happen, we would have changed the subject or something to distract him. Do you want to go home? We’ll take you if you want to go.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I said shaking my head, “I’ll be okay. You know he doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just showing off in front of his friend. He isn’t like this all the time. Really. He’s been working so hard all the time…it’s just a blowing off steam thing.” How many more excuses could I make for his behavior?

  Jenny was truly trying to be sympathetic, but I knew that she was reeling inside. As a last ditch effect to try to get me to leave she argued, “You know you don’t need to put up with this crap. He’s your husband and he should be treating you with dignity and respect. Let us take you home so that he can think a little about the way he’s behaving.”

  “No,” I responded shaking my head. “Seriously, I’ll be okay.” We sat in silence until Danny returned. He ordered another round and they started talking about some of the pretty girls in the bar. I sat quietly listening to them act like the masters of the universe. Jenny and Paul remained sitting with us for a while and then, after ensuring them that I was okay, they headed for the dance floor.

  Chris asked me if I wanted to dance and without hesitation I said no. Danny turned to me and said sternly, “What’s wrong with you? You don’t treat my friends rudely. Get up and dance with him. Now!”

  Danny was becoming incoherent and, even though I protested, he was getting a little aggressive. He literally stood me up and walked, no, dragged me to the dance floor with Chris following behind. As soon as Danny backed off, Chris was instantly all over me, attempting to dance in his drunken stupor. He was all arms and hands. I knew that Danny wasn’t far away from us, but I couldn’t see him. I could, however, feel his eyes on me. Watching. Why wasn’t he coming to help me? Danny, please, where are you?

  When the music stopped, I tried to run off the floor, but Chris was strong. He was an octopus and would not let me go. I tried pushing him away, and the more I pushed, the more persistent he became. I started calling out for Danny, hoping that he would come to my rescue. But he just stood there and watched. Chris was touching me everywhere, feeling me up like a high school boy. Finally, I was able to get him off of me long enough to slap him. When he released me, I ran. Danny was standing next to the table watching. I ran and hid behind him. What’s going on? Was he that drunk that he hadn’t seen what was happening? He must have at least heard my cries.

  “Danny man, your wife is a frisky one. Did you see that? She was all over me on the dance floor. You’re a lucky man. She seems to like it rough.” Chris hooted as he approached the table.

  “Liar,” I retorted turning to face Danny, “he’s lying. Ask Jenny and Paul…I’m sure they saw it all.” I glanced around the dance floor for them, but they were nowhere to be found. My heart sank. “Danny, I know that you were watching us. You saw that I didn’t do anything. He was touching me all over like some kind of wild animal. He was practically raping me out there on the dance floor.”

  Danny stood there sternly listening. Chris threw his hands in the air gesturing and defended, “Man, I’m one of your boys. You know me and you know that I would never take liberties with your woman.” I couldn’t believe my ears. My husband couldn’t seriously believe these lies.

  Danny glared at me and said, “Come on, we’re out of here.” He threw some money down on the table, then he grabbed me by the arm and we left swiftly. On the way out he muttered, “Now you know why I don’t take you out with me. Because of this, you’re a pig, and you can’t behave.”

  “Danny, I’m sorry, but I didn’t do anything. Chris was all over me and I tried calling you, but I guess you didn’t hear me…” I rambled on and on out of fear. Danny kept his tight grip on me, treating me as if I was a misbehaved child. When we got to the car, he practically shoved me in, he was so angry. We drove home in silence.

  Half way there, Danny swerved off the road and slammed on the breaks. “What are you doing?” I shouted. Within seconds he was on top of me with his hands around my neck, choking me. I tried to scream, but nothing came out.

  He was shouting at me, “Don’t you ever embarrass me ever again.” I couldn’t breathe. I struggled to get his hands off from around my neck. “You’re trash. I can’t believe that I married a tramp,” he grunted. He was so strong. I couldn’t free myself of his hold, and the harder I struggled, the stronger his grip became.

  I could feel myself getting weaker, and I knew that I would soon be unconscious, so I began kicking at him. I kicked hard and was finally able to free myself of his grip. When he released me, I gasped frantically for air while I desperately tried to get out of the car. He was grabbing me from behind. Pulling my hair. He was in a rage, screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. He was wrapping his hands around my neck again. He loosened his grip slightly and I turned myself around to face him. I started punching his arms and hands with all my might. I aimed for his face and with an upward thrust I slammed him square in the nose. Blood began gushing from his nose. He released me and
held his face, screaming.

  I turned back to the car door and began fumbling around. I needed to get out of the car, but I was hysterically blind and couldn’t find the door handle. After fumbling around a few seconds, I was finally able to open the car door. I bolted from the car screaming and crying so hard that I couldn’t see where I was going, but I ran away as fast as I could. Several times I fell to the ground, but I scrambled up as quickly as I could and kept running.

  Danny’s footsteps were behind me, gaining on me. He grabbed me and tackled me to the ground. I fought him as hard as I could, but I wasn’t strong enough. Within moments he was on top of me, holding my arms crossed and restraining me tightly. Why was he doing this to me? Why was he hurting me? My heart was racing a hundred miles a minute. I began screaming at the top of my lungs in the hopes that a passerby might hear me. He covered my mouth with one hand while restraining me with the other. I tried biting him. He growled and then he open handed me to the side of my head. He hit me so hard that I saw stars. I was tired and defeated. I couldn’t hold on anymore so I stopped fighting him. He smacked me around a little more, and continued ranting and raving the entire time, spitting hatred at me.