Mean Machine

by Joanna Blake

  They’d told him to start stowing money away in anticipation of the career change. Kendall was a songwriter at heart and he couldn’t wait to be taken seriously as a musician.

  These two guys had helped him every step of the way.

  All because he’d dared to speak to them backstage at an awards show during the peak of the boy band years. The peak which seemed like it was never going to end.

  They’d taken him under their wings, teaching him the ropes. What to do, and what not to do, especially when it came to women.

  And most importantly, how to find his own voice.

  At eighteen, Kendall had already seen a lot. He knew what kind of music he liked. And it wasn’t sugar sweet pop.

  But he was still working on how and when to get out of the band. Suddenly he decided that there was no time like the present.

  He had all the support and guidance he needed. And he’d avoided any scandals. He’d even saved most of his money, setting his mom and sister up in a big house to keep them safe, and protect a nice chunk of his money.

  “No guys, you are right on time.”

  Kendall stood up straight and grinned, greeting his friends. They hugged and slapped each other’s backs, nodding at the rest of the band. Bruce and Nick had taught him to treat everyone right, especially backup singers and the crew.

  And the fans. You didn’t have to like the attention. But you had to be gracious about it.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I’m not going on stage in this outfit.”

  Nick quirked an eyebrow at him, looking over the track suit. He nodded. Nick was the biggest rock star in England. He was the quintessential rocker.

  “Don’t blame you, man.”

  “Did they just spring it on you guys?”

  Kendall shook his head.

  “It’s a new look. I’m not having it.”

  “They should have run it by you.”

  “Yeah, but they think we are dumb kids, remember.”

  Morey chose that moment to open his big fucking mouth.

  “Wardrobe is stipulated in your contract!”

  Kendall rolled his eyes and gave Bruce a conspiratorial smile.

  “Remember what we were talking about? My exit plan?”

  Bruce and Nick exchanged a glance and then looked back at Kendall.

  “It’s about to go down.”

  “If you don’t get out there right fucking now, I’ll sue the hell out of you.”

  He turned to face his sniveling manager. The man who had made more money off the sweat of handsome teenage boys than anyone in the world.

  “Oh, I’ll perform. But for the fans and the band, not for you.”

  He tossed the sunglasses on the ground while the rest of the group looked on nervously.

  “But I’m doing it my way.”

  Kendall stared at the rest of the guys.

  “Sorry guys, this is it. Let’s give them the show of their lives. Our way.”

  He felt his heart swell with pride as they all tore off their gaudy track jackets and tossed their sunglasses aside.

  Nick and Bruce slapped his back as he left to take the stage.

  Kendall paused. He wanted one last word with Morey. The out of shape money grubber looked pale as he stepped closer to him.

  Good, he should be afraid.

  Kendall was about to rock his world, and his bank account.

  “This is the last In Tempo show I’m ever doing.”

  Chapter 1

  Kendall

  Six years later

  Kendall reached for the guitar. His arm was tan and muscular, with a tattoo of a coiled snake winding around the top of his arm, just below his shoulder.

  It was just one of many tattoos. The sort of thing that had been forbidden when he was under contract. The sort of thing that meant freedom to him now.

  He'd taught himself to play years ago on a guitar that Bruce had given him. It had been a secret. He hadn’t had the benefit of lessons. He’d learned on his own, in the back of tour buses, in hotel rooms, airports. It had all been on the down-low. Something the label would have frowned on for a good little boy bander.

  Almost as bad as smoking in public or getting caught in a strip club, not that that had been his thing either.

  They hadn't wanted him to play an instrument back then, or to write, just to perform what they put in front of him.

  He'd hated it.

  From day one, he'd had his own ideas about songs and dance moves. What to wear. The rest of the band had been much happier to go along. But for the five years of his contract, his hands were tied.

  Not until the end. The day he’d walked out after giving the best concert of his life, and never looked back.

  The lawsuits that followed had meant he couldn’t release his own music. Not right away. Morey had thrown up every roadblock he could for Kendall’s success.

  But it hadn’t worked.

  The fans had been more than happy to wait. And he’d grabbed more fans in the interim.

  The waiting had just built up expectations.

  When he finally dropped his first solo album, everything had exploded. He was the new it guy. The former pop star with a hot edge and grooves that wouldn’t quit.

  And that was just the beginning.

  Now he was free. He'd been writing and recording his own music for six years now. At first in underground studios, then with his new label. Now he had his own set up, right here in his house.

  He’d converted the pool house to a recording studio and spent a good part of most days there, experimenting and messing around with new songs.

  Some of his stuff sounded like classic rock. Others sounded more like the blues. But it all had one thing in common. It was authentic.

  It was real.

  He walked out to the deck overlooking the Pacific Ocean. He'd done this on his own. All of it. The gold records, the magazine covers, the world tours.

  He knew he owed a lot of his success to his family. His mom and sister. Maybe even more to Bruce and Nick.

  But it had started with them.

  In Tempo.

  It had been a cheesy boy band put together to churn out hits. Almost immediately he'd chaffed against the restrictions put on them. They weren't allowed creative input, or girls, or drinking. They weren't even allowed to pick out their own clothes. Try telling that to a bunch of teenage boys. Especially those with millions of fans.

  Billions of fans.

  It had been a fluke that made them the group that stood out above the rest. Well, maybe not a fluke. Most people said it was him, though it made him uncomfortable to hear.

  Kendall's looks, talent and charisma had made him the natural choice for front man. But he was the one who had ended the roller coaster ride for the rest of them when he quit abruptly after his eighteenth birthday.

  He owed those guys. He was the one who had walked away with a viable career. He still loved the fuck out of them too.

  Now he was twenty-six and an A-list recording artist in his own right. The rest of the band had floundered, making club appearances for cash, starting clothing lines, you name it.

  They knew Kendall was the star of the show, even though he denied it.

  They'd begged him to come back, year after year.

  Every year he said no. Until now.

  His guilt had gotten the better of him.

  Guilt and love for the guys he’d grown up with under extraordinary circumstances.

  Davie had called him telling him about the birth of his first born. About how hard it was to pay for the hospital, the doctors, everything. Kendall had immediately offered him money, a gift with no strings attached. But Davie still had his pride, unlike the rest of the guys. He'd asked for one thing only: to do what they did best.

  Like he said, he knew he owed them. He knew it in his gut. So tonight, he was taking the stage with the band that had started him on his meteoric rise to fame eleven years ago.

  He sighed, staring out over t
he ocean.

  Just a few concerts to get the guys back on their feet. Then never again. He'd just go back to his life, whatever that meant.

  As long as there was good music involved, he knew he’d make it work.

  Chapter 2

  Jess

  This was it.

  Tonight was the night.

  All her embarrassing teenage dreams were coming true.

  Tonight she would shed her responsible, adult veneer and dive head first into hormonal angst and dance her butt off.

  In Tempo was back in concert.

  The tickets had been expensive. Almost impossible to get. But now, she could afford it.

  Jessica had been waiting to see her favorite band play forever. Ever since she was thirteen years old. Money for a ticket had been far out of her reach then, just like having a ride to take her, or a friend to go with.

  It had been so far from reality, those concerts might as well have taken place on the moon. By the time she was old enough to go someplace by herself, let alone afford the cost of a ticket, the band had broken up.

  That was more than seven years ago. A lifetime. Time enough for her to grow up and finally move out, as far away from home as she possibly could.

  Home.

  Even the word was a joke. She could have laughed. But there was no other word for the place you grew up in, no matter how dismal it had been.

  Anyway, she wasn’t one to dwell. She was on her own now. Just the way she liked it.

  Yeah, growing up had sucked. But she was well and truly grown.

  There was so much she’d missed out on. Fun stuff like doing your nails or shopping for a prom dress. Fun stuff like first kisses.

  So now, she was making up for lost time.

  Because now, she was a fully fledged Doctor of Veterinary Medicine.

  It was finally her chance to see her favorite band. Seeing Kendall, Davie, Gerald and Tom live in concert had long since passed her by.

  Technically she could have seen them. Some of the guys had solo careers now but in her opinion it wasn't the same.

  Besides, she hadn't kept up too much with their newer stuff. She didn't have time to listen to music that much now. But back then, it had been a lifeline.

  Those songs had literally saved her life. Those videos had been her friends. Those teen magazines had been her hopes and dreams.

  Jessica pretty much ignored pop culture these days, spending most of her time at work or volunteering at the Los Feliz Animal Shelter near her apartment. But when they'd made the announcement a few months ago, even she had noticed.

  In Tempo was getting back together.

  It was just for a limited reunion tour, true. And probably just to make some money. She wasn’t an idealistic teenager anymore. She knew that most of their careers were lagging, other than the lead singer Kendall Jackson. He was an even bigger star than he'd been before and always linked with one starlet or another.

  The man was incredibly talented and freaking gorgeous, so it wasn’t a surprise that he was more famous than ever.

  Okay, so maybe she paid attention a little.

  She grinned at herself. She knew she was being ridiculous. She was a grown woman now. She was over her school girl crush on the lead singer of In Tempo, the biggest boy band in the world at one time.

  Mostly over it anyway.

  So what if she was only interested in guys who looked like him? Who could blame her for liking tall guys with gorgeous sandy blond hair and green eyes? It was always a pale imitation though. Nobody really came close to Kendall in the looks department.

  Jess sighed dreamily, unable to stop the tiny flutter at the thought of him.

  Kendall looked like an old-school movie star with his mop of wavy hair and impossibly green eyes. They practically glowed. Never mind all those muscles.

  And the tattoos he’d gotten since the band broke up.

  Hmmm… the tattoos….

  She shook her head at herself.

  Things were different now. Much different.

  This time she had friends to go to the concert with. And this time, she could afford the ticket. The good seats even.

  It had been years since she was that lonely, frightened teenager with nothing but lint in her pockets and an empty stomach. They had been so poor that the electricity being on meant it was a good day.

  Still, she could hardly believe it. She was finally going to see the band that had gotten her through those difficult years, hiding in her bedroom with her Diskman turned up.

  God, she'd been a disaster.

  A late bloomer, and dirt poor with a drunk for a mother. She hadn’t had a chance in hell with a cute boy from a good family. Hell, she hadn't had a chance with anyone.

  She’d even hated herself.

  Jessica tugged the neckline of her top up. It was tighter than she remembered. She rolled her eyes, wondering when the last time she’d been out on the town. It wasn’t a habit, although her girlfriends did drag her out for karaoke once in a while.

  She wore scrubs so much of the time that she hadn't been shopping in forever. This top must be five years old at least.

  And she was falling out of it.

  The bright blue v-neck fit well everywhere else. It fit her waist and her shoulders. Plus it looked great with her light blue eyes. It was just… her boobs. Her big, gigantic boobs were drawing attention to themselves. As usual.

  Ugh.

  She’d gone from pimply and scrawny to what was commonly referred to as ‘stacked.’ Her boobs had their own zip code. She’d skipped the dewy, slender, gazelle like phase that most teenage girls went through.

  She’d gone straight from child to blow up doll. During medical school too. Not when it would have been actually helpful to look like sex on wheels.

  Well, there was no hope for it. Her other clothes were all in the laundry. Unless she wanted to wear the scrubs with little bunnies on them to a concert on a Friday night…

  Yeah, no. Not going to happen.

  She pulled on her favorite pair of tight fitting jeans and a pair of ankle boots with high wedge heels. She was short so heels were her one concession to vanity.

  The truth was, she wasn't just short.

  She was tiny.

  Until her boobs had made an appearance, Jess was often mistaken for a child. Even now, her new clients often reacted with shock when they found out that yes, she was the doctor who was about to treat their precious pets. Each time they quickly realized she was a damn good doctor. Her clients were very loyal to her after just one visit. Still, it was annoying as hell.

  It also kept her from dating too much. She tended to attract creeps with little girl fetishes. Well, lately she'd been getting asked out a lot, by all kinds of people. She hoped they weren’t all gross.

  But she had to keep her guard up. God knows, she'd learned early not to trust men.

  Not to trust anybody really.

  She applied a thin line of black liner to her upper lids. A little mascara, some lipgloss and she was done. There was no use in trying anything with her hair other than running a brush through it. It was naturally big and buoyant.

  She'd tried everything over the years before giving up. Serums, gels, you name it. She pressed her hands down on it briefly but it was no use.

  Yeah, Jess had been born with the hair of a country western singer.

  Jess grabbed her bag and ran out the door into the warm Los Angeles night.

  Chapter 3

  Kendall

  He had a weird feeling about this gig.

  Kendall was circling in his convertible, looking for the best way into the backstage parking area behind the Hollywood bowl. It was impossible. There was no easy way in.

  He passed the back entrance again and sighed. There was a big crowd back here already. He pulled over and raised the convertible top, mentally preparing himself to face the hoards. He didn't really want anyone to touch him while he drove by.

  He didn't mind the In Tempo fans, exactly. He thought
they were kind of sweet for the most part. And of course, he owed his success to them.

  But in a crowd, something happened to them. They lost all sense of decorum. All their frenzy, their emotions, everything was amplified by a thousand.

  No, a hundred thousand.

  Hell, they kind of scared him to be honest.

  One time he'd even had a hunk of his hair torn out. He ran his hand through it. Yep. Still missing a tiny bit of hair on the right side behind his ear. He grimaced.

  It was nice to have people love your music.

  But when they started to love him, it got weird.

  Fast.

  He didn’t need to be put on a pedestal the way the fans did. Certainly, it was not a basis for a healthy relationship, other than a one night stand. And even those could go horribly awry.

  One time a girl had locked herself in his bathroom and refused to leave. That was almost four years ago and the last time he'd brought home a groupie. It had just been a hotel room but still, he'd learned his lesson.

  Rule number 2 of being a celebrity according to Nick and Bruce: keep your distance from people who aren't in the business.

  It was just too risky, and they should know.

  The girls always expected too much, or not enough.

  It all came down to self respect. If a fan didn’t have it, it was hard to have good boundaries. So he steered clear. He had always separated work and fun, almost since the very beginning.

  Of course, his family and childhood friends were exempt from that rule. Basically, anybody who'd known him before he was famous was a safe bet. He loved hanging out back home in Split Rock, Colorado.

  Fuck, it almost made him feel normal.

  Kendall Jackson was not normal.

  He'd been catapulted to fame at the tender age of fourteen. A cute face, killer dance moves and a decent singing voice had landed him the lead spot in a boy band. He was still living in the shadow of In Tempo after all these years.

  He knew that he probably would forever.

  It was hard to complain about something that made all the cool things he'd done in his life possible. He'd travelled extensively. Base jumped off mountains. Surfed the best waves in the world. Eaten the best food.