CovertDesires

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CovertDesires Page 5

by Chandra Ryan


  Intent on defending Rowe’s abilities in the field, he turned to look at Harlow. “She did good. I’ve never been more proud. You should’ve seen her as she guided us through the woods to the compound fence. We could hear the dogs behind us but there wasn’t even a tremble in her hand.” He was so full of pride and admiration that it probably showed in his goofy expression but he didn’t care.

  “I swore I was going to kill you.” Harlow took a deep breath. “Your insistence on dragging her into harm’s way was enough for me to hate you. But when I saw you with her tonight…” Her smile held no warmth as she stared at him. “I wanted to gut you. To take advantage of someone as gentle and innocent as Rowe? That was a whole new level of low.”

  “Harlow.” Barkswell started to stand but a gesture from Harlow stopped him.

  “I’m not going to kill him. Sit down. He’s suffered a much worse fate as far as I’m concerned.” She held out her hand but there was no joy or welcome on her face as far as he could tell. “Falling for a prophet. You’re never going to know a moment of rest. But that’s really not my problem. Welcome to the family. You hurt her and I’ll track you down and torture you so badly they won’t be able to recognize the remains.”

  She’d read him. And whatever she saw in his head had been enough for her to welcome him into their select family. It should’ve made him feel better but it terrified him.

  Chapter Five

  Rowe spent the next week allowing her friends to smother her with good intentions. There was really no way for her to stop them. Besides she couldn’t shake the feeling something bad was about to happen. She liked being able to keep tabs on everyone. Even if they thought they were the ones keeping tabs on her.

  “Are you hungry?” Jack’s warm breath caressed her ear as he spoke. She loved waking up to his warm body pressed firmly against her back. And that was exactly how she’d woken every day this week. “Would you like me to make you an omelet before I leave for work?”

  She opened her eyes to the sun-streaked walls of her apartment and smiled. He did make the best omelets. But she had something else in mind. She rocked her hips so her ass would brush against his cock. Since she’d recently started sleeping naked she could feel him start to harden against her. “No.”

  He leaned forward to kiss her. “We don’t have time for that.”

  “Because you’d rather cook an omelet.” She rubbed against him once more before rolling over on her back. She loved staring up into his eyes. They were so peaceful. It set her at ease. Everything would be okay if he would just stay here with her. But he wouldn’t.

  “Of course not.” When he leaned forward to kiss her she wrapped her arms around his neck so she could bury her fingers in his hair. “But someone has to feed you.”

  “Harlow will. She’s coming over to visit today.” She didn’t even bother to argue that she could cook for herself. Almost everyone in her life knew that just because she could didn’t necessarily mean she would. Sometimes eating just didn’t seem overly important. She didn’t say that out loud anymore though. Not since she’d told Harlow and had seen the woman’s reaction. Apparently that was an untraditional opinion. So much so that it had gotten her scheduled for regular appointments with a shrink for a time.

  “I like cooking for you.” He dropped a gentle kiss on her nose as if to punctuate the statement.

  “And I like fucking you.” Sex with him was better than anything she’d ever eaten anyway.

  “You’re a very hard woman to say no to.”

  “Then you should say yes.” She sat up on her elbows and kissed him before he could debate the point any further. And when his body relaxed with surrender she nudged him so he was lying on his back. She was only really at peace when he was in her bed. And she planned on keeping him there as long as possible.

  Her head swam with endorphins by the time she broke away from him but the chemical high wasn’t enough. She wanted the heightened sensitivity that came with his touch. The exhilarating race of her heart as he possessed her. The frantic need to find bliss. She craved it all.

  She straddled his hips and then continued in her efforts to convince him to stay by kissing his jaw. The coarse stubble tickled but she loved the sensation. So much so that she rubbed her cheek on his before tracing the long column of his neck with the tip of her tongue.

  “Yes.”

  She smiled at the whispered word. “You are a smart man.” Her skin broke out in goose bumps as he cupped her breast in one of his calloused palms.

  “Or you are a very persuasive woman. One could argue that sleeping naked is cheating.”

  She looked up at him and cocked her head. Did he not want her to sleep in the nude? She’d never asked him. She just assumed he liked the feel of her skin on his as much as she did. But men made no sense to her. It was completely possible she’d misjudged. “I could sleep dressed if you’d rather.”

  His whole chest shook as he laughed. “No. I like a woman who knows how to cheat.”

  She smiled and then leaned forward so she could kiss his chest. His body was strong and warm under her. And when she put her palm on his sternum she could feel his heart beat faster. She excited him. And that made her content in a way she’d never experienced. “And I like the way you look in my bed.”

  After making her way a little farther down his body she kissed his navel. She was fascinated by this small indentation in his abdomen. She’d tried to overcome the fixation over the past week but her efforts had been in vain. Whenever she saw him without a shirt she wanted to caress the small hollow in the otherwise flat expanse of his stomach. Maybe it was because she didn’t have one. Or maybe it was because he shivered so enticingly when she traced its ridge with her tongue. Either way he’d come to accept her adoration. And judging by the way he arched his back as she nipped at it, she guessed he enjoyed it as well.

  “God yes.”

  She whimpered in concern when his hand left her breast. But when she felt his nails scoring her scalp she relaxed. She loved him caressing her body but this did allow her to explore a bit further. Which was what she really wanted anyway. Coarse hair rubbed her chin as she kissed the muscle that defined his inner hip. The sensation reminded her of how close she was to his cock.

  She gasped as he tugged on her hair. She’d been so focused on him she’d forgotten his hands were still wound in her tresses. It wasn’t a sharp pull. It didn’t hurt. But it had gotten her attention. And it’d made her thighs clench with a sudden wave of need. “Do that again.”

  This time when he pulled she closed her eyes and allowed herself to enjoy the full experience. Her heart raced and her stomach knotted with desire. But it wasn’t the normal hunger that filled her when he was near. This was deeper—darker.

  She tugged against his hold to intensify the burn of her scalp then relaxed against his thigh and hummed with pleasure as a tingle spread over the crown of her head. She ached with need. Her body burned to be possessed. She had to have him.

  She lifted her head and looked up at him. His eyes were heavy and his pupils were dilated but his attention was focused on her. “I can’t wait any longer.”

  One side of his mouth twitched in an almost smile. “I don’t remember asking you to.”

  But there was still something else she wanted to do before she succumbed to her hunger. She positioned herself so she was kneeling between his thighs and then took his cock in her hand. He was warm and hard and his skin was silken beneath her touch. She kept eye contact as she leaned forward and ran her tongue over the tip of his erection.

  His hips bucked and he clenched his jaw with what appeared to be raw determination but he didn’t object so she allowed herself to do it again. Only this time she swirled her tongue around the circumference of the head of his penis.

  “That feels incredible.” He let go of her hair and then grabbed the sheets next to his hips. “Don’t stop.”

  She had no plans on stopping—yet. Instead of telling him that, she decided to show him.
She dropped down and took his cock deep into her mouth. And as she caressed him with her tongue she cupped his balls in her hand.

  He moaned as his hips bucked and thrust his cock deeper into her mouth. “Yes. Just like that.” He was growing harder against her tongue with every second. “Now. I need to be inside you now.”

  She released him from her mouth but then ran her tongue along his length one last time before sitting up. “Did you grab a condom?” He’d made sure to put a large stockpile of them in her nightstand when he’d started sleeping over. She’d laughed at the time but now she was glad he’d had the foresight to do so. Having them so close at hand had saved an incredible amount of time over the past week—just as it did again today.

  He smiled as he held up one foil package. “Get up here.”

  She made her way back up him but brushed her body against his as she did. When she was looking directly down into his eyes he wrapped one arm around her waist and rolled her over so he was now on top of her. He kissed her deeply before pulling away from her. But he was only gone momentarily. As soon as he’d sheathed himself in the condom he was back in her embrace. She expected to feel him pressing into her but he paused. “What?”

  “I need to make sure you’re ready.” His smile was one of pure mischief. She didn’t trust that look.

  She wrapped her legs around his thighs so she’d be in a better position for him to take her. “I am.”

  “Then you won’t mind if I check for myself.”

  “Please.” She didn’t need him to check. Her body ached for his. Every second he wasn’t inside her was painful.

  “Thank you.”

  She was confused by his reply until he moved so he was kneeling between her thighs. “I didn’t mean that as ‘please check’. I meant…” The rest of the sentence was lost as he dragged his tongue along her clit.

  “I love how wet you are for me.” His breath was warm against her skin. “So hot and tight.”

  She moaned as he sucked on her clit. “You’re driving me crazy.”

  He kissed her one last time before sitting up. “We wouldn’t want that.” He inched forward on his knees until he brushed against her sex. She only had to shift her weight to her heels and tip her pelvis to position herself. When he finally pushed into her she sighed with relief. This was what she needed.

  Her hips rocked in time with his. The pace was fast and hard. Which was what she wanted. But she needed something more. When he brushed his thumb against her clit her entire body froze. Her muscles were locked with anticipation. And when he pressed down on the bundle of nerves she found what she needed. The world was lost in a rush of release. Her body shook and she could feel her throat tighten as she called out but all she heard was the whooshing of white noise. The moment hung like an eternity but was over in an instant.

  As soon as her body started to calm, Jack stretched out on top of her. His long and lean body fit hers perfectly. She loved how his weight felt against her and the visible flex of his muscles when she was caged under him. This was exactly where she wanted to be. She wrapped her legs around his hips and welcomed his thrusts.

  His movements became erratic and he swore as he reached his climax. She loved watching him in this moment. The pulse in his neck raced and his body glistened with a fine sheen of sweat. He was both at his strongest and at his most vulnerable at this moment. And he chose to share that with her. It meant something. It meant everything.

  “You are amazing.” His whispered words echoed her thoughts.

  “I like you.”

  He laughed as he pulled out of her. “That’s a good start, I guess.”

  She didn’t get the joke but didn’t sense any malice or hurt in it so she let herself relax as he disposed of the condom.

  “I’d love to spend the rest of the day in bed with you but—”

  “You have to go.” She wasn’t needy or clingy. But every time he left she could sense something bad was going to happen. It’d been a distant worry up until now. But today was different. It actually made her ache.

  “I do.” He got dressed and then sat on the edge of the bed and pushed her hair out of her face. “I would stay if I could.”

  “But you have to work.” She couldn’t stop her frown. It was becoming harder and harder to be left behind.

  “Don’t pout. You’ve only got a day or two left on your medical leave. Before you know it you’re going to be cleared to come back to work too.” He dropped down to kiss her forehead. “I’ll be back in time for supper.”

  “Be safe.”

  He smiled down at her. “Always.” And then he left.

  Her stomach started cramping as soon as the door closed. This wasn’t going to work. She couldn’t just hang around all day waiting for him. She had to go keep an eye on him. Make sure he was safe.

  She got up and dressed as quickly as she could. When she was brushing her teeth, though, she heard the door open again. At first she thought it was Jack. But when he didn’t call out she knew it wasn’t him.

  “Rowe? Rowe? Where are you?” That would be Harlow. There was no way she was going to be able to keep an eye on Jack now. Harlow wasn’t going to let her anywhere near the office until she’d been completely cleared.

  “I’m in the bathroom. Just brushing my teeth.”

  “Okay. I was thinking that maybe we could do a little shopping today.”

  In other words, busywork. “Sounds like fun.” Still, no reason she couldn’t use it to her advantage. “Would you mind if we stop by that little bakery on Atom?” It was just two doors down from the office. Jack always brought her something to eat from there when he came over after work. It’d be close enough for her to keep an eye on things. And if anything happened she’d be in the right place at the right time.

  “Not at all. Parker loves their bagels.”

  She made her way through the bedroom but took a deep breath before she stepped out into the living room. Harlow was a tough woman to fool. She had great instincts and, even if she didn’t, she could read minds. She would have to be at the top of her game if she were going to pull this one off.

  Before she could change her mind she placed her palm on the reader and the door slid open. “Thanks. I’ve been craving some of their pastries.”

  “I’m surprised you aren’t sick of them with as often as Jack brings them to you.”

  Oh no. Was she on to her? “What can I say, I’m addicted.”

  Harlow nodded and grabbed her purse off the countertop. For one moment Rowe thought she bought the act. But then Harlow cocked her head. “Wait.”

  Rowe’s stomach dropped at the single word. “If we wait, they’ll be out of the chocolate croissants.”

  “Come on, Rowe. Don’t lie to me.” Harlow put her bag back on the counter and then crossed the room so she was standing right in front of Rowe. “You don’t want a pastry. You want to keep an eye on Jack.”

  Damn it. Why was that woman always digging around in her head? “Why does it matter? You want to shop. I want to go to a store. Does the motivation really make a difference?”

  “Of course it does. It makes all the difference in the galaxy.” She reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Rowe’s ear. “What’s going on? You’ve been on edge ever since you got out of the hospital. You aren’t worried about your own safety. So why have us here around the clock?”

  Rowe had to look away. Not that it’d make a difference. If Harlow wanted to figure out what was going on, nothing would stop her.

  “You’re worried about all of us.”

  “I keep feeling as if something bad is about to happen.” She stared at a small spot on the floor as she spoke. “And I can help. I should help.”

  “Something bad did happen, sweetheart. And you did help. You saved Jack’s life.” Harlow pulled her into a hug. And the embrace made her feel a little better. She liked being held by others. Too much of her early life had been spent in solitude. “What you’re feeling is PTSD.”

  “No. This isn
’t post anything. It’s not over.”

  “It is over. They got the bad guys.” She guided Rowe to the couch as she spoke. “Hours and hours of interrogation went into making sure they got the right guys.”

  “They didn’t get him. The other guy said, ‘He’ll cut off your balls’, to Thomas. There has to be another person.”

  “He was probably talking about Jack. I could see him cutting off some balls.”

  “No. I mean, he would.” She couldn’t help but smile at the image. “But this is something else. I just need to go check up on him. Make sure he’s okay.” She was an adult. Harlow couldn’t hold her without her consent. It was time her friend realized that. “You can come with me or go home. But I’m not a prisoner in my own home and I won’t be treated as one.”

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Please. You have to know I’m doing this for your own good.”

  The words didn’t make sense but she was used to that. It wasn’t until she felt the prick of a needle that she started to worry. “Harlow?”

  “It’s just a sleeping aid. Something to help you rest. You haven’t slept well in days. It’s making you hysterical.”

  “I can’t sleep now. I have to go check on him.” But already her world was starting to get fuzzy.

  “He’s a big boy. He can take care of himself.”

  “I can’t lose him.” Her eyes were much too heavy. How was she going to find Jack if she couldn’t stay awake?

  “You just need some sleep. You’ll feel better when you wake up.”

  But she knew Harlow was wrong. Things would only be worse then. Much, much worse.

  Chapter Six

  Jack rubbed his temples as he stared at the screen of his digital reader. He’d been going through the case’s files all day. He’d studied the camp’s schematics, the militia’s financial records and the interrogations in search of something out of place. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong but something didn’t add up.

  Actually he knew what was bothering him about this case. It upset Rowe. She’d been doing her best to act normal. Well, normal for her. But he could tell. She was keeping something from him. She was nervous every time he left her side. And he’d been happy to spend as much time with her as possible. He’d hoped his presence would make her feel safe but that was a temporary fix at best. As much as he hated leaving her he had to go to work and somebody had to make sure she had groceries in the house. Plus it was just no way for her to live. She was a brave, strong woman. He hated to see her giving those bastards so much power over her.

 

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