by Colet Abedi
Fuck waiting.
I rip my mouth from his, allowing him to see the storm raging in my eyes. “I don’t want to wait.”
His eyes, alight with lust, flicker over my naked breasts, and I can see how torn he is. He looks as if he’s in pain. I know he wants me. Badly. I can feel how bad. I know enough to realize Trouble is walking a fine line, and he doesn’t quite know where he’s going to land.
I know where I want him to land.
Right between my legs.
He pushes back, moving away from me, and runs a hand through his thick hair. “You make me lose control.”
“I’m glad.” I can’t keep the smile off my face.
“Kerri…” he says, sounding anguished again.
“What is it?”
“I’m not good for you.” His brilliant blue gaze captures mine and won’t let go, as though he wants me to see everything.
“Let me decide.”
He shakes his head, cursing. “You’re just an innocent—”
“Please don’t use what I told you, in the greatest confidence, against me now,” I say, unable to stop my anger. “Don’t you dare.”
“Kerri.” His voice is hard now.
I lean forward on my knees on the couch, reaching under his sweater and touching his bare skin for the first time. It burns me. I feel as if I’m touching the sun. Trouble hisses in desire and tries to pull away, but I don’t let him.
“I’m not some fragile young thing.” I hold on to him, unable to keep the anger out of my voice. “I’m not going to break if things don’t work out, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not expecting a thing from you.”
The last part is kind of a lie, but Trouble doesn’t need to know.
I do expect something more. Because I know there is something more between us.
He knows it too. He’s just too afraid to acknowledge it yet. And that’s okay because I’m a patient woman, but I’ll be damned if I let him push me away.
Chapter Eight
Trouble
As Trevor often says to me, life tends to throw you curve balls you never saw coming.
The moment Kerri opened her mouth, I knew I was done. When she told me her story—as much of it as she could—I knew I’d be unable to use her against her father, that I would have to think of another way.
I can’t be responsible for another crime against her.
I won’t be.
And now the great dilemma.
What do I do with her now?
“Trouble?” she says, her blue eyes angry as a storm.
She’s fucking beautiful and I can’t think it enough.
She’s perfect.
And her mouth, God I want that mouth on mine…my body…my cock.
Jesus. I’m completely fucked.
“Kerri.” I close my eyes for a moment, then I have to get up from the couch to get away from her. I need space. I walk to the bar. “Trust me. This”—I motion between us— “is not a good idea for you. Or for me.”
“I like to make my own decisions about what’s a good idea for me or not, thank you.” She kicks off her heels and stands. She’s half naked, like a beautiful portrait. I’d get her painted like this.
If she were mine.
But she’s not mine.
The straps of the bra I picked for her and knew would fit her like a fucking glove hang off her shoulders, brushing against her silky skin. She raises her chin, her look haughty, like a queen from some distant land, looking at me like some wild, innocent young thing waiting to be tamed.
That’s the thing.
She is innocent.
Christ.
The bastard.
If there’s one thing I’m sure of with Kerri Harrington, it’s that I will have the name of her father’s associate. Of the man who assaulted her. I will find him, and I will kill the monster.
I see black just thinking about the horror she must have gone through. And all alone. God, she’s brave. To face it all by herself, with no support from family or friends, only a stranger licensed to help.
I will kill him when I get his name. Of that, I have no doubt.
Thankfully, Kerri has no clue of the storm raging in my mind or the murderous thoughts I’m having.
Unfortunately, she takes this moment to poke the bear.
“You’re not allowed to do this.”
“Allowed?” I question, cocking a brow. I make my way around the bar, trying to get as much distance from the intoxicating creature as I can. “You don’t get to order me around, princess.”
I know she can hear the harshness in my tone, but I don’t mind. She needs to know. This isn’t a game.
Kerri doesn’t seem to care. In fact, she looks as if she wants to murder me. “So this is how it’s going to be now? You can flip it off that easily?”
“How’s that?” I toy with her because I don’t know how it’s going to be, and I haven’t flipped off anything. I wish I could, but I can’t. I don’t even know what’s going on in my mind. I need to process everything I just heard, everything that’s happened between us. What the fuck it all means.
I need a moment to take it all in.
Kerri Harrington has changed the trajectory of my life.
“You’re going to run away because of what I told you.” She nods as if she’s solved the world famine problem. “Now you think I’m some fragile thing and you don’t want to hurt me.”
She’s right, and she’s too smart for her own good. But if I’m running, I don’t know where the fuck I’m going. I need a moment to think.
Kerri closes her eyes and shakes her head with a bitter smile. “Awesome,” she says sarcastically.
She walks to where she dropped her top and puts it back on. She then walks to the couch where she discarded her shoes and slips them back on. I can’t help but admire the view.
Goddamn her legs are fucking amazing.
She picks up her small, expensive black purse and turns toward me. I must say, she looks pretty pissed off. “Well, that was fun.”
She gives me a playful wink, but there’s an underlying edge to her energy. Something volatile that I know is waiting to explode. I don’t know where she’s going with this, so I wait.
“I want to thank you for making me realize I can feel something again.” Her words taunt me. “So I guess I’ll be seeing you around.” She waves at me like we’ve been the best of friends.
Now I’m amused. My gaze sweeps over her sexy body and outraged face, and I’m hit by another wave of lust. I almost want to give her what she wants. But I can’t. Not like this. Not here.
She deserves better. If I know one thing, that’s it. I won’t be convinced otherwise.
“Where are you going?” I throw back a shot of whiskey, thinking it might be a good idea for her to leave. I need to get Kerri out of my space. She’s clouding my judgment.
“I’m going to find someone to fuck,” she says so casually that I think I misunderstand.
“Pardon me?”
“You heard me just fine the first time.” She gives me a little friendly wave and blows me an exaggerated kiss. “So if you’ll excuse me, the night is still young and there are plenty of men out there I’m sure will be willing. After all, this place is all about pleasure and satisfaction.”
Over my dead body. The wave of possessive fury I feel nearly brings me to my knees. I’m enraged she’d even think of it as a possibility.
“I wouldn’t take another step, princess,” I warn her softly.
“Right, cowboy.” Kerri rolls her eyes as she reaches the door.
Like hell.
I’ve trapped her in a second. Her chest is against the door, my body plastered to her back. Her breath comes out in a hiss as I run my hand up her naked thigh and over her perfect ass.
“You’re not sleeping with another man.” My voice is filled with ownership, and I don’t give a damn if she hears it. All I know is there’s no way in hell I’m letting another man touch her.
&
nbsp; For a fact. And I don’t have the goddamn time to examine these feelings, so I’m just going to deal for now. She’s not sleeping with anyone but me.
“Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do?” She sounds snarky, and I know she’s more than displeased with me. Coupled with her sexual frustration, I’m pretty sure she probably wants to kill me.
At least we both have a healthy amount of anger going for us.
I move my hand around and cup her pussy, then pull her against me. I let her feel how much I want her, that I’m hard as a goddamn rock for her. “This is what you want.”
She gasps in outrage. “You just told me I can’t have it.”
“I didn’t tell you that.” My voice is low. “I was trying to warn you.”
“Okay, fine. You’ve warned me and so now I’m doing what you want.”
“Like hell,” I snarl, turning her around.
I lift her hands above her head and capture her mouth. My tongue finds hers as we grind our hips into each other, wanting something more. Kerri creates a storm in me, something I have no control over, and it frightens me more than I’d like to admit.
I tear my mouth from hers, both of us panting in need.
“What is this?” Kerri finally asks. “What kind of game is this?”
“It’s not a goddamn game.” My voice is raspy.
“It feels like it. You’re blowing from hot to cold to hot.”
“I’m trying to make sense of everything.”
“What is there to make sense of?” When I don’t respond she continues, searching my gaze. “Trouble?”
“Just give me a second.”
“For what?”
“To think.” I know my voice is unnecessarily aggressive, but I can’t help it. I’m happy she finally acknowledges the storm raging inside my mind and chooses to behave—at least for the moment.
“So what now?”
“Now?” I lock eyes with her. “We ride this storm and see where it takes us.”
****
My driver and I dropped Kerri off at her home in Hollywood Hills. The ride was torture, and it was all I could do to not fuck her brains out in the back of the car. We made out like teenagers the entire drive. I could barely let her out of my embrace. I wanted her to stay, and it took everything I had to not ask her to come home with me just so I could hold her, kiss her, and—hell, who am I kidding?
Do much more with her.
But it wasn’t time, not with all the raging emotions swirling around in my head. What she revealed to me about her assault was like a punch to the gut. I thought I knew everything about her—everything. A part of me feels as though I’ve failed her, as though I should have been there to protect her. I was watching over her then. I thought she went to therapy so much because she was a spoiled rich kid who was trying to deal with an overindulged life. Now I know different.
I should never have made the assumption.
And now this…
I know that Kerri and I will eventually sleep together. There’s just no way I’ll be able to stay away from her. It’s as inevitable as me breaking her heart—because I will still have my revenge against her father, only now I’ll have to find another goddamn way to hit him where it hurts the most. I always thought Kerri would be the grand finale…
Not anymore.
As for Kerri and me, bringing her to my house and fucking her like some booty call isn’t special enough. I want more for her. She deserves that.
What’s more, I still don’t know what I’m going to do with her. Where her place is in my life. It’s been one thing for so long and now…
The little witch. She’s completely beguiled me.
Maybe all the years of watching over her, studying her, maybe I entrapped myself. Made myself obsessed. Maybe I turned her into an addiction. My addiction.
Goddamnit. Everything is such a mess now.
As soon as I get in my house, I take a cold shower. It’s past four in the morning and I should be exhausted, but my body is wired. I feel more alive than I have in a long time.
I get in bed and look around my ultra-modern, sparsely furnished room. Money was no object when I built this house. I flew in a designer from New York to handle everything, and I’ve always loved my home. Every piece is handpicked, practically a collector’s item. It used to bring me pleasure, knowing that I was responsible for my own fortune. That everything I had was attained through hard work. Looking around now, it feels fucking empty.
Cold and lonely as hell.
My head is spinning. What is going on with me? Because I don’t have the time nor inclination to analyze it, I pick up my phone to look through my emails, hoping for a work distraction.
After five minutes, I give in and text Kerri.
TROUBLE: Are you safely tucked away in bed?
I’m glad Kerri doesn’t keep me waiting.
KERRI: I wouldn’t say safely tucked away.
TROUBLE: Then what would you say?
I smile in anticipation.
KERRI: Lying on top of my covers fully dressed in the outfit I wore to the club. Starving and thinking about pizza.
I laugh. One wouldn’t think it by looking at that body of hers.
TROUBLE: What’s your favorite?
KERRI: Pepperoni and mushroom, of course. And there’s this place in the village that’s my favorite and is open twenty-four seven. They just don’t deliver. I’m contemplating going to grab a giant pie and some Stan’s donuts to go along with it.
She sends emojis with the heart as eyes to back up her words.
TROUBLE: Not at this hour, sweetheart.
I’m agitated she’d even think about leaving her house at this time. It’s not safe.
TROUBLE: I’ll have it delivered to your house.
KERRI: I’m a big girl, Trouble. I can take care of myself.
With Daddy’s big wallet to back it up. For some reason, her father supplementing her life financially irritates the hell out of me. I don’t want her beholden to that bastard. Of course, I know I have no right to even have these thoughts. It’s not my place. And that begs the question as to why I’m having these thoughts…which again, I have no desire to analyze.
As for the rest, she might have an adjustment period getting used to my ways for as long as this thing between us lasts. I’m fucking possessive and like things the way I like them, but other than that, I’m pretty much a walk in the park.
TROUBLE: I already took care of it.
After I send the message, I send a quick text to one of my employees who I know is up because he does things for me all night around the club. And now he’s officially on pizza duty.
It takes a moment before Kerri texts me back.
KERRI: I see…
TROUBLE: Do you?
I wonder if she really does.
KERRI: I think I do…I can’t wait to eat. Thank you for being so thoughtful.
I hadn’t realized I was actually waiting for her reaction until I feel my body loosen. Her answer surprises me, and I’m more than irritated by my response. She gets under my skin as no one has before.
What is she doing to me?
TROUBLE: Enjoy.
KERRI: Why don’t you come over and enjoy with me?
Tempting.
KERRI: I promise it will be worth the drive.
Definitely tempting.
TROUBLE: I have a meeting in three hours. I should try to get at least an hour’s sleep.
She sends me a sad-faced emoji.
KERRI: Boring. But I understand…actually, all too well. I have a distinct feeling you’re probably a workaholic like my dad.
Her mentioning a similarity between her father and me is like pouring a bucket of ice over my head. I’m suddenly fucking furious at my own behavior. I remind myself how Kerri came to be in my life in the first place. The reason behind it.
Because of Tanya. Because of Kerri’s father.
What he did to her.
I must be losing my mind.
TROUBLE: Enjoy the pizza.
I throw my phone on the side table as if it’s poison. I need to get a fucking grip.
****
I play it cool with Kerri for the next few weeks, sending her text messages every couple days, checking in on her. The notes are friendly but aloof. At first, she tried to engage me in flirty, sexting territory, but when I wouldn’t take the bait, she stopped and her responses became tepid at best.
The last text I sent was almost a week ago.
I know she’s spinning. She probably thinks I’ve backed down for all the wrong reasons. I bet she regrets telling me her story, believing it’s the sole reason why I’ve cooled it down with her.
Herein lies the problem.
Because it is most of the reason.
The other side of it—the part I’m unhappy to admit—is because Kerri Harrington makes me feel unsure. For years, I’ve had a clear goal and purpose. Now, everything has changed. I don’t understand my reaction to her, why she triggers such possessive, protective emotions in me. I don’t understand why the fuck I hem and haw when I even think about Kerri touching another man. Why does it matter?
I pull into Trevor’s driveway for a Saturday barbeque with the family. His wife, Lianna, insisted I come over and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I usually see them all the time, but I’ve wanted to stay away. Something about being around their picture-perfect family stirs feelings inside that I’m not ready to analyze or even contemplate.
God, what the fuck is wrong with me?
