Trouble

by Colet Abedi

  “The baby isn’t make-believe,” she says softly.

  “No.”

  “And I told you before and I’ll tell you again, I don’t know if I believe everything was a lie. No one is that good of an actor.”

  “I refuse to allow myself to believe anything other than the facts. Right now, I’m just trying to keep my head above water.”

  “Come and see us. Stay out here,” she begs for the hundredth time. “It would be so good for you. I promise you’ll feel a million times better. You need to get out of LA.”

  I shake my head. “Not now. Right now, your home is the best gift you can give me. This is perfect.”

  “But you’re so close to everything,” Wyld says. “And you’re alone. I don’t want you to be alone.”

  “Alone is the only way I’ll be able to make sense out of my life.”

  “I guess I get it,” she finally says. “I’m going to try to come out there in a week or two. I just have to—”

  I hold up my hand. “You already came out here once and you’re not doing it again. I’m fine. You can FaceTime me every day and check in. I’m seriously okay. Look at me.”

  “I am, and I’m worried.”

  “This moment will pass. I promise.”

  “I love you,” Wyld says solemnly.

  “Love you too.”

  We hang up, and I do my best not to dwell on the conversation.

  I go back inside, intent on keeping myself busy with baking and cooking pasta. I order Instacart and spend the rest of the afternoon making cookies and cupcakes. I force myself to eat an entire bowl of pasta, and when it’s way past midnight, I’m finally able to fall into a dreamless sleep.

  ****

  It’s morning and I’m in the shower.

  As the warm water rushes down over my body, I try not to think about everything going on in my life. Actually, I try not to think about him. It’s almost impossible. To be honest, I think about Ian a million times a day. I miss him a million times a day.

  I long for him a million times a day.

  And I love him a million times a day.

  As much as I hate myself for it, I do, because no matter what the narrative is, Ian “Trouble” Sutherland changed my life. In every way. As my mind relives all of our moments together, I feel the energy in the room shift.

  Something feels different.

  My heart stops.

  I turn around, and the man who’s haunted my every waking moment is standing in the bathroom, outside the glass shower. We stare at one another.

  He looks like Trouble right now. Rugged and raw, with thick stubble and a handsome face that looks as if it hasn’t gotten much rest these past few weeks. He looks at me longingly, his brilliant, turbulent blue gaze never breaking from mine. My heart races like crazy as the electric connection we have crackles like a whip around us.

  He’s so breathtakingly handsome that I long…

  Long for something I don’t even know could ever be mine.

  His wild gaze searches my face as he steps into the shower fully clothed. He moves toward me, drenching his jeans and shirt. He stops when he’s only a few inches away. Water droplets trickle down from his thick lashes as he stares at me.

  I’m unable to say a word to him.

  I don’t even know what I should say. What I can say.

  So I wait.

  His hand rests on my bare hip and the single touch lights my body on fire. I feel as though I’ve been denied his touch forever. I have to close my eyes so he can’t see what that single caress does to me. He says my name with longing then leans into me and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close to him.

  Ian slowly gets on his knees and places a soft kiss on my abdomen. He places his cheek against my stomach with such reverence that it takes my breath away. Before I know what I’m doing, my hands are moving through his wet hair. We stay like this for a while. The moment is filled with so much emotion that I think both of us are unable to speak.

  Or neither of us know what to say.

  I’m the one to break the silence. My voice sounds hollow, even to me. “What do you want to tell me?”

  Ian stands and cups my face, forcing me to look up at him. I don’t know how long we stare at each other, but the depth of emotion that passes between us is palpable.

  I hate myself for the way he makes me feel. For the way I react to him. For the control he has over me. Because he does. Even now. With all of the lies between us, he still owns me. And I wish I hated him for it.

  But I don’t.

  “What do you want to tell me?” I whisper again.

  “That I love you.” Ian says the words I’ve been waiting forever to hear.

  Even though I don’t know what will happen between us, I cherish the moment like nothing before.

  “That I long for you.” The words sound as though they’re being ripped from him. “That these weeks without you have tortured me. That everywhere I look, I see your beautiful face. That your energy fills every room in my house. That I can’t sleep in my own bed because you’re not in it.”

  Tears stream down my face as I take in his words. I have to close my eyes to shield myself against the intensity, the truth in his gaze.

  “That you’re everything I could ever want,” he says as his fingers caress my check. “That you’re my dream come to life.”

  His voice catches, and I open my eyes and look at him.

  “You’re my sunrise and my sunset, Kerri.” Ian’s eyes are filled with so much love that I think I’m dreaming. “You’re the beginning and the end for me…and I can’t—” He closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them, they’re bright with unshed tears. “You’re my world.”

  I have to lean into his body. His arms wrap around me and he holds me close, kissing the top of my head as the water rains down around us. I let myself cry in his arms, borrowing some of his strength. His body warms mine. Being in his arms again feels so right.

  “I want you to know”—his voice sounds hoarse—“from the moment I set eyes on you, from the moment we saw each other at my club, I knew I couldn’t use you. Everything that happened between us, every moment was real. What I feel about you is real.”

  I move away from him and turn off the shower. The rest of the conversation is one that needs to happen outside of the shower. I’m suddenly acutely aware that I’m naked and my dream come to life is standing in front of me, looking more desirable than ever.

  “I’d like to dry off and put some clothes on,” I tell him quietly.

  He nods. “Of course.”

  “I can put your clothes in the dryer,” I say, looking at his soaking outfit. “And I think there might be a robe that will fit you.”

  He follows me quietly out of the shower, and I hand him a towel and one of the white robes. I wrap myself in a towel and leave Ian in the bathroom so that I can get dressed.

  My heart is beating a thousand miles an hour and I try my best to calm down. But it’s hard. He’s here. Ian is actually here.

  Every lie that exists between us flashes before me, and I suddenly feel sick that I have to finally face whatever my future will be with him. Once I put on my sweatpants and top, I walk out into the living area of the guesthouse.

  Ian is staring out on the view, and my mouth goes dry. All he has on is a white towel wrapped around his waist. I try not to stare at his tanned muscular back or think about how gorgeous he is…or what he does to my insides or how he makes my toes curl. Or how much I want those arms of his wrapped around my waist, pulling me close.

  “How did you find me?” I ask.

  “Jamie,” he says with a rueful smile.

  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I nod and wait for Ian to speak.

  “When our parents died, my first and last priority became Tanya.” Ian’s voice is rough with emotion. “She was so beautiful, so light and happy…she was all I had.”

  I sit on the couch and stay quiet, letting him just speak. The rock in my heart and t
hroat prevent me from saying anything anyway.

  “When she started seeing your father—”

  As he says these words, my heart falls to the floor and I have the sudden urge to vomit. Even though I know what a philanderer my dad is and was, it’s still hard to hear. My father the hero. He’s anything but that.

  “She didn’t reveal much about him to me.” Ian looks sad when he looks at me. “Only that she thought she’d met the love of her life. Everything about the relationship was secret, and I curse myself for not trying to learn more when she was alive. For not making her tell me more but I never thought…” He closes his eyes. “The day I got the call—”

  His face is etched with sorrow, and despite it all, my heart breaks for him. I can’t imagine the pain he went through.

  “It was the worst day of my life. When they told me what happened, what she’d done—I can’t tell you the depth of my grief. She was all I had left in the world, Kerri. She was my baby sister.”

  We lock eyes, and in that moment, I understand.

  “I became obsessed with Jon Harrington.” Ian’s tone changes into something colder, but the grief is still palpable. “I wanted to destroy him in the same way he destroyed me.”

  I wait for him to continue.

  “I learned everything I could about your father. Every weakness, every detail, anything my people could bring me, they did.”

  “And me?” I whisper.

  He looks back out at the view. “You’re the apple of your father’s eye. I believe you’re what he loves most, second only to his work. How do you make a man you hate suffer? Hit him where it hurts. I planned on using you.”

  “All the things you know about me…”

  His blue eyes lock with mine. “I’ve been watching you. I feel like I’ve been watching you forever. It started as revenge.”

  My heart stops, and I wait for him to go on.

  “You were a means to an end, a way to pay your father back. To avenge my sister. Her death. Her fucking life!”

  My body feels raw with pain and anxiety. I have to hold my hands to stop the trembling.

  “But it turned into something else.” He walks toward me and kneels in front of me as I sit on the couch. “You became an obsession. My obsession. As dangerous and unwanted as it was and is…but maybe even that was inevitable.” He places his hand on my knees and the warmth melts my entire body. “So here we are. I’m sorry. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to break your heart. But you…from the moment we met face to face, something shifted inside me. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

  Ian’s voice is barely audible when he says, “You’re all that I want.”

  His eyes are bright with unshed tears. Mine flow freely as I let his words permeate my soul.

  “This thing between us.” He takes my hand, and all I want to do is melt into his touch. “This is the only thing that matters to me. We belong together. There is no one else for me, and I know I’m the one for you.”

  He kisses my hands and breathes in my scent, and my traitorous heart beats a thousand miles a minute. “The road to forgiveness and healing won’t be easy, but I want to take it with you because I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I’ll do anything for that chance.”

  His eyes are filled with both longing and despair. “I love you, Kerri. I want you to be my wife. I want this child to be the first of many. I want to give you the world.”

  I stare at the man I love.

  I think about all that he told me. All that has happened between us. Our past. My father. Tanya. All of it moves around in my head, and I try to make sense out of what I feel because despite it all, despite all the ugliness we have to move through, despite all that I have to forgive him for, despite it all…

  I want to give us a chance.

  I want to try.

  Because this man is my world.

  I know it with every fiber of my being.

  He is my beginning and end.

  He is my soul mate.

  “Give me a chance to make you happy. Forgive me for hurting you. Forgive me for causing you pain. Let me spend my life making it up to you.” He brushes the tears from my eyes. “Please give me another chance. Let me love you forever.”

  I’m overcome with raw emotion, and the only thing I can do is fall into his strong arms. His mouth crushes mine, and we kiss as though it’s the first time. Because maybe it kind of is.

  I taste my salty tears and a few of his as we bury ourselves in each other’s embrace. I pull my lips from him and cup his cheeks so I can stare in his eyes.

  I say the only thing I can, the only word that paves the way for my future, our future…

  Together.

  “Yes.”

  Three Years Later

  Epilogue

  Ian

  I stand in the doorway of Alexander’s room and watch my wife sing a lullaby to our newborn second son. Sometimes I can’t believe I got so lucky.

  Life has been good to me.

  Kerri and I have two boys, and as soon as we can, I plan on working on giving her the baby girl I know she wants next. My purpose in life is to make her happy. Or to try to make her as happy as she’s made me. The greatest miracle of all is how Kerri has brought joy back to my life. Our family is beautiful, and she’s made our home warm in every way. I hardly ever want to leave her side. If I have to go on a business trip for longer than a few days, the entire family comes.

  Our main home is up north, close by to Trev and Lianna. Our families get to spend a lot of time together. There are moments when I watch our kids play and I can’t believe my good luck. I thank whoever is out there everyday for the blessings in my life.

  Kerri and I worked out our issues. The road to recovery wasn’t easy, but we made it. When Colt told her father the truth, there were some turbulent months, but because Kerri was pregnant, her mom was instrumental in bridging that gap. I still can’t stand to be alone in a room with Jon Harrington, but I tolerate him as my wife’s father, and she loves him. After the birth of our first son, Max, I finally accepted that Tanya chose her destiny.

  “What are you looking at?” Kerri whispers as she looks up from our sleeping son’s face.

  “My two angels.”

  She gives me a beautiful smile. “You actually have three.”

  “Once you put the baby down, I’d like to try for four,” I say suggestively. “I know how you worry about my soul.”

  “So what’s the plan, slick?” she asks, all the love in the world shining out of her eyes. “Fill the house with angels from heaven so you’re guaranteed an entrance in?”

  I cock a brow. “How did you figure it out?”

  “Don’t I know you.” She places the baby in the crib, then walks over to me and wraps her arms around my waist.

  Her gaze finds mine, and my heart clenches. I run a finger down her cheek. “How did I get so lucky?”

  “We both did,” she says and takes my palm and kisses it.

  “I love you, Kerri Sutherland.”

  “And I love you,” she whispers before getting on her toes to kiss my lips. “Even though you’re a whole lot of Trouble.”

  -THE END-

  Also by Colet Abedi

  Mad Love Series

  Mad Love

  Madly in Love

  Mad Love 2

  Madly Addicted

  The Mad Love Series Box Set

  Tame

  The Wild Duet

  Wild

  Wilder

  Wild Series Box Set

  Young Adult Fantasy written as C.J. Abedi

  FAE Trilogy

  Fae

  The Dark King

  The Queen

  About the Author

  After publishing her first article in a national magazine when she was fifteen, Colet Abedi knew she wanted to tell stories. She’s now a bestselling author, screenwriter and television and film producer based in Los Angeles. She was born in Virginia and currently lives in Los Angeles with her four adorab
le rescue dogs. When she's not writing she's either off on an adventure in a far off land or planning her next getaway. She writes contemporary romance and young adult.

  She sits on the board of directors for Actively Moving Forward, a grief support network for young adults, is on the advisory board for Jade Recovery, a foundation dedicated to helping those struggling with mental health issues as well as a Member of the Brain Trust Committee for John Wayne Cancer Institute.

  CONNECT WITH THE AUTHOR

  TWITTER: @coletabedi

  INSTAGRAM: @coletabedi

  FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/coletabedifan/?fref=ts