Flawlessly Broken (Broken #2)

by Anna Paige

  Brant gave me a quick nod and headed off back the way he came.

  I turned back to my unexpected guest and folded myself into the wing-back chair across from him. “So, let’s hear what you thought was so damned important.”

  “Talia lied,” he said simply, taking another sip of his water. “She’s not with me. Never was. Never will be.”

  I sat up woodenly. “Don’t try to play me, Derek. I saw you together, remember?”

  “You saw her telling me goodbye and wishing me well after I practically begged for her forgiveness for what I did when we were in college. Nothing more.” He frowned at me, a disbelieving look on his face. “You honestly believed a woman like Talia would cheat?”

  “When it’s right in front of my face and she’s admitting to it, what reason do I have not to believe it?” I countered.

  “Because you should know her better than that. A man who truly loves her would have known. That’s one of the reasons why I’m here. Because I thought you were the real deal and now I’m not so sure.”

  I sat with my elbows braced on my knees, hands fisted together. “And what difference does it make to you? Either she was telling the truth and you already have her, or she was lying and you’ll never have her. Either way, how I feel about her shouldn’t make one damn bit of difference to you.”

  “But it does. Because I don’t want you to fuck up the way I did.” He glared at me, challenge in his eyes for the first time.

  “I didn’t leave her, you little prick. She ended it.” If he was looking to piss me off, he was doing a damn good job.

  “And why do you think she would do something like that? Assume for the sake of argument that I’m telling you the truth and she made up her relationship with me. Why in the hell would she do something like this, something guaranteed to hurt you, despite the fact that she loves you—which is a goddamn fact that I refuse to argue about? I can only think of one reason.” He paused for effect and I wanted to slam his pointy little head into the coffee table between us.

  “Well, how about sharing it with me then, because I’m at a fucking loss as to why someone who claims to love me would do something like that.” I forced the words through gritted teeth.

  “She thought she was protecting you.”

  Never in a million years would I have expected that answer. “Protecting me from what, Derek? Being happy?” I blew out a sarcastic breath and was about to light into him again when something occurred to me that made my blood turn to ice. Oh, God, no... “Is she sick?” I croaked, feeling the panic seep all the way into my bones. She’d made comments about Amelia’s cancer and genetics... was she trying to tell me something?

  Please, God, not that...

  Derek sat up and moved to the edge of the couch, looking like he wanted to reach out for me or something.

  Oh, fuck. She’s sick.

  He was shaking his head and sputtering, looking at me with an unreadable expression that terrified me. “No, she’s not sick. Shit, didn’t mean to make you think that. I’m sorry...”

  Before he could finish, I had him off the floor by his collar, his face no more than an inch from mine. “You better not be lying to me, Wheeler. I swear to Christ, I will fucking kill you. If she’s sick, I need to know. Now.” My pulse was roaring in my ears as images were called to mind, my previously-imagined scenarios of her sitting by Amelia’s bedside shifted, and suddenly she was in the bed and it was me sitting there helplessly, holding her hand.

  His eyes bugged out slightly but there was no real fear in his eyes, just shock. Eventually he managed to speak, looking evenly into my near-hysterical face. “She’s not sick.” I set him on his feet, still holding onto his collar as he finished. “But she’s afraid her future children would be. She also gave me the impression that she feels like having more kids would be like replacing her daughter, though she didn’t come right out and say so. She doesn’t want to rob you of the chance to be a father just because she’s afraid to have more kids, so she cut you loose.”

  I let go of his shirt and dropped down to sit on the coffee table, hitting the surface hard enough to make Derek wince. “She’s really not sick?” I asked in a small voice, fighting the urge to cry with relief. I looked up at where he stood towering over me. “You swear she’s okay?”

  He reached a hand out and gripped my shoulder, comforting the guy who was just about to strangle him. “I swear to you, man. If she were sick, I would tell you. She’s healthy as far as I know. She’s just afraid and carrying around a bunch of guilt that isn’t hers to bear. And as much as I want to keep my promise to remain silent—because I owe it to her to finally show her the loyalty she deserves—I just can’t let her do this. There isn’t a single doubt in my mind that she’ll regret it. That’s why I came to you. You’re the only one that can help her now, the only one she loves enough to listen to on this.”

  “I thought you said you didn’t think I even loved her,” I muttered, fighting to calm down. My entire body had gone on red alert at the thought that she might be sick and the adrenaline was taking its time leveling out.

  Fuck, was I shaking?

  I was shaking.

  I was sitting there in front of the guy I’d spent the last several goddamn weeks punking down, and I was shaking like a fucking leaf.

  Just great.

  So much for the intimidation factor.

  He let go of my shoulder and retook his seat on the couch, meeting my eye with more confidence than I’d ever seen from him. “I wasn’t sure I believed you truly loved her,” he shook his head, “because it would have been easy to hate you if you were just another asshole looking for someone to prey on. But seeing the look on your face when it occurred to you that she might be ill, the stark terror that shot through you like an electrical charge... I’ve never seen anything like it. You were about to choke me out and all I could think was that I was doing the right thing by coming here. I have my answer. You love her. You love her more, better, deeper than I ever could.” He stood and moved to the side, waiting for me to do the same.

  When I got to my feet, he extended a hand in my direction, waiting for me to take it. “I meant what I said about taking that punch but I’m hoping a handshake will suffice. After all, I’m on the market and it’s hard to find anyone interested in a guy whose face looks like hamburger,” he joked easily, knowing from my expression that I wasn’t going to slug him.

  I took his hand and shook it, giving him a grudging smile. “Yeah, I think we’re good. Besides, that face is going to be a hard enough sell as it is. No need to exacerbate the problem.”

  He coughed out a laugh and tipped his chin, releasing my hand as he turned toward the door. “Tell me about it,” he joked. “But at least now I have a little hope for the future. I’m letting go of the past and all the shit that goes along with it.” He turned back to me in the open doorway. “I really hope you can find a way to get Talia to do the same. You two... well, I know a good thing when I see it.” He smiled one last time and was gone, pulling the door closed behind himself with a soft click.

  I sat back on the table, dropped my head into my hands, trying to disentangle my racing thoughts.

  Before I did anything with this new information, I needed to figure out what the hell I wanted out of life.

  No matter which path I chose, I was losing out on something amazing... but deep down I knew what choice I would make. The one I had to make, no matter how far my stomach fell at the mere thought of what—or whom—I was giving up.

  Sometimes, when you know in your heart you’re destined for something, you have to follow a path you never thought you would in order to get there.

  As I sat there in that opulent, impersonal hotel suite, staring out the window in the direction of Talia’s apartment, I wanted so badly to be able to make a different choice.

  Talia

  THE WEEK HAD flown by so quickly, so smoothly, that I could barely catch my breath. Cameron and his mom, Hailey, had been the best company I could have
asked for. We went to all the places on Spencer’s itinerary and then some. We ate in lots of restaurants including mine—where I introduced Hailey to Gina as a college friend and Hailey played along without question. Cam said he liked my food best, high praise from a finicky eater like him.

  We stayed up late watching movies or playing games, we talked about school and how much he loved baseball. His favorite adventure of the week was, of course, the Washington Nationals game. I’d never seen Cam so energetic and full of life. Even Hailey had commented on how nice it was to see him so excited.

  She told me again and again to thank Spencer for them, and I always nodded and told her I would when I spoke to him next.

  I knew it might be a long time before he wanted to speak to me again, if ever, but at least I knew I could deliver my thanks in person at the wedding… one of them, anyway.

  I tried my best not to think of him, managing fairly well while Cam and Hailey kept me company, but once I was alone in my room, his memory seeped in like smoke through a keyhole and enveloped me. Crying myself to sleep while holding that notecard had become a nightly ritual, but the duration was thankfully dwindling and I was able to find sleep a little sooner each night. Not that I wasn’t dreaming about him, but at least there were no tears in my dreams. Just he and I, smiling, laughing, in our little corner of forever that only existed behind my sleep-heavy eyes.

  It was Saturday night and Cam had fallen asleep early, tucked in on the sofa with the blanket pulled up to his chin. He looked like an angel lying there and it made my heart squeeze.

  We still hadn’t gone to her grave. Cam said that he wanted to wait and see her on his way home so it wouldn’t make him sad all week. His reasoning was that leaving would make him sad anyway, so it was better to do all the sad stuff at once.

  For a ten year old, he sure was smart. Smarter than a lot of adults, actually.

  Myself included.

  I sat beside Hailey at the counter, sipping hot tea and chatting about life in general. Cameron’s dad, Mason, was in the military, stationed halfway around the world until sometime in the fall, and I knew that had to be hard on them both. She talked about how her elderly mother-in-law helped with Cam as much as possible while Hailey worked, and how things were always busy but she never complained.

  She said she and Mason had been trying for another child before he got deployed, joking quietly that they planned to get right back on track as soon as he was home again.

  When I didn’t laugh or return her smile, she started. “Talia? You okay?” Her light brown hair fell in her eyes as she leaned toward me. “Tell me I didn’t offend you with the innuendo. I’m sorry if I did. I figured you’d think it was funny, or at least pity me my pathetic sex life.” She chuckled uncomfortably.

  I tried for an amused smile, hoping to reassure her. “I’m sorry, it’s not that. I’m as far as you can get from a prude.” I forced a laugh. “And I do kind of feel bad that you aren’t getting any.”

  She laughed and tossed a quick look toward the blissfully sleeping Cameron before returning her attention back to me. “Okay, so then what was it?”

  How to phrase this? Hmm... I turned my smile up a notch and leaned closer, not wanting to risk Cameron hearing us if he was playing opossum. “It’s just... I’m not sure how to ask you this...”

  She patted the back of my hand and shook her head. “After all we’ve seen each other through, I doubt there is anything you couldn’t ask me. So just speak your mind, honey. You know I would.” She quirked a brow and I was instantly reminded of how she went to bat for Cameron to be allowed to see Amelia at the hospice. The staff had finally broken the rules and let him in because the alternative was to call the cops on her and have her removed. She’d been adamant about it and didn’t give a shit what the rule books said.

  She’d kind of been my hero that day. I was so worn, so heart-sick and bone-weary, that I didn’t think I had it in me to fight anything anymore. Then in walked Hailey, and I knew it would be handled.

  Steeling myself and mustering my courage, I asked, “I was just wondering if you were worried that if you have another child they will get sick like Cam? I mean, isn’t that a concern?”

  Hailey sat back for a moment, pursing her lips in thought. “Honestly, we both had concerns. Have concerns.” She amended. “But we sat down and talked about it, the odds, the risks, and did the math—which basically says the risks are the same as any other child—and we decided to put all that aside and just have faith that it won’t be the same this time around.” She looked at Cameron’s small, blanketed form again with a wistful expression. “And even if it is, we still have each other just like before and we will get through it just like before. This is a family of fighters.” She blinked a few times to clear the moisture from her eyes and reached out to give my hand a squeeze. “You’re a fighter too, Talia. You just need a reason to remember that.”

  I glanced down at my mug, feeling her studying me and wanting to avoid her sympathetic gaze. Chances were, she’d heard me crying at night despite my attempts to hide it from them both. And despite my telling her that Spencer had taken off so we could spend our visit together, she had hinted once or twice that she knew something was wrong between us.

  Still staring at my mug, I watched as her hand crept across the space between us and clasped gently onto my wrist. “Talia?”

  I looked up at her, trying to hide my thoughts as best I could behind my soft smile. “Hmm?”

  “I got a letter from the hospital the day before we came here.”

  I frowned and nodded for her to continue, unsure of what she was trying to tell me.

  She tipped her head down with a soft smile, eyes shining in the light. “Someone paid off the rest of Cameron’s medical bills. All of it.”

  My chest squeezed and I turned, pulling my wrist from her grip so I could hold her hand instead. “Who? Did they say who?”

  She shook her head, tilting it slightly to the side and smiling in a way that confirmed she was thinking the same thing I was. “It was done anonymously. But I think we both know who it was and I can’t even begin to say how thankful I am for him. And for you.”

  “Me?” I frowned. “Why me? None of this was my doing.”

  Her smile widened and she squeezed my hand fondly. “All of this was because of you. Because of how much you love Cameron.” She waved a hand toward the couch behind her, toward the sleeping child who lay on it. “When we were on the plane, Cam asked me if I thought you were happy. I said I liked to think you are. He told me then that the reason he has to talk to you every week—aside from the fact that he adores you—is that he promised Amelia he’d watch over you. She told him to make you laugh and smile because she didn’t like it when you were sad.” Her chin trembled and she leaned her head back, blinking away tears.

  “He also made a pretty astute observation about Spencer,” she told me thickly, clearing her throat.

  “What?” I managed to whisper hoarsely.

  She was blinking fast, clearing away unshed tears as she met my eye. “He said Spencer sure must love you a whole lot to do such nice things for your friends.” Her voice became suddenly steady, imploring eyes unblinking and locked on mine as she added, “I tend to agree. And whatever is going on right now, you might want to keep something in mind… Love like that doesn’t just vanish, honey. A man who makes room in his heart for the things you love, simply because you love them; he’s a keeper. Those don’t come around every day.” With that, she stood and walked to the sink, rinsing her cup and putting it in the drainer. Smiling over at me, she went to collect her son to carry him to bed, just like I used to do with Amelia.

  My head was still spinning.

  He did all of this for me… and look how I repaid him.

  Tears rolled down my face as I made my way to my room, glancing at the closed bedroom door between me and my guests as I passed. I didn’t want them to leave in the morning. Partly because I was going to miss them terribly and partly becaus
e once they were on that plane, I would be forced to face what I had done.

  I stopped mid-way down the hall and turned back toward the living room, padding over to the bureau near the front door. Crouching down, I reached inside and took out the thick, fabric-covered photo album that held Amelia’s baby photos, and took it with me to bed for the first time in more than two years.

  I had a feeling tonight’s crying session was going to run long.

  THE MORNING AIR was crisp and mild, spring finally deciding to make an appearance, even if it was fleeting. The forecast called for another temperature drop in a few days, but at least it had been warm for most of Cam’s visit. For that I was thankful.

  I parked my Jetta on the tiny road that looped and swirled through the cemetery, cutting the engine and glancing in the direction of the small angel statue that marked my daughter’s final resting place. I glanced over my shoulder into the sweet face of my Amelia’s best friend and smiled reassuringly. “Cam, I’m going to show you and your mom where it is and then I think I’ll go for a walk, give you time alone with Amelia. Is that okay?”

  He nodded firmly, not afraid in the least. I could have taken Hailey with me and he still wouldn’t have cared. He’d been waiting for this for a long time. I watched him as I rounded the back of the car and met him on the passenger side, offering my hand. He’d been turning the small floral envelope in his hands all the way to the cemetery but now he held it firm and walked with confidence at my side. It was beautiful how brave he was. And heart-rending. He shouldn’t be this well-accustomed to dealing with life’s tragedies already.

  It made me immeasurably sad.

  We reached the far corner of the lawn, near the tree line and bench that I often sat on while I talked to Amelia. I pointed out her marker and he nodded toward the covered vase. “That’s where I leave the note, right?” His voice was thick and I felt the prickly sensation in my nose that meant I was about to tear up so I simply nodded and ruffled his thick hair as I walked off in the direction we’d just come from.