Caravan Witch (Questing Witch Book 2)
Page 15
It was as if the marks were . . . moving with us. The thought momentarily stunned me. Was that even possible?
“You’ve thought of something,” Alex said. “I can see it in your face.”
I rubbed my fingers into my forehead. “Just a hunch. I hope I’m wrong so let’s leave it for now.”
They were quiet, waiting on me to make the final decision. Because as much as Richard led the group, so did I. And following the big-ass ogre was my idea, for good or for ill.
“We’re in it now. There is no way we can make a hundred miles, even if there was food waiting on the other side of it,” I said. We all looked to the ogre who was once more making eyes at the shifter women.
“Crimson, keep the women away from him,” I said, shaking my head. “We don’t need more drama in the camp.”
“Agreed,” she said, watching with disapproval as Roe and one of the shifter woman winked back and forth.
“So what do we do, fearless leader?” I asked Richard, handing the reins back to him.
He drew himself up and for the first time in days I saw hope in him. “We go to this wall, we get the food. You’ve led us this far and somehow, I don’t believe you’ll lead us to our end. You’ll get those kids to the Haven. One way or another.”
I nodded and thought of Frost and the other kids. They were our future. But they’d never make it if we starved to death. I was still the one who had to keep us all alive, and I would go down swinging if I was going down.
“The wall it is. We’ll leave at first light,” I said, trying to swallow past the growing pit in my stomach, wondering just exactly what the dawn would bring.
13
The next morning, we packed everyone as tightly as we could and headed north. The going would continue to be slow and still not everyone fit in, but we worked out shifts for those who could take time walking. The one upside—if you could call it that—of less food was more space for people.
The three littles were restless and tired of being stuck in the Humvee, so Crimson, Oka and Lynx carried them in their animal forms. We’d rigged up straps to hold the kids on and for the kids to hold onto.
“Fetish wear, good use for it,” Roe bobbed his head in approval. I shot him a glare. “But those kids are sitting ducky ducks.” He made a flapping motion with his hands.
“Shut your mouth,” I said. “Don’t you even look at those kids.”
He shrugged and turned his attention to the shifter who’d made kissy faces at him. She was a wolverine shifter and had a bad attitude from what I knew of her. Maybe they’d be a match made in heaven.
And maybe she’d rip off Roe’s balls just for shits and giggles.
I looked back to the kids. They were squealing and laughing as they thumped the sides of their “ponies” with their heels hard enough to make them grimace. I knew Crimson would only let Ruby call her a pony, so naturally I made a mental note to tease her about it later.
“Faster, faster!” Frost squealed at Oka who promptly slowed her steps.
At least there was laughter. And the word had spread that Roe knew where there was food, so there was hope too.
And that soothed a lot of the ruffled tempers because of empty bellies.
“A few miles down the road, and we’ll have to turn north, and blaze our own trail to the wall,” Roe said.
Alex held the compass. They did wonky things with me because of my magic. A compass and a sometimes-truthful ogre were our guiding lights.
Not what I’d call a stellar lineup.
And the idea that we’d be able to do it in five days . . . while I knew Richard was being conservative, I wondered even at that. Five days on a mostly flat road to cover that distance with no one walking was normal for us.
We’d be lucky to get ten miles a day.
“The second we hit rough terrain,” Mac said quietly to me, “this caravan is going to grind to a near halt.”
“I know,” I said just as quietly.
And we were right, and it came far sooner than I’d hoped. Unfortunately.
We turned off the road when the trees parted enough to let us through and started to make our own trail northward. But there was no road now. Not even a hint of one.
“Roe claimed the wall was so huge, all we had to do was go north and we’d hit it,” I said.
“I find all of this very hard to believe,” Jasmine said out of nowhere, passing us by. “I don’t think you have any idea what you’ve gotten us into, you dirty little witch.”
That last bit was just low enough that I heard her.
I clenched a fist and worked to keep my hands from snapping out and wrapping around her neck.
Oh, sweet daughter, what will it take for you to see that you are not what you believe? That elemental blood is not your calling. It is not what your heart wants. I see it in you. This voice was still the magic, but more too. This was some essence of my birth mother spilling into me, up through my mind.
Cold sweat popped along the back of my neck as my stomach twisted into a spectacular knot.
“Quiet,” I growled and Jasmine shot me a look that would have struck down a lesser person.
No, I have given you your head. I have allowed you to try to find the balance. You are the pupil, and I the teacher now.
I gritted my teeth and struggled to swallow over the sheer panic that rose in me.
“You should be afraid of me,” Jasmine snarled.
My hand shot out, fingers flexed and the magic that poured from them was thicker than ever before, like woven black ropes that wrapped around her arms, legs and mouth.
And I didn’t do it. I mean, it wasn’t me controlling my body, not me lifting my fingers, crooking them, pulling her forward. Her eyes were wide as she fought and struggled and those around us backed up rapidly. I dragged her through the dirt, her toes digging in for purchase and gaining none.
This one will die.
My mouth opened.
And a hand settled on my arms, warm and familiar. Wolf.
Another hand on the other side, home, safety. Bear.
I sucked in a breath and slumped into Mac, the magic releasing Jasmine. He caught me easily, holding my weight as if I were nothing as Jasmine struggled to get away at high speed. But Alex was there, and he caught her by the arm.
“Jasmine,” Mac said quietly, “perhaps you shouldn’t piss off our caravan witch. Next time, we might not be here to stop her.”
I struggled to see through the haze over my eyes, the anger of my mother’s magic rippling upward, trying to take control.
Alex steered Jasmine away, but not before his eyes met mine, full of worry. And then they lifted to Mac, and the look changed to one I didn’t recognize at first. Then I got it. He and Mac were having a moment of complete understanding when it came to me. They were both worried.
Oka was there in a flash, Frost on her back. Her green eyes were as worried as Alex’s golden ones. “Pam?”
She would have felt the magic take me, as Mac had. “I’m okay.” I laced my fingers with Mac’s, terrified that if I let go, my mother would come through me again.
I had to find a way to stop this, to actually keep her and the magic at bay.
The caravan had barely slowed with the near fight, a blip on the radar of those around us.
Oka settled in beside me and Frost chattered away.
“There is going to be some legends along the way,” he said brightly. “I’m sure we can find them.”
I couldn’t help but smile at him, even with the fear that still danced along my nerve endings.
“Legends?”
“Magic legends. Sometimes they are hidden under rocks. You have to dig them out, you know.” He bobbed his head in agreement with himself.
Greenery surrounded us, and the sun streamed through here and there. The river ran southbound to our right, and we followed it as close as we could. If nothing else, we had water.
But suddenly going hungry didn’t seem like such a bad thing compared to w
hat had happened back there.
Fifteen or twenty minutes slid by before Mac spoke to me. “What happened?”
I tightened my hold on him. “My mother’s magic is dark, and it’s all I have right now.”
“Right, we’ve gone over this. Use it only if you have to.”
I nodded. “That wasn’t me back there. My . . . mother, or her spirit, or whatever is tied up in the magic and my blood took over. I couldn’t stop what was happening.”
He was quiet a moment. “Maybe you didn’t want to? Maybe that’s why it could do that.”
I wanted to be angry, but he had a point. I didn’t like Jasmine. If it had been Mac, or Oka or Alex, I would have fought with all I had.
“I don’t know,” I said, much as those words wanted to stick in my throat. “I just don’t know. But . . . I think it’s been coming for weeks, trying to find a way to use me the way it wants.”
“And because you don’t give into the darkness, it’s tired of waiting,” Mac said. As if he knew.
I frowned up at him and he shook his head. “Just ignore me.”
We slowed our steps until we were at the back of the caravan.
Alex and Jasmine walked ahead with the other shifters, Jasmine shooting looks back to me that were sometimes fear, sometimes pure fury.
What surprised me was Marley dropping back to walk next to me in her human form. Mac tried to let go but I hung onto him. He wasn’t going anywhere until I was sure I had control back. My muscles still quivered.
I glanced at the young girl, seeing again my friend in her face and eyes, feeling that familiar pang of loss. “So, how do you like caravan life, Marley?”
She smiled, bright and open. “I love it. I love the three kids. They’re a lot of fun. I always wanted a little brother or sister.”
“I’m surprised you’re not carrying one of them, to be honest,” I said.
There was a loud child’s laugh ahead of us and we both looked. Frost had one hand in the air and was swinging it around as Oka “bucked.” It looked like he was having the time of his life.
Marley tugged on the end of her braid. “I wanted to walk with you. If that’s okay?”
That surprised me. She always seemed more at home with Crimson or the kids.
“Well, I’m glad for your company.” We walked quietly for a few beats and it struck me how different she was from her sister. Something terrible had happened to her, but she’d been given hope when Alex rescued her. Macey never got that. She just kept getting beaten down, and beaten down, and beaten down. And the result was striking. Marley was able to maintain some of her innocence. Macey would’ve appreciated that.
“I think your sister would be proud of you,” I said, looking off in the distance.
“I hope so. I wish I’d been able to see her, for her to see me before . . . you know.” The sadness in her voice made me feel worse about the whole thing. I’d failed her.
“I’m sorry. I wish you had that too,” I said quietly, grief working its way to the surface. Oka dropped back with Frost on her back, her ears flicking to me. Mac rubbed his thumb over our joined hands. Grief was an emotion I struggled to keep from them.
If you’d embrace the magic, you could’ve saved her, the voice inside me said. Calmly. If you’d let me teach you, there would be no need for such pain.
I snorted and shook my head but managed to keep my thoughts to myself. Even death magic couldn’t have changed a zombie back to a human. Maybe a necromancer could have done it. But I was not that.
“You know, Alex was like a hero out of a story. The way he snatched me away from that big wolf who slept near me . . .” She sighed and the dreamy look in her eyes was unmistakable. I shot a look at Mac to see his shoulders shaking ever so slightly as he grinned. Yeah, it was pretty cute.
“Well, looks like Jasmine better watch out. She’s got some competition,” Mac said.
Her jaw dropped, and her face flushed bright red from the tip of her chin all the way to her hairline. “What? No. I would never. I couldn’t.”
“Marley, I think you’re pretty amazing. And when you’re all grown up, someone like Alex would be lucky to have you.” There. That was responsible, right? Because at thirteen, she was far too young. But there were worse men she could idolize as the type of man she wanted in her life.
She turned those big eyes my way and leaned into me a little. Body contact from shifters was like a hug, like giving you their safe space and trusting you with it. I carefully put an arm over her shoulders, wincing at the pull in my side wound.
A deep sigh left her, and I realized it was tension. “I like you better than her. I wish we’d found you first.” She picked a long pine needle out of her hair and tossed it to the side.
“Why do you say that?” I asked, my protective nature flaring in a flash as I glared ahead at Jasmine walking next to Alex, bumping him with her hip occasionally.
I told you to let me kill her.
Mac was right; that was why the magic could take control. Because I was thinking about killing Jasmine right there on the spot if she had so much as laid a hand on Marley.
“She’s . . . you know what? She’s fine. She just isn’t you.” The tension in Marley’s body rose but I didn’t let go of her and slowly she leaned into me again. I shot a quick look at Mac and he gave me a nod to keep going.
“What do you mean, Marley?” I gave her a little squeeze. “It’s okay. I’m not going to tell anyone. And neither will Mac.”
She looked across at Mac and he held up his free hand, three fingers raised. “Scouts honor, Marley. I’m a protector, like Pamela here.”
Her lips twisted, and I could almost see the wheels turning in her mind as she worked her words through. It took her a moment but then she spoke.
“She doesn’t like me around. She acts like I’m a pain in her ass.” Her eyes shot to mine as she swore and when I said nothing she went on. “And I get it, I’m a little sister, right? I am a pain, Macey always said so. But I was here first. Alex and I were a team first. So she can’t push me out.”
I tightened my arm around her protectively as we walked. “I will never let her push you out, Marley, and neither will Alex. I think you are family to him, you know that, right?”
She looked up at me with huge brown puppy dog eyes. “Will you be my sister? I mean, I know you aren’t my real sister, but . . .” Her eyes dropped, releasing me from their plaintive hold.
I didn’t know how to answer that. I knew I’d die for her, just like I would Frost, Ruby, Lily and even Chris’s baby.
And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud what she wanted. As sweet as she was, she wasn’t family and I wasn’t about to tell her that.
The death magic that rolled and whispered inside of me was beyond my control. I never wanted to be a danger to her, or the others. Which left me feeling like maybe I should leave, maybe Jasmine was right about that part of things. Gods, how that stuck in my belly.
I did the only thing I could. I changed the subject.
“How do you like being a wolf?” I asked.
She shrugged. “It’s okay, I guess. I like how fast I can run. And how easy it is to get food. Usually.”
I rubbed her arm. “I bet, when you get a little bigger, you’ll be the best wolf in our group. Way better than Jasmine for sure. She’s kind of a scrawny thing. You’ll be solid muscle, like Macey was.”
Her face lit up and a smile tripped along her lips. “You think so?”
“Of course. Why not? You’re a natural. You’ll be running your own pack before you know it.” I winked and she giggled at the possibility.
“I don’t want to run my own pack,” she said. “I want to stay here. With the other kids, with Alex and you and Mac and Oka.” There was a pause and I felt her shift under my arm, straightening her spine. “I will be better than Jasmine one day. Not worthless.”
Marley took a step as if to leave my arm and I stopped her.
Her words rang in my ears like a bel
l. “Hang on. Is that what Jasmine said to you? Did she call you worthless?”
Mac gave a low growl and Marley shot a look at him and then to me.
She nodded and looked down at the end of her braid.
“Does Alex know that?” I asked.
She shook her head. “If I told him, she’d just say I was lying anyway. She’s a really good liar, you know.”
Damn it. She was smart for her age, and already knew Jasmine’s game well. I frowned and knelt in front of her.
“I want you to tell Alex what an amazing wolf you’re going to be when you grow up.”
“All right, I will,” she said excitedly as she trotted off, stripped out of her clothes and shifted midstride. She was a beautiful brindle wolf, and I knew she’d grow into quite a beauty, if Jasmine didn’t try to get rid of her first. I scooped up Marley’s clothes as we passed them by.
“Alex needs to evict Jasmine,” Mac said.
“Will you head up there, make sure Marley is okay?” I asked him.
“You good?” He tipped his head and carefully unlaced our fingers. I nodded, not sure, but I had to let go of him at some point.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
He let his hands slide from mine and I held my breath, but the magic was quiet. Mac strode forward, and I let myself hang back even more. I needed space. I needed to breathe.
The female troll slapped me across the face. “Useless, worthless piece of garbage, aren’t you? Dirty little witch?”
I hung from the straps screwed into the walls of my bedroom, waiting to be purchased. I was useless, worthless, all the things my captor, my guardian said of me. Weak. My head snapped up, fire in my belly burning so hot. “I am not weak.”
“You are. You can’t even break the ties that hold your magic back.”
The scream that erupted out of me was nothing but a guttural howl that I couldn’t contain, that was mere animal.
Dirty. Worthless. Weak. Useless.
The memory roared over me. Lost somewhere in my past, Marley’s words triggering it.
And someone had spoken to Marley like that. Not just someone: Jasmine.