HOT as F*CK

by Scott Hildreth

Your will, not mine, Lord.

  But we both know who that bullet was meant for.

  He lived through that hell hole trying to make this world a better place, don’t take him now.

  I’m begging you.

  “Open those eyes for me, Todelli,” I said as I slapped his face again lightly. “Talk to me.”

  He opened his eyes and grinned. “We’re…you and me…we’re…”

  I could hear the blood in his lungs. We needed a medevac, and we needed it immediately.

  “Hold on Sergeant Todelli. Medevac’s en route,” I lied.

  He opened his eyes.

  “Hear that chopper, Brother?” I asked. “Corpsman’s on his way.”

  He opened his eyes fixed them on mine. There was no doubt in my mind he wasn’t going to live much longer.

  “You and me,” he said. “We’re even.”

  Obviously, he felt I saved his life the day I laid in the street and shot the three snipers. But I wasn’t ready to lose one of the Marines I almost died saving.

  Not in that parking lot.

  And not by the hand of the piece of human shit I chose to let live.

  As the ambulance came screeching around the corner, I carried my Marine to the street.

  “Gunshot wound to the chest, his lung is collapsed,” I said.

  I glanced at my watch. “Fourteen minutes.”

  They strapped him to a gurney and began to attempt to prevent his lung from collapsing completely. As they began to load him in the back of the ambulance, I pulled myself inside.

  “Sorry, you can’t…”

  “There isn’t one of you that’s going to stop me,” I said. “Now get my Marine to the hospital.”

  As the ambulance sped away, I lowered my head and prayed.

  Only you know what lies before him, Lord. If his life has meaning, and his soul has purpose, and I do believe it does, I ask that you spare his life.

  And, if you must, take another of this earth, but not this man.

  Not now.

  Amen.

  Chapter Two Hundred Seventy-Five

  Early Summer 2015, Austin, Texas, USA

  I kneeled at the edge of the hospital bed and held his hand in mine as Katie’s hand rested against my shoulder. Cambio Todelli was in a coma, and there was no consensus on his potential recovery. According to the doctors, he may come out of it, and he may stay in it forever.

  I had no idea of what to expect, and left the outcome in the hands of God. Mentally, spiritually, and physically, I attempted to release myself from the feeling of responsibility to keep him alive, realizing my health and sanity was far more important than anything.

  As Otis, Slice, and Ripp walked into the room I stood and turned to face them. “We’re going down to get something to eat.”

  “Hell, I’ll go with ya,” Ripp said.

  “I’m going to stay up here. His girl is supposed to be here pretty quick,” Otis said.

  “Mine’s coming with her,” Slice said. “I’ll wait up here ‘till they get here anyway, then I’ll be down.”

  Ripp had followed the shooter in a high speed chase down the highway for several miles. While a traffic jam slowed the vehicles to a halt, he dumped his bike, ran to the car, and pulled the guy through the window.

  One of the stopped motorists called police, and when the police arrived, Ripp was still beating on the guy.

  I walked to Ripp’s, patted him on the shoulder, and nodded my head toward Otis and Axton. “We’ll be back up as soon as we’re done. If you’re not down first.”

  “See ya in a bit,” Otis said with a nod of his head.

  Axton nodded his head toward us and slapped his hand against my back as we passed.

  We silently walked to the elevator, got inside, and independently stared at the closed elevator doors as we rode to the first floor. I was truly blessed to have Katie in my life, and seriously doubted I would have had the state of mind or the spirit to accept Toad’s condition as God’s will if it had not been for her.

  The elevator doors opened and as we stepped from the elevator, Katie gasped.

  “What?” I asked.

  She grinned and shook her head. “Did you see that?”

  “See what?” I asked.

  “The light. When we were getting out,” she said as she peered over her shoulder toward the elevator.

  I shook my head and glanced toward Ripp.

  “Come on,” he said. “Dekk’s in there with Austin.”

  “What happened?” I asked as I turned toward Katie, confused as to what had startled her.

  “The elevator light, it flickered,” she said.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Fluorescent lights do that sometimes. Probably a bad ballast.”

  She grinned, grabbed my hand, and proceeded to skip down the hallway toward Ripp.

  “Well,” she said as she tugged against my arm. “I said a prayer on the elevator. And I asked for a sign. God answered me. So, he’s going to be just fine.”

  “I don’t think it’s that easy,” I said.

  “I do,” she responded.

  As we walked to the cafeteria hand-in-hand, I hoped she was right. After getting a plate of fruit and a few muffins, we sat down at the table with Austin and Ripp.

  “So, any changes?” Austin asked.

  I shook my head. “Not yet.”

  “Made a few calls.” Dekk said. “Seeing if we can get a specialist in here.”

  “Appreciate it,” I said with a nod as I reached for a banana.

  “He’s going to be fine, I’m sure of it,” Katie said.

  “You shouldn’t say stuff like that,” Austin said. “You never know. It’s not good to get your hopes up.”

  “Shut up, Austin. What the fuck do you know?” Ripp growled.

  “Why do you say he’s gonna be fine, Bug?” Ripp asked.

  “I said a prayer, and God gave me a sign,” she said cheerily.

  “Can’t argue with that,” Ripp said as he glared at Austin.

  “I’m not going argue God with you,” Austin said, waving his hand toward Ripp as he spoke.

  “Not a believer?” I asked.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t really know.”

  I glanced toward the entrance of the cafeteria as Otis, Slice and who I assumed was Slice’s girlfriend walked into the cafeteria. I turned to face Austin again.

  “I’m not going to argue God, either. And I’m damned sure not going condemn you. But let me ask you this. Why not?” I asked.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Never really had a reason to believe.”

  I nodded my head. For me, it wasn’t a difficult thing to believe. All I had to do was look around me. For others, however, it wasn’t always that easy. I said a quick prayer for Austin as Slice, Otis and the girl with them sat at the adjacent table.

  Axton cleared his throat, placed his hand on the woman’s shoulder, and stood from his seat.

  “Fellas, this is my Ol’ Lady, Avery. Avery, this is Toad’s friend and former Marine commander, A-Train. And the one on his right is Ripp, the man who ran down Toad’s shooter and damned near beat him to death, and the one on the left is Shane Dekkar. Ripp’s sister, Katie, and the other fella is Austin. How’d I do?”

  I nodded my head. “Perfect.”

  He grinned a shallow grin as he lowered himself into his seat.

  “Nice to meet all of you,” Avery said.

  “He’s awake! He’s awake!” Someone shouted from the cafeteria entrance.

  I spun in my chair toward the screaming. As everyone jumped from their seats, I followed, not knowing for sure who it was who was doing all of the screaming.

  “Come on!” Otis shouted as the woman turned away and ran toward the door.

  As we all ran for the exit, I glanced toward Austin.

  Reason enough?

  Chapter Two Hundred Seventy-Six

  Early Summer 2015, Austin, Texas, USA

  It wasn’t surprising that a broken collarbone and punc
tured lung didn’t keep Toad down for long. After his continuous demands to be released from the hospital, they complied, and he stayed in my home for the remainder of his recovery. I found his stay to be a pleasant change for me. I had been living alone for several years, and although I constantly found myself looking forward to the day that Katie and I lived together, actually sharing my mornings and evenings with someone was nice.

  Two weeks after his release from the hospital, he went back to Kansas. Seeing him in a healthy relationship provided reassurance that a full recovery from the war was not only probable, but quite possible.

  “I know I don’t have to, I want to,” I said. “It’s something I think needs to be done.”

  “Tell you what,” she said. “I’ll make a trade with you. I’ll agree to it as long as we get to eat some of those peaches when we get done.”

  I glanced toward the kitchen counter. I found it surprising that she noticed I had purchased them.

  “Deal,” I said.

  “Okay,” she responded as she walked into the living room and sat down.

  My new home was an open floor plan with a kitchen that faced the front of the house. Directly behind the kitchen sink was a large island and bar, and beyond it, the large open living room that faced the back deck. The entire back wall was lined with windows, providing not only a view of the spacious back yard, but of Dekk’s pool.

  I grabbed my coffee, followed her into the living room, and sat across from her in a chair.

  “I struggle, not as bad as I used to, but I still do. You know, with everything I did, and even some things I didn’t do. My mind struggles with the men I’ve killed, and it’s weird. It’s not that I wonder if it was necessary, because it was. But there’s a part of me somewhere that isn’t completely convinced of it. So I have dreams, moments of pause, and sometimes I just sit and think about it,” I said.

  She cupped her hands around her coffee cup as she rocked back and forth lightly on the cushion of the couch. After a moment she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees.

  “But you don’t dwell on it?” she asked.

  “No, I mean, I’m fully functional. So, no. I don’t dwell on it,” I said.

  “And it’s getting better? It’s better now than it was when you came home?” she asked.

  “Much better. I used to sleep about three hours a night. Hell, when I was in Wichita, I’d get up at night and check the doors, go outside, check under the cars before I drove them. It was pretty bad,” I said.

  “But none of that now?”

  I shook my head. “None of that, no.”

  “I’m sure it just takes time,” she said.

  I inhaled slowly as I gazed down at the floor. As I shifted my eyes to meet hers, I continued. “Well, that’s not all of what I wanted to talk about. I’ve uhhm. Since the war, I’ve done some things. Things I’m not ashamed of, but I haven’t uhhm. I haven’t admitted them to anyone but God.”

  I felt the need to be truthful with her. I had not, nor would I ever lie to her, but not telling her everything about me, at least in my mind, was the same as not telling her the truth. In my opinion, for her to commit to spend a lifetime with me, she needed to know exactly who I was.

  She leaned to the side, placed her cup on the end table and folded her arms in front of her chest. “Bad things?”

  “In my mind, not so much. In most people’s eyes, I’d say so,” I said.

  “Are you going to get arrested some day?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  As she nodded her head softly, I decided to expand my response.

  “I could be, but I won’t,” I said.

  She tightened her grip on herself as if she were cold. “Are you sure?”

  I was talking in a circle, and not giving her the information I had intended to. It was all too easy for me to give minimal information and convince myself I had actually discussed – at length – whatever the subject was I intended to discuss. It was typical of the Marine in me.

  “Katie,” I said. “I’ve killed men.”

  “I know,” she said. “You had to.”

  I shook my head. “Since the war.”

  Her eyes widened slightly, and she shifted them to the side, gazing beyond me. I studied her as she stared blankly at the kitchen behind me, her eyes eventually narrowing into slits as she drifted deep into thought. After a moment, she shifted her eyes to me, inhaled a slow breath and dropped her gaze to the floor.

  “Like Ripp did? Guys like that?” she asked.

  “Worse,” I responded.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Do I need to?”

  “I guess…”

  “Let me say this,” I interrupted. “I have no idea how or why my mind works the way it does. I’m not saying I’m always right, but I sure think I am for some reason. Whether I’m an active duty Marine or not, I’m a protector. I feel like it’s my duty to protect the people on this earth from what is evil, because I am able. And, believe me, not everyone is able.”

  “Now I don’t plan on scouring the nation looking for any and everyone who is evil, but when evil threatens the ones I love, I’ll take care of it,” I said.

  She unfolded her arms, reached for her coffee, and took a drink. As she lowered her cup, her eyes followed it.

  “So you’re protecting your loved ones from harm,” she said as she shifted her eyes to meet mine.

  “Exactly,” I said.

  “I’m not agreeing with you just to agree with you,” she said. “But you know, when I think about what happened to me, and what Ripp did…”

  Her eyes dropped to the coffee cup and she hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I wish someone would have done that to him a long time ago. You know he told Ripp that he had done that before to several women, and no one would testify against him. So he just kept doing it.”

  She lifted her eyes from the cup and continued. “I mean, you’re a good guy. A great guy. I’ve lived in Texas my entire life. This state is full of vigilantes. People walk around with guns on their belts. Ripp was robbed at gunpoint a year ago, and a guy tried to take his car. We were almost robbed that night at the bar, and then that guy shot your friend, Toad. I guess I trust you.”

  It seemed all too easy. I didn’t expect her to agree with me, but having her do so was comforting. I pressed my forearms onto my knees and leaned forward.

  “Trust me to what?” I asked.

  “Make good decisions,” she said.

  “So, you’re not upset about it?”

  She shook her head. “Really? I’ve lived with Ripp my entire life. He’s beaten up guys for looking at girls cross-eyed. And Shane? Yeah, he might come off as a really mellow guy, but he’s not. When he first got here he was going out to bars and beating the crap out of guys who he thought were shitty. And I know what Ripp did to Kace’s old boyfriend. He got drunk and told us. No, I’m not upset.”

  I felt relieved, but I was still not convinced she had accepted me for who I was.

  “That night the guy tried to rob us?” I said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Well, I wished I wouldn’t have let him go,” I said.

  There. I said it.

  Her mouth twisted into a slight smirk. “Alec, we all talked about it when we drove around the block. I was sure you had killed him. So was everyone else.”

  I scrunched my brow and stared. “Really?”

  “You know,” she said. “There’s a huge difference between people like me and Vee and Kace and people like you and Ripp and Shane. We might not be able to always tell you what we want or even what we expect when it comes to things like that, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want them. Deep down inside, we want them. We just don’t want to talk about it.”

  She stood from the couch and picked up her coffee cup. “One reason, one big reason I was originally attracted to you? Because I knew you’d always protect me. And I knew you were able.”

  I followed her with
my eyes as she walked toward the kitchen. Half-way there, she glanced over her shoulder.

  “I just don’t want to hear the details,” she said.

  I stood from the chair as she poured another cup of coffee. There wasn’t a person on the entire earth who could claim to be perfect in a complete sense, but for me, Katie was as close as a person could be.

  All I could hope for was that one day I could be the same in her eyes.

  “Alec,” she said over her shoulder.

  As she realized I was walking in her direction, she continued. “We all have flaws. But as far as I’m concerned, you’re perfect.”

  And, at that instant, I realized the day I had waited for arrived.

  Chapter Two Hundred Seventy-Seven

  Summer 2015, Austin, Texas, USA

  Austin had won his first three fights, proving not only that he was a great boxer, but that I was capable of teaching him. The pride I felt in his abilities was probably similar to what a child’s father felt when his son accomplished a difficult goal.

  Shane paid to have a new gym built, and we were all enjoying the size, new equipment, and additional boxing rings. Waiting in line to be able to spar was a thing of the past, and although the old gym was still available, it was becoming more of a museum than anything.

  My life, entirely, was as in order as it had ever been. In the grand scheme of things, I exhaled, paused, and inhaled a long slow breath of appreciation.

  “You’re just going to have to get used to it. You’re a father now, and being a father is about makin’ sacrifices,” Mr. Ripton said.

  He had Jessie balanced on his knee, holding her in place with one hand and was eating a hamburger with the other.

  Ripp crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Since when do we not have chicken?”

  “Since now,” his father responded.

  Ripp turned his head to face his mother and sighed. “Seriously, we’re not going to have any chicken?”

  “Meal’s been served, Mike. Look around you,” his father said sternly. “Everyone’s about done eatin’. You been bitchin’ about it for fifteen minutes.”

  “The burgers are really good,” Kace said as she held her half-eaten burger in the air.