Take Me Home for Christmas

by Aiden Frost

AMANDA HAD INSISTED on meeting Max in town. She wasn’t ready to invite him into her house. She felt herself losing control, but this was something she could control. Amanda wanted to arrive early, to be able to get out of her car and walk around and compose herself before she saw him. She parked under a street light which was adorned with a giant red bow and a string of rainbow-colored lights. She may well have sent off a flare announcing her arrival, but parking was limited. She flipped down the visor, checking to make sure she was more put together than she felt. The flashing lights ahead of her sent a rippling wave of colors across her face, distorting any true vision of her face. She shut the visor, grabbed her purse, took a deep breath, and slid from the car. She entered the crowded sidewalk, allowing herself to be pushed along by the throngs of people.

  She happily bumped along with the crowd until she came to the front of the theatre. She didn’t expect him to be standing there. His hair was even longer than she remembered. She had an immediate urge to run her fingers through it. Her chest warmed, and she wanted to run. His back was turned to her. He was happily chatting up an older couple who was also dressed like they were attending the theatre. He turned then, as if he’d sensed her behind him. It took a moment for him to find her in the crowd, for their eyes to meet, but when they did, he smiled. He turned, politely excusing himself from the conversation going on behind him.

  He strolled up to her, his gait confident, as an unwelcome heat spread across her chest. He moved to her, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her against him. His body was warm and strong beneath his jacket. “Hey,” he said, softly. She stared at him, lost in the look of affection that filled his eyes. He leaned down, pressing his lips against hers. A warmth shot over her lips and face, moving down beneath her coat as he held her in his arms. He moved his lips from hers but kept her wrapped in his embrace. “I’m so glad you came,” he said.

  Amanda nodded, too afraid to speak.

  “These tickets aren’t in the VIP boxes, so if we’re going to be hungry... or thirsty,” he said with a wink, “within the next three hours, we should eat now. They have a cozy lounge inside if you’d like?”

  Amanda wasn’t sure what to do. She’d thought the theatre was a relatively safe bet as far as dates went. You weren’t allowed to talk in a theatre, but sitting down in a cozy lounge was different. She wasn’t ready for that. “Could we walk for a few minutes?” she asked. “I haven’t been to this town in years.”

  Max smiled, releasing her from his grasp. “Just as long as you feed me at some point,” he teased. “You don’t want to see me cranky.”

  Amanda laughed, despite herself. “The way you are at work is when you’re not cranky?”

  Max turned to her, wrapping his arm around her side as he steered them through a particularly crowded area. “You seem to handle me just fine,” he said to her.

  Amanda turned, assessing him. “Men don’t scare me,” she said.

  “Good,” he said, squeezing her tighter against him. “That mentality will get you places.”

  They weaved their way further and further along the sidewalk, leaving the bustle of the theatre behind, and entering a different crowd that immediately put Amanda at ease. While there were a lot of families wandering about—some aimlessly enjoying the Christmas cheer, while others were busy with their shopping lists—the atmosphere was laid back, inviting. Amanda laughed as a little boy plastered his nose to one of the shop windows, frantically trying to get a better view of the reindeer and elves on display inside.

  Max turned, smiling at her as he caught her amusement over watching the little boy at the window. He saw a different side of her when she was out of the office, when she let her guard down just a little bit.

  Amanda turned from the little boy. “What?” she asked Max when she saw the smile on his face.

  “I just never thought you would be someone who liked kids, that’s all.”

  Amanda shrugged, automatically moving closer to Max as they stopped before a crowded storefront. “They’re like... I don’t know, what all of us should be if we weren’t so damaged by all the bad stuff that’s happened to us through the years.”

  Max was silent, wondering what is was that Amanda felt so changed by.

  “Their innocence is beautiful,” she said. Amanda stood on her toes, trying to peer into the shop ahead. “What’s going on?” she asked the man in front of her.

  He turned to her, smiling when he caught sight of her. “The best fudge around. And on a night like tonight, the best coffee too.”

  “Ooh,” said Amanda, her eyes wide with excitement.

  Max felt a twinge of jealousy as the man continued to speak with Amanda. She was at ease, speaking with him as if he was an old friend. He wanted to wrap her into his arms, claim her as his and his alone. Max had felt jealousy a time of two over a woman over the years. A good woman was worth at least a little, but with Amanda, it felt like this ferocious burning inside of him. He wanted to drag her off down the sidewalk, to hide her away so no one else but him could ever speak to her again. When Amanda turned her smile back to him, all other thoughts melted away.

  “I want coffee and fudge,” she said. “Pleeeeaassee,” she said when he didn’t respond. She grabbed onto his sleeve, shaking his arm in her enthusiasm.

  “Okay!” he said. “If you want to spoil your dinner with fudge, I can’t stop you.”

  Amanda leaned up, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah!” she squealed with child-like excitement. As they stood there, moving slowly ahead in the line, Amanda chastised herself for her behavior. She was becoming too comfortable with him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked her after a few more moments of silence.

  She looked at him, trying to smile. She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “You’re mad at yourself,” he said.

  She turned half an eye to him, then turned back away.

  “You are,” he insisted. “But who’s here to see?” He spread his arms out to all the strangers they were surrounded by. “This isn’t even our town. The chances we see a single person we know is remote. How about just for one night you try to enjoy yourself with me?” He leaned in closer, the warm spice of his cologne engulfing her senses. He whispered, “It’ll be our little secret.”

  She couldn’t help but smile. “Okay,” she whispered back. “But I’m not having any fun until you get me some fudge.”

  THEY SAT ON THE PARK bench, sipping their coffees and nibbling way too much fudge. The lights were on in the field before them, a queue of children and adults alike, lined up for a picture with Santa in his sleigh. Amanda had to admit, it was a beautiful setup.

  “I want a picture,” Amanda said, turning to him.

  Max almost laughed, before he realized she was serious. “You want a picture with Santa in the carriage?”

  “It’s not a carriage,” she said. “It’s Santa’s sleigh. Come on, we’re already dressed up. And I haven’t checked the time, but I can imagine we’ve missed the curtain call at the theatre by at least twenty minutes.

  Max moved aside the sleeve of his coat to look at his watch. He cringed when he saw the time. “Worse than that,” he said.

  Amanda looked at him, apologetic. “I hope the tickets weren’t too expensive.”

  Max laughed. “I got them from Carter.”

  “Carter?” Amanda balked. “Carter from work? Did he know you’d ask me when he gave them to you?”

  Max smiled. “He made sure I was going to ask you.”

  Amanda blew out a puff of hot air. She shook her head, but she knew she couldn’t be mad at him.

  “I do believe,” said Max, “that the reason Carter gave me these tickets is because—”

  Amanda waved her hand at him. “I know. I meddled. But I can only hope it means Carter and his wife had their best family date ever.” Amanda smiled at him, a smug look on her face.

  Max laughed, then turned back to the line leading up to Santa and his sleigh. “You really want a picture?” he asked her.


  “Yeah,” she said, standing and shoving the bag of fudge into her purse. “I’ve been cranky enough this year. I want to go have some fun, which means right now I want to go get my picture taken with you and Santa.”

  Max stood. A picture with he, and Amanda, and Santa. Max walked behind her, dazed. She’d caught him off guard.

  “Relax,” she said, turning back and seeing the glazed look in his eyes. “I’m not planning on posting pictures of you and Santa Claus around the office.”

  He turned to her then, catching her off guard as he pulled her into his arms. “Maybe it will make me more likeable,” he said as he buried his face into her neck.

  Amanda wrapped her arms up over his shoulders, placing her hands on the back of his head. They held each other’s gaze, before Amanda stood up on her toes, bringing her lips to his.

  “You’re next,” said the woman behind them.

  Amanda turned, flustered after the kiss with Max. She reached back, and he entwined his fingers in hers as they walked together beneath the sparkling Christmas lights, and up to Santa’s sleigh.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  AMANDA HAD TO ADMIT, she was having an amazing time with Max Avery. But as they walked, hand in hand back to her car, she knew it was coming to an end. Amanda would go back to her life, and Max would go back to being the boss. And he’d go back to the life where his father was sick and his business was faltering and Amanda couldn’t imagine where there’d be any room for her.

  “I had a great night,” she said, turning to him and smiling. She reached into her purse where there was still a remaining piece of fudge. “Do you want to take home the last piece?”

  “Oh, no, please,” said Max. “I may never look at another piece of fudge again in my life.” Not only had they eaten fudge and sipped coffee in the park, but then they nibbled on fudge at the pub they’d gone to, while also eating fried foods. “I am never going out with you again without having a solid dinner in my stomach beforehand. And without a bottle of antacids in my pocket.”

  Amanda smiled, moving closer to him. He wrapped her tightly in his arms, her back pressed up against her car. “You were already thinking about going out with me again?” she asked quietly.

  Max pushed closer into her. “And again, and again, and again.”

  Amanda reached up around his neck, pulling herself closer to his face. She smiled to herself at the way the flashing Christmas lights distorted his face. But his eyes were serious. He held her gaze in his as he brought his lips tenderly to hers. He kissed her once, softly, before pulling away, gauging her reaction. Her eyes said everything he needed to hear. She needed his lips against hers. He obliged, kissing her sweet and tenderly, not allowing her to have any more, leaving her with a burning desire for him. He could see that in her eyes too.

  “Take me home with you,” said Amanda.

  Max should his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m staying at my parents’.”

  “But what about your apartment?” Amanda asked as she trailed delicate kisses across his jawline.

  He shook his head against her lips, unable to form words as she bit tenderly onto his skin.

  “Please,” begged Amanda.

  “I... sold my apart... ment.” He grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her away from him. “Stop,” he growled. “I can’t think straight when you’re doing that.”

  “That’s the point,” Amanda pouted.

  “Take me home to your house,” said Max.

  “My place?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Your place. I’ll even pretend I don’t see the rabbit hopping through your bedroom.”

  “My bedroom?”

  “Yeah,” said Max. “What’s wrong?”

  “I... I wasn’t planning on you coming back to my place.”

  “I’ve been there before,” said Max.

  “You were on my couch. I brought you back to my couch.”

  “Okay,” said Max, his eyes suddenly warm with desire, “then take me back and we’ll make love on your couch.”

  He reached down to kiss her but she pulled away. Amanda wasn’t sure what tonight would bring, but having a man tell her he wanted to make love to her, and in her house nonetheless... her mind couldn’t wrap itself around that.

  “I don’t bring men back to my house,” she said as way of an explanation.

  “But you were willing to go with me to my apartment?”

  “Yes, but my house, it’s... private.”

  “I’ve been there before. What’s the difference now?”

  “Why are you pushing me?” she asked him, defensive.

  “Why are you pulling away?” he countered.

  She glared at him. She wanted to laugh it off, tell him she was just being a silly girl and everything was okay and there was no problem going back to her house. But she knew there would be. She’d let him in, he’d break down her walls. He’d be in her private space. He would judge her. He would see her. He wanted to make love to her and she’d barely been able to psych herself up for a date. For a real date. Things were moving too fast. She wanted him, she desired him. But she knew she’d push him away.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I can’t bring you back to my house.”

  “I’m sorry too, Amanda.” Max took Amanda’s hand in his, brushing his lips against her palm. Then he stood back from her and walked away.

  Amanda watched him walk away. She watched as he maneuvered through the mostly empty streets, and she watched as he walked out of sight. Her mouth opened a thousand times to call out to him, to tell him to come home with her, but she never did. With shaking hands she unlocked her car and slid behind the wheel. Max wouldn’t understand. He had a loving father, a loving step-mother. He had a business, business associates, friends.

  Amanda? She had Amanda.

  She had her home; she had her bunny. She’d spent her entire life on display in her mother’s house—sleeping on the couch in their one-bedroom apartment as her mother’s myriad of boyfriends came and went. She held tight to her privacy, and she refused to be abandoned again. She’d let Max Avery break away at her tightly wrapped exterior, but she would not let him break through.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  AMANDA WOKE TO HER alarm. Her face was warm and held an odd tingling sensation. She rubbed her hand across her nose as it tickled, realizing then that her face was plastered to the side of her bunny’s soft fur. She sat up, woozy. Her eyes felt puffy, and she wondered for a moment if she’d been crying during the night. She moved herself carefully around Bunny, before finding her footing on the ground. She stumbled toward her bathroom, catching herself on the bathroom sink. She ran the water, waiting for a drink of water to loosen the knot she felt at the back of her throat. Her eyes caught her reflection as she waited.

  “What happened to you?” she asked as she scrutinized herself in the mirror. Amanda still wore her makeup, although, from the look of it smeared across her face, her pillow was wearing more makeup than what still remained on her face. She looked down at herself then. Although she’d removed her dress pants, the top half of her was still in the attire she’d gone out in last night. She patted her chest. She’d removed her bra too. She knew she’d been upset, she knew she’d allowed herself to cry in the car, but... “Shame on you,” she said to the reflection in the mirror.

  The water was still running in the sink. She shut off the faucet, then drank long and slow out of her cup. The cold water filled her throat, soothing the rawness she felt inside.

  She worked her way out of her sweater, out of her tank-top beneath, and out of last night’s jewelry. She turned on the shower, careful to not catch her reflection again as she waited for the water to run hot. She stepped under the scalding stream, allowing the heat to rush over her body, and burn away last night’s shame.

  After a long, hot shower, Amanda stepped out of the tub. She looked at herself now. Her skin burned bright red from the heat. “Get it together,” she told the reflection in the m
irror. “He’s just another man. He’s no different than any other man.” Amanda couldn’t look at herself any longer. She moved from the bathroom, allowing the cool air of the house to chill her naked skin.

  She needed to hurry if she was going to make it to work on time. She wasn’t sure if it even mattered, she assumed Max would be out of the office again today, but she wasn’t about to start letting a man effect her life.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  “JELLY BEAN!” CALLED Carter as he caught sight of Amanda.

  Amanda turned toward him, doing her best to smile a genuine smile.

  “We did it,” said Carter. “Well, you did it. But I took some credit.”

  Carter was ecstatic and Amanda could feel his happiness roll onto her.

  “Your wife loved it then?”

  “And the kids,” said Carter. “My kids actually said they had fun. Can you imagine that?”

  Amanda couldn’t help it, she chuckled at the thought. “I’m so glad,” she said.

  Carter moved closer to her, his voice low. “Did you have a date last night too?”

  Amanda wondered how Carter might have known, but then she remembered he’d been the one to give Max the theatre tickets.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” said Amanda.

  “You don’t like the theatre?” Carter asked her.

  “I do,” she said, “but we didn’t end up at the theatre.”

  “Oooh,” said Carter. He turned and followed behind her as she took off down the hall. “Tell me.”

  Amanda turned suddenly, stopping Carter in his tracks. “It’s not what you think,” she said quietly. Then, “Did you know Max sold his apartment?”

  Carter shrugged. “I knew Shandra was on the phone with Regions Realty the other day, but...”

  “He said he sold it. Why would he sell it?”

  “I don’t know,” he said. “But I bet Shandra knows.”

  Amanda turned, walking away from him.

  “Wait!” he hollered. “Am I getting little Amanda babies soon or not?”