‘I’m not telling them anything. I don’t have to explain things to them and I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you.’ Hugh dragged in a breath and told himself to calm down, to try and see things from the irrational side. ‘I told you there is nothing going on between Gina and I.’
‘So what happened at the emergency do?’ Emily pushed.
Hugh just stood there. Yes, he could explain his way out of it but was that how it would be?
Explaining himself every five minutes?
‘I thought more of you than that, Em. I thought more of us than that.’
‘There never was us!’ Emily said, and then she couldn’t stand to see the hurt in his usually smiling eyes so she zipped her bag closed. ‘I’m going.’
‘You can have this room. I’ll book another.’
‘I said I’m going.’
‘Maybe check into somewhere else...’
‘I’m not your problem, Hugh.’
He gave in then and nodded. ‘Will you at least text me when you’re home?’
‘Sure.’
It was a long, lonely drive back, going over an entirely manufactured row, but at least she had space now and time to think about what she was going to do.
Home, Emily texted just after dawn.
Thanks, came his rapid but brief reply.
Way to go, Emily.
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘I’M FINE.’ GINA came out of the bathroom and sat on the bed and put her head in her hands as Hugh opened the curtains to the morning.
‘You are so far from fine it’s not funny.’
‘Hugh, I just had too much to drink.’
‘Bull!’ Hugh was struggling to hold onto his temper. ‘I’ve been through your case and you had a whole lot more than alcohol on board.’
Round in circles they went, Gina denying it, Hugh growing angrier by the minute, though trying to stay calm.
‘I can get you into somewhere today.’
‘I don’t need to go anywhere,’ Gina said.
‘Gina, talk to me,’ Hugh begged. ‘I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.’ It was his sister all over again and Hugh was actually petrified for her.
‘I don’t need your help,’ Gina said. ‘I’m going to get dressed for breakfast...’ She pulled her clothes out of her case and her toiletry bag too, and Hugh sat there as she went to the bathroom and then after a few minutes later of frantic searching came out.
‘You bastard.’
‘Yep.’ Hugh stood. ‘I’m going to go and pack and then I’ll drive you home.’
‘What about Emily?’
Hugh said nothing and headed out and walked straight into Lydia, who had a mouth like the Mersey Tunnel.
Great.
Worse, though, was the disappointment in Alex’s eyes as Hugh checked out, with Gina sitting in the foyer, waiting for him.
York, here I come, thought Hugh as they waited for the car to be brought around.
Gina slept most of the way and Hugh just drove, his mind in about twenty places.
Yes, maybe Emily deserved an explanation but she’d not even given him a chance.
He was in two minds whether to go round there once he’d dropped Gina home and explain, as best he could, what had happened before the rumour mill set to work.
Maybe he should but he had been up since five a.m. yesterday and knew he probably wouldn’t deliver the best of speeches.
He was still cross with her.
‘Will you think about what I’ve said?’ Hugh asked Gina as they pulled up at her house.
‘Just leave it, Hugh,’ Gina said, slamming the boot closed and marching angrily down her path.
He couldn’t, though.
* * *
Emily had a new friend.
Hypochondria.
She had got home and fallen asleep straight away, awaking hours later to the sound of her doorbell and a horrible wave of nausea.
It was Hugh, Emily was sure, but there was no way she was letting him see her like this.
Instead, she hunched over the toilet. Nausea she was starting to get used to but there was also a pain in her stomach.
Stress, Emily said.
It could be an ectopic pregnancy, Hypochondria said.
Er, no, it was in the centre of her stomach.
Appendix, Hypochondria offered, because it can start there and then shift to the right.
Emily ignored the doorbell and went back to bed.
* * *
When you were involved with someone you worked with and it broke up, especially as spectacularly as Saturday night, it spread like wildfire.
No one could meet Emily’s eyes when she started her shift the next morning and every time she walked into a room or approached a huddle, it either fell silent or they started discussing the weather.
Emily truly could not care less. There were other things to worry about.
Like her ectopic pregnancy.
It was really starting to hurt and maybe she ought to go and speak to Lydia and get herself seen, or go home and see her own GP.
Candy, one of the nurses was pulling some antibiotics up for a patient and checking it with Emily. Candy was sweet and embarrassed and started rambling on about the lovely long summer that they were having.
‘I need a hand!’ Raymond, the porter, called, and hearing the urgency in his voice Candy nodded to Emily.
‘Go.’
Emily raced out to the foyer.
‘My wife’s bleeding...’ a young, very stressed man was shouting, and Emily pulled some gloves from her pocket and went to the car as Raymond came over with a trolley. ‘She’s pregnant...’
She was very pregnant and also losing a lot of blood.
‘What’s her name?’ Emily asked.
‘Sasha.’
‘How far along is she?’
‘Thirty-eight weeks.’
‘Okay...’
Sometimes patients didn’t get as far as Maternity, and with the amount of blood Sasha was losing it was an emergency.
Candy was fantastic and even as they were wheeling her in she paged the obstetrician.
‘Anton is on his way down.’
‘He might want to do a Caesarean here,’ Lydia said, rushing in and starting to bring over some theatre packs. ‘Emily, go and get the blood warmer.’
Emily retrieved it from the storeroom and met Anton on the way back. ‘Why the hell did the paramedics bring her here?’ Anton barked as they ran.
‘Her husband brought her in.’
All animosity stopped the second he was beside the patient and he could not have been more lovely to her.
‘I am going to look after you and your baby,’ he said as he examined her. It looked as if they might do an emergency Caesarean here in Emergency but with Sasha on her left side and oxygen on, the baby seemed to be settling and Anton made his call. ‘Let’s get her straight up to Theatre. Let them know and page the anaesthetist and blood bank for me.’
‘Who’s the anaesthetist?’ Lydia called.
‘Gina,’ someone responded, but Anton refuted that.
‘She’s off this morning. Just page the first on,’ he snapped in his less-than-charming way.
They set up the trolley very quickly and Emily did her best to ignore the nausea that would not abate.
She actually felt terrible and as they raced upstairs she did her best to ignore the pain in her stomach, but as soon as Sasha had been safely handed over Emily decided that she was going to sign herself off duty and go home.
‘You’re in the right place,’ Emily said to Sasha. ‘You’re going to be very well looked after here.’
‘I’m so scared...’
‘Of course you are,’ Emily said, as Rory came in and started setting up. He was her favourite anaesthetist and though she could leave now, Emily chose not to. Instead, she helped Rory as Miriam gave grateful thanks and headed into the theatre to help prepare for the delivery.
Maybe Miriam was right because it was all a lot more seamless for Sasha—she had the same nurse helping her from the moment she had hit A and E till the moment her body shuddered as she went under and Miriam had been freed up to get things ready for the baby, who would be born minutes from now.
Emily should really head back down and tell them that she was going home but the birth was imminent and it felt nice to be back in Theatre. Even in an emergency it was all so controlled and Emily stood, looking through the glass window, as Anton came in and was helped into his gown.
He gloved up and Emily watched as Sasha’s stomach was swabbed and Anton rapidly set to work.
There was so much that could go wrong, Emily thought, terrified to be at the beginning of this journey.
There were just so, so many things that could go wrong.
But sometimes, even at the direst of times, everything went right.
The baby was kicking and screaming even as it was handed over to Louise and still Emily stood, looking through the glass, watching as the baby was given the once-over by the paediatrician and then Louise wheeled her out to where Emily stood.
‘Isn’t she gorgeous?’ Louise said, as she wrapped the baby, chatting away. ‘I am going to take you out to your daddy very soon!’
‘Anton got her out quickly.’
‘He’s brilliant,’ Louise said, then rolled her eyes. ‘But I swear he’s the most arrogant person to work with.’
‘You’ve changed your tune.’
‘Oh, yes,’ Louise said, and then looked at Emily. ‘Are you okay?’
‘You’ve heard, then.’
‘Everyone’s heard. God, we all know Hugh fools around, I just never thought he would on you. If it’s any consolation, Alex Hadfield’s furious with him,’ Louise said. ‘I mean, he’s seriously angry. Hugh is snapping at everyone. Gina’s off sick again, which is possibly wise as I don’t think she’s anyone’s favourite person today.’
‘I maybe overreacted. I should maybe have—’
‘Emily,’ Louise interrupted, ‘you weren’t overreacting. Hugh was seen coming out of her hotel room in the morning.’
And in that moment Emily knew just how much she loved him.
She knew because she didn’t panic, or think, lying bastard. Instead, her very first thought, her absolute first thought was that there was something wrong with Gina.
He had her love and he had her trust, which was terrifying in itself, but it was the scariest thing in the world to know that she had blown it.
‘Are you okay, Emily?’ Louise frowned as they walked out with the teeny new life. ‘You look awful.’ Then she smiled. ‘Stupid question, given the weekend you had...’ Her voice trailed off as Hugh came out of the staffroom.
Emily would never forget the look he gave her—hurt, disappointed, angry—and she knew that she deserved all three.
He came straight over and Louise left them to it.
‘I don’t know what time I’ll finish here but I’m going to come over tonight and try and address some rumours that are flying around.’
‘There’s no need.’
‘Oh, don’t try and fob me off,’ Hugh said. ‘I shall be coming around but don’t worry, Emily, it’s only to talk. No need to pretend you’re tired or have got a headache. We’re done.’ He gave a shallow, mirthless laugh. ‘Well, we never were on, were we? I’ll text you when I’m leaving here.’
Her stomach was hurting and her head was all confused and as Emily walked down the corridor those last thirty steps to Emergency looked a very long way off.
‘Emily?’ It was Raymond who caught her.
‘I don’t want to be seen here,’ Emily said, as she was wheeled into Emergency.
And then she simply didn’t care any more. Her stomach hurt so much and there was no relief from being sick.
‘It’s okay...’ Sarah, the registrar, had been called, and she was very, very kind and gentle as Emily kept crying in her confusion.
‘I’m pregnant,’ Emily explained, ‘about four weeks.’ Then she remembered that you added two weeks. ‘Six weeks,’ Emily amended, and started to cry. ‘It’s ectopic, isn’t it?’
‘Emily, just lie still and let me examine you.’
It was the most horrible day of her life but Hugh wasn’t having much fun either.
He was just checking on a patient in Recovery and his head was pounding.
It had been one helluva weekend, followed by a black Monday.
He’d finally done it.
In writing this time he had put his misgivings about Gina yet there was no sense of relief at doing the right thing whatsoever.
He got a glimmer of that relief, though, just a few minutes later.
‘Hugh.’ Alex was grim. ‘I need to speak to you.’
‘Can we discuss the disaster of my weekend well away from this lot?’ Hugh said, loudly enough for all the wagging ears to shuffle off.
‘It’s not about that.’ Alex pulled him aside. ‘I’m heading down to A and E and you are not to join me or follow me down.’ Hugh frowned as Alex spoke on. ‘I’ve got a twenty-six-year-old acute abdomen, query ectopic, query appendicitis.’ There weren’t many other ways to break it and he’d be hearing it on the grapevine soon, Alex knew. Hugh was already sweating before he had said the name. ‘It’s Emily.’
‘Is she definitely pregnant?’
‘I’ll know more soon. You’re to stay here.’
Fat chance of that, Alex thought as he made his way down.
‘Emily!’ Alex gave her his most professional smile.
It didn’t work.
‘It’s okay,’ Alex said, looking at her bloodwork.
‘It’s not,’ Emily said, because it would never be okay. ‘I’ll never be able to look at you again,’ Emily said a little while later, with his finger up her bum.
Then Alex rolled her over and gave her a smile. ‘You’re looking at me now.’
‘Hardly.’
He did a very gentle PV exam and felt her tubes and uterus.
‘It looks like appendicitis,’ he said. ‘I’m going to do a quick ultrasound.’
‘What about the baby?’
‘The baby is very protected and,’ he said, ‘we’ll take very good care, but the last thing we want is your appendix to perforate.’ He asked her another question, only this time it wasn’t as a doctor. ‘Had you told Hugh?’
Emily shook her head. ‘I was trying to work out how to.’ Then she frowned. ‘Does he know?’
‘I told him what little I knew because I didn’t want him hearing it from someone else. I’ve told him to wait up in Theatre.’ He gave a thin smile at the sound of Hugh’s footsteps.
‘I don’t think Hugh followed my explicit orders!’ Alex said to Emily, but for Hugh’s benefit too.
‘I don’t want to see him.’
‘Tough,’ came a voice from the other side of the curtain.
‘So much for patient privacy,’ Emily called back.
‘I’ll get rid of him for you,’ Alex said, but Emily shook her head.
‘It’s fine. I might as well get it over with.’ She gave a thin smile as he stepped into the cubicle. ‘At least I’ll be unconscious soon.’
Alex ignored Hugh when he came in and spoke to Emily instead. ‘I’ll get you some analgesia and we’ll give you some more IV fluids and then we’ll get you up to Theatre.’ He went through the consent and asked about next of kin.
‘I rang my dad but he wasn’t there. I’ve left a message. I don’t think he�
�ll come, but if he does, can we not tell him about the pregnancy if at all possible?’
She glanced at Hugh, who met her stare but said nothing.
‘What about your mum?’ Alex said, and Emily gave a weary nod.
‘I’ll call her.’
Finally Alex left them to it. Hugh went outside as Emily called her mum but was sent straight to voicemail again.
‘I’ve left a message for her,’ Emily said.
‘Do you want me to have your phone?’ Hugh offered. ‘They’ll be worried when they get the message.’
Emily handed it over to him.
‘How long have you known?’ Hugh said.
‘Friday night,’ Emily said. ‘Well, I’d been worried for a week or so before that.’
‘And you didn’t think to tell me?’
‘Of course I thought about telling you,’ Emily snapped, and then she was quiet as Lydia came and gave her IV pain control.
Hugh watched as her pupils went to pinpoints and he put on some nasal prongs as Emily, thanks to some decent pain control, lost her control and told him exactly what she’d been thinking!
‘On Friday evening I decided on an abortion; on Friday night I thought I might ring you. On Saturday I had this strange vision of us pushing a baby on a swing, but I had this vision of joint access, and then I decided to just tell you at the wedding, then I decided to move to Scotland and have it and never tell you...’
‘Okay, Em,’ Hugh said, ‘I’m not cross with you for not telling me. I get you were working it out.’
‘Are you cross with me, though?’ Emily asked, with her own eyes crossed as she tried to focus on him. God, he looked fantastic, he looked amazing. ‘Do you think I tried to trap you?’
‘Grow up,’ Hugh said, but not unkindly. ‘Actually, I’m the one who needs to grow up. It does take two.’
‘Yeah.’
She wasn’t worried about that now. His eyes were the nicest shade of green in the world.
‘I’ll probably lose it now anyway,’ Emily said.
‘Probably not,’ came Anton’s voice, and then Emily knew she really must be pregnant because for once Anton wasn’t scowling. In fact, he gave her a nice smile.
‘I was just speaking with Alex about your surgery. I’ll come and see you afterwards. Do you have any questions?’
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