Hard Rocked (BBW Rockstar Romance)

by Bayard, Clara

  “Um, sure. That would be nice.”

  “We can invite Mia too, if you want. Or just us.”

  “Okay. Let’s do that. We’ve got two free days in Paris next week.”

  “Perfect. We can eat croissants and scowl at all the skinny French bitches.”

  I laughed. “That does sound fun.”

  “Good. I can’t wait. Ditch our boys for some girl time.”

  The smile faded from my face. The “our” suggested we each had a boy. Did she know Dex and I had kissed? Or was my reluctant crush on him just that obvious?

  Not wanting to really know the answers to those questions I excused myself and went back to the green room where the opening act was hanging out. They didn’t have their own tour staff so I helped restock the food and located a bag they’d misplaced.

  But even as I worked, Dex’s voice was all around me. For real, as he backed up Joe’s vocals, and in my head, the way he said my name and the low husky whisper he used right before the kiss.

  After the show things were hectic again. Coordinating the breakdown of sets and making sure everything got into the equipment vans. And someone misplaced the cash box from the merchandise table. Then shooing away the last fans as the meet-and-greet went well over schedule.

  Finally we all piled onto the bus and headed back to the hotel. I knew some invited guests and more attractive fans would be joining the group at the hotel bar, but I had no interest in that. I needed more sleep and time away from Dex.

  When we got back to the hotel I say goodnight and headed up to my room. I shared an elevator with Joe and Liss, who didn’t even bother trying to keep their hands and lips to themselves. Being trapped in the tiny space made it impossible to ignore them and brought back all of the unwanted arousal I’d felt earlier. When we made it to our floor I practically sprinted down the hallway away from them.

  I dumped my stuff and was pulling on my pajamas when there was a knock at my door. I snuck a glance through the peephole and gasped. It was Dex.

  Squaring my shoulders off for a fight, I opened the door. “What are you doing here?”

  “I need to speak with you.”

  I bit back the angry retort when I saw the look on his face. It was pain, tinged with helplessness. “What’s wrong?”

  He cast a glance down the hallway. “I don’t want to say out here.”

  Ordinarily I might have thought it was a ploy to get in my room, but I could tell he was really suffering so I stepped aside and let him in.

  Dex strode over to the window and looked out on the dark city below. “I got a message when I returned to my room.”

  “Yes?” I walked up behind him close enough to touch him.

  “My father, he’s in Bristol. Had practically been adopted by my mother’s family after she died. I called a few days ago to tell him I was here. We’re,” his voice cracked. “We’re not close, never have been. He’s a right bastard with a violent mean-streak but he’s my father. I never heard back and I was kind of relieved. I’d done my part, yeah?” He stopped speaking and raked his hands through his hair a few times, leaving it a tangled ebony mess.

  “What happened?” I asked softly, putting my hand on his shoulder. The contact seemed to startle and then settle him.

  “No one is exactly sure. He’d been drinking too much and got kicked out of his local. Someone found him hours later on the side of the road, unconscious. At first they thought he’d been hit by a car but there were bruises and someone else’s blood on him. A fight. Who knows.”

  I squeezed his shoulder. “Is he…”

  “No. He’s alive. In a bad way, though, apparently.”

  “Are you going to go see him?”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know.” He looked at me, eyes glistening. “Should I?”

  I shook my head. “I can’t answer that for you.”

  “But I don’t know what to do.”

  “Sleep on it. You’re still in shock right now, Dex.”

  “Sleep? Yeah, I guess…”

  My heart broke seeing the anguish in his eyes. “Why don’t we sit down and talk for a while. About this or anything you want.”

  He nodded miserably and let me pull him over to the bed. I’d imagined performing this maneuver a few times, but never under such sad circumstances.

  “Tell me more about your family. Talking helps sometimes.”

  Dex rested his elbows on his knees and set his chin on his hands, still staring out the window as if the answers he sought could be found out there.

  “You probably know some of this. He was in the Army and dragged us all over the world. That’s all in my bio. But what it doesn’t say is the reason was he constantly got booted from one base to the next. Fighting, carousing, whatever. The same shit everyone did but worse. Always worse. He never knew when to stop. The same went for inside the house. He’d scream and terrorize us. Never physically abusive, but the emotional stuff is worse in some ways.

  “I counted down the days until I could get the hell away from him. But when my mum died I couldn’t wait any longer so I ran away. He caught me three days later and locked me in a bathroom for almost a week while he made the arrangements to come back to the States. I didn’t know anyone or have anywhere to go there.

  “So I just bided my time and made connections, discovered music. I hung in there until my eighteenth birthday and left, never looking back. For a long time I didn’t care where he was or what he was doing. But then a few years later I heard from some relatives that he’d come back here. Back to her family. Sober and trying to atone for his sins, he joined the family and they welcomed him.” Bitterness filled his words.

  “As the years went by he’d try to contact me. And then when we started getting attention I was easier to find. He apologized for being a shit dad and all that. But I didn’t need him or want him in my life, so I blew him off. Until even that was too much work. Lately I’ve just been polite, you know? Just going through the motions but keeping my distance. But now this. What am I supposed to do with this?”

  I wrapped my fingers around his arm. “You’ll figure it out. You’ll know the right thing to do. But for now, try to calm down. Think of something else.”

  “Like what?”

  “Anything. A song, a movie, a cocktail. Anything to distract you for a few hours.”

  “You distract me,” he whispered.

  “Nah, I’m too boring.”

  “Not to me.” There was no playfulness in his words, just honesty.

  “That’s sweet. And I know people always say this, but I really do understand what you’re going through.”

  “You do? How?”

  I cleared my throat. “My mother died when I was a little kid. Dad raised me as best he could, but it wasn’t a typical childhood.”

  “Why not?”

  “He was in the business. Performing at first and them producing. He’d bring me to the studio after school and expect me to do my homework while he worked and partied. He might as well have taken me to a combination drug-den and brothel.”

  “Not a great place for a little girl.”

  “Nope.”

  “Wow. I had no idea. Wait, Becca Hall. Your father is Daniel Hall from The Dollars?”

  I nodded.

  “He’s really talented. A great musician and an even better producer.”

  “I know. And he gave me a love of music, but not much else.”

  “What’s he doing now?”

  “Nothing. He had a stroke two years ago.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you. But I’m telling you this so you see I do get what you’re going through. No matter how complicated the relationship, with only one parent left you have to find a way to make peace with who they are. While you still can.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  “Of course. I tried to ignore the problems and took care of him. Even as an invalid he’s no angel. And I couldn’t erase the hurt just because I wanted to. But he’s all I have.”


  Dex nodded and rested his head on my shoulder. “Now I understand.”

  “Understand what?”

  “The other reason I’m so drawn to you. We’re kindred spirits, Becca.”

  “We might just be, Dex.”

  “So different and so alike. Maybe we’re meant for each other.”

  “I don’t believe in that crap,” I told him. “But it is nice to meet someone who gets my messed up life a bit.”

  “Yeah.” He was quiet for a while before speaking again. “Don’t you want to know the other reason?”

  “Other reason what?”

  “Why I’m drawn to you.”

  “I’m not sure I do.”

  He chuckled a little. “Come on, I know you do.”

  “Fine. Tell me.”

  Dex sat up straight and looked into my eyes. “Because you’re amazing. From head-to-toe, inside and out.”

  “You’re insane.”

  “Maybe.”

  Our gazes locked and a wave of emotion rushed through me. “Dex, I…”

  “I’m not asking you for anything. I’m not trying to touch you. I just want to be near you, okay?”

  “Okay. Look, if you promise to behave, stay here tonight. We can talk or watch a movie or order a ton of room service.”

  “Like friends.”

  “Exactly.”

  “All right.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “Thank you, Becca.”

  “Anytime.”

  Chapter Seven

  We did watch a movie. Or, rather, I should say we turned on a movie and it played on the television. I didn’t remember a thing about it later and I doubt Dex did either.

  I thought about what he’d said. Put himself out there honestly but without pushing. He came to me in a moment of raw need and emotion, full of trust. That was a lot for someone he’d only known a few days. Maybe we really were kindred spirits.

  And there, next to him, I realized it was more than just his looks that attracted me beyond all reason from the first time we met. I’d known he was good-looking before. But being in the same room with him had hit me like a wrecking ball and knocked me hard.

  If I could tell him about my family, and learn about his, how I could I deny the other truth. That I’d come alive when he kissed me. And felt like I was coming home.

  But for all the deep truths we had shared, those words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. So I did the only other thing I could think of to communicate them. I kissed him.

  Tentative at first, I leaned in and planted a light peck on the side of his mouth, enjoying the tickle of his stubble and the look of surprise on his face.

  “What was that for?”

  “Just…I don’t know.”

  “Should I yell at you now for crossing a line?” He grinned.

  “Maybe.”

  “If I promise not to, will you do it again?”

  “Yes.” And I did. This time it was a proper kiss, with parted lips and my full attention. But this time he pulled away.

  “You’re not doing this to pity me, are you?”

  “What? No.”

  “Then why? After all the push and pull, why now?”

  “Because I give up. I can’t fight it anymore. I don’t want to fight it anymore.”

  He reached behind my head and tugged my ponytail holder out, releasing my hair. “And to be clear, this ‘it’ you mention is…”

  I shook my head, but couldn’t be mad that he needed me to spell it out. I’d shut the door on this so many times in the last few days I’d lost count. “This…whatever between us. The ‘it’ is how much I want you.” I clamped my mouth shut, shocked I’d admitted it so plainly.

  Dex shoved his hand in the silken fall of my hair and pulled my face up to his. Our mouths met and the kiss was perfect. Soft and hard. Sweet and sexy. Slow and demanding. A fire flared within me and I needed to touch him all over. My hands grasped at his shoulders and arms. At the same time he slid closer until our bodies were connected from lip to hip.

  A tiny flash of warning went through my mind but I ignored it.

  I moaned as his hands circled my face, holding me gently as he deepened the kiss, driving his tongue inside my mouth, questing and tasting. Neglected places low in my body came to life and I nestled even closer to him.

  Emboldened by the sound I made, he slid his hands down over my shoulders and around my back, easing us both down onto the bed. We lay on our sides, tongues still tangling together. Dex reached down and pulled my leg up over his hip, bringing us even closer.

  I froze for a second as the evidence of his arousal came in contact with my lower body. But it was too late. I needed more from him. More of him. Nearly feverish with desire, I shoved my hands up the front of his shirt and ran my fingers over the rippling muscles and soft, smooth skin.

  Dex repeated the same maneuver on my back, sliding up and down, leaving heat behind. He broke off the kiss and smiled. “Let me touch you, Becca.”

  “Aren’t you already?” I asked breathlessly.

  “Yes. But I want to watch your face while I do it. See what pleases you.”

  I wanted to tell him the truth. Admit the thing I’d never told any man, but I couldn’t. So I just nodded.

  He planted one quick kiss on my lips and then rolled me onto my back, curling my legs around his hips, letting his weight rest there.

  Dex slid the bottom of my tank top up and lightly ran his hands over my skin. His long, elegant fingers dipped beneath the pale cotton and caressed the undersides of my breasts. His touch burned like fire but I arched into it instead of retreating.

  “Your skin is so soft. It’s perfect.”

  I bit back a denial and just enjoyed the sensual combination of his touch and his words.

  My hands fisted on the belt loops of his pants.

  Dex bent his head and kissed along the low neckline of my top. His tongue snaked out to lick the small hollow between my breasts and then he tugged my shirt up further, glancing up to my eyes to make sure it was okay.

  And yes, it certainly was.

  He cupped each breast in one hand and just held them for a moment. Then his mouth descended again and he kissed the pebbled tips and then outward, laving the dusky pink roundness. The gentle circling lulled me into a trance-like state, one he jarred me out of when his teeth closed around one nipple. But instead of pain I felt intense pleasure stabbing through my core.

  “Mm. I guess you like it rough too, sometimes.” His voice was a coarse whisper.

  In response I drove my hands under the waistband of his pants, touching the warm skin over his narrow hips.

  “Bloody hell, Becca.”

  He kissed me again, but kept his fingers dancing over my breasts, lightly playfully driving me insane. My hips began to shift uncontrollably as he nibbled at my bottom lip.

  “God,” he said raggedly. “Less clothes. Please, less clothes.”

  I gasped out a “Yes,” and started pulling at mine and his mindlessly.

  He did the same and we ended up in a tangle of arms and fabric for a brief moment, drawing soft laughter from both of us before we managed to coordinate the effort. Finally his naked chest met mine and it felt like heaven. Skin against skin we kissed and groped, hands kneading flesh, lips pressed hard enough to bruise.

  Dex’s hands skimmed over my hips and he lifted them, letting me feel how hard he was for me. I groaned and writhed against him, desperately wanting what I would not let myself have. Not like this.

  The realization cooled me a bit and I stopped the kiss.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I…there’s something I need to tell you.”

  He bent down and took my earlobe between his teeth. “Whatever it is, tell me later.”

  “No, I should…” But the words faded away when his hands danced under the waistband of my shorts and over the pale skin there. I couldn’t tell him yet. Couldn’t stop this insanely erotic and perfect experience. There was still time. Still more playing to do. More
feeling to do.

  “Good,” was all he said before sliding down to kiss my stomach. His tongue darted inside my belly button and then lower.

  Tugging the shorts down – they were my favorite pajamas, a bright green with white musical notes dotted all over – he revealing the boy-short panties that cradled my wide hips and large butt.

  Dex looked up at me from between my thighs and if I hadn’t been lying down I would have certainly fallen. The raw, carnal hunger in his eyes was overwhelming, and wonderful.

  He traced a finger over the bottom of my panties, over the soft curls hiding my most intimate flesh. “May I?”

  The question itself almost brought me to climax. “Hell yes.”

  He grinned wolfishly and then his face disappeared. Pushing my underwear aside he found my core with his fingers and mouth. I shut my eyes and sank into the delicious madness of his touch.

  Dex licked along my crease and then circled his tongue over the distended bundle of nerves at the top. Every muscle in my body tensed and moisture pooled under where his fingers teased my entrance.

  “More? Do you want more?”

  “Please,” I panted.

  He obliged, sliding one long digit inside me, caressing my tender walls.

  A vision of what we must look like flashed behind my eyelids. Me, sprawled shamelessly on the bed with one of the most gorgeous men I’d even seen kneeling between my legs. He was still wearing his pants and his long hair tickled the skin above my mound.

  But when Dex added a second slick finger to his questing and sucked my clit into his mouth all thoughts left me. I turned into a mass of quivering pleasure as heat coiled tighter and tighter inside me. He thrust slowly and shallow, curling his fingers to hit that perfect spot.

  I shattered explosively, rocketing into outer space until my mind was gone and only my body was left to grip his shoulders tightly and shake with the intensity of my climax.

  For his part, Dex rode every shudder, slowing and speeding up as if to guide me further along the path to ecstasy. And he did just that. Before the first convulsions stopped a new wave of pleasure crashed over me and it started all over again.