Thrilling Ethan

by Anna Paige

  Kade and the rest of the band had gone out through the front as a distraction and hauled ass in two different rental cars to assure no one was around to tail us.

  It was a fucking hassle Ethan didn’t need. He was trying not to show it, but he was in pain. The more he moved, the more we were jostled in the damn car, the more pinched his expression became.

  Eventually, we made it to his loft.

  I texted Aubrey when we arrived, and she said the guys would regroup and be over in a few hours. They wanted to give Ethan time to settle in first.

  I shot texts to Dana and Arthur as well. Arthur sent his best wishes to Ethan and assured me my pup and his poor cat were both faring well. Dana said she’d stop by to pick up Dammit on her way over to visit that evening.

  Thank goodness for friends like ours.

  Ethan’s parents were right there with us through all the bait and switch stuff, saw all the screaming fans and reporters out the hospital room window, and the way they looked at him, it was like they were just then realizing how loved and admired Ethan really was.

  They even seemed in complete awe that the band, all of whom they’d known since they were kids, would throw themselves to the wolves to protect Ethan’s privacy.

  I opened the loft door and stood aside, waiting for Ethan to make his way through the door. It was a little cold, so as soon as he was safely inside, I adjusted the thermostat in the hall and came back to help carry his things.

  Gail carried a flower arrangement in each hand—one from her and Charles, the other from the band’s management team. There were over a hundred more arrangements sent by fans, but Ethan had donated them to the other patients and any new deliveries were rerouted to a nearby convalescent home. The cards were kept and forwarded to the same place his fan mail went, so he could still read them when he got time.

  Charles came in behind us and carried two plastic bags that held his son’s belongings—most of which were ruined from being cut off him in the ambulance.

  A memory of that flashed through my mind and I forced it away before it could upset me again.

  I’d probably never stop reliving it: seeing the car hit him, watching the EMTs cut up the legs of his jeans and straight up the middle of his shirt while he lay there motionless.

  It would haunt me for the rest of my life.

  But today, I refused to let it get to me. I refused to be anything but hopeful.

  We shuffled through the kitchen and made our way to the living room, where we planned to set Ethan up on the couch, at least until he’d let us move him to the bedroom. He wanted to be up as much as possible, and the doctors agreed that he needed to move as much as he could. But he was also cautioned not to overdo it and to rest more than he moved, at least this first week.

  Ethan took the lead, walking stiffly but determinedly to the living room as he gave a quick, breathy tour to his parents, who’d never been to the loft before.

  “This is the living room. Excuse the drums and guitars. We practice here,” he said, stepping into the room.

  He halted so quickly I nearly walked right into his back, which would have been a bad, bad thing given his injuries.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “Where did that…is that…Ryan?” he gasped, rocking back a little on his heels.

  I stepped around him and cursed. “Shit. They weren’t supposed to hang it. I asked them to put it behind the drum kit, not hang it on the wall.” I turned to find all three of them staring, frozen in place. “I’m so sorry. I would never have intentionally blindsided you like this.”

  Ethan’s mouth hung open as he slowly made his way across the room, one hand on his injured side.

  Gail and Charles followed a few paces behind, their eyes locked on the enormous painting that wasn’t supposed to have been uncrated yet.

  Goddamn it, Dana.

  Nothing I could do now but apologize and hope I hadn’t upset everyone.

  It was supposed to be a gift—Ethan’s Christmas present. I’d had a speech all planned out, a way to ease him into it without just showing him the damn thing and freaking him out.

  Shit, shit, shit.

  The painting, which I’d commissioned with an artist I knew from the gallery, was of a TotC concert. Rather than showing the band, the painting featured the audience. With stunning realism, it showed lighters glowing and thousands of silhouettes packed into the wide-open space, some of them holding hand-painted signs proclaiming their love.

  It was so detailed, so vibrant, it could have been mistaken for a photograph.

  And there, front and center, in unbelievably clear detail, were Ryan and Cara, each wearing TotC concert tees, embracing as they looked on with obvious pride and adoration on their faces.

  I’d even had the artist use Ryan’s red for Cara’s shirt, as a tribute to them both.

  I’d seen Ethan shed a few tears in the last twenty-four hours but standing there, staring at the face of the brother he lost…Ethan broke in the most beautiful, heartrending way possible.

  And his parents were there beside him, holding him all the while.

  They broke together, and soon, they would heal together.

  I had absolute faith in that.

  I had absolute faith in him.

  And I’d be there every step of the way, because despite what I told myself when this all started…Ethan Chase was my forever.

  Chapter Sixty-Three

  Emily

  Unlike with Ethan and his parents, I was able to warn the rest of the guys before they saw the painting.

  Everyone poured in about three hours after we arrived. As soon as I buzzed them in, I went to stand by the door and wait to head them off.

  Kade eyed me when he walked in and asked, “You here to make sure we play nice?”

  Kane and Lennox both looked less than comfortable with the idea of being there but not necessarily in an angry way, which surprised me. Jared said nothing when he walked in but leaned over and pecked me on the cheek, which completely melted my heart.

  Once everyone was inside, I glanced toward the end of the house where the Chases were. “I’m not here to tell you how to navigate this because damn if I know how I’d do it in your places. This isn’t about that. It’s about something else entirely, something good—provided you don’t get blindsided with it like they were.” I nodded in the direction of the living room.

  “Blindsided by what?” Lennox frowned and tossed a worried look down the hall.

  “See, I had this idea for Ethan’s Christmas present…”

  Chapter Sixty-Four

  Ethan

  Half an hour after Aubrey and the guys arrived, everyone was scattered around the living room, and no one could seem to keep their eyes off the painting for very long. There was quiet chatter here and there, some between me and Jared, some between the twins. Lenn was so unusually quiet I almost threw one of my pillows at him to make sure he wasn’t in some sort of shock.

  My parents held hands and whispered to each other while casting sorrowful smiles between the painting and me.

  Aubrey sat next to Emily on the love seat and nudged her knee. “You did really great. Just when I thought Ethan was the gift giving champion…” She smiled over at me then her eyes drifted to the painting. “I never met them, but seeing that makes me feel connected to them somehow. Is that weird?”

  “Not at all. I felt the same way the first time I saw it,” Em whispered. I could hear them because I was so close, having set myself up at the far end of the long couch, with only a small end table between my spot and the love seat. “I know everyone is lost in thought and everything, but I still feel a lot of tension, and no one’s really talking.”

  Aubrey nodded in agreement and glanced around.

  I’d noticed too, of course. I wasn’t blind or stupid. At the hospital, everyone sort of avoided being in the room with my parents and my parents hadn’t really gone out of their way to talk to anyone but me and Em.

  I wanted to say something
, but I had no idea where to start or what I even wanted to say. It wasn’t like I could demand my brothers forgive and forget just because I had.

  It was quiet for a while and, like always, Lenn had to say something stupid. “So, anyone else getting that awkward ‘are you supposed to thank the doc after a prostate exam’ kind of feeling?”

  “Jesus, Lenn. You and your prostate.” Aubrey rolled her eyes.

  Em chuckled awkwardly, blushing, and I knew she was thinking of his gift, which we’d yet to give him. It was hidden away upstairs. The damn thing was the size of a fire extinguisher and I’d had every intention of giving it to him on stage during the New Year’s Eve concert. Now, I was just waiting for my folks to split long enough for us to present it to him—on video, of course.

  Kade didn’t even respond, he just cut him a look that should have caused him to burst into flames, and then turned to address the room. “He’s an idiot, but he’s right.”

  Kane nodded in agreement and looked at my folks, sadness tinging his expression. “The truth is, we don’t know what to say to you guys. For so long, we were Ethan’s only family. We looked out for him, just like he looked out for us. We helped him get through losing his brother, and we got him through you two turning your backs on him, because that’s how our family works. But the thing is, it wasn’t just Ethan who lost Ryan. And it wasn’t just Ethan who you two abandoned. We loved you guys like our own parents. We practiced in your garage, demolished your groceries, shared Christmases with you. You basically helped raise us. And you left us too.” He shook his head and sat back, running his hands over his face.

  I could have sworn he was wiping away tears.

  Lennox cut in, and for the first time in forever, he was deadly serious. “Kane’s right. We named this band after something Ryan used to say. Not because it was clever but because it meant we’d have him with us. He’d be here, even if he wasn’t.” His eyes flickered to the painting. “He was our brother, too. And we miss him. Even after ten years. Every. Single. Day.”

  Kade leaned forward on the couch and clasped his hands between his knees. “We all loved him, just like we all loved you. Then you checked out on us, and we had to get through all of that on our own. Maybe it made us stronger in the long run—I’d like to think so anyway—but I do know having you two there could have made it a hell of a lot easier on all of us. Maybe it would have made us stronger in other ways, ways that didn’t hurt quite as much.”

  Aubrey sniffed from the love seat, and I knew it was killing her not to get up and go to her husband.

  Jared, who was on the other end of the couch with me, was the last to speak. “My family was supposed to be linked to yours forever. My sister was supposed to be your daughter. But I always thought we were already family because I grew up in that house, at your table, in your vacation pictures. I was one of you from the time I was in elementary school.” He blew out a breath, swallowing thickly. “Ryan was my brother long before he loved my sister. And I lost them both. Then I lost you. Then I lost my mom. Then—” His voice broke, and he dropped his head.

  I saw Emily start to get up from the corner of my eye, but Aubrey put a hand on her leg, stopping her.

  I loved her so much for wanting to go to him, to comfort him, but she was too late. My mom was on her feet, tears streaming down her face as she practically staggered across the room toward him.

  She shuddered and sobbed as she knelt on the floor in front of him and tugged him into her arms. “I’m so sorry, baby boy. I’m so incredibly sorry. We love you, and we loved Cara, too.”

  I was so busy watching them I didn’t notice my dad coming over to stand behind my mom. Dad placed one hand on her shoulder, and the other reached out to stroke Jared’s hair as he leaned into my mom and held on for dear life. “I would have been honored to have her as my daughter. I still think of her as mine, no matter how it must have seemed at the time. We didn’t just love her because Ryan loved her; we loved her because she was incredible. Our boy was lucky to have her.”

  I looked around the room, and there wasn’t a dry eye to be found.

  Not one.

  And before I knew it, my brothers were all kneeling on the floor around my mother, embracing her between whispered apologies and mutterings of Ryan and Cara’s names.

  Aubrey went over and hugged my dad, who was used to playing second fiddle to my mom.

  Emily came and carefully wedged herself next to me on the couch, holding my hand.

  I’d owned my loft for nearly ten years, but it had always been a place to paint or crash when I was in town.

  It wasn’t until that moment that it felt like my home.

  Chapter Sixty-Five

  Ethan

  Since we had to nix the concert we’d had booked on New Year’s Eve because of my injuries, Emily and I had a party. Not some overpopulated rager, more like a family gathering.

  The loft was covered in shiny silver streamers and soft white string lights. Em and Dana had spent all day decorating between shifts in the kitchen, working on what was by far the most incredible food spread I’d ever seen—and I’d seen a lot over the years.

  My mom was in the kitchen for most of the day herself, whipping up my childhood favorites and contributing to the celebration in the only way she knew how. It was nice to see her there, to know she was back to the mom I remembered, the mom who—like my Emily—showed love best through food. Lots and lots of food.

  Dad sat with me in the living room, keeping silent watch over my still-healing body. Everyone was so determined not to let me help. It was making me antsy. Hell, even Dammit wasn’t allowed on the couch with me, for fear he might get excited and start bouncing around.

  He lay by my feet on the floor and gave the occasional whine of longing to show his disappointment. Even the smell of my mom’s crab dip wasn’t enough to entice him into the kitchen.

  Maybe on some level he knew what I’d done to save him.

  Or maybe he was just an attention whore, and the fact that I wasn’t letting him snuggle me was ticking him off.

  Either way, it was clear that his ass-chomping days—at least as far as I was concerned—were behind him. He was an Ethan fan, through and through.

  He didn’t even leave my side to bark at the guys when they arrived, which I knew he was dying to do. He especially liked barking at Lennox, who liked to challenge him to howling contests.

  When everyone poured in, Jared was at the front of the pack, and, like he’d been doing for the last week, he halted for a second and stared at the painting on the wall, a thoughtful smile on his face.

  I glanced at it too, and my breath caught just like it always did. Jared came over to sit beside me on the couch, and we just looked at it while the rest of the band removed their coats and greetings were exchanged.

  Poor Dana was still apologizing a week later for her mistake, though she’d hung it thinking it would be a help since I was hurt and Em was busy taking care of me.

  It just never occurred to her that seeing it would be such a shock.

  And it really was. But in a good way.

  No, an incredible way.

  It was the single best gift I’d ever received.

  After one look at it, Jared had asked for one of his own, and Emily assured him that one was already being made.

  The artist was an unknown, not someone who’d been featured at the gallery. She was a frequent visitor who’d befriended Emily and shown her some of her sketches.

  She was seventeen years old.

  As soon as the gallery was officially in our hands, I intended to make that girl a star. She would be the first featured artist at the gallery after it changed hands, and her exhibition would be promoted absolutely everywhere. There’d be more press than the gallery had ever seen before.

  Especially now that I’d announced the pending purchase of the gallery and officially come out as Conspicuous.

  If possible, that news had spread faster than word of my injury.

  Of cours
e, there were still people who thought it was bullshit, who didn’t want to take it at face value, but the truth was still the truth, even if no one believed it.

  Once Emily’s name was out there as soon to be co-owner of the gallery, it didn’t take long for people to decide we’d been working together all along to hide my double life. It was funny, really, given how short a time she’d known the truth, but I worried she wouldn’t like all the attention.

  Aubrey assured me she was schooling her on how to handle being part of the TotC spotlight, and so far, she seemed to be taking it all in stride.

  Except for a few ridiculous rumors that claimed she was actually with Jared, who she was photographed with on Black Friday. That pic resurfaced and rumors abounded. That kind of pissed her off because some people called her the band pass-around, as if she started with him and moved onto me.

  Some of the rumors claimed she was still with Jared—who they contended was the real Conspicuous—and suggested she and I were putting on an act to throw off the media.

  It was all so stupid, and I had no one to blame but myself. I should have revealed myself sooner, long before she was dragged into it, but if I had, I never would have found her. I never would have sought out small galleries that would keep my identity secret in favor of the huge ones with all their connections.

  There would have been no reason to even look at Niko’s gallery as an option, and that meant I never would have been there, skulking about before a show. I never would have seen that fiery side of her that I now loved so much.

  So, I couldn’t bring myself to really regret it.

  The rumors would eventually die down, and we could get back to normal, or whatever passed for normal for us anyway.

  Until then, let them talk. Let them wonder. Let them theorize and speculate and publish bullshit in their crappy gossip rags.

  I had more important things to focus on.

  Like family.

  My whole family.