Newborn Daddy (The Baby Secret)

by Judy Christenberry

  “Everyone packed?” Ryan asked, trying to keep his voice cheerful.

  “Come in, Ryan,” Beth called, smiling. “Yes, we’re packed. We’re just waiting for Steve to okay everything.”

  “Good. So you and junior are doing okay?”

  “Yes, fine. Better than you, I’d say.” Beth looked at her husband before shifting her gaze back to Ryan.

  “Stayed up too late working,” Ryan muttered.

  “I see. I thought maybe you were worrying about not telling me about Emma.”

  Ryan glared at Jack, figuring he’d told his wife about Emma and the baby.

  “I didn’t say a word,” Jack protested, rightly interpreting Ryan’s glare.

  “For heaven’s sake, Ryan, the entire town is talking. I had to pretend I already knew when my visitors spilled the beans. Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you known?”

  “Beth, I—I found out when I saw the baby in the nursery. It’s been a shock.” What an understatement, Ryan thought. He still didn’t know what he was going to do.

  “Oh. Well, I want to go see her before I go home. She might not let me visit her if I don’t.”

  “Don’t you need to wait for Steve?”

  “I’ll tell them at the nurse’s desk where I am. Please?” Beth pleaded with her gaze as well as her words.

  Ryan shrugged. “You’ll get a better reception if you go without me.”

  “But—but I heard you’re taking her home to the ranch.”

  Ryan stuck his hands in his jean pockets. “Yeah, but she hates my guts. She’s going because she can’t manage on her own. She didn’t handle everything as well as you did.”

  Beth stared at him before turning to her husband. “Go get a wheelchair. I want to take Jackson to show her.”

  “You can’t walk?” Ryan asked, worried.

  “I can, but I worry about stumbling when I’m carrying the baby.”

  Jack was quickly back with a wheelchair. While he was gone, Ryan had taken a closer look at his namesake. Ryan Jackson had weighed over eight pounds when he was born, and he hadn’t lost much weight.

  Emma’s baby, on the other hand, had weighed only a little under six pounds. Ryan wouldn’t have thought the difference in weight would matter, but it did.

  Once Beth and Jackson were settled in the chair, with Jack pushing it, they all traveled the short distance to Emma’s room. Ryan dreaded facing her today, but maybe she’d be nicer with Beth along. He knew Emma had liked Beth.

  “Emma?” he called after rapping on the door.

  “Yes?”

  He pushed open the door. It was clear she hadn’t recognized his voice. Shock was on her face.

  “I’m not ready to go yet. I have to get dressed and—”

  He gestured behind him. “I know. I brought you some visitors.”

  “Beth!” Emma called with joy when she saw his sister behind him.

  “Emma, how are you? I heard you had a hard time. I didn’t even know you were here until last evening,” Beth explained as Jack wheeled her to Emma’s bedside.

  “Oh, you brought your little boy. Isn’t he handsome! And so big. Andy’s small,” Emma said, beaming at her old friend.

  “Andy? I thought you had a little girl.”

  “I did. Her name is Andrea.” Emma shifted her gaze to Ryan quickly, then turned back to Beth.

  Ryan couldn’t help himself. “Andrea Leigh.”

  “You named her after Mom?” Beth asked, a big smile on her lips. “She’ll be so pleased.”

  Emma glared at Ryan. “I didn’t intend…”

  The nurse entered with Emma’s baby in her arms. “My goodness. I didn’t know you had company, Miss Davenport. Do you want me to take your baby back to the nursery until the doctor gets here?”

  “Oh, no. I’m ready for her. Did she have a good night?” Emma asked, her voice eager as she extended her arms.

  “Oh, good,” Beth exclaimed. “I’m dying to see her. You’ll get to dress your baby in pretty clothes. Jack has already bought a pair of jeans for Jackson. Ugh!”

  The two women examined both babies, rapidly exchanging compliments. Jack stood just behind Beth, glowing with pride. Ryan remained close to the door, trying to hide his desire to see the little girl.

  His little girl.

  He still found it hard to believe that, once again, he was a father. It was painful, because it made him think about Ryan, Jr., who would’ve been getting ready for kindergarten in the fall…if he hadn’t died.

  “Hey, Ryan,” Jack called, “I bet you never thought a kid of yours would be so—so dainty. Are you afraid you’ll break her when you hold her? I know I am when I hold Jackson and he’s lots bigger.”

  His cheerful remark was followed by silence.

  Ryan didn’t know what to say. He’d never touched the child, much less held her.

  Emma, however, didn’t seem to have his problem. “Ryan hasn’t held my child,” she said quietly.

  Beth patted Jack’s hand as it rested on her shoulder. “It’s not easy for Ryan, Emma. I know you’ve heard—give him time.”

  Emma held Andrea tightly against her. “I’m not making any demands on Ryan, Beth. I’ll probably move after I’m able to take care of the two of us on my own. It will be better that way.”

  “Leave? Oh, no! No, Emma, don’t leave,” Beth protested.

  Ryan was glad Beth had spoken. He was paralyzed with shock.

  Then Beth, Jack and Emma all looked at him. Beth was the first to look away. Ryan knew what his sister and brother-in-law wanted. They wanted him to protest Emma’s leaving, too.

  But how could he?

  He cleared his throat. “When is Steve supposed to be here?”

  Jack said, “He told Beth she’d be able to leave around ten and it’s a quarter to now.”

  “Good. I brought a car seat for—for Andrea.”

  That was the first time he’d called the baby by name. He took a quick look at Emma to see if she would protest his familiarity.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, not looking at him. “But I thought Billy was going to come.”

  “He’s home fixing you a big lunch,” Ryan said brusquely.

  Another tense silence.

  “Mom and Dad are going to be here in a couple of days,” Beth said brightly. “They’ll be so excited to know they have two grandchildren.”

  “I think it might be best if they don’t know, since I’ll be leaving soon, anyway.” Another tense silence.

  Then Emma spoke again. “I guess I’d better feed Andy now, before I get dressed.”

  As a hint for them to leave, Emma’s words were blunt, but Beth didn’t seem to take the hint. “Oh, you shouldn’t dress, Emma. Just put on your robe. No one expects you to be the height of fashion, especially when you’ll get back in bed as soon as you get to the ranch.”

  Emma raised her chin. “I don’t have a robe, so I’ll dress. But it won’t take me long,” she added with a quick look at Ryan, as if afraid he might get upset if she kept him waiting.

  Ryan again felt guilt. Beth had received a new robe and gown from her parents to pack for her trip to the hospital. Emma had received no gifts.

  “We’d better let you feed the baby,” he said, sending a message to Beth that they should leave.

  Emma nodded. “Thank you for coming to visit, Beth.”

  Beth reached out to touch her hand. “I’ve missed you, Emma. It won’t be our last visit.”

  Then the three of them left Emma and baby Andrea alone.

  Chapter Four

  For the first time that morning, Emma was happy. Holding Andrea in her arms, nursing her, feeling so connected to another human, her baby, made a difference.

  Even if Ryan rejected them, she had family. She had Andy. And her child wouldn’t be hurt by Ryan’s attitude as long as he kept his distance. She smoothed back the fuzzy dark hair that covered Andrea’s head. Then she kissed her forehead.

  The baby had learned her lesson about nursing quic
kly, and this morning seemed more eager, hungrier. Even the nurse had commented on it before she’d left the room.

  The door opened and the nurse re-entered. “Still eating? She’s got a good appetite for such a small one.”

  Emma beamed.

  “Here,” the nurse said, putting a large paper bag on the bed. “This is from Ryan.”

  Emma’s happiness dissolved. “What is it?”

  “One of those nice terrycloth robes they sell in the gift shop.”

  Humiliation surged through Emma. “I don’t want it. Have him return it and get his money back.”

  The nurse looked shocked. She stepped closer to the bed. “Dear, you’re being stubborn. You need to think about what’s best for you. It will take too much energy to get dressed, just to undress again. Besides, let the man fuss over you. It’ll make him feel good.”

  Emma almost burst into hysterical laughter. Fussing over her was the last thing Ryan wanted to do. It must’ve been Beth’s idea to get her a robe. Emma realized it was her fault. She should’ve just said she preferred to dress.

  Stiffly, she said, “Thank you.”

  Andrea shoved tiny fists against Emma’s breasts and mewed in protest. She hurriedly helped the baby find the right spot again.

  “Besides, if you don’t stay relaxed, that sweet thing won’t be able to eat well,” the nurse added.

  For the next couple of minutes both women stayed silent until Andrea fell asleep.

  “Good job,” the nurse said, reaching for the baby. “I’m going to lie her down here at the end of the bed so you can get up and slip into your new robe. Then I’ll get the wheelchair. I left it out in the hall.”

  Emma did as the nurse instructed, standing to slide her arms into the soft robe. She’d never indulged in luxury, especially since she’d found out she was pregnant. She’d saved every penny for the future.

  The nurse left her standing, holding on to the bed for support, and went out the door to fetch the wheelchair. When she reentered, she was accompanied by Ryan and Dr. Lambert.

  It was the doctor and not Ryan who hurried to ease her into the wheelchair. “Good morning, Emma. I hear little Andrea took to nursing like a duck to water.”

  By the time Emma was seated in the chair, she was trembling again. Even if it was Beth’s idea to get her the robe, she was grateful. “Yes, she’s doing well.” She nerved herself to look at Ryan. “Thank you for the robe.”

  He nodded, saying nothing.

  Steve lifted her wrist to take her pulse. “I think you’re doing better today, Emma, but I want you to take it easy. Let the others take care of both of you, okay? I’ll be out in a few days to check on you.”

  “Thank you, Doctor.” She suspected she was receiving such consideration because of Ryan. But the thought of dressing and coming to the doctor’s office was more than she could consider at this moment.

  “Are you all packed?” Dr. Lambert asked.

  The nurse answered. “Yes, I’ve packed her bag for her.”

  Ryan, who still hadn’t spoken, stepped forward and took the bag from the nurse.

  “Well, then, off you go, Emma.” The doctor picked up the baby and handed her to Emma. With baby Andrea in her arms again, Emma relaxed. No matter where they went, she and Andrea would manage.

  Ryan watched Emma nestle the baby against her, her love obvious to all of them. She was going to be a wonderful mother. As Merilee had been. In fact, he’d complained that Merilee hadn’t wanted him involved in Ryan, Jr.’s life until he got big enough to walk.

  Emma didn’t want him involved at all.

  The baby suddenly opened her eyes, and Ryan would swear she was staring at him. Her eyes didn’t have any particular color yet, but Ryan was entranced. It was the first time she’d been awake in his presence. It was all he could do to hold back an exclamation.

  “Since you’ve got the bag, I’ll push the wheelchair, Ryan,” the nurse said.

  “And I’ll go release Beth and Jack. I know they’re anxious to get home,” Steve Lambert said. “See you in a few days.” He left the room.

  The nurse pushed Emma and the baby out of the room, and Emma could hear Ryan’s boots as he followed. Almost like a family. Emma sharply reprimanded herself at such a thought. She had to keep herself from dreaming about a future with Ryan. It wasn’t going to happen.

  She had to remain strong.

  Ryan stored Emma’s suitcase in the back of his SUV, then he came back to the front of the car and opened the back-seat door by the baby carrier.

  The nurse still stood behind the wheelchair and he realized she was waiting for him to pick up his child and put her in the carrier.

  He drew a deep breath before bending toward Emma. He feared she wouldn’t give up her child. But, after a hesitation, she let him take Andrea. Knowing her gaze was following his every move, he gently placed the baby in the seat and belted her in.

  Andrea rubbed her tiny nose with her fists and stretched. Ryan watched in fascination, hoping she’d open her eyes again. Instead, she settled in and grew still, her eyes still closed.

  “You did that well for a new daddy,” the nurse said cheerfully. She hadn’t lived in town all that long and had no idea Ryan had had another child. But he heard Emma gasp. She knew. He wondered how long after his outrageous behavior she had heard the story.

  He cleared his throat. “Thanks.” Then he looked at Emma, no expression on her face now. “Ready, Emma?”

  She pushed with her arms to stand, but he’d already noted how weak she was. Without saying anything, he lifted her as easily as he had the baby and settled her in the front seat. Her gasp told him he’d surprised her, but then any consideration he offered her seemed to be a surprise.

  He fastened the seat belt before she could move. Then he said his goodbye to the nurse. Emma, too, in a hoarse voice, thanked the nurse for her care.

  With a smile, Ryan closed the door and rounded the vehicle to the driver’s seat. “You okay?” he asked.

  Emma nodded, but she said nothing.

  The drive to the ranch was silent.

  When he parked the car by the back porch, she undid her own seat belt.

  “Don’t move,” he ordered. Then he took Andrea from the baby carrier and opened the front door on Emma’s side to put the baby into her arms.

  “Thank you,” she murmured, never looking at him. Then she began sliding to the edge of the seat, as if she thought he would let her walk to the house.

  Instead, he scooped her into his arms again, holding her against his chest. He refused to admit how good she felt there. But he’d missed her the past seven months.

  Billy held the back door open, and Ryan carried Emma directly to the room they had prepared.

  “The baby—Andrea’s room is across the hall. I’ll go put her in her bed.” He looked over his shoulder to see Billy and Maria Carter, one of the wives who lived on the ranch, hovering in the doorway. “Maria will help you get into bed.”

  He could’ve asked Maria to take care of the baby, but one taste of holding her had left him hungering for more. He took the tiny infant from Emma—she surrendered the baby reluctantly—and headed for the newly established nursery.

  Billy had remained by the door and reached out to pull back the blanket. “Aw, she’s a beauty, Emma,” he said, and Emma beamed.

  Unwanted jealousy rose in Ryan. He wanted to please Emma, to bring that glorious smile to her face. But that wouldn’t happen, he knew. She’d scarcely look at him, much less smile. And he couldn’t blame her.

  He carried Andrea into the nursery, but he didn’t put her in the crib at once. He held her, taking his first good look at his child. She was perfectly formed, but he searched for signs of his parentage. Her hair was as dark as Emma’s, while his was a soft brown. Her features were delicate, like her mother’s. But as she opened her eyes again, he decided they would be blue, like his, instead of Emma’s hazel eyes.

  “Something wrong with the crib?” Billy asked behind him.
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  “No, but I haven’t had a chance to look at her. Emma doesn’t want me to touch her,” he admitted.

  “Is she yours?” Billy asked.

  Ryan had expected the question from the moment he’d told Billy about the baby. But Billy had never asked, even when they’d worked on the nursery.

  He turned, still holding the baby. “Yes, she’s mine. But I didn’t find out about her until I went to see Beth.”

  Billy nodded. “Better put her in the crib so she can rest. Little ones need a lot of sleep.”

  Reluctantly, Ryan lowered the baby into the crib.

  “Put her on her back. That’s what they recommend these days.”

  Ryan looked in surprise at the old cowboy. “How do you know that?”

  “I started reading up on babies when Beth told us she was pregnant. Figured I’d need to baby-sit,” Billy said with a grin. “Glad I did, ‘cause now we got our own baby.”

  “Billy, Emma won’t stay any longer than she has to. She’s not happy about being here.” Ryan figured he’d better warn Billy not to expect a future with little Andrea.

  “Why not? You’re the daddy. Where else would she and Emma be?”

  Ryan didn’t know, but he felt sure he’d find out.

  But first, he’d spend some time with the baby he hadn’t known about.

  Emma heard Andy crying and stirred against her pillow. Her eyes were gritty from waking so frequently during the night. She’d thought she’d be much stronger after a week of Billy and Maria’s good care.

  And she was better. She could even rise by herself. She still wasn’t carrying Andy. When Dr. Lambert had visited a couple of days ago, he’d warned her not to rush things.

  But she had decided she was well enough. She’d stayed the recommended week. That was enough.

  Her bedroom door opened and Maria tiptoed in, Andrea in her arms. “Are you awake? Someone wants an early breakfast.”

  “Of course,” Emma agreed, shoving herself up to a sitting position. “What time is it?”

  “It’s six-thirty.” Maria had been spending the night to be there when the baby awoke each night. Emma figured she must be as tired as Emma was.

  Before she could comment, the door was pushed slightly open. “Everything all right?” Ryan called softly from the hallway.