Maria hurried back to the door after handing Emma the baby.
“Everything’s fine. Andy woke up early,” she whispered.
Emma listened intently. She’d only seen Ryan once in the week she’d occupied his home. She and Andy had been invisible to him. Occasionally she’d hear his voice in the evening as Billy served him dinner. Otherwise, he could’ve left the country as far as she was concerned.
And probably wanted to.
His indifference ate away at her comfort. She had never wanted to be a charity case again. Or to be unwanted. She’d promised herself Andy would never feel those emotions.
And that was why she was leaving today…if she could talk Maria into helping her.
Maria came back into the room after Emma had uncovered her breast and offered breakfast to her hungry child. Andy gulped down milk like she hadn’t eaten in weeks.
“Oh, she’s hungry, isn’t she?” Maria asked with a laugh.
“She always is.”
“Must take after her father,” Maria said, her smile widening. “But she must have his metabolism, too. He eats like a horse but never gains weight.”
Emma took a deep breath. She’d tried not to think about Ryan for any reason, but particularly in connection to Andy.
“Maria? Will you help me?”
As she had done all week, Maria immediately responded to Emma’s question, scurrying to the bedside. “Of course, Emma. What do you want me to do?”
“I want you to take us home.”
Maria’s eyes widened in shock and she took a step back from the bed. “What do you mean?”
“The doctor said I needed to stay here a week, and the week is up today. I’m ready to go home, but I can’t drive myself. My car is in town.”
“But Ryan—does he know?”
“Of course he does.” She wasn’t lying. He’d been there when the doctor told her she had to stay a week. He’d be relieved when he came home to discover his tortuous generosity had ended.
“Well, of course, I can, but don’t you think Ryan will want to—”
“No! You know he’s putting in long hours. He’ll be tired…and grateful to know he won’t have to go out after his long hours in the saddle.” Emma always knew when Ryan was in the house. There was a raw energy that filled the air, a sense that the day had ended when he came home.
“He is working long hours,” Maria agreed, still frowning.
“I have everything ready at home, so you won’t have to worry about me. And I imagine your husband is getting tired of you not being at home.” She could tell she’d touched a sore spot by Maria’s rueful look.
“He has complained, but he sure likes the extra money I’m earning.”
Emma swallowed her groan. She hated the thought of how much she owed Ryan. But she was stronger now. She could bring an end to his sacrifices by returning to her apartment.
Until she was well enough to move away.
“When do you want to go?”
“As soon as I feed her, I’ll get dressed. While I’m doing that, if you could pack Andy’s things…just the nightgowns Ryan provided, and a few of the disposable diapers.” She’d bought cloth diapers, but those were at the apartment. Secretly, she hoped she could afford the disposable ones for a while. They certainly made life easier.
“Okay, I’ll go start packing now. But you must eat breakfast before you go. Okay?”
Emma smiled. “I’d never turn down one of Billy’s meals. That’s a good idea.”
Maria hurried from the room after Emma agreed.
In the kitchen Maria asked for Emma’s breakfast….and decided to check with the old cowboy to see what he thought about Emma’s plans.
“Billy, Emma needs her breakfast,” she said as she entered, grateful there was no sign of her husband’s employer.
“Early today, isn’t she?” Billy asked, turning around from the sink.
Maria nodded, but she hurried on to more important things. “She says she’s going home today.”
Billy stared at her. “Today?”
“She said the doctor said she could go home after a week. It’s been a week since she came. She said Ryan knows.”
Bill stood there frowning. “You’d think he’d mention her going. But he don’t talk about Emma. Or the baby. He sneaks in at night to look at Andy, but I don’t think he’s visited with Emma even once. I’d hoped—”
“Me, too. I guess that’s why she wants to leave.”
“Yeah,” Billy agreed with a sigh. “Well, we can’t hold her here, if that’s what she wants.”
“You don’t think Mr. Nix will fire Tommy, do you?” Maria asked, worried for her husband’s job.
“’Cause you did as Emma asked? You know better than that, Maria. The boss is fair.”
Maria nodded. “I’ll go start packing the baby’s things. She wants to leave as soon as she’s had breakfast.”
“Okay, I’m going to pack her a basket of food to take with her. She shouldn’t be on her feet much for a while yet.”
About three o’clock, Ryan’s cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his saddlebag, reining in his mount. “Hello?”
“Darling, can we come over this evening and see little Andrea?” his mother asked at once.
“Mom,” he started, desperately looking for another reason to postpone their visit. His mother had called three nights ago, when they’d arrived from Florida, telling him Beth had said to call. That he had something to tell her.
He made a mental note to pay his sister back for her meddling. But in actuality, he was glad to confess before anyone else told his parents. However, he’d asked them not to visit for a few days, citing Emma’s health.
“We’re not going to ask her to run a marathon,” Leigh Nix protested before Ryan could come up with anything. “But I want her to know we’re excited about the baby.”
With a sigh, he said, “Okay, Mom, but it’ll have to be a short visit.”
“Of course. Afterwards, we can talk.”
Her words sounded ominous, but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t expected. “Sure.”
After stowing the phone back in his saddlebag, he rode to the other side of the herd they were moving to talk to his manager. “Baxter, I’m going back to the house early. Everything okay?”
“We’re doin’ fine, boss. ’Bout time you took off early.”
Ryan didn’t bother acknowledging his manager’s opinion. He couldn’t tell the man the mother of his child didn’t want him around. Everyone seemed to think Emma’s living at the ranch was a permanent thing.
Maybe he did, too. He hadn’t made any plans. He hadn’t come to any decisions about the future, either. He’d drifted, staying away from the house until late, making sure he stayed out of Emma’s way, getting a report from Billy each night.
But he’d snuck into Andrea’s room before he went to bed each evening, unable to stay away from his beautiful child.
He guessed he was hoping that Emma, with good food and rest, would forget how much she hated him.
So far it hadn’t worked.
He was about a half hour’s ride from the house. After reaching home and caring for his horse, he strode to the house. Billy would be surprised to see him at this time of the day.
It would give his cook time to prepare something to serve when his parents came over. And he wanted to ready Emma for their visit.
“Something wrong, Boss?” Billy called as he stepped onto the porch.
“Nope,” Ryan replied, taking the screen door from Billy’s hands as they both moved into the kitchen. “But I can’t stall Mom and Dad any longer. They’re coming over tonight to see the baby. And Emma.”
He didn’t see Billy’s face until after he’d gotten himself a drink of water. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his heartbeat speeding up. “Is the baby sick? Emma?”
“They’re not here,” Billy replied.
Ryan turned to stone. Then his heart raced as he grabbed Billy’s arm. “What do you mean? Emma’s n
ot well? Did she have to go to the doctor?”
“Nope. She told Maria she was only supposed to stay a week and asked her to take her to her apartment.”
“Damn! When did she go?”
“This morning early, after breakfast.”
Ryan didn’t stop for any conversation. “Get her room ready. She’s coming back.”
Then he headed for his truck.
Emma had known going to her apartment would be tiring, both emotionally and physically. After all, she’d cut her connection to Ryan. No more fantasizing. She and Andrea were on their own.
She’d slept all day, waking only when Andrea had cried for her meals. And Emma had managed to eat some of the food Billy had thoughtfully sent home with her.
She’d just drifted off to sleep again when there was a loud banging on the door. Andrea, who was sleeping beside her mother to save Emma frequent trips to the nursery, woke up crying.
“What—? Just a minute.” Emma called. She patted Andrea comfortingly even as she struggled to get up. Hurrying wasn’t much of an option, but Emma went as fast as she could. The banging continued, and Andy was crying again.
She grabbed the door and opened it, anxious to stop the noise. “Please, ssh, the baby—Ryan!”
He strode past her without a word, crossing the small apartment quickly, heading for the nursery.
“Where is she?” he demanded as he came out of the small room. Before Emma could answer, he entered her bedroom. Emma tried to get to her room before him, but she couldn’t move quickly, and trying made her dizzy. “Ryan, what are you doing? What’s going on?”
He met her at the doorway, Andrea in his arms. “I’m taking my child back home. You’re welcome to come if you want, but Andrea is going to be taken care of.”
Panic rammed through Emma. He couldn’t take her baby!
“I’m taking care of her!” she exclaimed. She put her hands on Andrea, trying to take her baby into her arms.
“You’re too weak to even take care of yourself, much less Andrea. I’m keeping her safe.”
He tried to move past her, but Emma wasn’t going to let anyone take her baby. Especially Ryan.
As she tried to wrestle the baby free, the dizziness worsened, and she felt herself falling. The last thing she heard was Ryan’s voice calling her name.
Chapter Five
Ryan freed one hand to grab Emma as she sank to the floor. He couldn’t hold her, but he managed to break her fall. He laid her on the floor before returning Andrea to the bassinet in the nursery. Then he hurriedly carried Emma to the bed.
She didn’t come to, as he’d hoped. Thoroughly panicked now, he grabbed the phone and called the doctor’s office. His sense of urgency had the nurse passing the phone to the doctor at once.
“Steve, Emma passed out!” After a deep breath, he added, “She’s not coming to.”
“What happened?” his friend asked, his voice clipped.
Ryan didn’t want to answer that question, but he had no choice. “She left the ranch. I came to take her back and we…argued.”
“I’ll be right there. You’re at her apartment? Give me directions.”
As soon as he hung up the phone, Ryan went back to check on Andrea, who was whimpering. He picked her up and carried her back into Emma’s bedroom.
The bedroom where she’d been created.
Emma, her face pale, lay on the bed, not moving.
“Dear God, please let her be all right.”
When he’d lost his wife and child, even though he’d felt guilty for surviving, he knew he’d done nothing to harm them. But now he knew that Emma’s condition, whatever it was, was entirely his fault.
He cuddled the baby by Emma’s side as he waited for the doctor. When he heard steps on the stairs he hurried to open the door.
“Where is she?” Steve demanded, not stopping.
“The room on the left,” Ryan pointed out, on his heels.
Steve immediately took a small vial out and broke it, waving it beneath Emma’s nose. Her eyelids fluttered. Then she finally opened them, and Ryan gave a sigh of relief.
Steve’s voice gentled. “Emma, how are you?”
“I—don’t know. Ryan—Ryan threatened to take Andrea!” she shrieked, trying to rise before she flopped back down on the bed.
“I’m here, Emma. Andrea’s here, too.”
Steve stared at him.
“She left the house today, and it’s too soon. She can’t take care of herself, much less the baby,” he explained to Steve.
“Why did you leave, Emma?” Steve asked gently.
“I don’t want to be there. I know when I’m not wanted,” she said, big tears rolling down her face. “Please don’t let him take my baby.”
Her pitiful plea made Ryan feel like a brute. “I couldn’t let the two of them try it on their own. Not yet,” he insisted, trying to justify his behavior.
“Emma says you don’t want her there,” Steve pointed out.
“That’s ridiculous. I’ve done everything I can to make sure she’s taken care of.”
“Have you argued with her?”
“No! At least, not until now,” Ryan assured him.
“He ignores us. He pretends we don’t exist,” Emma whispered. “I had to stay in places like that when I was a child, but I don’t now. My child will always be wanted!”
Steve looked at Ryan, waiting for his response, as if he were watching a tennis match.
“I thought that’s what you wanted!” Ryan roared. “You didn’t want me to touch either of you. Just to stay out of your way!”
Emma said nothing, turning her head away.
Ryan looked at Steve, at a loss as to what he should say or do.
After staring at him, Steve said, “Emma, if Ryan promises to do a better job of making you feel welcome, would you go back to the ranch for a couple of more weeks? Would you give him a chance?”
Ryan panicked. He was afraid Emma would refuse. And afraid she would accept. Make her feel more welcome? He’d had Billy watch over the two of them. He’d hired Maria for around-the-clock care. What else could he do?
His blood ran cold as he realized the only other thing he could give her was himself. His company, his personal services. She’d hate that.
“He’d hate that,” she whispered, still not looking at either him or Steve.
“Ryan?” Steve prodded.
He took a deep breath. “No, I—I wouldn’t hate it. I was trying to do what I thought you wanted.”
She closed her eyes and said nothing. Not exactly an enthusiastic endorsement.
“Emma, I promise I’ll change. I don’t hate your being there. I’ve—I’ve been checking on you every night. And—and I look at Andy while she sleeps.” He took a deep breath. “I just want the two of you safe.”
“I think you’ll be better off if you give yourself a couple more weeks to heal,” Steve said. “It wasn’t easy here on your own, was it?”
After hesitating, Emma shook her head no.
“Why don’t you let Ryan stay here tonight and take care of you two? Then, in the morning, he can take you home. That okay with you, Ryan?”
Ryan managed to swallow the protest that rose up. Stay here? In Emma’s apartment, where they’d shared such pleasurable moments? But he had no choice. “Please, Emma?”
“Are you sure?” she asked, turning to look at him.
Her hazel eyes darkened with the emotion she was feeling. She wiped her wet cheeks as she waited for him to answer her.
There was only one answer. “I’m sure.”
“Then, I guess…okay.”
Steve stood. “Good girl. Get some rest now. It looks like Andrea has already gone to sleep.” He tucked the covers around her, then motioned for Ryan to precede him out of the room.
“Don’t you want to put Andrea in her crib?” Steve asked.
“No. I will in a minute.” He didn’t want to give up the warm bundle. Holding her made him feel better.
“You
’re getting a second chance, friend,” Steve said, staring at him. “Can you handle it? You can’t just shut the two of them out, pretend they don’t exist.”
Ryan couldn’t discuss his fears even with Steve. So he nodded. Then he thanked his friend for his quick response.
“No problem. But I’ve got to get back to the office. I’ve got patients waiting.”
After Steve left, Ryan tiptoed into the baby’s room to tuck Andrea into the crib, then he stood beside it, staring at the baby.
He’d known he was getting too attached to Andy. Each night, as he’d stood by the bed, watching the baby sleep, he’d told himself he was just checking on her, but he’d known, whether he admitted it or not, that he’d fallen for Andy.
He also knew that spending time with Emma was going to cost him some heartache, too. But he had no choice.
He’d done his best to protect Merilee and Ryan, Jr. He could do no less for Emma and Andy. It didn’t mean he’d love them. But he’d protect them, whatever the cost.
Andrea’s cry awoke him hours later. He was sleeping on Emma’s uncomfortable couch, and he rolled to his feet to see about the baby. As he got to the nursery, he remembered Emma had insisted he leave Andrea in her bed, so he didn’t have to get up again.
He stepped to Emma’s door, having left it open so he’d hear if she called. In the shadows, he stared at Emma, with Andrea already nursing. It was a beautiful picture, the loving mother feeding her child.
He knew she’d be upset if she realized he was watching, but he didn’t think she could see him. Besides, all her attention was focused on her child. Their child.
He’d told his parents that they couldn’t come over because Emma had had a setback. He didn’t mention that her setback was that she’d run away because he had ignored her.
He knew Emma wouldn’t complain to them. She’d never demanded anything of him. She wouldn’t have this time if she hadn’t been forced to agree to return. She’d been prepared to handle everything herself.
He shook his head. She was a strong, determined woman. Merilee had been strong, too, but she’d always wanted her way. She’d always wanted his attention.
Feeling guilty for even thinking such things about his wife, he backed away from the door so he couldn’t see Emma and Andrea. He needed his sleep. In the morning he’d take the pair back to the ranch. And tomorrow night his parents would visit.
Newborn Daddy (The Baby Secret) Page 5
