Newborn Daddy (The Baby Secret)

by Judy Christenberry

  “That’s my girl,” Billy said, a big grin on his face. “I made pot roast. Lots of iron. Good vegetables, too.”

  He quickly brought the dishes to the table and they all ate. Emma had noticed before that there wasn’t a lot of conversation at the dinner table. Everyone on the ranch worked hard and didn’t waste time when it came to eating.

  It didn’t take long for Emma’s appetite to dwindle, and she sat silently, watching the other two eat. She’d like to go back to bed, but she knew they would protest and stop eating themselves.

  Ryan happened to look up and noticed her hands folded together on the table.

  “Why aren’t you eating?”

  “I have eaten, and it was delicious.” She smiled at Billy.

  “You need to eat more.”

  She stiffened at his dictatorial tones, then forced her shoulders to relax. “My appetite is small right now. It will grow, though. Then I’ll have to go on a diet.”

  His gaze roved over her body, and she could almost feel his touch, sending shivers all over her. “I doubt that. When you were pregnant—” he broke off and looked away “—did you gain a lot of weight?” he finally asked.

  She didn’t want to talk about her pregnancy, but it was an innocent question. “I was sick a lot, throwing up, so no, I didn’t gain much weight.”

  “Is that why Andrea is so small?” he asked.

  She stiffened again. “I did the best I could.”

  “I didn’t mean—I wasn’t criticizing you!” Ryan hurriedly said. “It’s just that Jackson is a lot bigger.”

  Emma sighed. “She came two weeks early. I think it was because of my high blood pressure. It couldn’t have been the diabetes.”

  “You’re diabetic?” Billy asked in alarm. “But I baked a cake.”

  “I had gestational diabetes, Billy. I’m fine now. They checked me before I left the hospital,” she explained hurriedly.

  With a frown on his face, he said, “That’s good. But I’ll watch what I cook from now on. I can find some sugar-free recipes and—”

  “Billy, I’m fine. Neither of you needs to worry about me. I’m getting stronger all the time. And you’re both being perfect gentlemen about having me shoved on you. I appreciate it.” She looked at Ryan, understanding how hard he was trying to do what he’d promised.

  If anything, he was overdoing it. She didn’t want to make him miserable. And Billy was just as bad.

  “You’re not causing any problems,” Ryan assured her. “Can’t you eat a little more roast?”

  With exasperation, she refused. “No. I’m saving room for Billy’s cake.”

  Both men opened their mouths, and she held up a hand. “Not a word. I’m fine. In fact, Billy, I could go ahead and start on the dishes. I know you want them cleared away before our company comes.” She tried to make sure she didn’t give away how nervous she was, but her voice trembled a little.

  “You touch a dish and I’ll tan your hide,” Billy returned, surprising her.

  Emma couldn’t resist teasing him. “And you complained about Ryan’s behavior? At least he didn’t threaten to beat me.”

  “Aw, Emma, I was just teasing. But you don’t need to be doing my job,” Billy protested earnestly.

  “And there’s nothing to make you nervous about my parents’ visit, honey. They mostly want to see the baby. My mother loves babies,” Ryan added.

  Obviously she hadn’t fooled him.

  “Of course,” she said, looking away. His blue eyes showed concern, and she had to fight the desire to believe he really cared about her.

  As the two men finished, the phone rang.

  Ryan answered it. By the brief conversation, Emma knew the caller was his mother. When he hung up the phone, he confirmed her suspicion. “That was Mom. They’ll be here in a few minutes.”

  “I’ll get started on the dishes and making that coffee,” Billy said. “Take Emma into the den so she can relax.”

  “Now who’s the dictator?” Ryan asked before he scooped Emma into his arms.

  “I can walk.”

  “Save your energy for visiting,” he told her.

  Which only made her more nervous.

  Ryan heard a car outside and stood. Emma flashed a look at him, panic in her hazel eyes.

  He’d tried to reassure her. In actuality, she had less to worry about than he did. His parents wanted to “talk” after they saw the baby. He knew the “talk” would be an examination of his intentions.

  He was having enough trouble with Steve’s instructions. Not that being friendly to Emma was hard. Just by her quiet, undemanding behavior, her soft beauty, her smile, she invited kindness. He could handle kindness. He wasn’t normally a mean person.

  But it also meant opening up. Exposing his weaknesses. One of his weaknesses was the yearning he felt for Emma. He’d been able to keep the wanting at bay after she’d left because he’d shut everything about Emma Davenport out of his mind.

  He couldn’t do that when he had to share his home, his time, even his thoughts, with her.

  “Anybody home?” he heard his mother call.

  “Wait here,” he ordered and hurried to the kitchen.

  “Hi, Mom, Dad,” he said and hugged his parents. He’d missed them since they’d moved. “Glad you’re back home.”

  “We’re thrilled to be back, especially for such happy reasons. Where are Emma and the baby?” his mother demanded, her face eager.

  “Emma’s in the den. Come on in and say hi. Then I’ll see if Andy is ready for her debut.”

  “Beth says she’s little,” Leigh Nix said even as she followed Ryan into the other room.

  Billy was fixing a tray of cake and coffee, after having greeted the couple. “She’s perfect!” he exclaimed, frowning. “Sweetest little thing you’ve ever seen.”

  Ryan cleared his throat. “She’s smaller than Jackson, but Emma said she came a little early.”

  He stood back when they reached the den, carefully watching his parents’ reactions to Emma. Leigh sailed past him, her arms extended for a hug with Emma. His father followed her and bent down and kissed Emma’s cheeks after his wife had hugged her.

  Emma appeared stunned by their friendliness, but Ryan wasn’t surprised. His parents were good people. It wasn’t Emma who was going to have to have a “talk.”

  “Ryan, can you go see if Andrea can visit?” his mother asked eagerly. “My first granddaughter! Why, I don’t even know her complete name!” She looked at Emma expectantly.

  Emma stared at Ryan, saying nothing.

  He knew what was wrong. She didn’t want to say Andy’s middle name after he’d accused her of trying to get his mother on her side. “Emma named her Andrea Leigh. Mostly we call her Andy.”

  “You named her after me?” Leigh Nix asked, startled.

  “I hope you don’t mind. You’re her only grandmother, and I—I wanted her to feel she had a family.”

  Though his parents had met Emma when they were dating, during a visit they’d made in the summer, they didn’t really know much about her. His father asked, “Is your own mother dead?”

  Emma raised her chin slightly and said, “I don’t know. I was abandoned at birth.”

  His parents turned to stare at Ryan, as if asking why he hadn’t prepared them. He shrugged his shoulders.

  “So you were adopted?” Leigh asked.

  Emma shook her head. “I was sick when I was a baby. Afterwards, I—I was never chosen.” She paused, then said, “I apologize for not letting Ryan…and you…know about Andrea until now, but I had a difficult pregnancy and I didn’t have the strength to deal with much of anything.”

  It was his father who responded. He had sat down on the couch with his wife, near Emma, and he reached over to pat her hand. “We understand. Ryan said you had a hard time. Are you feeling better now?”

  Emma’s lips trembled as she tried to smile. “I’m getting stronger. I hope I’ll be able to manage on my own in a couple of weeks, so I won’t have
to take advantage of Ryan’s generosity.”

  It was time to change the subject before his parents said more than they should. “I’ll see if Andy is awake. Mom, you want to help me?”

  He’d known that would get his mother’s attention. He only hoped his father wouldn’t say anything.

  Emma was overwhelmed by the kindness of Ryan’s parents. If someone had kept her grandchild from her, she wouldn’t have been as tolerant.

  She watched Ryan and his mother hurry from the room. When she flicked a look at Mr. Nix, she hurriedly looked away. She didn’t know what to say.

  “Don’t worry about Ryan taking care of you, Emma,” he said quietly. “That’s his responsibility.”

  “No,” she said, raising her chin. “He didn’t ask for—for a child. He doesn’t want a family. I’ll take care of my child.”

  Before he could respond, Leigh Nix came into the room, holding Andrea in her arms.

  “Oh, Joe, look at the little darling! She’s so delicate, so beautiful. And she has hair! Jackson doesn’t have much at all.”

  Emma avoided Ryan’s gaze and kept hers on her child. Not that she didn’t trust Ryan’s folks with her child. She did. But it was a new experience to share her baby with them.

  Andy stretched as Leigh sat down with her. Then she slowly opened her eyes. Leigh gasped. “I think she has blue eyes! Don’t you, Joe?”

  Emma felt a nudge of resentment. It was as if they were cataloguing proof that Andy was Ryan’s child.

  “But she definitely has your hair, Emma,” Joe Nix said. “It’s much darker than Ryan’s. Why, when he was born he was blond.”

  Emma tried to smile, but she was growing more tense by the moment. “Yes,” she murmured.

  At the sound of her voice, the baby turned her head toward Emma.

  “Look! She already recognizes your voice, Emma. Oh, my, she’s such a darling,” Leigh exclaimed.

  Billy entered with the dessert and coffee he’d prepared. “So, she’s up, is she?” he asked, grinning. “She’s such a good baby.”

  “Are you taking care of her, Billy?” Joe asked. “Do you have any help?”

  “Maria, Tommy’s wife, has been coming over every day,” Ryan hurriedly assured his parents. “At first, she stayed twenty-four hours a day, but now she goes home before dinner.” He didn’t mention that their new schedule was only in its first day.

  Emma kept quiet. She decided the less she said, the better. Besides, all the tension was exhausting her energy. She longed to go to bed, taking her baby with her.

  “She seems so tiny,” Leigh said, unwrapping her blanket to examine every inch of her grandchild. “Especially compared to Jackson. Is she gaining weight?” she asked Emma.

  “Yes, she has a good appetite. She’s gained almost four ounces above her birth weight.” She knew that didn’t sound like much but the doctor had assured her that was good. But she’d forgotten she was talking to an experienced mother.

  “Oh, that’s excellent. Jackson hasn’t been eating as well. That’s more than he’s gained.”

  “Is Beth all right?” Emma asked, concern in her voice. “She seemed to be doing well at the hospital.”

  “Oh, she’s doing fine. And Jackson is now, too. Steve said some babies have to adjust to breast-feeding. You are breast-feeding, too, aren’t you? It’s much better for the baby, you know.”

  Emma nodded, but Ryan said, “Mom, Emma is a great mother.”

  “Of course, dear,” Leigh returned. “But some new mothers prefer to use bottles. I just wondered.”

  Emma swallowed and tried to sit up straighter. She was feeling her energy drain away.

  “My wife didn’t mean any criticism, Emma,” Joe said gently. “In fact, we don’t have any questions about how things have gone so far. Our main question is—when is the wedding?”

  Emma stared at the man before her gaze flickered to Ryan’s face. He didn’t seem surprised by his father’s question.

  “Mr. Nix, I—” she started, feeling it was her fault Ryan had been put in this position.

  “Dad, can we discuss this later? Emma is tired. Let me get her settled while you enjoy the cake Billy made. Then I’ll come back and we can…talk.”

  He sounded like he intended to tuck her in bed, like it was something he did every night. Emma stared at him, longing for bed but afraid to leave him alone to face his parents’ questions.

  “No, I need to explain to your parents that we’re not getting married,” she said hurriedly. “I don’t expect—”

  Joe Nix interrupted. “Well, you damn well should!”

  Chapter Seven

  A strained silence followed Joe’s roar.

  Then to Emma’s surprise, Ryan strode to the sofa, scooped her into his arms and walked out of the room.

  “Ryan, what are you doing? We have to explain to your parents that we’re not getting married,” she said, trying to remain stiff in his strong arms.

  “They’re my parents. You don’t have to explain anything. I’ll take care of it.”

  She could tell he was upset. She was, too. He’d made it clear she wasn’t—and never would be—a part of his family. Fair enough. He’d made it clear she wasn’t wanted. Her foolish heart never seemed to give up, however.

  You have a family now, she reminded herself. You and Andrea are a family. That’s enough. It would have to be. “I’m sorry to cause you so much grief. When I move away—”

  He lowered her to the bed. “Don’t worry about it, honey. Just get some rest. You’re trying to do too much too soon.”

  She pressed her lips together and looked away from him. “Andy. I’ll probably need to feed her soon.”

  “When she’s ready, I’ll bring her in. I think my mother would like to hold her as long as she can. Is that all right?”

  She appreciated his asking instead of demanding. With a nod, she tried smiling. It probably wasn’t her best effort, but she really was tired.

  He surprised her even more by bending over and kissing her cheek.

  She stared as he hurried out of the room. Casual caresses were a rare occurrence in her life. Even when they’d been sleeping together, Ryan hadn’t touched her unless they were making love—having sex.

  It wouldn’t be that way for Andy, she vowed, cradling her cheek in her hand. She’d store up memories of these rare moments with Ryan before she left. She’d make sure Andy felt her love in kisses and hugs, even if it was just the two of them.

  With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes, still touching the skin where Ryan’s lips had been.

  Ryan returned to the den, angry with his parents. He hadn’t wanted them to upset Emma. He’d known he’d have to explain what was going on—as much as he could—but Emma wasn’t used to family dynamics. She wasn’t well enough for arguments, even though she’d tried.

  Billy was still in the den, talking to his parents when he came in. But all conversation stopped and the three of them stared at him.

  “What’s going on here, son?” Joe asked, irritation in his voice. “Emma’s a lady. How could you treat her that way?”

  He’d known his father would condemn his behavior. Hell, he did himself. He sat down and cleared his throat. “I know I shouldn’t have—Emma and I had—I didn’t know she was pregnant.”

  “You can’t tell when a woman’s about to give birth?” his father asked, his voice rising.

  “Not if I haven’t seen her for seven months!” he snapped in return.

  That response stopped the conversation.

  Then his mother, with a frown, said, “We were here last September, and Beth introduced me to Emma. I was so happy you’d finally adjusted to Merilee and Ryan, Jr.’s deaths. When did you stop seeing Emma? And why?”

  Billy stood up. “I’ll take this stuff to the kitchen,” he said, waving to the dirty dishes. “Anyone need more coffee?”

  “Chicken,” Ryan muttered under his breath. Not that he thought Billy could deter his parents’ criticism. Or would even want to. He wa
s definitely fond of Emma.

  His parents said nothing as Billy gathered the dirty dishes and hurried from the room.

  Ryan looked at his parents. Then he clasped his hands between his legs, his arms resting on his knees, and began his confession.

  “I’m not proud of what I did. But I didn’t intend to hurt Emma. We—became friends. I sensed a loneliness in her that matched my own. We’d have dinner together a couple of times a week and talk. Then one night I went back to her apartment to talk more. And—one thing led to another.”

  He drew a deep breath, sneaking a look at his parents. Their expressions were unreadable. He dropped his gaze to the floor again. “I was shocked by what had happened. I’d never intended—Merilee was still in my heart. But what I had with Emma was—good. So I didn’t stop.”

  “Understandable,” his father muttered.

  “Yeah, well, early October, Emma came out to the ranch on a Saturday. We had dinner together and were going to watch a movie. She seemed a little edgy, which was unusual. When I questioned her, she suggested we live together, have a family.”

  He couldn’t sit still and explain his despicable behavior. He rose and began to pace the floor. “I knew then I’d made a huge mistake. I fell apart, yelling at her that I’d never have another family. That I loved Merilee, that Ryan, Jr. had been the light of my life. No one could replace either of them.” He drew another deep breath. “I was cruel, but I didn’t intend to be. I just lost control. She ran away.”

  “Did you apologize?” Leigh asked softly.

  He shook his head and stared out into the night. “I know I should’ve, but I was afraid she’d believe I would change my mind. I rationalized it would be better for her to move on, to find someone else, because she really is—special.”

  “But surely you saw her around town, noticed she’d gained weight, at least,” his mother said.

  “It was winter. Everyone was bundled up. I never went back to the library. I saw her from a distance, once or twice, but mostly I avoided going into town. I asked Beth about her, because they’d been friends, but Beth had only seen her once, right after our—talk. She said Emma had refused to continue their friendship.”