Newborn Daddy (The Baby Secret)

by Judy Christenberry

  Fed by that vision of the future, he turned and took the stairs two at a time. After he cleaned up, he’d check on Andy, even if he couldn’t check on Emma, which he most wanted to do.

  When he came down fifteen minutes later, he headed for Andy’s room, but he found it empty. Stepping across the hall, he put his ear against the door. Emma’s soft voice, talking to her baby, confirmed his guess. Andy was having dinner.

  He remembered the nights in Emma’s bed, that same voice wrapping around him, filling him. Her low, musical tones wove a magic that seduced him as much as her body.

  And would do so again. Just as soon as he told her his decision. Oh, they couldn’t have sex for a while. He remembered after Merilee gave birth. She’d not only wanted more time, she’d demanded he wait on her hand and foot before she let him back into her bed.

  He grinned now, but at the time, he’d been a little miffed. But Emma was generous. She reached out—as she had last fall. Andy was a lucky little girl to have Emma for a mama.

  The kitchen door swung open and his father stuck his head into the hall and yelled, “Ryan? Dinner’s ready!”

  Ryan jumped a foot, hoping to disguise what he’d been doing. “Uh, I’m here, Dad. I was checking on Andy.”

  His father looked at the closed door beside Ryan. “Uh-huh. We heard Andy, and your mother went to check on her. Emma said they’d be in as soon as she fed her.”

  “Oh. Uh, okay, I’m coming.” Like he had a choice. It was embarrassing to be discovered hanging around a closed door, like a bird waiting for a worm to come out of its hole.

  Beth, with Jackson in her arms, had joined his family, Ryan noted when he reached the kitchen. He greeted his sister and touched Jackson’s head. He was a handsome boy, but Andy was beautiful, he thought with pride.

  “Is Emma ready yet?” Leigh asked as she carried a platter of steak over to the table.

  “I don’t think so. I didn’t want to disturb her so I didn’t knock.”

  “I’ll check on her. Oh, Ryan, we have a lovely surprise for after dinner.” Then she left the kitchen.

  Ryan frowned. “What’s she talking about, Billy? A new dessert?”

  Billy didn’t look at him, pretending to be too busy at the oven. “Uh, no.”

  His cook was a good man, straightforward. What was going on?

  “Beth, what’s Mom talking about?” he asked.

  “I’m not telling. If I did, it wouldn’t be a surprise.” She didn’t look at him either, keeping her gaze fixed on her son.

  Was he overreacting? Could Billy be too busy to face him? Did Jackson demand his mother’s attention? He heard footsteps coming back down the hall.

  When his mother entered, Emma, with Andrea in her arms, was right behind her. Ryan hurried to her side, reaching out to touch his daughter. Her eyes were open and he’d swear Andy looked at him.

  At least someone had, because Emma never looked up.

  Ryan’s appetite, usually large after being in the saddle all day, gradually disappeared. His mother was bright and chatty. Emma was completely silent.

  Something was wrong. Had his mother hurt Emma’s feelings? Was Emma going to run away again? What had happened?

  He couldn’t get any answers.

  “Billy, could I have some more iced tea?” Emma asked. She was still holding Andy, in spite of his mother’s offer to take her.

  Billy jumped up from the table and hurried to the counter where a pitcher of tea waited.

  Ryan took the opportunity to insist on taking Andy. “I’ll hold her while you finish your dinner, Emma. I’m through.”

  She took a quick look at his plate. Then she looked at him for the first time since he’d come into the house. “You didn’t eat much.”

  “I guess I’m too excited about Mom’s surprise.”

  Emma’s face paled, much as it had in the hospital, and she looked upset.

  “Emma, what’s wrong? Do you hurt somewhere? Should we call Steve?” Ryan demanded, bending toward her.

  Without a word, a hand covering her mouth, Emma ran from the kitchen.

  Ryan was stunned. But he jumped up to follow her, the baby still in his arms.

  “Ryan, wait!” his mother ordered.

  He spun around, staring at her. “Why? What’s going on? Did you upset Emma?”

  “She’s—she’s not upset. Not really. Everything’s going to be fine.”

  “Mom,” Beth said softly, “I don’t think we should.”

  Leigh’s jaw clenched. “I do. It’s important.”

  Joe Nix stared at his wife. “What are you up to, Leigh? You’re not interfering again, are you?”

  “I’m doing what has to be done, Joe Nix!”

  Ryan stood holding his child, trying to decide whether he should go after Emma first, or try to figure out what was going on, when the kitchen door opened again and Emma entered the kitchen.

  “I—I came back to get Andy,” she said with determination. “I’m finished eating, so—”

  “So why don’t you tell me why you’re upset?” Ryan said, not handing his daughter over. “What has my mother done that upset you?”

  Emma wanted to shrink to ant size, so she could scurry out of the kitchen without anyone noticing. In spite of her protests, the day was swiftly descending into hell. And it was all her fault.

  She’d confessed to Leigh and Beth that she’d found the albums and had been looking at the family pictures. Instead of anger, she’d been met with enthusiasm. The two ladies were eager to look, too.

  Emma had been relieved and gladly shared the treasure she’d found. Leigh and Beth had taken turns telling tales about their family. Even Ryan’s wedding pictures, with the beautiful Merilee, and the early pictures of him and his wife, their precious little boy in their arms, were talked about.

  Emma had showed Leigh the stacks of pictures made the last year before the accident and asked her if Ryan would mind if she filled the last album with them, so they wouldn’t get damaged.

  Leigh had thought it was a good idea, and the three of them had spent the afternoon doing it. Emma knew Ryan wouldn’t appreciate her action now, but in later years perhaps he would. Family albums were such treasures.

  Then Leigh had dropped her bombshell.

  They would stay for dinner, with their husbands joining them, and they’d spend the evening looking at all the pictures.

  Just thinking about Ryan’s anger and heartsickness made Emma ill. She’d protested. She’d pleaded. But Leigh was adamant. Ryan had to face his past before he could build a future.

  “It’s unnatural to mourn anyone as long as Ryan has. Merilee was a good person, but she had her faults as much as anyone. Ryan has turned her into a saint.”

  Beth tried to intervene. “I know you’re right, Mom, but are you sure tonight is a good night? Ryan’s not going to like it.”

  “I think we should’ve faced the past before. We’ve let him hide. Tonight, we’re going to talk about that sweet little boy and the happiness they shared.”

  Then she got up and headed for the kitchen to consult with Billy.

  Emma had covered her face with her hands. “He’s going to hate me even more than he does.”

  “Oh, Emma, he doesn’t hate you. He couldn’t!” Beth had exclaimed.

  Emma took down her hands, her face tragic. She whispered, “He hates what I’ve done to him. He didn’t want a new child, a new family.”

  Beth reached out to take Emma’s hand. “Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants? Maybe Mom’s right?”

  After hearing Beth’s words, a tiny flame of hope had burned in Emma’s heart all afternoon. But now Ryan hadn’t even found out what was about to happen and he was angry. His mother had been wrong. Emma wanted to run away.

  But not without her baby.

  “I want Andy,” she said, squaring her shoulders and looking at him.

  “You can have her after you tell me what’s wrong.”

  “You can’t hold her hostage!” Emma proteste
d.

  Before Ryan could respond, his father stood. “Son, let Emma have her baby. Your mother is going to tell us what’s going on. Aren’t you, Leigh?”

  Since his words sounded more like an order than a suggestion, Emma wasn’t surprised when Leigh agreed.

  “Of course, I’ll be glad to tell you. Billy, let’s clear off the table. We can have dessert later. Then I’ll show you the surprise.” She paused and looked at Emma. “I want you to stay, Emma, please?”

  Emma nodded, feeling she had no choice. If she’d gone about her business, as she’d intended, and checked out the books, none of this would’ve happened. So she should be here, a target for Ryan’s anger, because it was her fault.

  Holding out her hands for Andrea, she tucked the baby on her shoulder and sat down.

  Ryan knew something was wrong. He was getting a sick feeling in his gut that he didn’t like at all. Emma was still pale, and he felt sure she’d lost her dinner a few minutes ago. Now, although she appeared composed, her face remained pale, and she refused to look at anyone.

  All her attention was trained on Andy, who was almost ready to go to sleep.

  Billy wiped the table down, then he and Leigh left the room with instructions for everyone to wait right there.

  Ryan saw Jack and Beth whispering. Then Jack got an alarmed look on his face, and his gaze flew to Ryan before he quickly looked away. Ryan straightened his shoulders. Whatever was coming wouldn’t be pleasant. He knew Jack, trusted his judgment. The fact that he thought this surprise was going to be a disaster worried Ryan.

  The door swung open and Leigh entered to put three large albums on the table. Billy carried five.

  “Today, Beth and Emma and I had a wonderful time going through the family albums. I thought it would be fun for the rest of you to share, too. Do you remember when you fell in that mud puddle, Ryan, and I got my camera and took a picture? It’s so funny!”

  Ryan sat, frozen, unable to believe his mother was doing this to him. Everyone was watching. Emma was sitting beside him, holding his child. His second child. And his mother wanted him to look at pictures of his first child and his beloved wife.

  That was the point of this exercise.

  He stood.

  “No!” he protested harshly, his voice rough with emotion. “I can’t do this.”

  “Joe?” Leigh pleaded to her husband, even as she blocked the door out of the kitchen.

  His father stared at his wife. Then he shifted his gaze to his son. Ryan saw the love and concern in his father’s eyes. His parents had been wonderful when the accident had occurred. They’d stayed with him, helped him through the agony. He respected his parents.

  But he couldn’t do this.

  “Son, I think your mother has a point. You’ve hidden from life for too long.”

  Betrayal flooded him. He couldn’t believe his father thought this torture was a good idea. “No! You can’t expect me to—to—”

  “To go on living?” Joe said softly, staring at him. “You’ve sacrificed too many years already. Now you’ve got a chance for a new life.”

  “No!” Ryan shouted again, each time his voice louder, more stressed. “I can’t relive that agony. I can’t—I can’t do this!” Though he felt like a coward, he knew his limitations. Rather than face his mother, he turned and charged through the back door, out of the house.

  Emma sat at the table, her head bowed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  She’d known he would be hurt. And she’d let it happen. Had caused it to happen. He would never forgive her.

  But then, he would never forgive her for Andy, either. She hugged her baby tighter against her. He might regret their child’s birth. But she didn’t and never would.

  She shoved away from the table and headed for the door. But Leigh was still there and put her hands on Emma’s shoulders.

  “Emma, darling, don’t cry. Please don’t cry,” Leigh pleaded, hugging her close.

  Emma had never expected to feel a mother’s touch from Leigh Nix. But that was exactly what she’d gotten. It shocked her. She looked at the woman, gratitude mixed with sorrow. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured.

  Joe Nix came around the table and heard her words. “What do you have to be sorry for, Emma?”

  “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have looked at the albums, but—but I’ve never had—without a family there isn’t much need of albums. I-If I hadn’t been looking at them, this—” she waved one hand toward the table “—wouldn’t have happened. Ryan wouldn’t be angry.”

  Joe took her from Leigh’s embrace and wrapped his big burly arms around her. “None of this is your fault. You didn’t do anything bad. You’ve given us a beautiful granddaughter, and you’ve shared her with us.”

  Emma sniffed against his chest. She wished she could feel those protective arms forever. It must be how a child feels when her father consoles her. With him on her side, she knows she can take on the world. A feeling Andy would never have.

  She couldn’t indulge herself for long. She’d grow too weak. Backing out of his embrace, she said, “I—I have to go. Ryan won’t want me here when he comes back.”

  Everyone in the room protested, but Emma couldn’t face Ryan again.

  Shaking her head, hugging Andrea tightly, she didn’t try to argue with them. She hurried to her room.

  Ryan stood at the corral, his arms resting on the top rail, his head bent in sadness. How could his family be so cruel? They’d supported him when Merilee and Ryan, Jr., had died. Why had they turned on him now?

  “Feeling sorry for yourself?” his father asked quietly.

  Ryan spun around, almost losing his balance. “You haven’t tortured me enough?” he shouted.

  His father strolled over to the corral and leaned against it beside him. “Yeah, looking at pictures is the last word in torture these days.”

  “You’re making fun of me now? Better you take a knife and stab me. Let me die!”

  “Okay,” his father calmly agreed and Ryan stared at him. What was wrong with his father tonight? Had he gone crazy?

  “And we’ll keep a close eye on Emma and Andy. ‘Course, we’ll be going back to Florida in a few days, but we’ll send them Christmas presents and birthday cards each year. That’ll probably make them feel okay.”

  Ryan’s heart clutched. He hadn’t been thinking about Emma or Andy. He admitted he’d only been thinking of himself. Of his loss. Of his pain.

  “I’ll take care of them,” he said stonily, his face wiped clean of emotion. He wasn’t going to tell his father again how much he was hurting him.

  “Might be hard to do,” his father said, shrugging. “Seems Emma blames herself for what happened tonight and she’s inside packing.”

  Chapter Ten

  Ryan whirled around, ready to charge to the house and stop Emma’s departure. This time he’d nip her disappearing act in the bud. She was being ridiculous.

  His father caught him by the arm, pulling him to a halt. “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to stop Emma. She’s not ready to be out on her own. Anybody can see that!” he snapped.

  “So you’re going to march in there and tell her she can’t go?”

  “That’s right.”

  “What gives you the right to keep her here?”

  He didn’t like his father’s question. “I’m the father, remember?”

  “So I’ve heard. But you’re not the husband. Jack said you’ll have to go to court to get visitation rights if Emma wants to be difficult.”

  “Emma wouldn’t—it doesn’t matter. We’re going to get married. I was going to tell her tonight. If you hadn’t interfered, everything would be settled by now.” He heard his so-there attitude in his voice and felt ashamed. “I don’t mean you weren’t welcome, but I intend to do the responsible thing.”

  His father put his hand on his shoulder. “Son, we never doubted for a minute that you’d be responsible.”

  That sentiment should’ve felt good,
but something wasn’t right. “If you trusted me, what was tonight all about?” he asked.

  “It was about your being happy.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You’ve mourned Merilee’s and the baby’s deaths for a long time. That’s understandable. It was a shocking loss. But you need to put it behind you if you’re going to be happy.”

  “I told you I’m going to marry her!” Ryan snapped, tired of his father’s words.

  “When you proposed to Merilee, did you tell her what she was going to do?”

  His father’s question didn’t make sense. “Of course not! She had a mind of her own, and she wasn’t above making me pay a price,” he said, his mind going back to the night he proposed, a grin on his face.

  “What makes you think Emma is any less deserving of a real proposal?”

  “This is different!” Ryan roared, not liking what he was hearing.

  “How?”

  “There’s a baby involved, my baby. Emma shouldn’t have to bear the responsibility by herself.”

  “I agree. I know you’ll offer child support. But Emma seems to be independent. Probably because she hasn’t had anyone to rely on in her life. I doubt she’ll accept a demand to marry.”

  “She will. Family is important to Emma. She wants Andy to have the best. Of course she’ll accept.” His father’s words were eroding his confidence. He had everything planned. Of course it would work out. He was sure of it. His father had to be wrong.

  Like he always was?

  His father was always right. It had irritated Ryan when he was a teenager, cocky, ready to conquer the world. Then he’d matured and appreciated his father’s experience and wisdom.

  But this time he was wrong. And Ryan was going to show him just how wrong he was. “She’s going to be pleased. And I’m going to tell her right now.” He shrugged off his father’s hand and headed for the house.

  Joe Nix stood there in the darkness, wryly grinning. He didn’t think his son’s approach was going to work, but for the first time in a long time, Joe hoped he was wrong.

  Both Leigh and Beth tried to talk Emma out of leaving.