Sugar Moon (Vermonters Forever)

by Ali Dean

  I was so deep in thought I didn’t notice I was next in line until the barista, Valerie, greeted me. “Heeeeeeey Tanner. You look nice.”

  I glanced down and remembered I was still in my wedding performance clothes from last night. My neck heated. “Thanks. Can I get a cappuccino please?”

  “Large?”

  I nodded and pulled out my wallet, grateful for the excuse to break eye contact as I inserted my credit card into the machine.

  I liked Valerie just fine, but I could see she’d figured out I’d had sex last night since I was in the same clothes I’d performed in. And since she was thinking about me having sex, she was undressing me with her eyes. It was even more uncomfortable than the restlessness that started crawling under my skin after two full days without writing.

  As I waited for my cappuccino, the door swung open and the Charlie Ashley effect hit as soon as I recognized the dark hair swinging in a high ponytail. I let myself soak in the slow-motion video that seemed to play out every time I came in contact with her. It had started years ago, and there it was again, the sound muffled like in a movie, as I took in her tan legs in little black spandex shorts, a grey athletic top, and a face I’d memorized. Full red lips, cheekbones that always seemed to be rosy, even though she never wore makeup, dark eyelashes and thick eyebrows framing her eyes. Those eyes, they made it hard to breathe, a deep blue that turned nearly purple in the right sunlight. As soon as the noise came back and the slow-mo video stopped, my eyes dropped to my feet.

  My heart was pounding too fast, and I was wide awake now without any caffeine assistance.

  I didn’t understand this infatuation that had started years ago and had only gotten worse. I felt like I was under some sort of spell.

  Charlie was three years younger than me. Since we’d grown up in the same town, and three years as kids is a lot, it took some time before I saw her as a woman. She’d gone to college at the University of Vermont like me, and it was a big enough school our paths didn’t cross much. It must have been after she graduated and started working at her family’s real estate agency that the spell was cast.

  I listened as she said a cheerful hello to various people in line and sitting at tables. I wasn’t the only one who was lured in by her magnetism. While I forced myself not to stare at Charlie, I noticed nearly everyone in the shop was watching her, some with a dreamy star-struck gaze. It’s not that she was a celebrity. It wasn’t even that she was absolutely stunning, though her beauty certainly added to the effect. No, there was something else about Charlie Ashley that had us all captivated. I didn’t know what it was, and I was too scared to find out.

  Chapter Three

  Charlie

  I’m already at the front of the line at Muffins and Steam when Grace and Morgan arrive. They aren’t late, I’m early. I had to get out of the house the moment I woke up. Being alone in there was getting worse, not better.

  I wave to the girls and add their orders to mine. Valerie Martin is behind the counter. She was in my grade at school and while we had a brief attempt at friendship in middle school, I quickly discovered she was not friendship material. To start, she made fun of Mia, and tried to convince me to drop her as a friend. As if. That’s what I’d said to her back then. She’s grown up since those pre-teen days, and I’ve learned to let grudges like that one go. As long as she doesn’t cross me again, we’re cool.

  “Are you training for that half marathon with Mia?” she asks.

  “No. She tried to convince me, but I’m not as hardcore about running as she is.”

  “I see her out running with Jamie all the time.”

  That’s the other reason I’m not training with her. It’s kind of become her and Jamie’s thing, which is cool, but I don’t want to be the third wheel.

  “I’ve decided to try yoga, actually,” I tell her. “I’m in the mood for something more relaxing. Maybe I’ll learn to meditate while I’m at it.”

  Valerie shakes her head with a laugh. “Charlie, you can’t sit still long enough to meditate. But I heard there’s a yoga class at the rec center that incorporates handstands and really intense body contortions. You could maybe get into that.”

  I move out of the way for the next customer with a nod. “Yeah, maybe.”

  Grace and Morgan are right behind me when I turn to wait for our drinks.

  “Yoga this time?”

  I shrug. The truth is, I looked up the first available class this morning at the rec center. I’d considered tennis at the country club or swimming. But this class is at 8 AM and it gets all of us up and out of the house early.

  The first step in every breakup recovery process is a new exercise regimen.

  “Are we waiting for Mia?” Grace asks, looking around.

  “No, she does her long runs with Jamie on Sunday mornings.”

  “You didn’t invite her?” Morgan frowns at me.

  I shake my head. “I didn’t want her to have to decide between Jamie and me.”

  I don’t want to find out if she’d choose him.

  Grace places a hand on my forearm. “Did you even tell her you and Topher broke up?”

  Ugh, her voice is all compassionate and it’s making me feel suffocated.

  “I’ll tell her after yoga.”

  There’s a drink already waiting on the counter and the name on it says Tanner. Oh, Tanner Moon. The dreamy Tanner Moon. He’s always nice to look at. Wanting out of the conversation, I pick up Tanner’s drink and turn to find him.

  He’s standing behind my friends, his eyes on the drink in my hand and a serious expression on his face.

  “Don’t worry, Tanner, I’m not stealing your coffee.” I hand it to him. “You had a wedding last night?”

  His eyes drift up for a second to meet mine before he lowers them to take a sip of coffee. “Yeah. Up at the resort.”

  I can never get the guy to talk to me. Which is for the best. Tanner Moon is hands down the hottest Sugarville local. No one would even try to dispute this fact. And sadly, his status as a permanent resident means he’s on the no-touch list.

  Morgan joins us, asking Tanner, “You still live in the cottage on the Hartland Orchards, right?” The poor guy can never escape us. Every time we talk to him I feel like he’s just being polite, waiting for a moment to flee. But I can’t help myself, and I approach him all the time.

  “I do.”

  “He’s been living there for eight years, since he graduated college,” I tell Morgan. I’ve heard he uses the old hay barn for band practices. Okay fine, one time when I was apple picking, my curiosity got the best of me and I wandered over to the hay barn and checked it out. It’s pretty cool what he’s done with it.

  “Oh man, you must be bummed the Hartland’s daughter is moving back to town with her husband.”

  I turn to Morgan. “Why would he be bummed about that?”

  “They’re moving into the cottage. Jill’s expecting a baby in a couple months. Oliver said her husband’s starting a new job at Avery Creamery soon.”

  Morgan refers to our friend Oliver Avery, who recently started an executive role with his family’s company. She looks from me to Tanner and back to me, and when I take in her stricken expression, I turn my eyes on Tanner. He looks like someone just ran over his puppy.

  “Uh, maybe I misunderstood. Maybe they aren’t moving into the cottage. Isn’t there a barn? Maybe Oliver meant the barn.” Morgan backtracks. “Oliver probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

  Valerie announces our drinks are ready, but none of us move. Tanner’s studying his coffee and I just want to hug him. He looks so devastated.

  Grace pats his bicep. “Hey,” she says in her gentle NICU-nurse voice. “Do you want to come to yoga with us?”

  I watch for it, and sure enough, there’s a hint of that Tanner Moon blush. I’ve gotten better at sensing when it’s coming.

  “That’s okay. I’m headed home. I should talk to Dolores and Barry, find out what’s going on.”

&n
bsp; As he waves goodbye, a thought pops into my head. “Hey, if you need a place to stay, I’m looking for a roommate!” I call before the door shuts behind him. Now the entire shop knows, which is a good way to spread the word. Much more reliable than Craigslist.

  I swear I see the back of his neck turning red in a whole-body blush before the door shuts behind him.

  “Well, you two managed to devastate and embarrass the guy in less than sixty seconds.” Grace claps a hand on each of our backs. “I have such talented friends.”

  We get our coffees and start the walk to the rec center. The sidewalk along the road ends and we follow the path in the grass to the rec center.

  “Are you really thinking about getting a roommate or were you just messing with Tanner?” Morgan asks.

  “I need a roommate. It’s part of the breakup recovery process.”

  “Since when?” Grace asks.

  “Since today. I started my roommate search when I announced it at Muffins and Steam.”

  “Why didn’t you ask us first? We’d room with you,” Morgan says.

  “But you already have a place. When’s your lease up?”

  “I can’t remember. Do you know, Grace?”

  “I think it’s September, but our landlord has a crush on me so I’m sure we could get out a month early without penalty.”

  “Oh yeah, it’s Gunner Densmore.” Ever since I saw him kill a squirrel with his BB gun in fourth grade and then bring it to lunch in a Tupperware, I’ve been creeped out by that guy.

  “I thought Jamie was covering Mia’s rent for a year or something?” Morgan asks.

  Mia’s boyfriend is a billionaire. A legitimate billionaire, so I don’t feel guilty accepting his money.

  “It’s not about the money. You guys could live rent-free since he’s covering it. But two of us would have to share a room.”

  We all fall silent at that reminder. None of us have had to share rooms since we were in dorms the first year of college.

  “I’ll find someone, guys, don’t worry.”

  “But wouldn’t you rather have the house to yourself?” Grace wonders.

  “No. It’s scary in that house by myself,” I admit. Scary isn’t entirely accurate. It’s lonely, but I don’t admit that.

  “What if Mia wants to come back?” Morgan’s question has me shaking my head rapidly.

  “She won’t.” I can feel both of them looking at me, and I don’t want them to make the wrong assumptions.

  I keep my eyes trained on the recreation center in front of me. “This breakup recovery process is also about moving on from Mia. Not breaking up with her,” I add quickly. “But like, accepting she’s moving on? Okay, no matter how I phrase it, it sounds dramatic. But the thing is, Mia finding the love of her life and moving in with him? Well, that’s more dramatic to me than any breakup I’ve been through.” Oh fuck, I’m going to cry. Right here on the side of the main road in Sugarville, in view of everyone pulling into the recreation center’s parking lot.

  Grace starts to wrap her arms around me but I keep walking. “Nope, no hugs.”

  “But wait!” Grace calls, jogging to keep up with me. “You didn’t even do the mopey part.”

  After a workout plan is determined, the next step is the moping and then we get to bash the ex-boyfriend before a period of not speaking his name or existence commences. Neither of those last two steps will apply to Mia, and I’m not even sure why I’m comparing the situation to a breakup in the first place.

  “The mopey part only ever lasts like two seconds. The text she sent saying Topher’s an idiot counted for both the moping and the bashing.” Morgan moves in front of me, and places two hands on my shoulders, stopping me. “But we haven’t had any emotional moments about Mia. Obviously, we won’t be bashing her, but if you need to cry about it, let out your feelings, we’re here for you.”

  “No, that was all the letting out you’re getting from me.” In fact, I feel like I just ripped myself open by telling them that. The only reason I could do it is because I know they already knew exactly how I felt without me articulating it. The four of us have been tight for years now. I haven’t been friends with Grace and Morgan my entire life like I have with Mia, but our friendships run deep.

  Still, saying it aloud has me feeling raw.

  “Let’s get our yoga on.”

  Chapter Four

  Tanner

  As I drove down the dirt road through the orchard to my cottage, I saw Dolores and Barry Hartland walking in the field. Dolores carried a basket and she waved when she saw me. It looked like they were headed to my place, so after parking I walked in their direction with my coffee. I hoped Morgan had her story wrong. It was about time to renew my lease and maybe they wanted to change some terms. I’d pay twice as much to stay here. I loved how isolated it was, that it was too far out of town for folks to stop by unannounced.

  I’d forgotten I was still in my clothes from last night, and after greeting them, explained I’d stayed up at the resort since the wedding went so late.

  “Oh yes, that’s one of the downsides to living so far out here on the other side of town. It’s a good drive down from the resort and the mountain,” Dolores said.

  “Well, Tanner,” Barry inserted himself. “We’ve got some sad news.”

  “It’s not sad, Barry,” Dolores corrects him.

  “It will be for Tanner.”

  She conceded, giving me a sympathetic look.

  My heart dropped to my stomach. Morgan hadn’t had the wrong story after all.

  “Jill’s moving back to Sugarville,” Barry announced, referring to their daughter. “And with your lease up in a couple of weeks, we thought she’d move into the cottage.”

  “She’s having her first baby, and she wants to help us run the orchard, maybe set up a cider mill. Her husband got a great job at Avery Creamery,” Dolores explained. Despite the guilt in her expression, I could plainly see they were overjoyed to have their daughter and her growing family settling in Sugarville, and on their property. There were a lot of possibilities to expand the cottage or the old hay barn to make more living space down the road.

  “I’m happy for you,” I told them truthfully, even if I was mostly feeling bummed – just as they’d predicted.

  “We’re real sorry it’s such short notice, Tanner, especially after all this time.” Barry placed a solid hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “They’d been looking for one of them to get a job up here before making the move, but it happened sooner than any of us were expecting.”

  “You know how hard it can be to find good work around here.”

  “I’m glad Avery Creamery had something for her husband. And I know Jill’s been talking about expanding the orchard into a cider mill for years.”

  “Speaking of, I made some cider donuts and apple muffins for you.” Dolores handed me the basket.

  Well, the woman knew how to cheer me up. The smell of the baked goods wafted up when I lifted the basket lid, and that alone lifted my spirits.

  I reassured them there were no hard feelings. While the lease wasn’t up until the end of August, I had the impression that the sooner I could move out, the better. They told me I could stay a couple weeks past my lease if I needed, but I wasn’t one to overstay my welcome. Matt and Jill were moving in two weeks. Ideally, I’d be gone in one week so they could get the cottage ready before they arrived. Otherwise they’d have to stay at the main house until I was gone. With Jill seven months pregnant, I didn’t want her having to move all her things twice on my behalf.

  I did plan to take advantage of their offer to keep using the hay barn as my music studio. Before I moved in, it had been more or less abandoned. I wouldn’t use it forever, but at least for the next few months until I figured something else out.

  My computer sat on the wood table by the kitchen, waiting for me to write. But if I was planning to find new living arrangements and move within a week or two, I couldn’t afford to disappear into my writing cave. That�
��s exactly what would happen if I sat down and got thinking about my characters.

  Even knowing this, I couldn’t help myself. Before I knew it, I was in the chair and my fingers were flying over the keyboard. This always happened after an encounter with Charlie. Her presence was so strong, I imagined she had some sort of magic, sprinkling it over me and others.

  I’d been writing stories about mystical worlds since first grade. By the time I got to high school, I was writing full-length books. My mom was an English teacher, and while I swore her to secrecy, she helped me with edits at the beginning. I never did try to find an agent or publisher, and went straight with the self-publishing route.

  I published under a pen name. A woman’s name. I wrote romance novels, fantasy romance, and some of my books were described as erotic. Since most romance readers were women, I’d thought it best to choose a female pen name. Though my desire for anonymity was stronger than any marketing reason behind the choice.

  It made me feel a bit like a creep, sitting here in my cottage in the woods, picturing Charlie as I described the heroine in my book. But she’d never find out, and there was no harm, so that gave me permission to let my imagination run wild.

  Only three people in the world knew that Virginia Rose was Tanner Moon. My mom, my stepdad Allen, and a lawyer I’d hired in Burlington to file all my paperwork. It was the lawyer’s name and address for public records like the secretary of state filing and the agent who signed on behalf of Virginia Rose LLC whenever possible. He wasn’t a literary agent, just another person to keep me one more stepped removed from Virginia Rose.