by Ali Dean
“We are, but why are all these people here?” I guess it’s a dumb question. Anyone could have heard there was a party at my house, and while someone should have called me directly, it’s not completely off base to assume a house party on a Saturday night means the more the merrier. Especially since I host frisbee, where that attitude flies. I do know most of the people I see getting out and going around back. They aren’t total strangers.
The driver throws an arm around me. I recognize him but can’t remember his name. Topher takes that as a dismissal, or permission to carry on.
Two more people get out of the car and one of them helps Topher unload the keg.
“Guys, stop. Turn around. Put the keg back.”
They pause. “You don’t want more beer?” Topher asks.
“No. I never meant this to turn into a party. I was about to send everyone home before you got here.”
The driver, who’s got his heavy arm on my shoulder, protests. “Oh come on, don’t be like that, Charlie.”
“Be like what?”
“You know.”
Is this guy trying to call me a bitch without calling me one?
His arm around me is sweaty and I shake him off as he says, “We’re all here. It’s a great night to party. Just roll with it.”
I think the old Charlie would have shrugged and said whatever and done just that. She might not have even bothered to come out here and ask them to leave in the first place. She would have blown off the run or dogged it. But I’ve worked hard to keep up with Mia, and this half marathon means a lot to her. It means a lot to me. I’m not doing it because of some ritualistic breakup process I conjured up. I don’t really know why I’m doing it, but I know that I don’t want to party with these people.
The new Charlie has commitments, and doesn’t want to “roll with it” all the time. Tanner seems to think people respect me, but maybe he was only referring to locals. Well, it’s time to demand respect from everyone else too.
Chapter Twenty
Tanner
It wasn’t so much the numbers as it was the level of rowdy that was a problem. Some of the ski bums who’d showed up were wasted or high or both and didn’t seem the least bit aware they were at a low-key get-together with people interested in s’mores before turning in early.
Between me, Morgan, and a few others, we managed to corral them back to the front of the house before they got settled. Morgan stood on the back porch and yelled so loud, it got everyone’s attention. “Time for everyone to go home!” That got most people moving. The locals got it – they could see what was about to happen – and helped get the confused newcomers to turn around.
When I got to the front of the house, there was some sort of standoff going on between Charlie and a few people. The blue-haired guy, Topher, was holding a keg, and when he saw everyone coming around, he put it down on the ground. Most of the locals who’d been hanging out went back to their cars, not wanting to amp up the situation by turning it into a spectacle, which was helpful. Jamie, Mia, Morgan, Oliver, Grace and I stayed, and I noticed my bandmates stuck around too. Hopefully we wouldn’t need reinforcements, but Topher’s crew didn’t seem real motivated to get back in the cars they’d just exited.
Riley, the guy from frisbee who had yet to give up on getting Charlie’s interest, walked over to her.
“Hey, you okay?”
My jaws snapped together, and I took a few steps closer as he put his hands on her shoulders.
“I’m fine. But I’ll be better when everyone leaves. I’m not looking to party tonight.”
“But you had a party going on before we got here. Did we do something wrong? Did someone upset you?”
He still hadn’t removed his paws from her shoulders and they were now slipping down to her arms. I walked over there and positioned myself right behind her, my chest nearly touching her back.
Charlie glanced over her shoulder to confirm it was me. With all these guys around not giving her much space, I braced myself for her to say enough and storm off. I moved in here without thinking, and I was about to back up a step or two when I felt her lean back, seeking my support. Riley’s hands dropped and I breathed a little easier.
“I don’t get why everyone’s questioning me.” Charlie’s tone was even, but there was a bite there.
“You’re usually up for a good time. And we brought a keg.” That came from Topher.
“Yeah, and I was having a good time. But like I said, I was ready to get to bed and call it a night and send everyone home. I’m still ready for that. I’m not going to apologize for it.” Some from the ski bum crowd looked around, shifting on their feet, acknowledging they were out of line. Others looked around with a different attitude, trying to figure out how they could keep the vibe of their night rolling in the right direction even if it meant being an asshole.
“I’m sorry you might have gotten a different message of what was going on and drove all ten minutes down here, but no one called me first to check.”
“I thought you texted her,” Riley said to Topher.
“I thought you did,” Topher said to another guy.
“Whatever, guys. You’re leaving now, right?”
There was a lot of grumbling and foot-dragging, but eventually everyone except her friends left.
“Thanks,” she told me as we walked inside.
“You had it handled. I just stood there.”
There wasn’t much to clean up, with the folks here earlier keeping things tame, but her friends picked up a few empty cans and bottles.
“You want me to put the fire out?” Morgan asked us as we looked around for any stray s’mores supplies the dogs could get ahold of.
“No, I’m going to sit out here a minute to chill before going to bed.” We walked around front with her friends and said goodnight, everyone a little relieved we prevented things getting out of control.
“Can I join you at the fire?” I asked, following her inside.
“Of course.” She grabbed a blanket off the couch before going through the back door and I hesitated, thinking about grabbing my guitar.
“You coming?”
I didn’t need it. I only wanted to be with Charlie.
“Yeah, right here.”
“Maybe I did over-commit with the half marathon.” Charlie collapsed into one of the chairs and I took the one beside her.
“You aren’t going to pull out now, are you?” I asked it like a dare, knowing it was what she needed.
Charlie was smirking when I looked over at her, and I knew she knew I had her pegged.
“Listen, I’m well aware my commitment problems extend to athletic pursuits as well. But I’m seeing this through. The race is in two weeks.”
Commitment problems. Is that what she thought of her short-term boyfriends? I knew I couldn’t handle hearing her talk about it so I didn’t ask.
Meatball placed his head on my thigh and gave me those dopey eyes, wanting me to call him up. But he wasn’t the one I wanted on my lap. My entire body burned for her, and I couldn’t even bring myself to fight it. I’d been hiding – up in my room, at the barn – trying to keep my distance as much as I could. But I couldn’t resist getting as close as she would let me any longer.
“I think maybe I’m at an in-between point in life.” Charlie sounded thoughtful as she drew her knees up and pulled the blanket around her. I wanted to scoop her up and put her right on my lap.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t relate to the ski bum lifestyle anymore. It’s starting to seem too flippant and juvenile. It’s not that they’re doing anything wrong – most of the time – it’s just that they seem so young. That attitude, the one where you pretend like you have no responsibilities and life is all about you, I’ve outgrown it.”
We’d touched the surface of this once before, and clearly it was still weighing on her. “I don’t know that it’s about age necessarily. Plenty of people in their early twenties aren’t quite so oblivious and self-in
volved. You like to have fun and be a part of the community, Charlie, but you were never flippant about life, people’s feelings, the things that matter, even when you were juvenile.”
“Why are you so nice to me? You don’t actually know that. I could have been a real asshole in college.”
You don’t actually know me? She was wrong about that.
“We might not have hung out much before I became your roommate, but I see and hear enough to feel confident in my assessment. I’m not just being nice.”
“I guess I’ll accept that,” Charlie conceded. “I had a feel for your character just from living in this town with you before you moved in. I wasn’t about to accept just any application for my roommate, you know.”
We both laughed quietly, knowing she was a little desperate at the time. She would have taken anyone unless they had a really sketchy criminal record maybe.
Charlie was still thoughtful. “And then there’s people like Mia, you know? She’s ready to settle down, start a family. I’m not quite there yet either.” A beat passed before she said so softly, I wasn’t sure if I heard it right, “I don’t know if I ever will be.”
“It’s hard to think about settling and having kids if you haven’t met anyone you might want to do it with.” What the hell was I saying? “I never think about it,” I added quickly.
“You don’t want a family?”
I really didn’t let myself think about this. Ever.
“It’s not that I don’t want one. You know, when I see kids at Brew Fest or something and remember going as a kid with my parents, I kind of get this blurry image of me doing it with my own kids someday.” I ignored the ache in my chest, because this was painful to talk about, think about. It shouldn’t be, but there it was. “No one’s ever asked me. I guess it could happen, but not for a long time if it does.”
“Well, it’s like you said. Hard to picture if you haven’t met anyone.”
Neither one of us acknowledged that we didn’t give anyone a chance. I knew I didn’t.
We also didn’t acknowledge how I’d touched her tonight. I wanted to pretend it had been innocent, but it sure as hell didn’t feel like it. There was a layer of heat between us so heavy, I could taste it.
I’d been the one to start it when I reached for her face, and if she gave me any sign at all, I wouldn’t be able to think of a single good reason not to finish it.
We let the sounds of the night fill the space, and as we watched the fire slowly die down, the heat between us became thicker. It was nearly unbearable.
“I’m heading in.” Charlie stood up. With Donut on one side, she moved toward me to get inside. But she stopped right in front of me. “You coming?”
I swear her voice was husky. She felt it too. I’d started it, but would she give me a sign she wanted me to touch her again? With Meatball on my other side, Charlie was stuck unless I got up or scooted back my chair.
As she stood there looking down at me, waiting, my hands on my thighs crept forward until they brushed her knees. Charlie’s eyes fluttered closed. She could have flinched away or stiffened, but her legs trembled. And that was enough of a sign for me.
I moved my hands all the way around until they gripped the back of her thighs. She went with me as I pulled her closer, as if she’d been picturing this too. Her knees splayed on either side of my hips as our mouths met. It was the kind of kiss that made every single one before it bland. It made my hands grip and mold her ass to coax every ounce of Charlie’s fire closer. As she dropped her hips and pressed down on my length, I deepened the kiss and swallowed every moan that poured out of her.
My palms slid up her back and around, dipping under her bra and pulling the cups down. When I took her breasts in my hands, she rocked against me harder, and we both groaned. The feel of Charlie in my hands, my tongue in her mouth, her center pressing into me like it was, overwhelmed me. I had Charlie Ashley surrounding me, and I couldn’t get enough. It was everything I’d pictured and imagined and dreamed about, only way beyond anything that had played out in my mind.
Her hands gripped my neck and she began to ride me in earnest. My thumbs, rough and callused from guitar, rubbed her nipples as I took her cues. The harder I massaged and caressed her breasts, the harder her hips moved against mine. Charlie was working me for her pleasure, and if she didn’t come soon, I’d be right there with her. I was so hard, I could feel the tip threatening to cut through the top of my jeans. A tingling at the base told me I’d have to slow her down or pull her off me if I didn’t want to explode.
I moved my hands to her hips, but instead of slowing, her mouth broke from mine and she threw her head back, grinding so hard I had to hold my breath to keep from ejaculating all over myself. Time slowed as I stopped breathing, watching her bare neck and open mouth against the black sky. My reality and imagination had officially collided, and it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
As soon as her hips slowed, and her head dropped down, I wrapped my hands around her bottom and stood up, brushing my lips against her collarbone and neck as I walked us inside. I went all the way upstairs, into my bedroom, and grabbed a condom from my dresser while keeping her against me; I didn’t even make it to the bed before positioning her against the wall.
I needed a release, and despite intending to take my sweet time if I ever had this chance with Charlie, we were both fully clothed, my zipper undone and her underwear ripped off, the only undressing I had the patience for the first time I came inside of her.
Chapter Twenty-One
Charlie
After the hottest sex of my life, it only gets hotter. Tanner frenzied and out of control is an unreal thing to experience. Tanner naked while he slowly gives each inch of my skin his attention? It’s the kind of thing that could make a girl fall in love.
He treats me like a queen, his fingers and hands and eyes taking in my body like I’m the first woman he’s ever seen or touched. But even as I melt into a puddle, a little voice in the back of my mind stops me from falling all the way into Tanner Moon’s orbit.
I don’t want to be another woman crying after the most incredible night of her life with this man.
I sleep beside him in his bed, and the run in the morning means there isn’t a chance to address what happened between us. I don’t want it to be awkward now, and I can only hope we’re both able to act like mature adults, and pretend like it never happened.
As Mia and I run in front of the guys, another little voice is taunting, “That’s not going to work, since you want it to happen again. And again. Every night.”
I run harder to shut it up.
“Slow down, Charlie,” Mia admonishes. “We’ve still got ten miles to go.”
Right. I’ve got to pace myself. “This whole pacing thing doesn’t come naturally to me,” I remind her.
The guys have dropped back a few feet with my surge, maybe assuming I want to talk to Mia about something without their listening ears. Or they might be wrapped up in conversation, not paying us any attention. I hear Jamie say something about last night, and how he felt better leaving knowing Tanner was there.
I don’t need a man to protect me. But I’ll admit, I felt better with him there too.
“I haven’t heard you talk about anyone lately. Are you seeing someone new?” Mia wonders.
“No, don’t worry, you’re not out of the loop.” I say it automatically, because until yesterday, that was true.
“It’s been more than two months since Topher, right?”
I glance behind us, and catch a glimpse of the guys. Jamie’s stopped to tie his shoe and Tanner is waiting for him. For the first time ever, I’m hesitant to tell Mia about the guy I’m sleeping with. Probably because I suspect it’s already past tense, but also because, well, despite not wanting to end up like Kathleen, it was one fucking special night. I want to keep it to myself. But this is Mia, and I tell her everything. I’m not going to start hiding things from her now.
“Actually, I slept with T
anner last night.”
The only sign of a reaction is that she trips on her own feet and I have to stop her from falling. It’s a relatively frequent occurrence with Mia, so it could be unrelated.
“But he’s your roommate.”
“You mean I can’t easily escape him if I want to?”
“And he lives in Sugarville.” She’s pointing out the obvious and I let her as the mild panic about what I’ve done starts to build. “Forever,” she adds helpfully, in case I didn’t pick up on the distinction between him and guys like Topher.
“Yeah, it won’t happen again,” I assure her, or myself.
“How long has this been going on?”
“That was the first time.”
“Did you both get drunk after we left?” The ever-pragmatic Mia can’t sort this out. It doesn’t fit into the order of the world and I completely understand why she’s grasping at straws to make sense of it.
“No. I guess these are the risks of having a roommate. A male one who looks like Tanner Moon,” I clarify.
“What are you going to do now?”
“I think we’ll have to pretend it never happened.” I almost confess that that’s not what I want, but we hear the guys catching up to us so I keep it to myself.
It takes over two hours, but we finish all fourteen miles. I’m definitely the one hurting the most by the end though, and normally that would make me a little salty. I don’t like being the weakest. But I’m so damn proud of myself for finishing fourteen miles without walking or stopping, I manage to tell my ego to get over itself.
“You really got fit fast once you decided to do this, Charlie. I’m not surprised, but running can be a grind,” Mia says. “A lot of those runs were by yourself, and it’s not exactly the most exciting sport.”
“You think it’s exciting.”
“Well yes, but I like tracking all my statistics. You don’t pay attention to that.”
“Running is boring, Mia, and so are statistics.”
She grins and shakes her head. “You probably have a whole chart hidden away in your room with a strategy to outkick me next Saturday.”
