A Reason to Stay

by Melissa Ellen

  Once they finally left, I rushed through my end of shift duties before counting my tips. I was happy. It was plenty to pay for gas home this weekend and cover the supplies for my studio. I checked my phone again. It was half past two. Shit! I needed to hurry if I was going to get home before dark. I hated driving in the dark.

  I waved goodbye to Hank and ran out the door, texting Lizzie asking her to bring my bag down with her when I got to the apartment. I didn’t want to waste time parking and running up the complex stairs. As I pulled up to our building, preparing to text her that I had arrived, I saw her standing outside with both of our bags in tow. She knew me well. Knowing how stressed I would likely be, she was already waiting, ready to jump in the car.

  I was looking forward to the drive home to Litchfield. It was my favorite time of year to drive home along the tree lined highways and winding country roads. There was something about seeing all the fall foliage that just made me relax and feel nostalgic. Litchfield was less than three hours from Wellesley, giving me plenty of time to reflect.

  I quite often made the peaceful drive home alone, as it was rare for Lizzie to want to return to our hometown. She preferred to stay in Wellesley and spend her weekends going out in the Boston night clubs, searching for her “first husband” as she would put it. She was made for city life and planned to rarely, if ever, return to Litchfield. I, on the other hand, loved the peaceful, pretty village with its steepled churches and village greens.

  Lizzie was unusually quiet on the drive. Being used to her chatty excitement when we took road trips together, I tried unobtrusively inquiring if anything was bothering her. But she just brushed it off as though she was only exhausted. I didn’t push. I knew she would open up to me about whatever it was when she was ready.

  The sun was just starting to set as we pulled into Litchfield. When we arrived outside my childhood home, I felt the warmth radiating out of the glowing windows. Our two story family home with white siding and black shutters was built in the 1800’s and was situated in a historic district near Litchfield Green. It was nicely landscaped and well maintained by my parents.

  The interior was just as charming with all the original wood floors and trim throughout. My favorite part was the galley kitchen that tended to get overcrowded during the holidays with all our family members wanting to be close to the food. Mom always complained it was too small and that she was going to start knocking out walls like you saw on the renovation shows. At the end of the day, though, I knew she probably never would. She loved the house and the fact that it had all the original touches. I don’t think she could ever really bring herself to changing it beyond finish and appliance upgrades.

  We walked through the front door and were overwhelmed with the bustling energy and noise of my family’s laughter and chatter. It seemed everyone had come over for dinner. I glanced over at Lizzie, who already seemed to be herself again. She was engulfed in a hug from my sister, Emily, and my dad was fast approaching. “Dad!” I squealed, jumping into his arms.

  “Hey, baby girl,” he laughed. “How was the drive?”

  “Beautiful. I never get tired of the fall in Connecticut.”

  “I hope you never do, that way I know you’ll always come home to see me,” he winked, taking mine and Lizzie’s bags. “I’ll drop these in your room for you. Get in the kitchen and give your Mom and Nana a hug before they tear each other apart.”

  “On it. Hopefully, I’m not too late.” I turned to grab Lizzie, but she had already left my side, laughing and flirting with my cousin, James. I knew her flirting was harmless. James, though, would always wish it turned into something more. He’d be doting on her for the rest of the evening.

  As I made my way into the kitchen, the wave of homemade pot roast hit my nose, making me realize how hungry I was. Nana was sitting at the table, going on about how my mom was doing the gravy all wrong.

  “You need more cornstarch!” she demanded.

  I could tell my mom was trying her best not to lose her patience. She’d been making brown gravy for over twenty years without Nana’s input. When Nana saw me, a big grin spread across her face, the gravy long forgotten. “My sweet granddaughter! Get over here and give your Nana a hug.”

  I obliged, giving her a big hug and kiss on her plump cheek. I turned to give Mom a hug also, but Nana tugged on my arm, forcing me into the chair next to her. “Sit. Sit. Tell an old lady about all the fun you’ve been up to.”

  Mom turned the gravy to a simmer to allow it thicken before making her way over to me, knowing that Nana would not be releasing me anytime soon. She gave me a kiss on the head, wrapping me in a hug from behind as I remained seated in the chair. “Hi, honey. You made it just in time. Dinner is about ready.” She went back over to the oven and pulled out the homemade dinner rolls. My mom was a brilliant cook, and I missed her cooking in college.

  I looked back at Nana and began to tell her all I had been up to at school and work. I glanced at mom who mouthed a silent “thank you,” her relief obvious now that Nana was distracted.

  “So, no new beaus to tell me about?” Nana inquired, patting my hand fondly with a hopeful look in her eyes.

  I responded with a quick, “No. I think I’ll remain single the rest of my life and die a happy old lady.”

  “Oh, nonsense!” she exclaimed. “They must be beating down the door of my beautiful, smart granddaughter. They’d be fools not to. You’re just too modest to admit it,” she winked.

  Unfortunately, it wasn’t true. There were a few guys that had asked me on dates, but I always found reasons not to go out with them. After the rocky break-up with my high school boyfriend, I didn’t want to date ever again. I had major trust issues after catching him cheating. At the time, I thought we would be one of those high school sweetheart couples that got married, had children and grew old together. Finding out that wasn’t going to be the case, had broken my heart, jading me from relationships.

  Emily came into the kitchen, taking a seat with Nana and me, providing a much needed relief from the current subject. “Hey brat,” she hugged me. “Glad you’re home.”

  “Me too. How’s the wedding planning going?” I asked, taking the first opportunity to change the subject to the wedding versus my non-existent love life.

  “Great! Thanks to Mom. I think she missed her calling as a wedding planner. I don’t know how I’d be getting through all this without her help.”

  “That’s good. Sorry, I haven’t been much of a maid of honor.”

  “Stop it. I know you’re busy with school and work. As long as you show up for the wedding and throw me a kick-ass bachelorette party, we’re good,” she teased.

  “Emily! That’s no language for a young lady to be using,” Nana reprimanded.

  Emily just laughed, rolling her eyes. Whereas my Mom tried to avoid stirring Nana up, I think Emily got a kick out of it. She gave a half-hearted apology to Nana before standing up to help my Mom set the table. I excused myself to do the same, promising Nana we would catch up more in a little bit. She squeezed my hand and reluctantly let me go help my sister.

  “Where’s Jackson? I didn’t see him, when I came in.”

  Jackson was my sister’s fiancé – a good-hearted, hardworking, rakishly handsome man with characteristics reminding me a lot of my Dad. He had a way of calming my sister and keeping her grounded. He was her perfect match. They met their sophomore year of college and had been madly in love since.

  “He had to work late. He should be here any minute.”

  As if on cue, he walked through the front door. She left me to finish the table, immediately running to greet him with a big kiss. I didn’t blame her.

  Shortly after everyone said their hellos, Mom announced dinner was ready. Dad led us all in a prayer just before the herd of hungry people descended on the delicious home cooked meal Mom had prepared. During dinner, the conversation and laughter flowed freely. It was so good to just sit back and listen to everyone joke, catching me up on things that h
ad been happening at home.

  As the men moved to the den to drink and talk about sports, the women of the family started clearing the table, helping Mom clean up the kitchen. My aunt and uncle came in to say their goodbyes as we were finishing up the cleaning. They were leaving for the night and would be dropping Nana off at her home. I hung up the towel I was using to dry dishes before making my way to the living room to give Nana a hug goodbye.

  After all the extended family had left, the girls discussed the weekend plans at the kitchen table while Dad and Jackson talked in the other room. With me being in town, we planned to go dress shopping after a cake tasting that was scheduled for the morning. Sunday, after church, we would have lunch at Nana’s before Lizzie and I left town to head back to Wellesley.

  We visited a little longer, discussing the upcoming wedding details and tossing some ideas for the bachelorette party. Before long, I was struggling to keep my eyes open, the business of the day catching up to me. “Sorry…,” I yawned. “Looks like I better get some sleep if I’m going to be any use tomorrow.”

  “Yeah,” Emily agreed, “Jackson and I should head home.”

  Completely in-sync with my sister as always, Jackson was already standing, shaking my Dad’s hand goodnight. We saw Emily and Jackson out before Lizzie and I headed off to bed. It had been a long, busy day, and I was asleep within seconds of lying my head on the pillow.

  CHAPTER 2

  I woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee. I lay in my childhood bed a few minutes, before I managed the courage to take myself out from under the warm blankets that covered me. I could hear the faint voices of my family talking downstairs. Lizzie was still asleep on the trundle bed in my room. She had spent so many nights in that bed, it might as well be hers. The two of us waking up in here on a Saturday morning, reminded me of the days we were kids having a sleep over, giggling over boys and other silly things.

  I crawled out of bed, tip-toeing quietly to my bag, hoping to keep the old floor from creaking and waking Lizzie. I pulled a sweatshirt over my pajamas and headed downstairs to join my family.

  They were all sitting around the kitchen table, drinking coffee and making small talk when I walked in. Mom looked up and smiled, “There’s a fresh pot of coffee, if you want. We were waiting on you and Lizzie to eat.”

  “Sorry, you should have woke us.”

  “Of course not. We have some time. You girl’s need your rest.”

  I grabbed a coffee mug from the cupboard and poured myself a cup, adding lots of cream and a little sugar. Jackson was behind me, pouring himself another cup, teasing me in that brotherly way about wanting some coffee with my cream. I stuck my tongue out at him and joined my family at the table.

  When Lizzie finally made an appearance, she was already showered, looking pristine. She made herself a cup of coffee before we all ate breakfast in a hurry, running short on time for the cake tasting appointment. After breakfast, I sprinted upstairs to take a quick shower before we headed to the bakery.

  “Ava! We need to go!” Emily called from the front door.

  “Coming!” I hollered back, rushing down the steps, nearly losing my footing. Emily gave Jackson a quick peck on the lips as we all loaded up into the car to leave for our appointment. While the four of us girls went to take care of wedding stuff, Dad and Jackson were going to work on Jackson’s car.

  We made it to the bakery only three minutes late. Yet, Mom still felt the need to apologize profusely to the owner of the bakery, who was still setting up the tasting for us when we arrived. She waved Mom off, saying not to even worry about it.

  The four of us sat at a table full of small slices of various cakes. We listened as the owner went over each one we tasted. Mom and Emily looked deep in thought as they chewed and savored each cake, while Lizzie and I just scarfed them down. They were all delicious.

  “Which one did you like the best?” Emily asked me.

  “I don’t know…the white one,” I smirked, my noncommittal response.

  She rolled her eyes at me, “A lot of help you are!”

  I laughed, “I’m sorry, they were all good.”

  “I liked the white chocolate with raspberry,” Lizzie interjected, studying all the plates in front of her.

  “Well, I’m glad Ava at least brought you as a contribution,” Emily goaded me as the baker returned with a book of cake images. Everyone was pouring over the book when I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my purse.

  S: Want to earn some extra cash and go on an awesome getaway?

  I smiled, intrigued by what Stephen was getting me into.

  A: What do you have going on?

  S: Not me, Christopher. He’s been hired to cater some rich guy’s b-day party in the Hamptons. Taking some of the cooks and servers with him. All expenses paid and $1500 cash for each server. He chose Mike to go. I signed up as a server. Sign-up sheet is filling up fast.

  As I read the text, the excitement in my stomach fluttered. I’d always wanted to go to the Hamptons. There was no way I could ever afford it, so to get paid to go, was even better. I responded quickly.

  A: Yes!

  S: Got you down, pumpkin…now you owe my twice ;)

  A: Thank you! Put it on my tab.

  “Ava, honey, what do you think?” Mom interrupted my thoughts. I shoved my phone back into my purse and looked up, trying to decipher what we were talking about.

  “Sorry, Mom. What?”

  “Cupcakes or traditional tiered cakes,” Lizzie said helpfully.

  “Oh….well, I like cupcakes.”

  “Nana will likely have a fit over that,” Mom sighed with a tinge of annoyance.

  “Well, what about tiered for the bridal cake and cupcakes for the groom?” I offered as a solution.

  “That works for me. White chocolate raspberry for the brides cake and the cupcakes have to be carrot cake. That’s Jackson’s favorite,” Emily said decisively.

  While Mom and Emily finalized the contract with the baker, I filled Lizzie in about the text I had received from Stephen. “OMG!” she squealed. “I am so freaking jealous! Think of all the rich eligible bachelors you’ll meet. You could find your first husband!” she clapped her hands together while bouncing on her toes.

  “Stop it. I’ll be working the event in probably the most unappealing server’s attire that makes sure we are unnoticeable. Plus, I don’t need to find my ‘first husband’. I don’t plan to marry at all. Especially, after seeing what a hassle it is to plan a wedding,” I laughed.

  “What are we all giddy about over here?” Emily asked. Mom was paying the deposit. Emily had left her side to join our conversation.

  “Only that Ava gets an all-expenses paid trip to the Hamptons, where she will be able to meet her prince charming,” Lizzie teased me some more. Which quickly earned her my middle finger.

  “Are you freaking serious,” my sister exclaimed as if I just won a million dollars.

  “About the trip to the Hamptons? Yes. The prince charming? No. It’s a catered event I’ll be working. It’s not going to be as glamorous as Lizzie is making it out to be.”

  “Still, that sounds awesome. I’d love to go to the Hamptons. Maybe, someday I can get Jackson to take me on a weekend getaway.”

  Perfectly timed, Mom walked up to hustle us along to the bridal dress shop. I was grateful for the interruption.

  When we arrived at the dress shop, Emily insisted that we try on bridesmaid dresses first. She needed time to let her stomach process all the cake before she put on a wedding dress. Lizzie was going to try them on with me, so Emily had an idea of what each bridesmaid dress looked like on a different body type.

  We all went separate ways, sifting through the store’s racks, picking out our favorite dresses to try on. The store associate took them from us, placing them in our private dressing room suite as we continued to browse. We walked into our dressing room and burst into laughter. It appeared we all got a little carried away with our selections.

  “
I think we have one of every dress they carry in the store,” Mom laughed.

  Lizzie walked over to the bottle of champagne and flutes waiting for us on a table. “We’re going to need a couple more of these,” she grinned, lifting the bottle. “I think we may be here awhile.” She popped the cork and poured us each a glass.

  We began trying on all the dresses, the time flying by. The afternoon was filled with jokes and laughter, all of us having a wonderful time. Lizzie looked great in every dress she put on her long, slender body. Most of the ones I tried on didn’t quite fit my shorter, curvier figure.

  All of Emily’s bridesmaids had a similar figure to Lizzie, with the exception of me. It was probably the fiftieth dress I tried on that finally had us all in awe. The dress was A-line and sleeve-less with a princess V-neck. The floor length chiffon flowed beautifully over the curve of my hips. It had a slit over the left leg that came up mid-thigh. It was beautiful and classy, with just a touch of sexy. It was perfect.

  As a junior sales associate was getting my measurements for my dress order, Emily decided to allow the senior associate to start bringing out wedding dresses that fit her criteria. Unlike the bridesmaid dresses that were upfront for customers to grab from the racks, the wedding dresses were all kept in the back and selected by the sales associate based on what would fit the bride best. The first few were beautiful. They just didn’t quite have the effect my sister wanted.

  After the fifth one she tried on, I could tell she was getting discouraged. “Ems,” I consoled, “don’t worry about it. You saw how many it took for me to find just a bridesmaid’s dress. I could only imagine if I was trying on a wedding dress!”

  “Yeah,” Lizzie added, “Anyways, Jackson’s going to care more about what’s under the dress than the dress itself.”

  Emily choked on her champagne with laughter. We all cracked up with her, relieved Emily’s spirit brightened.

  A couple of dresses later, Emily came out of the dressing room with the toothiest smile I’d ever seen. Her smile could not be restrained if she tried. It spread from her mouth to her rosy cheeks, reaching to her ears. Mom’s expression went from laughter to awe. She was speechless as the tears started forming in her eyes. I was right there with her. This was the dress. This was the one she was looking for. I had never seen a more perfect dress for my sister. It was as if the designer made it just for her. Lizzie even became struck with silence.