A Reason to Stay

by Melissa Ellen

  He flipped the covers back, laying me on the bed. I watched him as his strong naked body moved onto the bed beside me. He placed himself under the covers, rolling to his side, pulling me into his front, so that we were spooning.

  I lay there still and quiet in his arms. He kissed me a few times on the back of my head and on my neck as his arms comforted me. The night’s events spiraled through my mind as the realization of how my world was changing forever in more ways than one paralyzed me. I listened to his breathing, letting it soothe me as his chest rose and fell. It finally slowed into a steady rhythm, signaling he’d fallen asleep.

  I tightened his arm around me, closing my eyes. “I love you,” I whispered. The words spilling out, needing to say them out loud, even if he wouldn’t hear them.

  I heard a light tapping at our door, awaking me. I looked over at Rhett, who was still sleeping with his arms securely around me. I moved from his hold, searching for something to cover myself with. I found a hotel robe in the bathroom and slipped it on.

  I unlocked the door, cracking it open. Emily was standing there already dressed, her eyes sunken from lack of sleep and crying. I’m sure I didn’t look much better.

  “Hey,” she said quietly. “Jackson brought me a bag with clothes and stuff from home.” She lifted some clothes and sandals in her hands. “I figured you might need to borrow some.” She handed them to me through the door.

  “Thank you,” I took them from her. “Have you heard from Mom?”

  “Yes. Dad is awake and seems to be a lot better. They are moving him to a private room… He should be able to go back home tomorrow.”

  “That’s good news,” I tried being positive.

  “Sure,” she responded, not bothering to act happy. “Jackson and I are going to get some food in the restaurant downstairs. As soon as you and Rhett are ready, just come join us and then we’ll head to the hospital.”

  “Sounds good. See you in a few minutes.”

  She turned away, walking back down the hallway as I closed the door. I looked over at Rhett who was still sleeping and decided to let him rest as I slipped into the bathroom to get dressed. I used the hotel toothbrush and small toiletry bag that was provided to try and pull myself together.

  I put on my bra that had been discarded to the floor last night and pulled on the clothes that Emily gave me. I walked out of the bathroom, finding Rhett now awake, leaning over the side of the bed with a sheet across his lap. He was rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. As I admired his masculine, naked body, my heart filled with the words I’d said out loud last night.

  Feeling my eyes on him, he looked up, a small smile spreading across his face, stopping my heart. “Morning, beautiful.” He reached his arms out to me. I went to them where he pulled me back onto the bed to spoon me. “Clothes?”

  “Emily,” I responded. “Jackson brought her some from home. They’re eating downstairs and then we’ll head back to the hospital. Dad is being moved into a regular private room. They say he can go home tomorrow.”

  “That’s good news.”

  “I guess, so.”

  “Ava, I’m sorry… I wish I knew what to do… Do you want me to make some calls? I want to help.” I could hear the stress in his voice.

  I shook my head, loving him more for wanting to do something. I knew watching me hurt was hard for him. And not being able to control it and protect me from it, was even harder. “I just need you here with me.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “Just give me a few minutes, and I’ll be ready to go.” I turned in his arms and he gave me a light kiss before climbing out of bed to get dressed.

  When we got to the hospital, we found my dad sitting up in the bed, laughing and kissing my mother who was blushing like a school girl. The sight should have brought happiness to me, yet it had the reverse effect. I suddenly felt pain and sorrow for my mom. She was losing the love of her life and there was nothing she could do about it. Their days together were numbered. I didn’t see how she could be so strong during this time. I had always seen my Mom as the delicate creature, my dad her protector. She was stronger than I realized.

  The four of us walked into the room, and I felt guilty for interrupting their private moment. They didn’t seem bothered by it, only happy to see us.

  I told myself I needed to hold in the tears today. I needed to be stronger, but they were already coming. Nobody held it against me. They all had their time to come to grips with the cancer and knew I would need my own time.

  We hung around talking for a little bit as if everything was normal. As if it wasn’t completely odd we were in a hospital. Jackson offered to take mom to the hotel to rest, and after much persuading on all our parts, she conceded and left my dad with a kiss.

  The rest of us remained with Dad, keeping him company. Jackson returned with some food for him, since he had been complaining about how bad the hospital food had been.

  “You’re a lifesaver and a good man, Jackson,” Dad teased, taking a big bite of his greasy burger. His words made the room fall silent. The awkwardness hanging in the air.

  Rhett cleared his throat, trying to break the tension in the room, “How’s the wedding planning coming along? What are your plans for the honeymoon?”

  “Well… we’re postponing the honeymoon, for now. We’ll spend our wedding night in one of the nicer local hotels,” Emily explained. She didn’t need to explain further that they didn’t want to be too far away in case something happened to my father.

  I stood from my chair, needing a minute to breathe - alone. “I’m going to get some coffee.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Rhett offered, starting to stand.

  “No, I’m fine. I’ll be right back,” I assured him.

  I left the room, navigating through the hallways in search of coffee. I gave Lizzie a quick call to explain what had happened and what was going on. She had called and texted repeatedly. I had been ignoring it, other than responding with short texts that I would call her later. We cried together over the phone. She thought of my dad as a second father, so the news was just as hard on her.

  After we hung up, I took a minute to gather myself and then made my way back to the room. The rest of the day’s conversations had felt relatively normal and my mother returned looking more rested. The doctor stopped by, confirming they would release my father in the morning.

  We had decided Jackson and Emily would drive Mom and Dad home in the morning. With the wedding only being a few weeks away, I had decided to spend those weeks at home to help with the wedding and take care of my dad. Rhett made arrangements for myself and him to fly back to Boston, so I could pack some things and touch base with Hank and my professors.

  We hung around for a short time longer before leaving to head back to the hotel. I spent the rest of the night in Rhett’s arms, crying myself to sleep.

  CHAPTER 18

  The next couple weeks I spent as much time as I could with my dad, not wanting to leave his side. My mother and sister were busy with all the last minute wedding details, once again making me feel terrible for not helping. They assured me that it eased Mom’s worries that she could leave the house to help Emily, knowing I was there with him.

  I tried not to make a fuss over him as I knew it would only hurt his pride. But there were moments I wasn’t sure how to act, and so I would start fluffing his pillows or forcing him to take a drink of water. I did my best to be normal and not constantly cry around him. Anytime I felt like crying, I would make the excuse that I needed to get some school work done and then lock myself in my bedroom until I pulled myself together.

  It helped whenever Rhett was able to visit for a day or two. He stayed with me at my parents, whenever he could. He was having to go back and forth between Litchfield and Boston to take care of time sensitive business.

  It got easier after the first week home, and I finally felt like I was coping with the situation. We had a lot of father daughter moments that I knew I would always treasure in the
years to come. I could tell the traveling was wearing on Rhett, so I told him to go home for the last week before the wedding. He was resistant. Somehow I managed to convince him I was fine, and that I needed to catch up on school work anyways.

  My professors had been very understanding. They allowed me to turn in assignments via email and gave me an extension on my final project. Hank told me to take as much time off as I needed. Stephen and Lizzie texted and called me often to check in on me, always managing to brighten my spirits.

  The Thursday before the wedding, things were so crazy around the house that I had almost forgotten all my sadness. The upcoming wedding had seemed to help bring some much needed joy to my family, and we all couldn’t help being excited for Emily and Jackson. Dad had started to feel much better, getting a burst of energy, which had helped brighten everyone’s spirits.

  Lizzie and Mike were driving in for the wedding. I couldn’t wait to see the two of them. I had missed them and could use some friends. Rhett was to arrive late Friday afternoon, just in time for the rehearsal dinner. I was hoping he would be able to make it back earlier. Unfortunately, he had a Friday morning meeting that he wasn’t able to push or reschedule.

  Emily, Mom, a few of my aunts and I were all gathered around the kitchen table working on small party favors that would be placed on the tables for the wedding guests to take home. The room was filled with girlish chatter as we all talked and sipped on wine. We were about half way through the favors when I heard Lizzie calling out from the front door.

  I jumped up from the table, running into the living room where her and Mike were being greeted by Jackson and my dad. She had my dad in a big embrace, and I realized it was the first time she had seen him since she’d heard the news. She held him tight, her eyes closed. I knew she was fighting back tears, which only made tears well in my eyes.

  Emily walked up beside me, giving me a comforting pat on the back and then moved forward, breaking up their hug to give Lizzie her own hug. I joined them, hugging Mike and then Lizzie. She introduced everyone to Mike and then we all sat in the living room, visiting.

  “Ava, would you want to come with Mike and me to get something to eat? Maybe have a few drinks?” Lizzie asked after about an hour of conversation. “I need to show Mike the big town of Litchfield,” she added sarcastically. I looked over at Emily not wanting to abandon her in her time of need.

  “Go!” Emily commanded. “It will be good for you to get out of this house. Mom and the aunts have the party favors covered.”

  I jumped up, grabbing my purse before she changed her mind. Lizzie and Mike said their good-byes to my family before we headed out. Mike drove Lizzie’s car as she directed him to one of our favorite burger and beer spots. We snagged a table near the darts and ordered our food and drinks.

  “How are you?” Lizzie asked with a concerned face after the waitress left with our order.

  “Good as can be expected,” I responded, not really wanting to talk about it. I had finally started feeling a little normal sitting here, having a beer with them. The last thing I wanted was to get all emotional, again. Lizzie caught on and didn’t press any further, letting the conversation drop.

  “How’s Stephen?” I asked. I hadn’t heard from him in a few days and I was missing him.

  “Up to his usual antics,” Mike answered without much detail.

  “Oh! He finally broke things of with Deanna,” Lizzie added happily.

  “Took him long enough,” I sneered bitterly.

  “Tell me about it. I was getting sick of seeing her skanky ass walking around their house like she owned the place. Plus, I think she was trying to get Mike to have a brotherly threesome with her,” Lizzie said, turning her nose up in disgust.

  “Would never happen,” Mike said firmly, neither denying nor confirming the accusation.

  “So, she has offered!” Lizzie turned, squealing in shock as she pushed at Mike’s shoulder. He just laughed and shook his head.

  “I didn’t say that,” he grinned.

  “You didn’t deny it either,” she countered him. He only responded with a kiss on her cheek. I laughed at their little exchange before changing the subject to work, asking Mike how things were going.

  We ordered more drinks as the night went on and decided to play a few games of darts. Watching Mike and Lizzie’s flirting, had me missing Rhett terribly. It would have been nice to have him here with the three of us. We had went on a couple of double dates over the months. Mike and Rhett had gotten along easily, becoming friends much to Stephen’s displeasure. I had given up forcing a friendship between Stephen and Rhett. It became obvious very quickly that no matter what I tried, the two of them were not going to get along.

  It was getting late, and I had a busy few days ahead of me, so I told Lizzie and Mike I should get home. We paid out our tabs and then they dropped me at my house before heading to her parent’s house for the night.

  After changing into my pajamas and crawling into bed, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, sending Rhett a quick text.

  A: Can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Goodnight. x

  I immediately got his response, making me smile.

  R: Me too, beautiful. Sweet Dreams. x

  I put my phone down, closing my eyes to dream of Rhett.

  The next morning came early. I could hear that the chaos had already begun downstairs. I took my time getting ready for the day, knowing this was probably the only time I would have a moment of peace until after the wedding.

  Just as I was stepping out of the bathroom from my shower, my sister came bouncing up the stairs. “Ava, get dressed! We need to drop some things at the venue,” Emily demanded.

  “Okay, Okay. Just give me fifteen minutes,” I sighed annoyed by her intrusion of my leisurely morning. I moved into my bedroom closing the door, dressing quicker than I had originally planned. I picked up my phone to look at the clock. It was approaching eleven. Crap. I had obviously slept in and was surprised they didn’t push me to get ready before now.

  I rushed downstairs where my mom and sister were waiting, ready to go.

  “Do you want anything to eat before we go, honey?” Mom asked.

  “We don’t have time!” my sister huffed exasperated. The stress of the wedding was obviously starting to get to her.

  “Oh, nonsense, Emily. Your sister needs to eat something.”

  “I’m fine,” I interrupted them before bridezilla erupted. “I’ll just grab a piece of toast. Go on. I’ll meet you in the car,” I shooed them out the door. I ran to the pantry to find some bread, bypassing it when I saw a box of pop tarts. I snatched a package and ran out the door.

  We pulled up to the Litchfield Farm where the wedding would be held. It was a beautiful location year round, and in the spring with all the wildflowers blooming and everything green, it was the perfect romantic setting for a wedding. I didn’t blame Emily one bit for picking this location over a stuffy old church. I would never admit that to Nana, though.

  The farm was a historic estate on over one hundred acres of woodlands, rolling lawns and wildflower meadows. The main house was an old white New England colonial with black shutters and served as a small inn.

  The wedding was to be held on the lawns and the staff of the property along with the florist would be setting up and decorating the location in the morning. The reception was to be held in a secondary building on the estate that had more of a rustic flair than the main house with a large dance hall. We unloaded the decorations for the reception, carrying them into the dance hall that looked like an old wooden barn.

  The venue had an event coordinator waiting for us. She would be taking care of overseeing the setup and decorations of both the ceremony and reception hall. Mom and Emily met with her, going over a few last minute details of what they wanted done while I finished unloading all the boxes of décor and party favors that we were leaving behind.

  It took them about an hour to walk through everything before we got back in the car to head to t
he spa. Mom had scheduled some appointments for the three of us to get massages and our nails done. She insisted we needed a little relaxation time before all the madness started. I was under the impression it had already started, but I wasn’t going to voice that out loud.

  The massage seemed to help relax Emily. She was in a much better mood as we sipped champagne and got manicures and pedicures. We grabbed a quick bite to eat after our spa treatment before going home to rest before the rehearsal and dinner.

  As we pulled up in the driveway, I saw Rhett’s car. I could barely wait for mom to put her car in park before jumping out and running into the house. Rhett was casually standing in the living room, leaning against the wall, speaking with Jackson and my father who were seated on the couch and arm chair.

  He looked more deliciously handsome than I remembered. I devoured him immediately, jumping into his arms and covering him in kisses. “What are you doing here?” I asked once I had covered every inch of his face with my lips. “I thought you wouldn’t be here until later tonight.”

  “The meeting ended sooner than expected. I came straight from the office,” he gave me his sexy grin.

  “I’m glad. I missed you.”

  “Really? We hardly noticed,” Emily interrupted our moment, giggling as her and Mom walked through the front door.

  I had completely forgotten we weren’t the only two in the room. I flushed, jumping down from Rhett’s arms, turning to my dad to give him an apologetic look. He just laughed, shaking his head not bothered by my display at all. Rhett held me close, pulling me into his side.

  “Missed you too, babe,” he whispered for my ears only as he kissed me on top of my head. Emily and Mom made their way over to him, giving him hugs and kisses on the cheek. After spending a few minutes visiting, Emily and Jackson left to get some rest before the rehearsal. Mom and Dad headed to their room to do the same.