For Kicks

by Jenna Bayley-Burke

  “When you travel for Mendelssohn’s, you represent the company.” Michael cleared his throat. “We want to make sure our business is represented professionally at all times.”

  “Of course,” Breeze answered with a nod.

  Nancy squared her shoulders. “And what about the launch party?”

  “What about it?” She forced a smile. Nancy wasn’t there, couldn’t know anything Judy hadn’t told her.

  “Did you share a room with Logan there as well?”

  “No, I flew out after the party. I’m not sure what you are getting at.” Breeze wanted to throw something, to yell. The bitch was jealous, plain as the crooked nose on her ruddy face. But to attack her professionally? To try and take away the promotion she’d worked so hard to earn? “By all accounts I did a great job with the Kicks roll out. I don’t see how any of this has any bearing on my performance.”

  “You don’t see how creating an emergency for the company with your boyfriend cost this company thousands of dollars?” Nancy shrieked, slamming her fist against the desk.

  “Excuse me?”

  Michael cleared his throat. “We’re just trying to get to the truth, Breeze. There’s concern this situation may have been elevated because of your relationship.”

  “Does anyone think we were ready for the Kicks promotion?” Turns out you could grow up, but high-school drama followed you everywhere. She grasped the arms of the chair until her knuckles were white hot.

  “Did you tell Logan that before he came to the best set?” Nancy sneered.

  “How could I? I’d never met him before that day, Nancy.”

  There was nothing more she dared say. They didn’t believe her. But they couldn’t prove she’d done anything wrong either. Not without risking a lawsuit and more bad publicity than they could afford.

  Nancy sat across from the desk, arms folded across her wide chest, glaring down her uneven nose. Breeze’s professional reputation lay shattered before her. She didn’t know which way to move without being sliced to pieces by the shards. If she told them her personal life was none of their business it was tantamount to admitting guilt. If she kept insisting her innocence, she sounded pathetic.

  “Where do we go from here?” Breeze asked the air.

  “I think under the circumstances it is best if you moved out of the district, separated yourself from the Nitrous incident.” Michael cleared his throat before continuing. Nancy smirked, snapping the folder in front of her shut. “There aren’t any openings currently, however—”

  “Are you trying to fire me based on conjecture and innuendo?” Breeze twisted in her seat, deciding to go for broke. She’d been in every district in the company. She could list three open store management positions, twice as many assistant openings.

  “No, of course not,” Judy said. “We think it would be best for you to start over in another district. We have two store managers set to take maternity leave soon. One in Texas, the other in Illinois. It will give you a chance to start over.”

  “I think before we discuss this further I should contact John DeSalvo.” The name of the attorney who’d negotiated her grandmother’s settlement raised Nancy’s thick eyebrows. Breeze stood, willing her legs not to shake. “I have ten comp days coming from my time on the Kicks project. Maybe we all need to step back and think about my future with this company.”

  Breeze nodded curtly and stepped from the room. She turned into her office, intending to collect her personal belongings. But there were none.

  “I think this is what you’re looking for.” She turned to find Nancy behind her, a lidded document box in hand. “You should take Judy up on her offer to fill in.”

  “Why? Because it will spare your job?”

  “I didn’t do anything wrong. You did.”

  “We’ll see how corporate feels about you after my lawyer gets through with them.” Breeze tugged the box away and sashayed out of the store not allowing a single tear to fall until she hit the freeway.

  By the time she got home she’d found the anger again, and displayed it as soon as John DeSalvo returned her call. He calmed her as best he could, promising a settlement and reminding her she was young and could work anywhere.

  But she didn’t want to be anywhere. Right now she wanted to be home.

  The only thing she wanted to take with her, but couldn’t, was the fish. They’d have to settle for the plants she’d bought and the promise she’d be back before they ran out of food. She thought of calling the fish guy and arranging for him to feed them, but she didn’t have a spare key. Logan had that.

  The invoice from the fish guy had Logan’s address for billing. He lived south of town, not far from her store. She wanted to call and have the billing info changed, but instead folded the invoice and slipped it into her purse. If she was gone too long, she could have the fish guy pick up the key from him. Get her key back without even having to speak to Logan.

  The five-hour drive to her parents’ house lay before her, giving her way too much time to think. Attention she couldn’t divert with reading or knitting. Forcing her to confront things she’d never cared to look at. Like how this felt exactly the same as when she’d made the trip in reverse.

  She’d loved her mother so much she’d wanted to copy her life. Marry the first man she was with and fill a home with babies and love. But that had shattered when the man she thought shared the dream had turned out to be nothing but a boy.

  She’d followed her other example, her hard-working, successful grandmother, mirroring her life and career. But that had exploded in just the same way.

  She didn’t know of another way to live, to be happy and fulfilled. Though she realized neither way of life had ever given her true satisfaction. What she needed was something to keep her from remembering the stolen moments when she had been happy, satisfied. But there were no distractions here.

  It was just her, the open road, a cell phone Logan insisted on calling every hour, and a radio determined to play every sappy love song ever recorded.

  Each new verse made her think differently about the relationship. Had her recalling moments she didn’t know she even remembered. Like how extreme her reaction had been to him smiling at a store clerk. She thought his smiles were only for her until that moment. Thinking he’d smiled at someone else had torn at her heart, but what if she’d caught them in a situation where it looked like they’d been kissing?

  Chapter Fifteen

  This could very well blow up in her face. Humiliate her to no end. A disgrace she’d never live down. She pulled into the driveway, killed the engine and took a deep breath. She could do this.

  The house was dark, deserted, but she knew it would be. Without a key she couldn’t let herself in, so she walked around the yard to the back and opened the gate. A huge, black-bottomed pool consumed the backyard. She slipped off her sandals, stepped to the edge and dipped a toe in the warm water.

  The overcast sky held in the summer heat. Soon it would be pitch black, dark and moonless as the last strands of the sunset faded away. She turned and took in the pinks and oranges over the roof of the neighbor’s house. She needed to do that more, stop and look, listen and feel. Instead of always running. She’d deluded herself into thinking she’d been running to something, towards a career instead of running from her past. But no more.

  Walking over the lawn, she crossed the patio and spied the panel on the outside wall that turned on the lights. She flipped the switch, illuminating a single light by the back door, and pulled her shirt over her head.

  Breeze stepped out of her shorts and thought of diving in wearing her underwear. But plain white cotton hid nothing when wet, so she shucked it. A wicked thrill coursed through her. She stood completely naked. Outside. A privacy fence, waning daylight, and no one knowing where she was protected her, but still, she drank in the excitement before walking back to the edge of the pool.

  She stood at the shallow end, her hand on the bar by the steps. But she decided against going slow. No,
now was a time for all or nothing. She sped to the far end and backed up, ran, jumped and cannonballed into the deep end. She surfaced with a shriek of laughter, then pushed out and tried it again.

  Childish and messy, but so much fun. And she needed to have more fun, like work for a company that mandated five-day work weeks and set vacation time. The last time her cell phone had rung while she’d been in the car, she’d seen Nitrous on the display and given in.

  But it hadn’t been Logan. It had been the director of US retail. She’d pulled over and had the best conversation about her career. Talking had helped her focus on what she really wanted to accomplish, not for her resume but for herself. Nitrous had even agreed to the position she’d chosen, managing the flagship Nitrous World store in downtown Portland. A huge store that tourists flocked to, with more sales floor footage than any Mendelssohn’s.

  Accepting Mendelssohn’s offer would be like leaving with her tail between her legs. Rumors might be forgotten for a while, but always resurfaced at inopportune times. And moving would mean abandoning all hope of fixing things with her family, and Logan.

  She flipped onto her back and kicked the length of the pool. How she’d missed having a pool. As a kid, she’d bounded out of the house each morning and gone for a swim. In the summer anyway.

  “Breeze?” a voice warbled by the water. She started at the sound, hiding under the water and looking back towards the house.

  Seeing Logan, she relaxed her arms. There wasn’t an inch of her body he hadn’t seen. And in the twilight there couldn’t be much he could make out anyway.

  “Too late. I have a mental picture of it.” He stepped to the edge of the pool, toed off his Kicks and reached for the hem of his shirt. “I came home to shower because I thought you weren’t off work yet. I was going to sit on your steps until you came home.”

  “Wait a minute.” Breeze treaded to a shallow spot where she could stand, only her head visible above the waterline. “We need to talk, and if you get in here we won’t be talking.”

  He pulled his shirt over his head anyway, the muscles rippling as he tossed it on the grass. “I’m all for not talking. I open my mouth and become an ass.”

  “No argument here. I got your message. I’d already left for Ashland, but I turned back around.” He stood still, probably trying to figure out which of the dozen messages she referred to.

  “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll never react that way again.”

  “I know.” She stepped carefully to the edge of the pool, the water pulling at her body with every slow movement. “You know what it made me think of? Remember the airport when I freaked out because you smiled at someone else?”

  A grin played at his lips and he nodded.

  “It was because I didn’t know where we were going. If I’d been more secure I’d have handled it better.”

  “So now I’m obnoxious, jealous and insecure. So how is it I come home to find you in my pool, naked? Not that I’m complaining.”

  “I’m quitting Mendelssohn’s.”

  “You’re quitting? Why?”

  “Nancy realized we shared a room in Kentucky, and wasn’t too keen on having someone like me in her district. I think she was a little jealous.” Breeze smiled, thinking of Nancy’s innuendo. That really was the reason. Nancy had wanted Logan from the beginning. Well, she couldn’t have him. “My only other option is to leave the state and work in a different store.”

  “Someone like you? They don’t deserve to have you work there at all. I can’t believe they’d disrespect you like that.” He shook his head and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I know how much that job meant to you. But you can work for Nitrous. The retail team is really impressed by you.”

  “I know. Arranged it already. I start on the first. So does Anthony, which will really put Nancy in a twist since she’ll be down two managers going into the busiest time of year.” She moved so her shoulders were out of the water and reached for the edge of the pool. “I even discussed fraternizing policies with my new boss.”

  “I got the job with brand marketing. I’m out of the retail side completely.”

  “That’s the argument you want to make? I expected more from you.” Don’t stop chasing me just because I’ve stopped running.

  “More?”

  “Yes, I need more.” She took a deep breath and reminded herself he might not have had time to come to the same realizations she had. Yet. “Can you take a few days off?”

  “I guess so. I need to use a week of vacation time before I transition to the new position.”

  “Okay. Lose the pants.” She pressed her toes to the wall of the pool and pushed off, propelling herself backwards. She stopped at the far side, watching him strip. The ache between her thighs deepened.

  “I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but I like it.” He tossed his clothes onto the lawn and stepped to the deep end of the pool.

  “Don’t get in yet.”

  “Then why am I naked?” His smile was infectious.

  “I like to look at you. And I’m doing a little experiment. How do you feel about me?”

  “At the moment? Carnal.”

  “Hmm. Try again.” And please, don’t get it wrong this time.

  “Grateful, because I think you’re forgiving me. Relieved, because thinking you might not was killing me.”

  “Why?” She bit her lip, rethinking her plan. She’d been so sure this would go her way. Well, not sure exactly, but she needed to know.

  He dove into the pool. So fast and smooth the water barely rippled. She gasped as his warm hands encircled her waist and he surfaced inches from her, tipping his head back so the water ran off.

  “I’m missing my window here. I can feel it. What do you want me to say?”

  “I love you.” Her whispered words tugged at her heart.

  “Yeah?” He pulled her closer, a slow smile playing on his lips.

  “That’s what I want you to say. You’ve said it before, but that was during sex and you were half out of your mind. That’s where I want us to be going.” She pulled the inside of her cheek between her teeth and studied his face. He didn’t flinch.

  “Out of our minds?”

  “Forget it. I obviously read you wrong.” She pushed at him, trying to break free.

  “You think so?”

  He backed her against the wall of the pool, pulled her so close her arms were pinned to her sides. With him this close she couldn’t even get enough leverage for a good kick.

  “Stop squirming. Sometimes being with you is like trying to herd cats.” He squeezed so tight she could barely breathe.

  She forced herself to still and he relaxed his grip, tilting her chin up with his hand so she couldn’t help but look into his eyes, his eyelashes thick with water.

  “I’m not trying to pressure you. I thought maybe that’s why you were always trying so hard.” She took a deep breath and refocused. She wasn’t running anymore. “It’s okay if you’re not there yet. If it’s my turn to wait.”

  “I love you. Now say it again.”

  She grinned, relieved to hear the words. “I love you.” She stuck out her tongue for good measure.

  He took it as an invitation, sealing his mouth over hers and pressing her legs apart with his muscular thigh. His kiss trailed down her throat, his hands dripping down her body.

  “See? I told you this would happen. And I’m not done talking.”

  “So talk.” He spoke without looking up or stopping his explorations.

  “I have to go home.”

  “Stay here. I made room for the fish.”

  “Not the condo home. Ashland home. Wait a minute, you made room for my fish?”

  His head popped up, his expression serious. “Is everyone okay? Did you finally get a hold of them?”

  She nodded. “I rerouted my flight so I had a layover there and met with my mom. My parents are designing a new birthing center adjacent to the hospital. It’s named for them and has areas for some of their
passions like HypnoBirthing and family-laboring rooms. They didn’t want me to say I wasn’t coming to the opening, so they decided not to tell me about it at all.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Thank you. They should have at least told me, right?”

  “Right. But you have to go to the opening.”

  “I know. You busy on Friday?”

  “Yeah? You want me to go with you?” He pulled her close again. “Let’s go down early, go to a play, spend some time with your family.”

  “What if I got tickets to all the plays? What would you do for me then?”

  He lifted one of her legs, grinding his length against her as he kissed her neck.

  “Slow down, we have to be careful or we’ll end up using the Cohen birthing center instead of just visiting. And I’m not getting pregnant before we’re married. I’m old-fashioned that way.”

  “Do you want to have kids?” The lights from the pool reflected in his eyes as darkness closed in around them. As if the whole world teetered on one question. Well, two.

  “It depends. Will you marry me?”

  “You cheater.” He smiled wide. “I’m supposed to do that, Miss Old-Fashioned.”

  “Women do crazy things when they’re in love. Like get naked and jump into pools.”

  “Thank God it was my pool you found.” He cupped her face in his hands. “The last time we talked about kids you said you didn’t think you should. Are you just trying to tell me what I want to hear?”

  “I’m not my grandmother. And Nitrous is different. Twelve weeks of maternity leave and on-site daycare. Plus you get six weeks of paternity leave. If you want.”

  “I want. When did you learn all that?”

  “When I was negotiating managing the Nitrous World store downtown. And if I’m already married when I start, we won’t have to worry about fraternization rules, no matter how lax.”

  “Wow. Here you’ve really thought this out. I thought maybe I was rubbing off on you and you were being impulsive. Where’s my ring?” He stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest.