Wild Is My Heart

by Connie Mason

  “He went alone?” Laura asked, scandalized. “What are you doing here if Colt is in danger?”

  “Colt can take care of himself.” Jim smiled indulgently. “Besides, I’m still on assignment here in Karlsburg.”

  “What are you doing at the Circle H?” Sam demanded to know. She had a profound premonition that Colt was heading straight for trouble and wanted to know why his partner was safely tucked away in Karlsburg.

  “Orders,” Jim answered cryptically. “To all appearances I’m workin’ for the Logans.”

  “Do they know you’re here?” Jake asked anxiously.

  “They sent me.”

  For some reason his eyes sought out Sam, finding himself enthralled with her dark, sultry looks. If he thought Colt truly had no interest in her he’d waste little time staking his own claim.

  “The Logans seem determined to get their hands on this piece of land. They’re payin’ me to hire on as a ranch hand in order to learn all I can about the owner.”

  “Why?” Laura asked, bewildered. All this was still new to her.

  “They’re wantin’ to buy the ranch so they can make a bundle off the railroad when it comes through. But they have no idea where to find the present owner,” Jake revealed, his eyes softening as they lingered on Colt’s sister. It was obvious to both Jim and Sam that the foreman held tender feelings for the petite blond.

  “Exactly,” concurred Jim. “I’m supposed to learn all I can and report my findin’s to the Logans.”

  “Do you have evidence to connect the Logans with the Crowders?” Jake wondered.

  “Nothin’ but a gut feelin’. And a jury needs more evidence than that. I’m hopin’ it will all bust wide open soon. Calvin Logan is a slick operator, but one day he’ll slip up and the game will be over. He’s ruined too many good men to get away scot free.”

  “Then I reckon I oughta find you a job to keep up appearances,” Jake concluded. “C’ mon, Jim, you can jaw at the ladies later.”

  “Join us for supper,” Laura invited impulsively, surprising Sam. Immediately Laura regretted her rash invitation and looked to Sam for support.

  Sam hesitated but a moment before adding her own approval. Why not? she reasoned. It’s been dull around here these past days without Colt. “Yes, please do join us for supper tonight. It will give us a chance to put our cooking skills into practice. Jake and Will can come too. They’re probably tired of Sanchez’s cooking by now.”

  After that Jim and Jake ate their evening meal with Sam and Laura whenever possible. Will joined them when duties permitted, but mostly it was just the four of them. Recently Laura had admitted to Sam that she thought Jake a fine man, and obviously Jake felt more than mere friendship for Laura. More often than not Sam found herself alone with Jim while Laura and Jake wandered off by themselves. At first Sam felt uncomfortable, but after a while she began to relax in Jim’s company, discovering an extraordinary man beneath the rough exterior. He reminded her a lot of Colt.

  Soft-spoken, sensitive, kind, and gentle with the opposite sex, Jim was nothing like what she’d expect of a gunslinger. Not that he didn’t look the part with his dark, brooding looks, tall, lithe form, and aura of danger about him. When fixed with his steely gaze, Sam could understand one’s fear of the man. But to his friends he revealed none of the harshness of his nature that simmered just below the surface.

  During their times together Sam learned that Jim and Colt had met during the Mexican War. Older man Colt by a few years, Jim was born in a covered wagon somewhere on the prairie between Illinois and Texas. His family eventually found their way to Fort Worth and settled on land north of the city. Unlike Colt’s family who were slaughtered by Indians, Jim’s folks prospered and now owned one of the largest spreads in Texas.

  After the war Jim found it difficult to settle in one place, and when Colt announced his intention of joining the Rangers, Jim quickly followed his friend into their ranks despite his father’s protests. The elder Blake had high hopes of Jim taking over the Triple Bar Ranch. Jim’s two sisters had married men with no inclination for ranching, and his parents waited, albeit impatiently, for Jim to give up his wild ways and shoulder his responsibilities. But Jim had no intention of settling down, until he met Samantha Howard. Barely two weeks had slipped past before Jim realized he was falling in love for the first time in his life.

  “It’s so nice out tonight, Laura, we oughta take advantage of it,” Jake suggested hopefully. They had just finished supper and since the men had been out running down strays for the past week, it was the first meal they had shared since their return.

  “I should help Sam with the dishes first,” Laura replied with a shy smile.

  “No need,” Jim said with alacrity. “You two go on and enjoy the night. I’ll help Sam with dishes.”

  “Yes, go on, you two,” Sam urged, thinking how happy she’d be if Colt expressed the desire for her company. Needing no further urging, Laura gave Sam’s hand a squeeze and left with Jake.

  “There’s no need for you to help, Jim, it will take me but a few minutes to do these dishes.”

  “I want to help, Sam. I like to be with you,” Jim admitted somewhat sheepishly. “Haven’t you caught on yet? I want you.”

  Jim’s passionate confession nearly caused Sam to drop a plate. She stopped in mid-stride and turned to gape somewhat stupidly at the attractive man she had come to like and trust.

  “No, Jim, you mustn’t,” she whispered as he stepped forward and grasped her arms just above the elbows. “Surely you know that Colt and I are—that we’re—” The pained, constrictive words were jerked out of her.

  “I know what happened between you and Colt, and it doesn’t matter,” Jim said tightly. “He took advantage of you. I’ve known Colt a long time and he always was a bastard where women were concerned.”

  “No!” Sam’s eyes flew up, meeting Jim’s probing gaze squarely. “It… wasn’t like that.”

  Her words came to him on a breathless sigh, and suddenly Jim knew a moment of intense pain. “You love him.” It was more of an accusation than a question.

  Her silence provided the answer far better than any words she might have uttered. Jim’s eyes narrowed and his mouth hardened.

  “Jesus, Sam, don’t you know how futile, how utterly misplaced your love is? I don’t think Colt is capable of returnin’ your love. He might be my best friend, but I hold no illusions about him and his dealin’s with women. He attracts them in droves but allows no lastin’ attachments. At first I thought you might be the woman to change all that but…” Not wishing to hurt Sam, he fell silent.

  “But what?” Sam prodded, pain thudding through her body.

  “Dammit, Sam, do you really want to know?”

  Jim’s obvious reluctance spurred her curiosity, but words weren’t necessary to describe Colt’s feelings for her. Sam knew he wanted her; that he enjoyed making love to her. She even conceded the fact that he might feel a certain possessiveness towards her, but not love. No, never love. He would never forget she was part Comanche or forgive her for the blood that ran through her veins—the same blood claimed by those savages who killed his parents. Colt was a man who harbored too much hate in his heart for love to take root and grow.

  “There’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know,” Sam said slowly, relieving Jim of the need to say things about his friend better left unsaid. “At one time there might have been a chance for me and Colt. But I recently learned something that killed whatever feeling Colt felt for me.

  “I can’t imagine what that could be.” Jim frowned thoughtfully.

  “Didn’t he tell you?”

  “Should he have?”

  “I don’t know—I thought—You may as well know the reason I’ve earned Colt’s contempt. He discovered I was part Comanche.”

  “Jesus!” Jim rasped, stunned. But once her astounding disclosure sunk in, he noted all the subtle hints that pointed to her heritage. Golden skin, hair as black as a raven’s w
ing, high cheekbones, and eyes tilting subtly upwards. She was so vital, so alive and beautiful it hurt to look at her. If the savage part of her offended Colt, that was his problem. As for himself, Jim reckoned there was not a part of Sam that didn’t please him—including her Indian blood. Colt’s loss was his gain, if he could persuade Sam to consider him seriously.

  “I’m sorry, Sam, if bein’ Comanche bothers you,” Jim allowed. “Knowin’ Colt’s aversion for Indians, I can understand his … er … reluctance to continue your relationship. Perhaps now that you know how much I care for you you’ll consider my proposal.”

  “At the moment it’s impossible to think beyond the fact that I love Colt,” Sam said dryly. “I’ve tried to forget him. Now that Laura no longer needs me, I’ll be leaving.”

  “I need you, Sam,” Jim insisted, drawing her into the circle of his arms. “My enlistment is up soon and I’ve been seriously thinkin’ of setdin’ down.”

  “Jim, please, I…”

  “I’m offerin’ marriage, Sam.”

  “But you hardly know me.”

  “I know that I love you.”

  “I have to think of Will.”

  “There’s plenty of room on the Triple Bar Ranch for Will.”

  Unable to contain himself another minute with the object of his affection so close and attainable, Jim slipped his arms around Sam’s supple waist, pressing her into the hard wall of his chest Then abruptly his lips slanted over hers, sampling the sweet nectar she sought to withhold—but failed in the face of his perseverance. Before she succeeded in freeing herself, she felt the bold proof of his desire rising like a hot brand between them.

  The kiss was pleasant but not earth-shattering like Colt’s, prompting Sam to struggle free before Jim’s ardor got out of hand. “I’m sorry, Jim, it just won’t work,” Sam persisted, backing away. “Whether Colt realizes it or not, I belong to him. Did he tell you we were married in an Indian ceremony?”

  “Sweet Jesus!” Jim mouthed with suitable shock. “We had little time for talk, but he mentioned no such thing to me. You must realize, of course, that the marriage is hardly legal.”

  “I’m not stupid, Jim. I know Colt was more or less forced to participate in the joining ritual. I have no false expectations where Colt is concerned. I took care of myself before and will do so again.”

  “If I have the story straight,” Jim said with a lazy smile, “you were in trouble when you and Colt met.”

  Annoyed, Sam nodded. Of course Jim would know about that fiasco. “The money was returned,” she snapped.

  “I wasn’t accusin’ you, Sam,” Jim returned. “I was tryin’ to prove a point. It’s difficult for a woman on her own.”

  “I have Will,” Sam said stubbornly.

  “A half-grown boy.”

  “Nevertheless, we’ll manage.”

  “Marry me.”

  “I… can’t. You’d better leave, Jim.”

  Disappointed but hardly defeated, Jim acquiesced. “The last thing I want to do is anger you. But don’t think I’ve given up. If I thought Colt wanted you I’d back off gladly. But I’ve known him too long, been privy to the workin’s of his mind too many years not to know that he neither wants nor deserves your love.”

  He left then, leaving Sam with an empty feeling in the pit of her stomach. Everything Jim said was true. And it hurt—hurt dreadfully. It stung to think that her Indian blood made her good enough to bed but not to wed. Perhaps she should consider Jim’s proposal, Sam thought despondently. Soon everyone would know she was expecting Colt’s child. Then what?

  It had been nearly two months since their joining ceremony in Black Bear’s camp, and there was still no sign of her monthly flow. Since the onset of brief bouts of morning sickness, Sam was convinced that Colt’s seed had taken root in her womb on their wedding night. That’s why it was imperative she leave the ranch before anyone found out. Though Colt didn’t want her he’d feel obligated to support her and their child. But Sam didn’t fancy being kept for that reason. She’d starve before accepting charity from a man who felt nothing for her but lust.

  As the days sped by, Calvin Logan fumed over Jim Blake’s lack of communication. Vern was the recipient of the lion’s share of his anger.

  “Dammit, Vern, what could that man be doing out there all this time?” Calvin raged as he paced his office. “Surely he’s found out something by now.”

  “We shouldn’t have hired the man without askin’ more questions about his past,” Vern acknowledged irritably. “I’da sworn he was a drifter on the run from the law, but looks are often deceivin’.”

  “We had no choice,” Calvin growled crossly. “Once the Crowders left the area, we needed someone. Blake happened to be handy. But I certainly expected to hear from him before now.”

  “What are we gonna do, Daddy?”

  “Nothing, for a day or two. If we still haven’t heard from him by then, you ride out to the Circle H and arrange a meeting. Let him know we’re not too happy with him. Time is running out. The railroad men will be here soon and I hate to lose the profit I could make on the Howard place. If things go my way I’ll be rich beyond my wildest dreams.”

  Vern’s brows drew together in a scowl. “What about me?”

  “You’re a disappointment to me, Vern,” Calvin remarked hurtfully. “I want grandchildren and I won’t get any as long as you keep fooling around with that whore over at the Palace. You lost Samantha Howard by playing coward. The whole town knows you for what you are.”

  “Would you prefer I lost my life because of that woman?”

  “It might have been a blessing,” Calvin muttered beneath his breath.

  “Daddy!”

  “Oh, hell, Vern, you’re all I’ve got so it looks as if I’m stuck with you. Just don’t disappoint me this time. Find out what’s going on with Blake.”

  “Have you changed your mind about the will?” Vern asked hopefully.

  Calvin eyed Vern with distaste. How could this spineless creature have sprung from his loins? “Bring home a suitable wife and give me a grandchild, then we’ll talk about it.”

  “Do you still consider Samantha suitable after that Ranger bedded her?”

  “I like the girl. She’s got guts, something you lack. Besides, her indiscretion is no worse than your penchant for whores. Marry the chit and I’ll not find fault with your choice.”

  Several days later Vern rode out to the Circle H, arriving some time after dark. His orders were to contact Blake under the cover of darkness and find out if the gunslinger had learned anything about the new owner.

  Vern approached the bunkhouse cautiously, peering through one of the windows. The hands were seated around a long table making inroads in the piles of food Sanchez placed before them. Blake was not among their ranks. Disappointed, Vern slunk away, his gaze turning toward the house where soft light glowed invitingly through the windows.

  His steps took him to the rear of the house. Suddenly the back door opened and Vern melted into the shadows when a couple stepped out into the soft, star-studded night. At first he thought it was Samantha, but moonbeams reflecting off long blond tresses revealed his mistake. He knew then it was the sister Andrews had recently rescued from the Comanches. Vaguely, he wondered what the woman was doing out here. The Ranger had left Karlsburg some weeks before, and Vern had naturally assumed his sister had accompanied him.

  Hand in hand, the couple disappeared in the direction of the creek and Vern emerged from his concealment. The sound of voices drew him toward a window that looked into the parlor. Dismay settled over Vern’s bland features when he saw Jim Blake seated next to Sam on the divan. Swallowing his shock, Vern concentrated on the words flowing between them.

  Ever since Jim had declared his feelings for her, Sam had felt uncomfortable being alone with him. Luckily Jim had been too busy of late with ranch work to pursue her as he might have liked. But tonight everything conspired against her. One thing led to another and she soon found herself seated next
to Jim in the parlor while Laura and Jake escaped out the back door, holding hands and giggling like children. Sam wanted to disappear in a wisp of smoke when Jim broached the very subject she wished to avoid.

  “Have you thought any more about what we discussed the other day?” Jim asked, impaling her with eyes as black as midnight.

  “Jim, I appreciate your asking but—”

  “I want you for my wife, Sam.”

  Crouched outside the window Vern’s gasp drew little attention.

  “It’s impossible.”

  “Because you love Colt?”

  “That’s part of it.”

  “Look, Sam, I’m Colt’s best friend. We’ve been together for years. Through the Mexican War and now the Rangers. If I thought he wanted you for his wife, I’d bow out”

  “A goddamned Texas Ranger,” Vern muttered beneath his breath. Daddy’s going to explode when he learns he hired a lawman, Vern thought as he withdrew from his uncomfortable position beneath the window. Blake’s undercover activities told Vern things that neither he nor his father had been aware of. It told him that they were under suspicion and the Rangers were on to their illegal dealings. Perhaps even linked with the Crowders. Suddenly a devious smile lit Vern’s features. He saw a way to redeem himself in his father’s eyes and rid them of a traitor at the same time.

  “You don’t have to remind me that I’m nothing more to Colt than a convenience,” Sam choked, the notion that Colt’s feelings were widespread knowledge a knife-thrust in her heart.

  “No!” Jim contradicted. “I’m sure it wasn’t like that. I know Colt felt somethin’ for you, he wouldn’t use you for—well, he just wouldn’t. What I meant is that he’s not a marryin’ man. Especially when—” His words skidded to a halt, afraid of immersing himself more deeply in hot water than he already was.

  “… especially when the woman in question is half Comanche,” Sam saved him from saying. “It’s getting late, Jim, you’d better leave.”

  They soon parted after one last plea from Jim exhorting Sam to seriously consider his proposal.