The Magic of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  The College of Athletic Arts

  CHAPTER 21

  Dorothy and her friends arrived at the Royal Palace at an opportunetime, for Ozma was holding high court in her Throne Room, whereProfessor H. M. Wogglebug, T.E., was appealing to her to punish some ofthe students of the Royal Athletic College, of which he was thePrincipal.

  This College is located in the Munchkin Country, but not far from theEmerald City. To enable the students to devote their entire time toathletic exercises, such as boating, foot-ball, and the like, ProfessorWogglebug had invented an assortment of Tablets of Learning. One ofthese tablets, eaten by a scholar after breakfast, would instantlyenable him to understand arithmetic or algebra or any other branch ofmathematics. Another tablet eaten after lunch gave a student a completeknowledge of geography. Another tablet made it possible for the eater tospell the most difficult words, and still another enabled him to write abeautiful hand. There were tablets for history, mechanics, home cookingand agriculture, and it mattered not whether a boy or a girl was stupidor bright, for the tablets taught them everything in the twinkling of aneye.

  This method, which is patented in the Land of Oz by Professor Wogglebug,saves paper and books, as well as the tedious hours devoted to study insome of our less favored schools, and it also allows the students todevote all their time to racing, base-ball, tennis and other manly andwomanly sports, which are greatly interfered with by study in thoseTemples of Learning where Tablets of Learning are unknown.

  But it so happened that Professor Wogglebug (who had invented so muchthat he had acquired the habit) carelessly invented a Square-MealTablet, which was no bigger than your little finger-nail but contained,in condensed form, the equal of a bowl of soup, a portion of fried fish,a roast, a salad and a dessert, all of which gave the same nourishmentas a square meal.

  The Professor was so proud of these Square-Meal Tablets that he began tofeed them to the students at his college, instead of other food, but theboys and girls objected because they wanted food that they could enjoythe taste of. It was no fun at all to swallow a tablet, with a glass ofwater, and call it a dinner; so they refused to eat the Square-MealTablets. Professor Wogglebug insisted, and the result was that theSenior Class seized the learned Professor one day and threw him into theriver--clothes and all. Everyone knows that a wogglebug cannot swim, andso the inventor of the wonderful Square-Meal Tablets lay helpless on thebottom of the river for three days before a fisherman caught one of hislegs on a fishhook and dragged him out upon the bank.

  The learned Professor was naturally indignant at such treatment, and sohe brought the entire senior class to the Emerald City and appealed toOzma of Oz to punish them for their rebellion.

  I do not suppose the girl Ruler was very severe with the rebellious boysand girls, because she had herself refused to eat the Square-MealTablets in place of food, but while she was listening to the interestingcase in her Throne Room, Cap'n Bill managed to carry the goldenflower-pot containing the Magic Flower up to Trot's room without itbeing seen by anyone except Jellia Jamb, Ozma's chief Maid of Honor, andJellia promised not to tell.

  Also the Wizard was able to carry the cage of monkeys up to one of thetop towers of the palace, where he had a room of his own, to which noone came unless invited. So Trot and Dorothy and Cap'n Bill and theWizard were all delighted at the successful end of their adventure. TheCowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger went to the marble stables behind theRoyal Palace, where they lived while at home, and they too kept thesecret, even refusing to tell the Wooden Sawhorse, and Hank the Mule,and the Yellow Hen, and the Pink Kitten where they had been.

  Trot watered the Magic Flower every day and allowed no one in her roomto see the beautiful blossoms except her friends, Betsy Bobbin andDorothy. The wonderful plant did not seem to lose any of its magic bybeing removed from its island, and Trot was sure that Ozma would prizeit as one of her most delightful treasures.

  Up in his tower the little Wizard of Oz began training his twelve tinymonkeys, and the little creatures were so intelligent that they learnedevery trick the Wizard tried to teach them. The Wizard treated them withgreat kindness and gentleness and gave them the food that monkeys lovebest, so they promised to do their best on the great occasion of Ozma'sbirthday.