by Izzy Cullen
What You Do To Me
A novel by
Izzy Cullen
What You Do To Me Copyright © 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced. Distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in the critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Cover design by:
http://okaycreations.net
Edited by:
Frankie Sutton http://frankiesfreelanceediting.blogspot.com
This book is dedicated to my husband. Because of him, I have never felt an unloved day in fifteen years.
Without your love and support, this book would still be in my head with only a thought of being written. Most importantly, thank you for being the best dad I know.
1.
Seriously, what was I thinking? Why was I here? Without even thinking, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Lexi.
Remind me again what I am doing here and once again why I’m doing it alone?
Knowing I would be going into freak out mode, I knew she had her phone with her. While I waited for the response, I looked at my surroundings and realized I was totally out of place. Shit, I so wanted to leave.
Feeling the buzz of my phone, I looked down at her message and saw her response.
You are learning to live again, becoming a stronger person for YOUR GIRLS. Remember, I offered to go, but you just HAD to do this on your own, so do it!
Then, another buzz of the phone.
Plus it is on “the list”
Ugh! The list; the fucking list that Derek and Lexi seemed to keep making me stick to. I wished I could rip it up into a million pieces, but it had been talked about so much that it was burned into all our brains.
The noise around me grabbed my attention. OMG, there they were. Standing in the back of the line, I took in all the people around me. There were not a whole lot of clothes and I actually felt a tad overdressed, but then again, my reason for being here was completely different from the rest of these people. They were all here trying to grab a few minutes of attention from Awakening, but I was here to prove something to myself. I still couldn’t believe Lexi and Derek got the sweet seat in the front center and backstage passes for me to have for a meet and greet. Shit, front center at an Awakening concert was like a dream come true. What was I doing here? Another buzz from my phone made me become alert. Looking at the screen, I saw it was from Derek.
Stop freaking out! Have fun, but be careful & stay away from the guys with the tattoos ;)
Seriously, how well did my friends know me? I loved tattoos and could possibly be considered a tattoo slut. Looking up at the line again, I saw that not many people had made it through yet. I thought all these meet and greet the fan things were quick. Smile, take a picture and leave. Why were the guys in Awakening talking so much to everyone in line? Maybe, by the time I got up there, since I was last, there wouldn’t be a lot of time for chitchat and I could smile, get my picture to appease Lexi and Derek, and watch the concert that I’d been dying to see forever.
As I continued people watching, I was shocked, almost laughing aloud. Some of those girls were so funny to watch. Really, who has someone sign their chest? I wouldn’t, but then again, my size A tits wouldn’t really excite those guys in the least bit. My eyes shifted to the guys in the group. There were four of them. All of them were tall, well built and with tattoos to drool over. I couldn’t take my eyes off all the ink. I practically went weak in the knees. I had always loved a man with ink. I remember begging David to get a full arm sleeve, but he was always reluctant. Having both upper arms and his chest done was enough for him. Ugh, I needed to stop that. I needed to focus on why I was here and pay attention, because I was up soon.
Digging my camera from my small purse, I got ready to take a picture with all the guys. Fuck, who was going to take the picture? Everyone else had someone with them and here I was all alone. Why didn’t I allow Lexi or Derek to come with me? I knew why I didn’t let Derek accompany me. Derek was David’s friend and mine, but I knew he had feelings for me. To allow him to come with me for this weekend would not have ended well. I didn’t want to crush him and I didn’t want to lose him from my life. He was like a brother and lately, he had been my rock, not just my rock, but the rock that had been there for my girls too.
Oh shit, I saw that I was up next. Bringing a palm to my hair, I tried to smooth down the stray hairs and then I slid my palms down my side to smooth my shorts. I felt winded. Christ, why did I feel so fucking nervous? These guys could give two shits less about me and they would probably just be happy that I was the last one in the line. They probably hated this meet and greet as much as I did right now. Looking at the ground, I heard the words, “Next.”
Walking up to the guys, I tried to look confident, but I felt it really wasn’t working. They all gave me a polite smile and the lead singer, Alex, flashed his white, toothy smile at me. God, he was hot. Wow, pictures did not do him justice at all. I couldn’t help but stare at him.
“So, I see you have a camera. Would you like a picture?” Snapping out of my daze, I realized Alex had been talking to me. Alex asked again, “Would you like a picture?”
I finally choked out a response. “Yes,” Wow, I seriously sounded like an idiot. I then remembered I had nobody with me to take the damn picture. “Yes, I would, but I don’t have anyone with me who can take it.”
The guys all smiled at me again, and the drummer whose name was Steve, responded, “We have staff here, so I’m sure one of them will be glad to take it.” He then shouted to someone by the door and waved him over. Looking at them, I felt like an idiot. I should have skipped this meet and greet.
“Are all of your friends waiting for you out front?” Alex asked. His eyes were so intense watching me, I felt uncomfortable and excited at the same time.
“No, I’m here alone,” I said, not realizing my voice was soft and barely above a whisper.
“What?” Steve asked. “You came to an Awakening concert by yourself?”
“Yes,” I choked out as a response.
Alex had a bright smile on his face and asked, “Have you ever been to one of our concerts before?”
“No,” was all I managed say.
“Well, obviously, if you had, you would never return to one alone. Where are you sitting?” Alex was still staring at me with those intense blue eyes and I felt as if I was naked.
“Center, Row 3.” I was wondering why my seating had made him curious, but as soon as I said that, all four of the guys looked at each other. One, the bass player, I think his name was John, laughed. “What is so funny about where I am sitting? I thought I had a good seat.” I was getting kind of pissed at that point.
“Well,” the lead guitarist spoke up with a chuckle in his voice. “You have a great spot for the show. Actually, it’s fucking awesome, but you won’t be sitting and you are going to be crushed, grabbed, and probably fondled a bit.”
“What he is trying to say is, the first twenty rows or so, become a giant mosh pit and things sometimes get out of control,” Alex said in a calmer and more sincere voice.
“Oh,” I responded seriously.
“Why are you here alone, anyway?” Alex asked. That question took me back and pissed me off a bit.
“It’s n
ot really any of your business, but the ticket and the weekend were a gift from my friends. I’m sure I can hold my own in the pit. Christ, I teach kindergarten, so I’m used to absolute craziness.” Seriously, I couldn’t believe I just compared a kindergarten classroom to a fucking mosh pit. I had serious head issues.
The lead guitarist didn’t seem interested in the conversation, took my camera from my hands, and handed it to a guy in a yellow event shirt. I turned around and faced the camera with the guys in the band. I put on a happy, but fake as hell smile. I started to second-guess my choice in being there, and thought of leaving after the meet and greet. I thought I could just go back to the hotel room. No, No I couldn’t do that. First, the concert was a gift, second it is on the list, I fucking hate that list, and third, I always wanted to go to an Awakening concert.
The guy in the event shirt handed my camera back to me, the lead guitar player and the other guy, the bass player, walked out of the room. I put the camera away in my purse as I turned to the two remaining band members. “Thanks for the picture and have a good show. I’ll be watching if I’m not being crushed or fondled.” I smiled as I said that, more as a reassurance to myself that I was going to be watching.
“Wait,” Alex started to say, “Why don’t you watch the show from the side of the stage.”
Not sure what to say, I looked at him. Seriously, I wanted to, but why? Why was he offering for me to watch it from the stage area? I knew it wasn’t because he thought I was some groupie. That had to be obvious for a number of reasons. The fact I had clothes on, well, more than most of the women in attendance, I seriously looked like a nun in my khaki shorts and loose fitting tank top. I was much older than all those girls in line earlier were. I wasn’t old. Christ, thirty-one is still young, to most people anyway.
He must have seen the look of confusion on my face, because he quickly responded, “I know you’re alone, and where you’re sitting or will be standing is a great view of the show, but seriously, for a woman here alone, it just isn’t safe.”
Steve, the drummer who stayed with Alex, then chimed in too. “It would make us feel better if you weren’t out there alone. Seriously, if I told my wife I met a lady who came alone and was going to sit center, row 3, and I didn’t stop her or move her, she would kill me. Christ, I’d probably end up on the couch.”
Chuckling, I thought of his wife, who would probably be happy seeing me mauled out in the crowd. Her first thought would be that I was a groupie trying to hit on her hot, drummer husband. “Thank you so much for the offer, but it’s really okay. I came for the full concert experience and that’s what I planned on getting. If that meant being crushed and swatting a few hands away, then that was just what I would do.”
“Yeah, not happening.” I looked away from Steve and I looked at Alex who just said that.
“What?” I managed.
“Look, you’ll get the full concert experience and an experience not many other people get. You’ll stay safe, won’t be crushed and there will be no hands needing swatting.” I couldn’t help but look into his eyes as he was saying all that. I sensed real concern behind his words and eyes. I was actually surprised they cared where I sat.
“Alex is right, honey. Now that we know you’re out there alone, we’ll be concerned during the concert. Well, at least the two of us will be.”
Still taken back by the offer, knowing how concerned they were, I realized I really wanted to watch the concert without being assaulted. I heard my voice agreeing to watch from the side of the stage. They both looked a bit relieved that I agreed.
Steve waved another guy over and told him what was going on and to keep an eye on me. The guy graciously extended his hand to guide me by the arm to where I would be sitting. I smiled at both Alex and Steve, thanking them again. I still couldn’t believe that happened and that they took the whole meet and greet thing to a new level.
The man took me to the side of the stage and set me up in a director’s chair. I watched all the hustling around to get ready for the opening band. Not sure, who they were or even what they sang, I pulled out my phone, sending a text message to Lexi.
Guess where I am watching the concert? Seriously, Guess
Hoping she had her phone with her, I stared at the phone. It felt like forever for a response, so I decided to shoot her another text.
WTH Why are you not responding?
While I waited for a response, I looked out at the sea of people. I was amazed at how many people were filling in Comerica Park. I started to realize how happy I was that I was not one of them out there. I knew I would have felt lost and scared as hell out there alone at that moment.
I felt the buzz of my phone; I looked down and saw Lexi had finally responded.
Well, I’m guessing from Row 3 stage center, considering I paid for part of that ticket and made sure you had fantastic seats. Also, don’t get snippy with me. I’m not responding, because I’m making sure these little angels of yours have food in their little tummies. It is dinnertime you know.
Crap, I felt like shit. I had forgotten about the time. Feeling another buzz, I looked at my phone again.
Don’t feel bad, have fun.
I responded right away to Lexi by sending another message.
You know me too well, and no, not Row 3 Center. I’m on the side of the fucking stage!
I knew that it would send Lexi into freak out mode. I knew she would call me and not text. I was wrong; I felt another buzz.
Are you shitting me? How in the hell did you manage that? You better call me, NOW. Call me right effing now!
I laughed to myself, but I realized I had gotten the freak out part right. I responded right away.
I’ll call you as soon as I get back to hotel. It’s too loud now with opening band playing. After I hit send, I punched another message to her.
Thank you for this, for everything. You have been the best friend and worst enemy through all this and I know I’d still be in bed if it weren’t for you.
I wiped a tear from my cheek and thought of everything Lexi had done for me in the last 8 months. Not just for me, but for my three girls too. She let me grieve, but she didn’t allow it to consume me as it had started to. Lexi made me realize how much my girls needed me now and that if I couldn’t be strong for me, I at least owed it to them to be strong for myself. So, that was how the idea behind the list came about. After tonight, I was another step closer to that. I thought about being stronger and I wondered if I was being a stronger person. I should have watched the concert alone among the thousands of fans in the front of the stage, but there I was alone on the side of the stage.
I felt the buzz of the phone again and I looked at the screen.
Don’t make me cry, these girls will think I’m turning into you. Seriously, stop texting. Watch the damn show that I spent good money on and call me after. I want to hear everything!
I smiled as I read that. I tucked the phone back into my purse. The opening band would be done any moment and then Awakening would perform.
Once the opening band was done, the stage area was crazy busy with people running all over the place setting up the stage. I felt like I was in the way, but nobody said anything or even acknowledged me sitting there. I felt a hand that was placed on my shoulder, which immediately made me jump. I quickly turned and saw Alex with his intense eyes and gorgeous smile fixed on me. I seemed to tense up a bit more. I thought Alex felt me tense and he immediately removed his hand from my shoulder.
“Well, if placing a hand on your shoulder gets you all freaked out, it’s a good thing you are up here.”
Shit, he had felt me tense. “I wasn’t freaked out, I was caught off guard. Plus, you said I wouldn’t need to swat away any hands if I sat up here. I had my guard down, but thanks to you, I realize I need to be on alert.”
That seemed to amuse him a bit and he let out a small, but oh so sexy chuckle. He then responded, “I’m sorry for catching you off guard. I would have said your name to get your atten
tion, but you never gave it to us. I’m Alex by the way, Alex Morgan.”
“Well, you never asked for it and I already know.”
“You know what?” He looked at me a bit puzzled. “Then let me ask, what is your name?”
“I know your name already and my name is Abby, but thanks for the introduction.”
“Well, Abby, it’s nice to meet you and after talking to you, I think you were right. You could have held your own in the mosh pit.”
Not knowing what the meaning was behind the comment, I turned around. I then thought he was thinking he made a mistake by offering to let me sit along side the stage. I looked back out at the sea of people, wondering if I should have tried to fight my way to my spot before the show started. Crap, why did he have to talk to me? I had been enjoying myself and I finally felt okay being there.
I looked up and saw Alex standing in front of me. I felt like he was looking through me, more so than at me. He placed a hand on the arm of the director’s chair and leaned in a bit. “I’m glad you decided to sit up here during the show. I don’t think I could have concentrated during the show knowing all the hands you would be swatting away. Enjoy the show and I’ll talk to you after it is over.” He then winked at me and quickly walked away. I felt warm and confused, as I stared at him, all of him, as he walked away. I hadn’t gotten a chance to look at his backside earlier, but wow, he had a nice ass. I thought he was a Greek God placed here by mistake. He was tall, at least six three and built like a brick shit house. His arms were to die for and the tattoos only made the arms more appealing. If I could, I’d lick up one arm, across the chest, and down the other.
Once he got to the side of the stage where he was going to enter, he turned around and looked at me. Crap, now he knew I had been staring at him as he walked away. Christ, I even had my mouth opened a bit. Luckily, I kept the drool in my mouth. I’m sure my reaction to him and his body was something he was use to dealing with.
As I watched the show, I was amazed at how great Alex and the band sounded live. I’ve been to concerts where you can’t believe it’s the same group or person you hear on the radio because they basically sound like shit. Not these guys, they sounded better than the radio. I honestly didn’t think that it was possible. Alex owned the stage and his performance had probably turned the majority of the girls on, which their boyfriends would be happy about later.
