by Izzy Cullen
I looked out into the mass of people and was so happy I was not out there. The guys had been right. An Awakening concert was not one that a person would want to be alone at, especially in the mosh pit area. It looked absolutely crazy and I wanted the chance after the show to thank Alex and Steve for letting me watch from the stage area. The whole day had been a dream come true and amazing.
When Awakening was done with their performance, before the encore, Alex approached me. My eyes locked with his and I had to remind myself to breathe. I don’t think I have ever talked to someone this amazingly beautiful before. “How did you like it? Did we meet all your expectations?”
“Oh, my God, you guys were amazing, I honestly think you guys sound better live than on record, if that is even possible.”
Alex looked pleased and leaned in. “We aren’t done yet.” He then turned and walked back toward the stage, grabbing a bottle of water on the way. His smell of cologne mixed with his sweat was heavenly; I could probably breathe it in all day.
After the encore, Alex and the guys were rushed off stage into the backstage area. Not everything around the stage area was as busy as it was when the opening acts performance was finished, but there was still a lot of activity going on. I seemed to be in the way. I looked around, but I didn’t see a way to get out of the stage area without going the same way the band went. And I didn’t want to act like I was following them like some twenty something groupie. I looked around for someone in a yellow event shirt and found someone quickly; getting the person’s attention was completely another story. When the guy finally took the time to talk to me, he must have decided it was quicker to show me out than to direct me. After walking me to the general area, I intermingled with the concert crowd and headed in the direction of the exit.
2.
I should have taken the people mover, but decided against it since Comerica Park was only a few blocks from the hotel. I knew walking would help me settle my nerves from the excitement of the show. After I started walking, I began to second-guess my decision not to take a jacket to the concert. The early summer air was chilly and my concert attire was more for Michigan’s late summer nights. Oh well, it was too late, all I could do was suck it up and keep moving.
I easily followed a large group of people who were walking in the same direction as the hotel. That was safer than walking alone in downtown Detroit. It only took about ten minutes to get back to the Renaissance Center where the Marriot is located. I walked into the lobby and decided to hit the bar for a glass of wine, thinking it would help warm me a bit, or nothing else, relax me.
After I ordered the wine, I decided to call Lexi. I knew I was going to be hit with a million and one questions, so it was best to be armed with a drink. I didn’t even remember hearing it ring, but she was on the other end. “So, how in the hell did you get onstage with Awakening?”
“I wasn’t really on stage with Awakening. I was on the side of the stage in a chair. I think there is a difference.”
“No, Not really, Abby, you were on fucking stage. How in the hell did you do it. Did you flash that killer smile and shake your booty like all the other hot little groupies?”
I heard her laughing. She knew me well enough to know it would never happen. “No,” I started to respond. “During the meet and greet, the fact I was at the concert alone came up and then one of them asked me where I was sitting. After I told them the awesome seats you and Derek got me, they didn’t want me to sit there alone. Something about me being crushed and mauled by the mosh pit that would form during the concert.”
“Crap, I didn’t think of that when we bought the tickets. I forgot that these guys aren’t like the bands I’m use too. You have to like the heavy shit. In a way, I think I should be hearing a big ass thank you out of those little lips of yours. Honestly, if you think about it, I’m the reason you were on stage.”
I started to laugh; she would think she was the reason behind me being on stage. Not waiting for my reply, Lexi continued to talk. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not making a big deal about it, but those pictures of you and Awakening better be on Facebook by the time my ass gets up in the morning. FYI, I will be up early too, because these chicks of yours have no clue on how to sleep in.”
“How are the girls? I miss them. Tell them I’ll call them in the morning.”
“They’re fine. They didn’t even notice that you were gone. Plus, you haven’t been away from them in months, Abbs. This time away is good for all of you. Also, instead of you calling in the morning, how about I have them call you as soon as they drag my sorry ass out of bed?”
“Um, I guess you are right. The separation is good for us, so there is no need for them to call me early. I should give them a few more hours of separation and call when I get up.”
“Nice, but you deserve a sleep-in day. You’re with them non-stop and with summer here, you won’t get many sleep in days.”
Lexi and I shot the shit for a few more minutes and she filled me in on the adventures of the day. I debated whether to go home the next day or stay for the Tigers game as planned. After listening to her lecture me on the importance of the list and reminding her that the Tigers weren’t on the list, it was decided I would stay. I really could use another day to myself.
I hung up with Lexi and ordered another drink. Lost in thought of how I got there and the events of the day, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Without thinking, I jumped and spilled part of my drink. “Seriously, what the fuck!” That managed to slip out of my mouth before I turned around to see who was rude enough to put their hands on me. I looked over my shoulder, shooting the asshole an annoyed look. Shit, the asshole was Alex. Of course it was, just my luck. My pissed off face remained, but my breathing hitched a bit and I was hoping to hell he didn’t realize that.
“Must be my lucky night,” Alex said, with a wide smile from ear to ear, of course.
“Why is that? Did you find some twenty something year old to entertain you for the night?” I hoped like hell he hadn’t, but then wondered why I should really care. I didn’t know him at all and would probably never see him again.
“Actually, I found you. You were supposed to wait after the concert. I remember saying I would see you after the show.”
“Well, you did see me after the show. You talked to me right before the encore, unless you forgot.”
“No, I didn’t forget, but the time before the encore isn’t the end of the show. So, why did you leave?”
“The show was over. I needed to get back to the hotel, so here I am.” Obviously, and why did he really care?
He smiled at me again, which made me tingle everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. Honestly, I couldn’t even remember the last time my body felt like that. I didn’t think it had ever reacted that way to a smile. I needed to calm down, and to stop my body’s reaction to him. More than likely, it was simply the whole rock star charm he was waving over me. I needed to be stronger than his charm at this moment. “Well, I was hoping to talk more with you.” Just then a group of girls, well not girls, twenty something year olds, walked up to Alex and asked him for a picture and an autograph. One of the girls wanted it right on her chest. Alex complied and chatted with them for a few minutes. I turned away and finished my drink. I grabbed the bartender’s attention and I asked for my tab. Quickly, I paid it, standing so I could leave the bar.
Alex grabbed my hand and asked me to wait a minute. I looked down at his hand, slightly annoyed and excited by having it on mine. He excused himself from the girls and stood with me. “So, where are we going?”
“What do you mean, where are we going? We are going nowhere, but I’m going back to my room, curling up with a book and opening a bottle of wine.” I wondered to myself why I would give him the complete list of what I planned on doing. I could have simply said I was leaving.
Smiling again (seriously who smiles that much?) Alex responded to my statement. “Well, I was being honest when I said I wanted to talk more. Could I head up to the r
oom with you and open the wine for you?”
“No, that’s not a good idea. First, I don’t know you. Second, I’m not a groupie, and third, I’m not sure what we have to talk about.”
“Well, if I remember correctly, we did the whole introduction thing, so I’m not really a stranger. I know you aren’t a groupie and that’s one of the reasons I wanted to talk with you. If talking in your room makes you uncomfortable, we can head to my suite. We won’t be alone, because my assistant, Sam, is there working and staying in one of the rooms.”
Just as I was about to respond, two more girls approached for an autograph and picture. That was my chance for an escape and I quickly took it. I left the bar area and headed for the bank of elevators outside the lobby. Just as I was getting on, someone rushed in to the elevator with me. I looked up and saw Alex, and I let out an obviously loud sigh. Alex reached over and hit a button to one of the floors. I started to reach to hit my floor, but Alex stopped my hand. “Wow, can’t say I’ve ever had someone rush off on me without a bye or goodnight.”
“Well, you seemed a little busy and I didn’t want to interrupt. It was just easier to head to my room.”
“Here’s the thing, we’re going to head to mine. Wait before you protest. Give me ten minutes. If I make you uncomfortable at all, you can leave and I won’t stop you or follow you.”
Before I could even respond to what he had said, the elevator doors opened and Alex stood between the elevator door and the hall. I stepped out, not really realizing what I was doing. “Fine, but five minutes; you have five.”
He smiled and nodded his head in agreement. We walked to his door where a hotel security guy was standing. The security slid a key into the key slot and let us into the room. He looked at us and as we walked past, he said, “Good evening.”
When we got into the room, I was amazed at how large his suite was and how much of a view he had compared to mine. All rooms had a view, but this one wrapped a third or more around the hotel tower. He had the view of Windsor, Ontario and the Bridge to Canada. Not thinking, I walked over to the wall of windows to gaze out at Windsor at night all lit up.
“I thought you were coming right up after the show?” I head a female voice calling out to him. I quickly turned around and saw a woman exiting one of the rooms in the suite. Feeling uncomfortable and not knowing who she was, I took a step towards the door to leave. Alex quickly touched my arm on the elbow.
“Abby, this is my assistant, Sam. Sam, this is Abby.”
“Actually, I’m his sister first and his assistant second, but I think he forgets that from time to time. It’s nice to meet you, Abby.” She looked over at Alex with a confused look on her face.
“Abby was at the meet and greet and came to the concert alone. So, Steve and I thought it best to get her a seat on the side of the stage so she wouldn’t be mauled in the mosh pit.”
“I thought the concern was me being crushed?” I wasn’t really sure when my mouth decided to open and join the conversation.
“That too,” Alex said with a smile.
“Well, I’m glad you were able to watch the concert and not be crushed or mauled,” Sam said with a genuine smile on her face.
Alex then explained to Sam how he ran into me again at the hotel bar, but due to fans, he thought it was best to come back up to the room to talk without interruptions.
“I’ll leave you guys to talk and I’ll head in to get some work done then.”
I looked at Sam and thought it was so much safer if she stayed in the room with us.
“Why don’t you stay here with us and have a drink. As Alex’s sister, you can tell me about the real him and he won’t be able to fabricate any stories to his benefit.”
“That sounds like a great idea. Alex, why don’t you grab a bottle of wine? This may be a fun night after all.”
Alex left the room and Sam guided me by the arm over to the sitting area. It had a couch and two nice armchairs with a beautiful coffee table in the middle. She then placed me on the couch next to her and smiled. She didn’t say anything, but for some reason, her smile made me relax.
Alex returned with a bottle of Pinot Noir and three glasses. “I hope this is okay. I figured you were good with red since that’s what you were drinking at the bar.”
I nodded my head and responded with a soft yes. That was all I could manage. While Alex was pouring the wine into the glasses, Sam looked at me with big brown eyes. I couldn’t see much of a resemblance between Sam and Alex. “So, why did you go to an Awakening by yourself? Your husband didn’t want to come?”
Looking at her with large eyes, I saw she noticed the ring on my left hand. She then looked at Alex, probably to let him know I was wearing a ring and to be careful. She was probably assuming I was a groupie and planned to sleep with the rock star.
“Umm…well…No, I mean he doesn’t like Awakening. Ugh, I’m married, but not married.” Stopping to breathe, I felt like an idiot. I didn’t want to explain my story to them. I didn’t know them and I didn’t want pity. The weekend was about moving on, not thinking about everything that had happened in the last eight months. Finally, with a deep breath and on the release, I felt myself speaking. “I’m widowed; my husband died 8 months ago. I’m here alone, because my friends thought I needed to do a few things that I’ve always wanted to do. They bought the ticket for me.”
I grabbed my wine and I took a big drink, hoping it would calm my nerves. As I was drinking, I could feel both sets of eyes on me. I felt a hand on mine. Looking up, I saw Sam staring right at me. “Oh, my God, I am so sorry. I saw the ring and thought something completely different, I am sorry.”
“Really, it’s okay and I understand why you asked. It’s not a big deal. It was a while ago and there is nothing to be sorry about.”
Sam quickly changed the subject. I sat and listened to her and Alex telling me stories of the road and a few stories of them as kids. I really enjoyed it. I felt like I was sitting with friends, not a famous rock star and his sister. Throughout it all, I kept locking eyes with Alex. It wasn’t just a simple meeting of the eyes, it felt like so much more, like a connection. I was probably over thinking and basing it on some inner wish. I obviously was buzzed with all the wine I had been consuming since the hotel bar and here.
At about one in the morning, Sam stood to leave and asked to talk to Alex. I noticed while they talked that their eyes kept coming back to me. I felt uncomfortable and decided it was time for me to head back to my room too. It was late or early depending how you looked at the time.
“Where are you going?” I heard Alex say as he was walking back towards me.
“Well, it is getting late and I overstayed my five minutes by a couple of hours. I think I should head back to my room now.”
“One more glass, will you stay for one more glass of wine?” Looking at me, I swear I saw an almost desperation or pleading in his eyes for me to stay a bit longer. When I looked at my hands and then back up, it was gone. The wine must be making me wish for things that weren’t there.
“I don’t know. I should get back to my room.”
“Do you have an early morning planned?”
Thinking about my day and the fact that I didn’t have plans in the morning, but wished at that moment, I did, so I would have an excuse to leave. “Actually, no, but you probably do, so I should let you get some sleep.”
“Actually, I don’t either. We have a show in Chicago on Sunday, so we aren’t flying over till later tomorrow afternoon.”
Shit, that was my only way out. “One, I will stay for one more small glass.”
Instantly, a smile was on his face and my body was tingling. I quickly sat on the couch, because I was afraid my legs would fail me and I’d fall. Every time he looked at me, I felt weak and tingly. That was the craziest feeling. I felt like a high school girl finally being talked to by a boy I had a crush on. Seriously, I was thirty-one and needed to settle down.
Alex grabbed my wine glass and filled it up, and w
hile he did that, I took a closer look at his features. I had already examined his chiseled god-like body, but his face was equally beautiful. His eyes were a sharp, sparkling, deep blue that grabbed you and sucked you in, but there was gentleness to them when he looked at you. His cheekbones were higher, but helped round out the god-like form. Once I looked at his lips, I couldn’t take my eyes away from them. All I seemed to think about was how they would taste or how it would be to have them taste me.
“Is this enough, or would you like more in the glass?” Confused, I looked up at Alex and felt my face go instantly red. He saw me staring at his mouth. I felt like such an idiot. I somehow managed to choke out a response, “It’s perfect, thank you.”
Alex moved over and took Sam’s place on the couch by me. He bent his knee and tucked it under his leg so he could turn his body towards me. When he did, his shirt tightened across his chest and stomach area, showing off his taut muscles.
“I’m sorry to hear about your husband.”
“Thanks,” was all I seemed to get out. I really didn’t want to talk about my husband with him, especially him. I felt so exposed talking about David.
“Were you married long?”
“Thirteen years.” All I could do was look at my hands.
Alex took my left hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, but he didn’t let it go. “How old were you when you got married? You look about late twenties and that can’t be right.”
“I was eighteen when we married. I’m thirty-one now, but thanks for the compliment. Can we talk about something else?”
“Okay, what would you like to talk about? We did a lot of talking about me, thanks to Sam, but I want to know about you.”
I wasn’t sure what I wanted to tell him, but I knew any information I offered was better than the prying questions that he might have for me. I told him about my three girls and the fact that I was a teacher. Then I told him about the small town where I lived and how much I loved living there, especially in the summer. I told him about my parent’s pub that I worked at a few nights a week, just so I could have conversations with people over the age of seven. The fact I loved to run and used it as a way to escape my reality. The whole time I talked, he listened. I didn’t feel as if he was listening to humor me, but that he listened because he was genuinely interested in my life. Alex asked questions whenever he thought he wanted more details on something, but he never asked anything to personal. It felt good to be me for a while, not the me that is a newly, single, parent of three, the widow, or the teacher, but me, Abby Porter.
