Miss or Mrs.?

by Wilkie Collins

  FOURTH SCENE.

  Muswell Hill.

  The next day Turlington drove to the suburbs, on the chance of findingthe Graybrookes at home again. Sir Joseph disliked London, and couldnot prevail on himself to live any nearer to the metropolis than MuswellHill. When Natalie wanted a change, and languished for balls, theaters,flower-shows, and the like, she had a room especially reserved for herin the house of Sir Joseph's married sister, Mrs. Sancroft, living inthat central deep of the fashionable whirlpool known among mortals asBerkeley Square.

  On his way through the streets, Turlington encountered a plain proofthat the Graybrookes must have returned. He was passed by Launce,driving, in company with a gentleman, in a cab. The gentleman wasLaunce's brother, and the two were on their way to the Commissionersof Police to make the necessary arrangements for instituting an inquiryinto Turlington's early life.

  Arrived at the gate of the villa, the information received onlypartially fulfilled the visitor's expectations. The family had returnedon the previous evening. Sir Joseph and his sister were at home, butNatalie was away again already. She had driven into town to lunch withher aunt. Turlington went into the house.

  "Have you lost any money?" Those were the first words uttered by SirJoseph when he and Richard met again, after the parting on board theyacht.

  "Not a farthing. I might have lost seriously, if I had not got back intime to set things straight. Stupidity on the part of my people left incharge--nothing more. It's all right now."

  Sir Joseph lifted his eyes, with heartfelt devotion, to the ceiling."Thank God, Richard!" he said, in tones of the deepest feeling. He rangthe bell. "Tell Miss Graybrooke Mr. Turlington is here." He turned againto Richard. "Lavinia is like me--Lavinia has been so anxious about you.We have both of us passed a sleepless night." Miss Lavinia came in. SirJoseph hurried to meet her, and took her affectionately by both hands."My dear! the best of all good news, Richard has not lost a farthing."Miss Lavinia lifted _her_ eyes to the ceiling with heartfelt devotion,and said, "Thank God, Richard!"--like the echo of her brother's voice;a little late, perhaps, for its reputation as an echo, but accurate tohalf a note in its perfect repetition of sound.

  Turlington asked the question which it had been his one object to put inpaying his visit to Muswell Hill.

  "Have you spoken to Natalie?"

  "This morning," replied Sir Joseph. "An opportunity offered itself afterbreakfast. I took advantage of it, Richard--you shall hear how."

  He settled himself in his chair for one of his interminable stories; hebegan his opening sentence--and stopped, struck dumb at the firstword. There was an unexpected obstacle in the way--his sister was notattending to him; his sister had silenced him at starting. The storytouching, this time, on the question of marriage, Miss Lavinia had herwoman's interest in seeing full justice done to the subject. She seizedon her brother's narrative as on property in her own right.

  "Joseph should have told you," she began, addressing herself toTurlington, "that our dear girl was unusually depressed in spirits thismorning. Quite in the right frame of mind for a little serious talkabout her future life. She ate nothing at breakfast, poor child, but amorsel of dry toast."

  "And marmalade," said Sir Joseph, striking in at the first opportunity.The story, on this occasion, being Miss Lavinia's story, the politecontradictions necessary to its successful progress were naturallytransferred from the sister to the brother, and became contradictions onSir Joseph's side.

  "No," said Miss Lavinia, gently, "if you _will_ have it, Joseph--jam."

  "I beg your pardon," persisted Sir Joseph; "marmalade."

  "What _does_ it matter, brother?"

  "Sister! the late great and good Doctor Johnson said accuracy oughtalways to be studied even in the most trifling things."

  "You _will_ have your way, Joseph--"(this was the formula--answeringto Sir Joseph's 'Let us waive the point'--which Miss Lavinia used, asa means of conciliating her brother, and getting a fresh start for herstory). "Well, we took dear Natalie out between us, after breakfast,for a little walk in the grounds. My brother opened the subject withinfinite delicacy and tact. 'Circumstances,' he said, 'into which it wasnot then necessary to enter, made it very desirable, young as she was,to begin to think of her establishment in life.' And then he referred,Richard (so nicely), to your faithful and devoted attachment--"

  "Excuse me, Lavinia. I began with Richard's attachment, and then I goton to her establishment in life."

  "Excuse _me_, Joseph. You managed it much more delicately than yousuppose. You didn't drag Richard in by the head and shoulders in thatway."

  "Lavinia! I began with Richard."

  "Joseph! your memory deceives you."

  Turlington's impatience broke through all restraint.

  "How did it end?" he asked. "Did you propose to her that we should bemarried in the first week of the New Year?"

  "Yes!" said Miss Lavinia.

  "No!" said Sir Joseph.

  The sister looked at the brother with an expression of affectionatesurprise. The brother looked at the sister with a fund of amiablecontradiction, expressed in a low bow.

  "Do you really mean to deny, Joseph, that you told Natalie we haddecided on the first week in the New Year?"

  "I deny the New Year, Lavinia. I said early in January."

  "You _will_ have your way, Joseph! We were walking in the shrubbery atthe time. I had our dear girl's arm in mine, and I felt it tremble.She suddenly stopped. 'Oh,' she said, 'not so soon!' I said, 'My dear,consider Richard!' She turned to her father. She said, 'Don't, praydon't press it so soon, papa! I respect Richard; I like Richard as yourtrue and faithful friend; but I don't love him as I ought to love himif I am to be his wife.' Imagine her talking in that way! What could shepossibly know about it? Of course we both laughed--"

  "_you_ laughed, Lavinia."

  "_you_ laughed, Joseph."

  "Get on, for God's sake!" cried Turlington, striking his handpassionately on the table by which he was sitting. "Don't madden me bycontradicting each other! Did she give way or not?"

  Miss Lavinia turned to her brother. "Contradicting each other, Joseph!"she exclaimed, lifting her hands in blank amazement.

  "Contradicting each other!" repeated Sir Joseph, equally astonished onhis side. "My dear Richard, what can you be thinking of? I contradict mysister! We never disagreed in our lives."

  "I contradict my brother! We have never had a cross word between us fromthe time when we were children."

  Turlington internally cursed his own irritable temper.

  "I beg your pardon--both of you," he said. "I didn't know what I wassaying. Make some allowance for me. All my hopes in life are centered inNatalie; and you have just told me (in her own words, Miss Lavinia) thatshe doesn't love. You don't mean any harm, I dare say; but you cut me tothe heart."

  This confession, and the look that accompanied it, touched the readysympathies of the two old people in the right place. The remainder ofthe story dropped between them by common consent. They vied with eachother in saying the comforting words which would allay their dearRichard's anxiety. How little he knew of young girls. How could he beso foolish, poor fellow! as to attach any serious importance to whatNatalie had said? As if a young creature in her teens knew the state ofher own heart! Protestations and entreaties were matters of course, insuch cases. Tears even might be confidently expected from a right-mindedgirl. It had all ended exactly as Richard would have wished it to end.Sir Joseph had said, "My child! this is a matter of experience; lovewill come when you are married." And Miss Lavinia had added, "DearNatalie, if you remembered your poor mother as I remember her, you wouldknow that your father's experience is to be relied on." In that way theyhad put it to her; and she had hung her head and had given--all thatmaiden modesty could be expected to give--a silent consent. "Thewedding-day was fixed for the first week in the New Year." ("No, Joseph;not January--the New Year.") "And God bless you, Richard! and may yourmarried life be a long and happy one."

  So t
he average ignorance of human nature, and the average belief inconventional sentiment, complacently contemplated the sacrifice of onemore victim on the all-devouring altar of Marriage! So Sir Joseph andhis sister provided Launcelot Linzie with the one argument which hewanted to convince Natalie: "Choose between making the misery ofyour life by marrying _him_, and making the happiness of your life bymarrying _me._"

  "When shall I see her?" asked Turlington, with Miss Lavinia (in tearswhich did _her_ credit) in possession of one of his hands, and SirJoseph (in tears which did _him_ credit) in possession of the other.

  "She will be back to dinner, dear Richard. Stay and dine."

  "Thank you. I must go into the City first. I will come back and dine."

  With that arrangement in prospect, he left them.

  An hour later a telegram arrived from Natalie. She had consented todine, as well as lunch, in Berkeley Square--sleeping there that night,and returning the next morning. Her father instantly telegraphed backby the messenger, insisting on Natalie's return to Muswell Hill thatevening, in time to meet Richard Turlington at dinner.

  "Quite right. Joseph," said Miss Lavinia, looking over her brother'sshoulder, while he wrote the telegram.

  "She is showing a disposition to coquet with Richard," rejoined SirJoseph, with the air of a man who knew female human nature in itsremotest corners. "My telegram, Lavinia, will have its effect."

  Sir Joseph was quite right. His telegram _had_ its effect. It not onlybrought his daughter back to dinner--it produced another result whichhis prophetic faculty had altogether failed to foresee.

  The message reached Berkeley Square at five o'clock in the afternoon.Let us follow the message.