by Brandt Legg
When Linh and Amber had saved me in the same lake after the theater massacre, I was still alive. But Kyle appeared to have been dead for a while. And with the time differences, it could have been a day, or even longer. Still, I held his body for hours. Finally, I laid him half on the bank, so that his legs were still floating. Both girls were asleep when I returned to the lodge. I woke Amber quietly, and we talked about the best way to get Linh through this. Before we had a plan, Linh woke.
“Still think nonviolence is the answer?” She stared hard at me.
“We don’t even know if this is real,” Amber said. “It could be like Dustin.”
Surprised, I looked at Amber. It hadn’t occurred to me. Thinking of Kyle’s mutilated body back at the lake, it didn’t seem possible, but then again this was Outin. Anything was possible.
“We need to find Dustin. He’ll know if there’s a chance. He’s been living here.”
“He may be dead, too,” Linh said. “And Kyle is dead for sure.” She suddenly broke into tears, wailing. I was positive he was dead, not just from holding his lifeless body but because of what Spencer had said about every person having a physical energy that when gone leaves a void and changes the entire energy field of the planet. Once I tuned in, I felt Kyle’s change had been made. He was dead.
At least now I knew death was nothing but a transition, and I would see the true Kyle again and again. His soul was forever. It was, in fact, still on earth in any number of incarnations, such as Travis Curry, the Mayan book guy. He was one of the entrusted nine. He and I were on a collision course to meet again—destiny would see to that. But even with all that knowledge, the understanding of soul-powers, and the overriding importance of the Movement, I ached. If it weren’t for the need to keep the girls alive and find my brother, I would have been in the woods, crying and pounding the earth, like I did so often after my dad died.
Linh insisted on seeing Kyle. As my senses returned, I realized every minute we stayed in the open was too risky, but Linh could not be dissuaded. He was where I’d left him. He looked small and alone— a crippled, beaten orphan, dumped in the dirt. Our tears tore at us.
“We can’t stay,” I choked.
“We can’t leave him here.” Linh’s voice was strained.
“What about moving him to the middle of the lake, it’s beautiful. The flowers. He loved flowers.” Amber looked at Linh.
She nodded.
I had already changed into one of the extra set of clothes Spencer had sent for Kyle and Dustin, and left the blood-soaked ones at the lodge. The girls quietly undressed and walked into the water. I stood watch on shore. Soon I lost sight of them as they blended in with the millions of flowers floating in the massive lake. After half an hour, my body began to burn. Then I saw soldiers coming from the lodge. No doubt finding wet clothes and a missing corpse had created a stir. There were ten of them; they’d seen me.
67
The mystics had taught me well. Combining the knowledge of my soul-powers with the experience in the storm of removing fear, I forged an energy within me that was enough to overcome my anger about Kyle. There is strength in nonviolence that many have known before me. Still, I wasn’t interested in being a martyr and had to act fast to avoid being slaughtered.
I hoped my ability to manipulate elements worked in this dimension. Rain might not be the same, but I did have access to an endless supply of water. I surged a wave from the lake twenty feet high and then froze it. Instant barrier. I heard their shots behind the ice wall. Next, I took shadows from the closest trees and expanded them so that we were in total darkness. That’s when I sent the wall of fire. It burned bright purple and black. I kept it at a safe distance, as a deterrent, not a weapon.
The fire gave me more time to gather more water. After a few minutes, they were enclosed by a rainbow maze of fire and ice. Twenty more soldiers approached from the other direction, still in full light. Using the same tactics, I quickly hemmed them in. There was still no sign of the girls. I couldn’t wait much longer and had to decide whether to drop my guard and try to contact them on the astral, to swim into the lake, or to just keep waiting. There was no way to know how many soldiers there were. It would be foolish to lead them into the lake. Instead, I manipulated the light to cause a blinding ring of glare and flash, just inside the other barriers. I sat on the starry ground facing the water, quieted myself and concentrated on finding the girls over the astral.
They were on an island, miles in. I explained the attack and told them to stay where they were.
“No, we’re coming to help you,” Amber said.
“It’s too dangerous. I’m not staying here. I’m going to the fifth lake.”
“Damn it, Nate.”
“How’s Linh?”
“She’s in pieces, but the lake is helping. We can be—”
“Amber, please don’t follow me. I promise I’ll be back soon. Stay with Linh. I can go faster alone.”
“But why?”
“I need to get to the fifth lake. I think Dustin might be there, and something occurred to me... if we’re supposed to save Outin from these invaders, how are we ever going to make them leave without killing them?”
“What if we just find Dustin and leave?”
“Amber, I can’t stay. The soldiers will get to me. Will you do what I ask?”
“Yes, but—“
The bullets hit my legs in three places. My eyes flashed on the soldier crouched at the shore and the two others, still in the lake, who swam around the frozen wall. Another spray of bullets missed me as I was levitating and had us all in total darkness. It took almost half a minute for the soldier to toss a flare, but I was already behind a new wall of ice. The injuries to my legs were weakening me fast. I needed to get to the healing waters of the lake, but my own barriers were preventing me from reaching it. I managed to get two Lusans made, but it took almost all my remaining energy. It was inevitable that the soldiers would eventually get over the barriers and I’d be killed. The Lusans would take too long. I needed to get to the lake.
Kyle’s voice came through, clear and calm. “Breathe. Slow-ly. Re-lax.” I looked around, but of course he wasn’t there. “Breathe.” On the fifth deep breath I realized the walls of ice surrounding me were frozen healing water from Floral Lake. I used Gogen and fire to create a pool, took off my clothes, and slipped into the warm, healing water.
Through the wonderful combination of soaking in Floral’s water, multiple Lusans, and my own healing soul-powers, I was moving again. My legs were still very sore, but I didn’t dare risk slowing. There was no sign of choppers in the air, so I chose that as my route. I created a pastel windstorm, which included shadowy darkness with alternating bursts of blinding light, to render their night vision goggles ineffective. I floated and Skyclimbed above the disturbance until I was a safe distance away. My only chance for survival rested within the knowledge of my insane brother and resistance to the urge to use destructively the awakening powers of my soul.
68
The fifth lake of Outin, hardly a lake compared to the other four, was right where Dustin said it would be, but Dustin wasn’t there. It was the size of a tennis court, with crystal clear water, surrounded by rocks, and, according to Dustin, miles deep. He’d said you didn’t need air—something about the water being so pure your body just absorbed the oxygen. It seemed incredible, but we didn’t need food here. Looking down into the waters, I wondered if it might be a portal.
The lake was concealed in a thick grove of glass-like trees, and that grove was within a larger section of white trees. Their globe-leaves were unusual for Outin because they were also white and clear. It was like being within a natural sanctuary. Lightyear was far away from this place. Before entering the lake, I wanted to check on the girls and reached Amber on the astral.
“I’m at the fifth lake.”
“Did you see many soldiers?” Amber was really asking if I’d killed anyone.
“No real trouble. How’s Linh?”<
br />
“We’re both okay. When can we join you?”
“There are too many soldiers around Floral Lake right now. You’re safe. I’ll be back soon.”
“How do you know we’re safe? Kyle’s dead, yet we were the ones who were supposed to die.”
“That’s what I keep trying to tell you. The future is not for sure. We’re changing it. Be calm, be strong.”
“In spite of what they did to Kyle, Linh and I still believe nonviolence is the right path. Kyle would agree, don’t you think?”
“Yes. It’s the only way.”
“I, we miss you.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll see you soon. Trust the universe.”
I hid my clothes and pack in the rocks, glad not to have the Jadeo with me. The water was hot, but as I kicked deeper, it cooled a bit. Dustin was right, breathing was easy and I wondered if babies inside the womb felt like this. Gradually I felt different, as if all the pressure and weight of my earthly existence were vanishing. Even my legs were pain-free. Suddenly a flood of information and images filtered through my mind. Dustin had said that the lake clarifies what you already know and brings new awareness to your perception of things in which you lack certainty. I decided to call the fifth lake of Outin “Clarity Lake.”
The temperature of the crystal-clear water made me feel like I was floating in a strangely lit cave... I wasn’t sure the water was even there. But my thoughts were commanded elsewhere, as the revelations and understandings came, one after another. Baca, Kirby, and Amparo were all in custody. How were they finding and capturing mystics? We’d known Baca, the Mexican farmer who saved us on I-5, was arrested but not identified by Lightyear as a mystic. Kirby, who taught us shapeshifting and Kellaring, should have been impossible to catch. And poor Amparo... they were all in custody—maximum-security isolation cells somewhere in Nevada. It was a real jolt discovering they were rounding up mystics. Then I remembered not all mystics could vanish at will, and although some might be ancient or possibly not even human, others were like me. I’d been a mystic for a few months, and I’d come close to death or capture many times.
Information continued to infiltrate my mind. Dustin was alive in Outin as Spencer had promised. But Kyle was truly dead, my lingering hope shattered. His aunt and uncle, Linh’s parents, did not know yet. They, along with Mom and Bridgette, were still in custody in Virginia. At least the facility seemed modern, and they appeared in good health. How long before Kyle and Linh’s grandmother, Bà, and my parents’ business partner, Josh, got picked up? What about my history teacher, Mr. Anderson? Was anyone who knew or helped me safe?
The water of Clarity Lake was different from that of Floral Lake. Rather than healing, it seemed incredibly energizing—like toppling Lightyear could be a breeze. My feelings for Linh and Amber were deep and spanned many lifetimes. I loved them both. But, in this lifetime, I could only be with one of them, and that time might be short. Kyle’s death was a brutal reminder of how close we all were to being taken away from one another. Even in the radiant magical waters of Clarity Lake, thoughts of Kyle’s mutilated dead body filled me with despair. How had it come to this? The answer came instantly—the Jadeo. Although I thought this was all about Lightyear and the Movement, it originated and revolved around the Jadeo. It was the answer to everything and could save mankind, but if it appeared too soon or was recovered by Lightyear, then the human race would continue toward destruction. The Movement wasn’t about protecting the Jadeo; that was the job of the nine original entrusted ones. IM was actually about preparing the world for the Jadeo.
I swirled through the waters, thinking about Hibbs and Clastier, topics that had occupied me during the prior weeks. Those earlier lifetimes were also just part of my education and preparation for this incarnation as Nathan Ryder. To my relief, I wasn’t to be the leader of the Movement but rather an inspiration.
Another stunning revelation showed that I wasn’t the “you” on the list of the entrusted nine from Dad’s desk; “you” was actually Dustin. My dad had left the paper and the Jadeo for Dustin. What were the ramifications of that? Could either of us have carried it to safety?
Mom’s decision to lock Dustin up could have been more than a tragic mistake; she unknowingly put us all at risk and jeopardized the Jadeo. It seemed even Clarity Lake had limits of what it could answer. Still, Dustin being Dad’s choice to take the Jadeo changed my thinking about everything and left me questioning even more about what wrong decisions or assumptions might have led to Kyle’s death. It was somehow my fault, destined or not, regardless of the definition of death. How many others? Rose, Crowd? Who was next? Could I stop it? Would I cause more?
I saw that, unbeknownst to my dad, my soul was incarnated as one of the three remaining names on the list. But before I could discover which one, more information came, and it was so shocking it sent me swimming frantically for the surface in a flailing need for a taste of real air.
69
Aunt Rose was still alive. Hyperventilating, coughing, and crying, I clawed at the rocks as they scratched my naked, shivering body. She wasn’t just alive. Rose was freely and willingly working with Lightyear to apprehend the Ryder brothers. Her death had been a ruse—no wonder I could never communicate with her. She had planted the dream in Linh’s head that had confirmed her death. Did Spencer know? Of course he knew. He knew everything and had chosen, yet again, to withhold another piece of critical information from me. Why? Wouldn’t it have been safer if I’d known? More importantly, why was Rose doing this? Perhaps she was the traitor from the original entrusted nine.
Somehow I dragged myself to my clothes. I managed to make a tiny Lusan while my teeth were chattering. Once I was dressed and meditating, my temperature returned to normal.
I found my mother on the astral. “Nate, my God. Are you alive?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“There have been reports that you were dead.”
I actually had to stop and think about it. How would I know if I were dead, especially in Outin? There was a possibility I’d been dead for a while and didn’t know it. Going insane was easier than it looked—once everything you thought turns out to be different, and every day the lines between the past, present, and future, the living and dead, the possible and impossible blur or become erased entirely... there’s no sense of reality left.
“Nate are you still there?”
“Yes, I am. Don’t believe what you see in the media and definitely don’t believe what the government tells you.”
“Oh, Nate. Please turn yourself in before you’re killed. There will be a fair trial, and you can explain how all this happened.”
“Mom, Rose is alive.”
“What? Rose, how did you find out? I mean... ”
“Wait, did you know?”
“Well, I... yes, yes. Rose has visited me here.”
“Jesus, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Rose asked me not to. She said that she couldn’t help you if you knew.”
“That doesn’t make sense. Why would me knowing she was alive stop her from helping me? Mom, she’s working with Lightyear to arrest Dustin and me.”
“Maybe she thinks that’s the best way to help you.”
“No, Lightyear isn’t trying to bring me in. Why the hell don’t you get this? They want me dead. Lightyear is trying to kill me, and Rose is helping them.”
“Okay, what if she is? I never did trust that woman. But if it’s true that they want to kill you, then you need to—” Mom was gone. It took almost three minutes to find her again.
“Are you back? It’s funny how I can feel your presence. You have these powers to do good, not to run and hide.”
“Mom, people fear what they don’t understand. And the man who runs Lightyear is greedy and corrupt. He wants me out of his way.”
“Turn yourself in. Once you’re in custody, they can’t hurt you. They’ve been treating me fine, and Linh’s parents and Amber’s sister—her mother’s a movie star for goodnes
s sakes. They have to keep you safe and have a fair trial.”
“If I believed that, I would do it. But Mom, it’s so much bigger than this lifetime, than these personalities.”
“Just think—” I tried for five minutes to reach her again before giving up.
Linh came through fairly easily. I considered not telling her about Rose because they’d had a connection, and this betrayal, following so closely behind Kyle’s death, seemed extra cruel. But I didn’t want to be like Spencer, choosing what and when to tell such important facts.
“So my dream about her death wasn’t real?”
“She must have used some form of Solteer to make you have the dream. It was real, but the information wasn’t. She’s alive. My Mom has seen and talked to her.”
“I didn’t know her that long, but working with Lightyear?”
“One thing I’ve learned through all this is everything is deeper than it appears. We aren’t just acting in this lifetime. We get all mixed up about the events and drama of a few years, or even decades, when it’s really about centuries, millennia. So I don’t want to judge it, if that’s the role she is playing.”
“You sound like Yangchen. How can you let it go like that?”
“I can’t. I’m just trying to.”
“Will you come get us now?”
“Yeah. Let me get myself together. I may go into the lake one more time, and then I’ll make my way back to you guys. I’ll come tonight.”
Alone in the strangeness of Outin, I tried to make sense of it all. My legs needed attention, and while doing healings on them, my thoughts bounced from Rose’s betrayal to my mother’s confinement, from finding Dustin to how to safely get back to the girls. But mostly my mind was consumed with failing my best friend. I’d been so concerned about saving the girls and stopping the mall attack that I missed the danger to Kyle. He did everything I asked and trusted me more than I do myself. “I’m so sorry, Kyle,” I whispered.
